That eased Eli’s clenched hands somewhat. It had other effects as well.
“… but that’s no excuse. You were perfectly capable of buttoning your own shirt.” Leila’s eyes dropped. “You tried to tell me, make me back off, but I didn’t listen.”
“What?” Eli was baffled by her words. When had he tried to stop her? All he had done was encourage her, beg her to forget everything but him.
“When I turned back around with your tie, you started to push me away. You should have. You tried to stop me again, but I ignored it, or didn’t understand. I know why you left after I said I couldn’t go with you to the garden party. I can’t imagine what you thought of me after acting so … forward and then turning my back on you. I felt horrible after you left.”
The red in Leila’s face had been replaced by glassy eyes. Eli ached for her sadness. It was so completely undeserved. A battle between keeping his distance so Leila could figure out what she wanted from him and giving in to his own desires raged in his heart. Before one could overpower the other, Leila continued.
“This week has been absolutely miserable for me. I half expected to walked down to the park the next day and find it deserted.” Leila hiccupped as she tried to suppress a sob. “Eli, I can’t stand the thought of you not being there every morning. Can we please just forget about last weekend and go back to how things were before?”
Eli’s lips parted, but he couldn’t find the words he needed. No, he didn’t want to go back. He wanted to see that look of pure desire in Leila’s eyes again. The feel of her hands on his skin was addictive. But Eli knew that if he didn’t grant Leila her request, everything might change between them. The distance they had felt the past week would only widen, until even the running stopped. It was too big of a risk to take. Right? Eli knew he should give her space and time, but she was so close to admitting she wanted him as more than a friend. Would a nudge in the right direction really be so bad?
Looking straight at her, intent on telling her he didn’t want to go back, Eli stopped when he saw the desperation in her eyes. Nothing he said was going to convince her that her guilt has unfounded. If he tried, he might lose her. Eli sighed.
“Of course, Leila.”
Her breath shuddered back into her body with relief.
“But …”
She choked up, drawing her arms around herself.
“But,” Eli said more gently, taking her hand in his, “you have to understand that I was never upset with you. I left because I thought I was making you uncomfortable. I wasn’t trying to push you away. I never meant to make you feel bad.”
Leila shook her head. She looked ready to argue, but Eli wouldn’t allow it. He had no intention of listening to her interpret his every move in the wrong way, but he also wouldn’t let himself correct her like he wanted to. Drawing on his education, he redirected.
“What brought all this up?” Eli asked. “You’ve apparently been holding everything in for a week. Why did you bring it up now?”
Taking the bait, Leila switched gears. Her shoulders drooped. “Luke asked me to stop seeing you.”
Eli nodded thoughtfully. That was what he had expected her to say. “What did you tell him?”
The look on Leila’s face made him smile. There was such disbelief in her eyes. “I told him no, of course.”
Inwardly, Eli was dancing in pure joy. On the outside he merely squeezed her hand appreciatively.
“Eli,” she said, “I love being around you. I care about you. I’m not going to give you up any time soon, but Luke’s request made me realize how much I wanted to fix things with you. I couldn’t bear to go another week without calling you or spending time with you.”
“You’re just using me for my apartment,” Eli teased, an attempt to lighten the mood.
Leila smiled. “True, but you being there makes it even better.” Her smile lasted a moment longer before slipping again. “Eli, I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”
As a friend. His body shrunk in on itself. As a friend.
When would Leila realize how much he loved her? He wondered how long she could keep convincing herself that he could never want her.
“Eli, are we okay?” Leila asked timidly.
His hand closed around hers more tightly. When he pulled her against his chest, she didn’t resist. Eli cradled her in his arms, wanting so much more. “Of course we’re okay, Leila.”
She pulled against him more tightly. For too brief of a time, Eli relished her embrace. When she pulled back she was smiling. He knew he had missed her very much over the past week, but seeing her smile made it so much more apparent. How had he survived not seeing her smile or hearing her laugh for so long?
“Eli,” Leila said, “would you think it was totally pathetic if I told you that you’re my best friend?”
Eli grinned. “Not at all. You’re my best friend, too.”
“Really?” she asked, smiling. “What about Vance?”
“Oh, I’d choose you over Vance any day,” Eli said. And he meant it.
Chapter 19
The Most Average Request
Leila opened her apartment door with a nervous smile. The way Luke pulled her into his arms and planted a kiss on her upturned lips did little to ease her anxiety. She invited him in regardless, and led him to the living room where she had nearly every flat surface covered with paper, stencils, pens, and decorative scissors. She watched as Luke’s cheerful expression gave way to confusion.
“Uh, what is all this stuff?”
“Well,” Leila said, her hands clasped together in front of her, “you said something the other day about how you’re always choosing our activities.”
“Because you never suggest anything.”
Leila nodded, admitting he was right. “Truthfully, it’s because you have all these crazy, adventurous hobbies, and I just don’t.”
The way Luke eyed her made it clear he wasn’t convinced.
“Not that I don’t have any hobbies, they just aren’t all that exciting.” Her hands clutched together even tighter. When she had mentioned the conversation to Eli, he had made the suggestion that she try to get Luke interested in her hobbies. “But I do have hobbies, and one of them is scrapbooking.”
