That opinion did falter a bit after the dozenth mention of how easily she picked up jumping as they ate lunch. At first, she did what she usually did in a situation like that. She played down her accomplishment. After a while, she got tired of Luke’s veiled whining and said that riding had been her favorite pastime on her aunt’s ranch and jumping was merely an extension of that.
Her frank words were enough to stifle Luke’s wounded pride. He nodded, and moved on to a new topic. Leila was thankful for the change. The rest of their lunch passed pleasantly. The only downside after that was Luke telling Leila that he would be going out of town again. It was only for a few days, but the news worried Leila.
As they walked from the bistro they’d had lunch at and back toward the stables, Leila knew her first reaction shouldn’t have been worry, because her worry wasn’t for his safety while traveling. For just over a week, Leila had been admittedly using Luke as a distraction from Eli. Escaping him entirely since … Leila shook away the memory of Eli standing in front of her without his shirt, his runner’s body begging for her touch. She tried to forget how having his hands on her hips had electrified her whole body. Most of all, what had troubled her sleep since that day, she wanted desperately to get rid the feel of his lips pressed roughly against her cheek.
A shiver ran through Leila’s body in spite of the warm summer day. She glanced up, searching for something to take her mind off Eli. As luck would have it, two women jogged past her and Luke at that moment. The sight of them only made it more difficult to escape her thoughts. Leila had not called Eli or stopped by his apartment all week, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t seen him.
Every morning, Eli met her at Holstein Park to run. Once it had been her favorite time of the day, but lately their time together had been quiet and strained. She walked the two blocks to where they met every morning fearing and also hoping that he wouldn’t be there. It was impossible for her to say which feeling was the strongest. What had really been torture was that even though Eli carried on as if nothing had happened, he had yet to kiss or even hug her again. That, Leila feared, was gone forever.
She sighed and looked away from the runners. Her gaze landed on the familiar sight of the Japanese tea house that had recently become her one of her favorite spots in town. She was so startled she stopped. She hadn’t realized they were so close. For a very brief moment, she wished she had remembered sooner and chosen it for lunch, but the twisting of her stomach that sharing the special place with anyone other than Eli threw the idea away.
“Leila?” Luke asked. “Something wrong?”
Feeling foolish, she tried to wave him off. “No, sorry. I’m fine. I just … I didn’t realize we were so close to this place.” Luke’s expression became confused. Leila gestured at the tea house. “Have you ever been here?”
“No. I’m not much for tea,” Luke responded, “but I’m guessing you are?”
“Yes, actually, and this place makes the best.”
Luke looked around the street. What he was searching for, Leila had no idea, but when he turned back to her he seemed perplexed. “How did you find this place? It’s a bit out of your comfort zone.”
The hint of irritation she felt at his assumption was quickly beaten down by the truth of it. “A friend introduced me to it. We have lunch here every once in a while.”
Every week actually. What day depended on Eli’s schedule, but whenever he ended up near her office he always stopped by and invited her to the tea house. The disappointed she often felt when he didn’t show up made many lunches a rather dismal experience.
“Why is it,” Luke asked as he pulled Leila into his arms, “that I keep hearing about these mysterious friends of yours, but I’ve yet to meet any of them. I’m beginning to think you’re making them up.”
Leila tried to smile, tried to laugh off his teasing, but she couldn’t. His assumption that she had multiple friends he had yet to meet pricked at her sense of honesty. There were no friends, there was only Eli. And aside from mentioning that he had offered Leila an extra symphony ticket, his name had never come up again. Any other mention of him was a vague reference to a friend she went out with.
“Are you hiding your friends from me?” Luke teased.
It wasn’t his question that drained every last bit of color from her face, it was the melodic ring of the tea house door hitting the wind chime as it was pushed open by Eli Walsh. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments before Eli broke contact and directed his gaze at Luke. They had never met, but it obviously wasn’t hard for him to guess who she was with.
Leila’s eyes widened as Eli approached Luke. She squeaked something incoherent as Eli extended his hand. “You must be Luke,” he said. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
He appeared casual and friendly, but Leila knew that slight tightening of his jaw gave away his true discomfort at seeing her. The fact that he didn’t even say hello to her before turning to Luke spoke volumes.
Luke took the offered hand, but was baffled at the intrusion. “I’m sorry, you are …?”
“I apologize. I’ve heard so much about you I feel like I already know you,” Eli said. “I’m Eli Walsh, a friend of Leila’s.”
After mulling over the name again, Luke remembered. “The symphony. You’re the one that gave Leila that extra ticket to the symphony.”
Eli tactfully withdrew his hand from Luke’s. His lips pressed together before saying, “Yes, I’m the one who took Leila to the symphony.”
“Huh.” The sudden clip to his voice put Leila on edge. “Funny running into you, Eli, we were just talking about how Leila’s friends all seem to be ghosts. And yet here you are. Not a ghost at all.”
Eli smiled, but it wasn’t very warm. “Quite the opposite,” he said.
Leila wasn’t entirely sure of what he meant by that comment, but she knew the conversation was about to take a nose dive. She wanted to run. That would hardly make anything better, though, so she opted to take control of the situation instead.
