“Thanks,” Leila said, perfectly content. She treasured Eli’s friendship more than she had any other friend. His praise and acceptance meant so much to her. Having him in her life gave her confidence she had never felt before. It was only somewhere in the back of her mind that she remembered Luke had promised to call her.
Sometime later, when Leila started having trouble keeping her eyes open, Eli walked her to his door. He had found her purse somewhere, and even offered to drive her home if she was too tired. It had been a long day, but Leila knew she would be fine driving. It was probably just her imagination when she thought Eli’s hug goodbye lasted a little longer than usual. The kiss he placed on her cheek was very real. It was friendly, nothing overly intimate, but Leila wondered, hoped even, that it would become the norm with Eli.
Chapter 16
Unspoken
Every time Leila stopped by, Eli silently thanked Luke for his poorly planned climbing date. Since that night, Leila had become a frequent visitor. It seemed to open up any barriers left between either one showing up at the other’s apartment unannounced. Eli was, of course, always mindful of when Leila and Luke would be together, and never tried to intrude.
Leila was very open about how things were going with Luke. She confided in him when they argued, and even when she had a great time with him. It was twisted, Eli was well aware, that a part of him enjoyed hearing about time when they did not get along, but surprisingly, when she told him about the good dates it also made him happy. In the darkest part of his mind, he hoped her relationship with Luke failed. He wanted her very much, but he wanted her to be happy too, and he had to admit that she was happy with Luke. For now.
Regardless, if he knew they were spending time together Eli made sure he avoided Leila’s neighborhood completely. Sometimes the temptation to step in was almost too strong to resist, and while Leila kept very little from him, there were some areas she did not discuss.
She had been dating Luke for almost two months. Eli was sure they had at the very least kissed by that point, but Leila had never mentioned it. It caused him physical pain to think they might be sleeping together, but he knew it was a possibility. The last thing he would want would be to give in to the temptation to see her and interrupt something like that. He shivered from thinking of it as he buttoned up his dress shirt.
With the last button secured, Eli slipped his suit jacket on and walked out to the living room for Leila’s approval. Surprisingly, he didn’t find her. He doubted she would step out without telling him, so he glanced around for any sign of her. Previous to meeting Leila, his apartment was often quiet. Leila, however, loved music, he had discovered, and she often turned on his stereo when she visited. He was sure she was nearby, but sultry bassanova music was doing a stellar job of hiding any sound she might be making.
Making an educated guess, Eli headed for the kitchen where he suspected she was making herself a snack. She ate a surprising amount for being such a petite woman. She took advantage her naturally high metabolism. Although, the running he had forced her to take up as a hobby had certainly had an effect, he realized as he entered the kitchen.
She had her back to him as she made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The music had apparently covered up his own steps. For a few precious moments he was free to watch the way her hips swayed to the music. Even more entertaining was the way her feet shuffled in what he knew was a perfect bossanova step.
It was a challenge not to slide his hands along her hips. He forced himself to settle with closing the distance between them and saying, “I had no idea you knew how to dance.”
Leila jumped in surprise, dropping the knife she was holding and spinning around in fright. When she saw it was only Eli she burst into embarrassed laughter. She swatted him gently in irritation. “You scared me!”
“Sorry,” Eli said.
She pushed him away and reached down for the butter knife. Then she was wiping up the peanut butter that had splattered along with the knife. Eli waited until she was finished before posing his question again. “For someone who frequently tells me she has no talents and is boring, you sure seem to have a surprising amount of secret abilities.”
“What are you talking about?” she said with a dismissive laugh. She quickly spread the jelly and smashed the two halves of her sandwich together. Eli reached across her and took both the peanut butter and jelly.
As he put them away, he asked, “Where did you learn to dance the bossanova?”
Leila flushed a bright red. “It was just a silly class I took in college.”
“You danced in college?” He was even more intrigued now.
“I took a semester of ballroom dancing,” she corrected, “for fun.”
“Hmm, I’ll have to remember that for future reference.”
She gave him a look that dared him to bring it up again. He would, and she knew it. She tossed her head in irritation at his stubbornness. Eli wasn’t fooled. She would no doubt claim that she was not a very good dancer, but he was quickly learning that whatever Leila set her mind to learn, she excelled at. She was a very smart and talented woman despite her claims to the contrary.
“What are you wearing?” Leila asked, sounding slightly sticky from too much peanut butter on her sandwich.
Eli had come out to get her opinion on his choice in clothing, but he hadn’t honestly expected her to object. He glanced down at his suit and green dress shirt. “What’s wrong with it?” he asked.
“I thought you were going to a luncheon, not your own wedding. Why are you wearing a white suit?” she asked with a wrinkled nose.
“I’m going to a spring garden luncheon. White or beige suits are perfectly acceptable, the standard, in fact.”
She wasn’t buying it. “With a dark green shirt and cufflinks?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Give you a velvet hat and some bling and you’d be a dead ringer for some kind of creepy pimp. Ana would kill me for letting you out of this apartment looking like that. Come on.”