Luke scanned the room with a new interest. “That’s what all the paper and stuff is for?”
Nodding, she guided him over to the couch and handed him the large binder she had most recently been working on. The previous weekend she had flown home to Michigan for her brother’s wedding anniversary party. They had hit ten years and had a beautiful dinner party at the local country club to celebrate. Leila had taken dozens of pictures and promised her sister-in-law, Denise, that she would compile them into a scrapbook for her. It had turned out to be a bigger project than she had anticipated, which was another reason she had decided to follow Eli’s advice.
She watched as Luke flipped through the completed scrapbook pages. “Did you take all these pictures?” he asked.
Of course he would focus in on the pictures, but the admiration in his voice made Leila smile. “Yeah. They’re just snapshots, nothing like what you could do.”
“They’re great, Leila. What kind of camera do you have?”
She shrugged. “It’s a Nikon, but I can’t remember what kind. My brother, Caleb, bought it for me a few years ago.”
The gentle shake of Luke’s head made her smile. There were a few of his hobbies that she had come to really enjoy, like Frisbee golf, but as hard as he tried to get her to take an interest in photography all she cared about was snapping a few cute pictures of friends and family. She still couldn’t remember what the F-stop was, and which ISO was best for outdoors.
Luke set the scrapbook on the covered table and looked expectantly at Leila. “So, what did you want to do today?”
“This,” she said, gesturing at the papers and photos.
“You want me to help you make a scrapbook?” His scrunched up nos
e said that wasn’t what he had been expecting.
He was probably trying to come up with a handful of alternatives he thought might entice Leila out of her apartment, but she was determined to stand firm. They were close to hitting four months since their first date and it had been a rush of new experiences. Eventually, even Luke was going to run out of fun and crazy ways to bring some excitement to her average life. He had asked her to stop waiting to find out whether their relationship was going to work out and find out for herself. That was harder to do than Leila expected, but she had spent the last month trying. And part of that effort was to see if Luke could handle spending time together when there was no adrenaline or danger involved.
“I could use some help with this,” Leila said. “I’m going home again in a few weeks and I want to have it finished by then so I can give it to Caleb and Denise. It’ll probably be the last time I go home until Christmas.”
Luke’s eyes drifted to the window before answering. The heat of July and the crystal clear skies made it perfect for some outdoor adventure, Leila was sure, but she smiled when he turned back to her.
“I’ve never made a scrapbook before, so this should be interesting. If fact, I’m pretty sure I haven’t pasted anything together in years, and why do these scissors look weird?” he asked as he held up a pair of scalloped scissors.
Taking them from him, Leila demonstrated their use by cutting a piece of scrap paper. The pretty scalloped pattern it created made Luke nod. “That’s neat. I didn’t know they made scissors like that.”
“They make all kinds,” she said as she pointed to a box with half a dozen pairs of decorative scissors in it.
It took a few minutes to acquaint Luke with her various supplies. The variety of patterned papers weren’t too hard to explain, but the sticky glue dots she preferred were a surprise for him, as were the felt flowers and colored brads. The look on his face was probably the same one Leila had worn when he tried to explain what Aperture Priority mode was. But after giving him some instruction on how to glue the borders around each photo he looked a bit more comfortable and got to work.
“So what are you going back to Michigan for so soon?” he asked a few minutes later. “I thought you didn’t go home very often.”
“Normally, I don’t,” Leila said, “but this year was different. Caleb’s ten year anniversary was a special occasion. I don’t usually fly home for things like that. Ten years is something to celebrate. This next trip is one I make every year. It’s my mom’s birthday.”
Luke’s head tilted to one side. He looked unsure, but asked, “Didn’t your mom pass away?”
“When I was sixteen.” She secured a purple and white felt pansy above the picture of Caleb and Denise’s beautiful cake that featured the same delicate flowers. “When Mom died, Dad took it pretty hard. Her birthday is still a tough day for him to get through. Caleb and I both make sure we spend the day with him no matter what else is going on.”
The glue dots Luke was fumbling with were abandoned. He leaned closer to Leila and slid his arm around her shoulder. “How did your mom die?”
“It was a car accident. The car in front of her had a tire blow out on the freeway. They were all going so fast there was nothing anyone could do. The car spun out of control, hit my mom’s car, and the cars behind them couldn’t stop in time.”
Leila shook her head at the memory of being called to the principal’s office. A decade later, and remembering walking in and finding an officer waiting for her alongside Mr. Menard still brought tears to her eyes. She blinked rapidly to keep them away, but a few slipped free. She brushed them away quickly, but the hurt lingered.
“It was only a few days before her birthday. It was hard for everyone, but she and my dad were so in love, best friends. We were worried for a while that he wouldn’t be able to go on without her.” Leila sniffed and wiped her eyes. “He’s so much better now—especially now that he has his grandkids to spoil—but her birthday always brings back that worry. Plus Caleb and I still miss her, too.”
“Of course you do,” Luke said as he stroked her back. “I can’t imagine losing one of my parents, even now as an adult. Losing one as a kid … I don’t know how I would deal with that.”