“Eli, what brings you to this part of town?” She wanted very much to slip away from him, but she also wanted an honest answer. It was absurd that she should care if Eli had been having lunch at the tea house with someone else, or even alone. She had no claim to the place, or to Eli’s time. Beneath her fear that the awkward conversation would turn south, she was hurt that he would visit the tea house without her.
Her question brought the first genuine smile to Eli’s lips. His hand reached into the small, elegant paper bag Leila hadn’t noticed he was holding until that moment and pulled out a canister of tea. “I was out of genmaicha. You drank the last of it and didn’t tell me,” he chided.
“I’m sorry, I forgot to mention it,” Leila said before thinking of how Luke might take Eli’s insinuation. The tightening of his hand on hers was a good indicator that he realized it meant Leila spent time in Eli’s apartment. Enough time that she felt comfortable making herself tea without mentioning it to Eli. Her heart rate spiked along with her desire to run.
Eli seemed unaffected by the exchange. “Well, now I’ll have some the next time you want a cup.”
“Great,” she said quietly, even though she very much appreciated his thoughtfulness.
The air between them grew stale within seconds of no one speaking. Rooted to the spot by a whole host of conflicting emotions, Leila felt powerless to do anything. Luke seemed unwilling to let her off the hook. Eli was the only one still smiling. In the end, it was him who ended the stalemate.
“You two look to be off to some kind of equestrian lesson, judging by Leila’s breeches and boots,” Eli said, “so I won’t take up any more of your time.” He nodded to Luke, saying, “It was nice to finally meet you.”
A none-too-friendly, “Likewise,” was Luke’s response.
“Leila, I’ll see you in the morning,” Eli said, but the tone of his voice phrased it more as a question, to which Leila nodded mutely. Eli smiled and gathered her up
in a quick, modest hug. The kiss she was half expecting—wanting for and dreading at the same time—didn’t come. Eli pulled back then, and continued a few yards away to his car. Luke watched him drive away every bit as intently as Leila did. The second he disappeared from sight Luke spun her to face him.
“That’s Eli?” he demanded.
“Yes,” Leila said timidly.
Luke’s body tightened. His arms folded across his chest, dropping her hand in the process. “When you said he was an old friend from work, I thought you meant Eli was old!”
She couldn’t blame him for thinking that. She could, however, blame herself for expecting he had made that assumption and not doing anything to correct it.
“Let me guess, Eli is the one who introduced you to this place. Is he the one you have lunch here with?”
“Yes, but …”
“But what?”
Leila’s jaw clenched together at his interruption. “Eli is a friend. That’s it.”
That mantra had been running on a loop in her head for the past week. It hadn’t helped her much, but she hoped the effect on Luke would be better. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t.
“How long have you known Eli?”
“A few months,” Leila admitted, “but he and Ana have been friends for years. She introduced us. He’s just a friend.”
“I thought you said you worked with him.”
Leila shook her head. “I met him through work. Eli is a psychiatrist.”
“Is he yours?” Luke asked, disgust etched into his face. Whether it was thanks to the assumption that Leila needed a shrink, or the however unlikely thought of their relationship being an ethical breech, Leila wasn’t sure. She didn’t particularly appreciate either one.
“No, he’s not my shrink,” she answered.
“What did he mean by seeing you in the morning then?”
Leila blanched, but she didn’t lie. “We run together most mornings through Holstein Park.”
Luke was always bursting with emotion, whether it was excitement or pleasure. She loved how full of life he was. The anger that blossomed on his cheeks was new and shocking. She didn’t like it at all, and hated that she had inspired it.
His fingers shot through his hair, almost tugging at it. “You didn’t think I’d like to know that you spend your free time hanging out with another guy?” Luke asked. The anger in his voice made it hard and cutting.
“Luke, I knew Eli before I ever met you,” she argued. Sure, it was only by about a week, but it still counted. “I didn’t mention it at first because I had no idea how things would go between us and there didn’t seem to be any reason because I knew there was nothing between Eli and I. After a while, well, I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression. Eli is a friend. We hang out sometimes and run together. I didn’t want you to assume there was anything else between us and get upset like you are now.”
“Why isn’t there anything between you and Eli?”
Leila was now the one taking up a combative stance. As slender and petite as she was, she doubted she made a very threatening figure, but she didn’t care. “What exactly do you mean by that?”
“I mean, guys aren’t friends with women. Ever. If this Eli guy is such a great friend, why aren’t you dating him?” Luke asked.
“Because I’m not!” Leila spluttered. She had no intention of standing on the street all day arguing about Eli, or anything else for that matter.
“Is he gay?”
A sudden remembrance of Eli’s muscles tightening at her touch, the soft moan that had escaped his lips jumped into her mind. “No,” she said adamantly, “he is definitely not gay.”
“Married?”
This was getting ridiculous. Leila scoffed. “Of course not.”
Luke threw his hands up. “Then why?”