Leila abandoned her sandwich and headed to Eli’s bedroom. He had little choice but to follow her. By the time he caught up with her Leila had found his walk in closet and was shuffling through his dress shirts in search of something she deemed more appropriate.
“I don’t know what you’re complaining about,” Eli said. “I have been told by several women that this shirt looks very nice on me.”
Pausing in her search, Leila looked back at him. “You look great in the shirt. It’s the perfect color for your eyes,” she admitted, “but not with that suit.”
“What suit should I wear it with?” he asked. “For future reference.”
She didn’t even have to think about it. “Your charcoal grey, single breasted suit with the emerald geometric tie.”
She turned away from him, leaving him to marvel that she knew his clothing so well. Her fingers flipped through several more shirts before removing one and holding it up. The pale lavender shirt was pure cotton, one he very rarely wore. His skepticism must have shown, but Leila was not backing down. She held the shirt out with a demand for him to put it on. He took the shirt while she dove back into the closet in search of a tie.
Eli could admit that Leila had never been so bossy with him before. He found it both delightful and annoying. Regardless, he knew he would do just as he asked, so he laid his jacket aside and started unbuttoning the offending green shirt. It was set back on its original hanger and Eli retrieved the purple one. He stared at it, not quite ready to put it on. He couldn’t remember where he had gotten the shirt, or even why. The color was too feminine for his taste, but he supposed Leila was probably right.
He was sliding his arm into the first sleeve when Leila reappeared with a silk tie slightly darker than the shirt. It wasn’t the sight of more purple that halted him, it was the expression on her face. It wasn’t until that moment that Eli began to believe Leila was harboring unspoken feelings for him.
Eyes wide, she drank in the sigh
t of his bare chest. He could almost feel their caress. The strength it took not to shiver with pleasure as she watched him was tremendous. Not grabbing hold of her right then and confessing everything should have been enough to grant him sainthood. He wanted her so badly, and he finally understood that she wanted him, too.
But she wouldn’t let herself give in to what she thought was a fantasy.
And he refused to admit his own desires.
Neither of those facts stopped Eli from reveling in the moment. He slipped his other arm into the shirt, but didn’t button it quite yet. Eli had promised himself, and others, that he would do nothing to interfere with Leila’s love life. In that moment, he gave himself the leeway that if she were to initiate a change between them, there was no way he was holding back.
Pushing the odds in his direction, Eli took a step closer to her. His skin hummed being so close to her body. The blood racing through his veins was about to boil over. “I’m not sure about this shirt,” he said quietly.
Leila gulped. Her eyes slid up his chest to meet his. The heat behind her gaze nearly broke Eli. The shake of her head was slow. “No, it’s perfect.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, and Eli realized she had moved closer to him as strands of her long hair brushed against his chest. “I’m sure.”
Her eyes dropped, and for a frightening moment Eli was sure she was going to withdraw and break the moment. When he felt her fingers brush against his skin, an indescribable feeling spread through his body. His hands were reaching for her, about to take hold of her and refuse to let her go—never mind Luke—when he felt the slightest tugging on the fabric of his shirt.
Confusion set in when he realized Leila was buttoning his shirt for him. His mind raced to determine whether she was trying to cover him up, or if the slow movement of her fingers was meant to entice him, give her a reason to touch him. She finished with the last button before he could figure it out. Panic gripped Eli when her hands left him entirely. Leila had turned away, but he reached out for her, unwilling to let her slip away from him. His hand hooked around her waist as she turned around with the tie in hand.
She froze. The tie quivered in her hands. When Eli placed his other hand on her hip, the trembling in her hands only got worse. Every thought in his mind was begging him to pull her closer. He wanted to quiet her hesitation with his love. It was right there in her eyes. She wanted him to do it. But the equal amount of pure fear held him back. She was poised between running and giving in. He couldn’t bear the thought of her running from him, but couldn’t let go of her either. His hand stayed in place on the perfect curve of her hip as he begged her to make the first move.
Slowly, Leila’s hand rose. Her breathing was forcibly calm as she draped the tie around his neck. Eli’s muscles bunched with delicious anticipation as her fingers turned his collar up and guided the tie into place. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from groaning when her hands worked their way down the tie, adjusting the length. His fingers dug into her flesh as she carefully tied the tie and slid it into place. Every movement drew her closer to him. By the time she was finished their bodies were pressed together. Both were breathing hard, locked in an embrace that neither one was willing to deepen or pull back from. Eli was more clothed than when they had started, but he felt utterly bare in her arms.
“Leila,” he whispered.
Something in his voice registered with her, scared her. She took a step back, but only a small one. Her hands which had been pressed against his chest a moment before, now brushed nonexistent lint from his shirt front. “There,” she said, sounding very small, “now you’re dressed for a garden party.”
“Thank you,” Eli said. She tried to step back again, but Eli held tight. “Come with me.”
Leila’s mouth opened. The words she wanted to utter refused to slip past her lips.
“Come with me,” he asked again.
“No,” Leila said suddenly. She pulled out of his arms and spun away from him. “I have to meet Luke later.”