Leila was glad that Luke still had both his parents. She had yet to meet them since they had retired to Florida and rarely made it back to Chicago, but Luke talked to them often and visited them whenever he was in the area. There was a small pang of jealousy when Leila imagined him sitting with both of them, not burdened by loss. She knew he was sympathetic to her, but she also knew it wasn’t the same.
Oddly, thoughts of Eli crept into her mind as they went back to work on the pictures. It seemed like forever ago that Eli had strung the pearls around her neck then balked at telling her a single thing about his mother. He had never brought her up again, and neither had Leila. Although, that had much more to do with her respect for his privacy than any lack of curiosity.
Her mind wandered through the possibilities of why Eli would so carefully safeguard his mother’s pearls, yet not speak to her. She refused to believe he was one of those ungrateful children who turned his back on an aging parent because he saw her as a hassle not worth dealing with. That simply wasn’t Eli. There was something deeper to his supposed abandonment.
Eli had forgiven Leila for so much, and brushed off many others. He was not the kind of person to hold a person’s flaws against them. Whatever had happened between him and his mother, it was big enough that even Eli wasn’t willing to forgive her. Her mind wandered down a multitude of paths as she pasted and cut. Some were rather dark, and she hoped very much that those were not even close to the truth. She also wondered if she would ever have the chance to find out.
The past month with Eli had been wonderful. Despite his arguing that she had done nothing wrong that day, he had stuck to his promise not to bring it up again. She had been so scared that their relationship would change, all because she had given in to her fantasies for a few brief moments. Dreams of Eli still haunted her nightly, but when she was with him she forced those kinds of thoughts away. They were friends again. Not even another chance to run her hands along Eli’s warm flesh could make her risk that. So she settled for curling up on his couch and drinking Japanese tea as they watched movies, or laughing and joking on poker night until her sides ached. It was almost perfect.
“Luke, could you hand me the crinkle scissors?” she asked when she noticed they weren’t next to her anymore.
The silence of the room was only punctuated by the sound of heavy breathing. Leila looked up to find Luke asleep on her couch, his scissors and glue dots abandoned. A flash of irritation snuck into her mind until she saw the clock on the mantle and realized she had been quietly working for hours. She had been so absorbed in her work and thoughts it was no wonder he had fallen asleep.
Leila quickly finished up the page she had been working on and set the book aside. She slid over next to Luke, momentarily captivated by the rise and fall of his chest. She didn’t think she had ever seen him so restful. The way he was sprawled on the couch made her smile. He looked comfortable, but Leila risked disturbing his peace by lying down next to him. She closed her eyes when his arms automatically folded around her.
She wasn’t sure how long she laid in his arms, enjoying his warmth, before he began to stir. The shadows had lengthened across the floor when he yawned and blinked away the remnants of sleep. His eyes opened slowly, at first confused before remembering where he was. When he saw Leila his lips pulled into a smile.
“Hmm, I like waking up with you next to me.” He kissed her lips, lightly at first, and then more deeply.
A familiar sense of excitement began to build in Leila’s body. She loved how gentle his hands were as they moved across her body. One hand slid up her back to her hair—trailing miniature lightning storms in its wake—while the other hand slid down to the curve of her hip. He pulled her against him, sending of jolt of fire throu
gh her. Her lips left his and wandered down his neck. Luke’s arm tightened around her. His desire washed against her. She wanted him too, but a part of her refused to give in just yet.
Luke’s fingers slipped under her shirt and began making their way up her abdomen, making Leila shiver with pleasure. Her uncertainty weakened with every inch. By the time his hands had covered half the distance her eyes were closed so she could focus solely on the heat his touch inspired. Gently, he pushed her back and held her. When his lips pressed against her belly she gasped. Her muscles contracted and her hands pressed against his back, begging him to kiss her again.
His lips caressed her skin again, and once more … before Leila’s cell phone started ringing. The sound startled her so much she nearly tumbled off the couch. Luke’s strong grip kept her from falling, or from reaching her phone.
“Just leave it,” he said.
She was tempted, so very tempted. But the memory of Ana rushing off from work earlier that day—which was almost unheard of for her—claiming she had a doctor’s appointment was enough to wrestle her out of Luke’s oh-so-enticing embrace. She stumbled off of him in a rush to get to her phone. “It might be Ana,” she said hurriedly. “I think she may be sick.”
She could hear Luke’s frustrated groan, but if there was really something wrong with Ana and she needed a friend, that was more important. Her index finger slid across the screen on reflex as she whispered another apology to Luke.
“Ana,” Leila said in a rush, “is everything okay?”
The silence on the line made her nervous. “Uh, this isn’t Ana, but maybe you should tell me what’s going on,” Eli responded.
A smile sprang to her lips at the sound of his voice, but it was quickly replaced by worry. “Hey, Eli.”
The annoyed expression that settled on Luke’s face when he heard Eli’s name was impossible to miss. Hand covering the receiver, Leila apologized again. She cringed when he stood up and walked over to the big picture window, away from her.
Date Shark Page 19