“It’s just … we’re friends …” Leila faltered as she really considered the question. In her deepest fantasies she would lie in Eli’s arms. But those were only bits of little girl foolishness she never quite outgrew. She knew the answer. “Because I’m not Eli’s type,” she admitted.
Luke reacted to the sadness in her voice. His bunched up shoulders relaxed along with his anger. “What is Eli’s type, exactly?”
Everything Leila wasn’t. But she didn’t say that. She said, “Sophisticated, cultured, confident, gorgeous … the type of girl that feels at home in ball gowns and garden parties.”
“And you’re not that girl?” Luke asked.
Leila shook her head. “And I wouldn’t want to be.”
Part of her meant the words. Leila knew she would never want to be in the spotlight, never want to be the gracious host to dozens of people she didn’t know or like just for the sake of showing off her beautiful home or designer clothes. Despite her shortcomings in the confidence department, Leila liked who she was, smart and pretty and a little bit odd. But that was only part of her. The rest wanted … not to be able to change into the girl she imagined Eli wanted, but just be the girl he wanted—the girl she was, no changing required.
Breaking out of her own thoughts, Leila folded her arms around her body and looked at Luke. She was glad to see that much of his anger had left, but there was still hesitation in his stance. “Why didn’t you tell me about Eli?”
“I didn’t want you to be jealous.” It was the honest truth, mostly. She also didn’t want to share Eli with anyone even in such a small way as having to admit her friendship with him. She wanted him to be hers alone. She didn’t want to answer questions about Eli or be quizzed about what she did with him.
Leila realized her answer didn’t do anything to turn away Luke’s hurt feelings. Trying again, she said, “Even though I know there’s no reason for you to be jealous, I get why me hanging out with him would bother you. If the table was turned, I’d feel the same way. I just didn’t want anything to ruin the fun we have together.”
“Will you stop seeing him then?” Luke asked.
“No,” she said without having to think about her answer. The very idea of not having Eli made her chest tighten to the point of pain. Tears pricked at her eyes as she imagined not being able to talk to him and drink tea as she curled up on his couch and watched Frank Sinatra in black and white.
The tension in Luke’s body returned at her answer. “Why not? If you understand why it would upset me, why wouldn’t you stop seeing him?”
“Because he’s my friend.” Leila shrugged, having no other answer, and refusing to budge.
“You’re not going to stop seeing him?” he asked in surprise.
“Luke,” she said, “I’m not like you. I don’t have dozens of friends. I have a few very close friends, and I would never abandon any of them. If it were Eli asking me to turn my back on you, I wouldn’t do that either.”
“But, Leila …”
She shook her head firmly. “No.”
She would not give Eli up. A week of only seeing him to run was painful enough. Never seeing him again, she couldn’t handle that. In fact, she made a promise to herself to end the awkwardness between them before it got any worse.
“Do you realize how bizarre this is? How many other guys would be okay with their girlfriend hanging out with another guy when they weren’t around?” Luke argued, unaware of her internal conversation.
Leila fully understood how odd her stance was. She wasn’t going to change her mind, though. “Eli is my friend, and nothing more. He’s important to me. I know I’m asking a lot, but if you can’t deal with me having a male friend, you need to tell me right now.”
“Have you slept with him?”
Her laugh caught him off guard. “Are you serious?” she asked between laughs. “No, I haven’t slept with him. I told you, we’re just friends.”
“Well,” Luke defended, “I needed to know if it was a with benefits kind of friendship.”
“I don’t do friends with benefits,” Leila said seriously. “With me it’s either al
l or nothing, no in between.”
The start of a smile made an appearance on Luke’s face as one corner of his mouth turned up. “Good to know.”
The two stood in the middle of the sidewalk. The early summer sun was not yet hot, but it was warm enough to make Leila not want to stay there much longer. She didn’t want to make the first move, though. She knew she had dumped a lot on Luke, and very unexpectedly. Forcing him to decide his reaction would likely only guarantee a bad one. So Leila made herself wait patiently as Luke mulled over meeting Eli and their entire conversation.
A bead of sweat rolled down her back before Luke finally made a move. He slid his arm around Leila’s waist. A gentle push started them back on the path toward Luke’s car. His hold on her was not as relaxed as is usually was, but Leila had no trouble understanding why. She was only grateful he hadn’t walked away without her.
“So, exactly how many other friends like Eli do you have?” Luke asked.
“Guy friends?” Leila wondered if Vance, Leo, and Guy counted.
“Secret friends,” he clarified.
Leila chuckled. “Oh. Well, you already know Ana, so … zero.”
“Ana and Eli, that’s a pretty short list.”
Knowing that he wasn’t poking fun at her, she said, “That’s why I hold onto my friends so tightly. I don’t have many of them.”
“You could.”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
To be honest, she didn’t want loads of friends. Mindlessly texting or going out to clubs with other girls didn’t have much of an appeal to her. Leila would rather have a few close friends that understood her well enough to know who she really was.
“So,” Luke said, pulling her back to the conversation, “all the times you’ve told me you were doing something with a friend—like that highbrow club, or lunch, or whatever that play was last week—those were all with Eli …”
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