Eli wanted to push her. Just having her out of arms reach was killing him. Eli was sure that if he pressed her to come with him she would give in. The words were on the tip of his tongue. Knowing the cost of manipulating his precious Leila would never let him voice a single word of it.
“Of course,” Eli said, defeated.
Picking his suit coat up, he shrugged into it efficiently and quickly. He hated the idea of leaving her, but there was no way he could be in this room with her for another five seconds without breaking all his rules. Eli stalked over to Leila. Her back was still turned to him. Hugging her was out of the question. He would never let her go. Leaving without touching her was out of the question as well. Eli leaned over her shoulder and pressed his lips against her cheek. “Stay as long as you want,” he whispered before walking away.
Chapter 17
Wanted
After the botched rock climbing trip, Luke made a concerted effort to always check with Leila before choosing anything he thought might make her nervous. When he first mentioned horseback riding, visions of quiet rides through a park had entered her mind. She was thrilled, especially since she had grown up riding horses at her aunt’s home in the country. It turned out that hadn’t quite been what Luke had in mind.
The jump was not even a foot high, but when Leila rode she preferred to keep the animal’s hooves firmly on the ground. She stared at the bar hovering above the dirt. Her hand patted the dappled grey she was perched atop. It was a mild mannered mare, which made Leila feel better. She had spent the past hour riding the mare around the practice ring and felt very comfortable. The horse wasn’t the problem.
“Are you ready?” Becca, the girl holding the lead, asked. She couldn’t have been more than fourteen years old. Leila felt like a child being nervous about something so trivial. She refused to admit she was scared, so she smiled as she nodded to the teenager.
“Great. Use your heels to signal Starburst for the jump.”
“Okay,” Leila agreed.
The girl clucked to the horse and they started moving. Surprisingly, the steady gait of the horse settled Leila’s nerves. The breeze rolling through the park brought the scent of horse and leather to her nose, and with it the memories of summers spent in the sun with friends. Horses and grass were the scents of happiness for Leila.
“We’re coming up to the jump,” Becca warned her.
It seemed natural to Leila for her knees to tighten against the mare’s body, lifting and shifting her weight. She leaned into the minimal jump along with the horse and settled back into her seat when they landed. It was so short, and took barely any effort. The calm inspired by riding the horse increased. Leila rolled along with Starburst’s steps. They continued on to the next jump, which was slightly higher than the first. Leila squeezed the horse, leaned forward and grinned as they cleared the next jump. When she thought each higher jump would only make her more anxious, she was pleasantly surprise to realize the opposite was true. She had cleared a two foot high jump before Becca called for Starburst to halt.
“You did great, Leila!” Becca gushed. “See, there wasn’t anything for you to be afraid of. You’re a natural jumper.”
“Thanks. It was easier than I expected it to be.” Leila certainly wasn’t saying she intended to take up show jumping any time soon, but she had enjoyed herself.
“Now,” Becca said, “let’s see how your boyfriend does.
Usually, Luke’s adventures stemmed from his own interests, activities he had been participating in for years. This was the first time they were trying something they were both familiar with, but neither one had actually tried this aspect of horse riding before. Leila was interested to see how Luke would react if he didn’t manage to conquer show jumping on the first try.
The young man leading Luke’s horse, also a teenager, reminded Luke of the instructions for guiding the horse to the jump and signaling when to take off. In reality,
the horses were most likely so practiced at the course they could make a perfect run riderless. Luke, however, listened intently to each instruction. Leila covered up a chuckle at his serious expression.
Luke and his chestnut mare eased into a canter and approached the first jump. She could tell even from a distance that Luke had mistimed his signal. He tried to spur the horse to jump too early. Luckily the steady mare ignored him and jumped when she was ready. Luke was not prepared.
It was such a small jump there was no real danger of his falling, but he was jostled on the landing and had to correct his posture once they were back on the ground. Every time, Luke tried to jump too early as his eagerness pushed ahead of logic. An early jump led to a rough landing. It put them off rhythm for several steps after each jump.
“Is your boyfriend the competitive type?” Becca asked.
Leila considered the question. Energetic and adrenaline fueled, definitely. Competitive? They had never actually competed at anything, but Leila could make an educated guess. “I’m sure he is.”
“That sucks for you.”
Leila looked down at the girl. “Why?”
The “you just asked the most obvious question” expression was one Leila had failed to master as a teenager. Not so for Becca. It was plastered across her face. “Hello, because you’re obviously way better at this than him. I bet he’s going to whine about this forever.”
At the time, Leila passed off her words as juvenile, but she soon realized how right Becca had been. Luke didn’t exactly whine about his failure to mastering jumping, but his copious comments on how good she did made it very clear that he was having a hard time dealing with being shown up by his girlfriend. There was a small amount of satisfaction his behavior inspired, but mostly she felt bad for making him uncomfortable. Leila wouldn’t have purposely done worse to appease his ego. She was competitive as well, in her own way. She was, however, the type of person who thought everyone should get a prize for competing no matter how badly they did.
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