Love's Illusion

by Priya Grey

  “You don’t want to see what I look like underneath this thing.” I touch the mask with my fingers. “You’d cringe, and it would ruin an already awkward encounter.”

  There’s a pause, then he asks, “Why is this awkward?”

  “Well, because of this mask,” I confess.

  He nods and looks at the ground. He’s pondering what I just said. Then he looks at me. Staring straight into my eyes, he takes a few steps forward. I feel a nervous rush of excitement shoot through me. He begins to echo the words from our phone conversation. “I thought you called me because you wanted to get fucked. Wanted to feel my hands over your skin, my cock deep inside of you. Isn’t that right?”

  He moves in closer and my skin grows heated from his presence.

  “That’s right,” I tell him.

  He shrugs. “Well, that has nothing to do with how you look.” He’s even closer now. His voice turns into a whisper as he stares into me. “That’s about our bodies colliding. The skin is just surface. Everything below it is what matters.”

  I inhale deeply; he’s so close. “You smell good.”

  I’m hypnotized by his presence; by the way he looks at me. For a brief moment, he’s made me feel like I’m not wearing a mask. I know he’s probably putting on an act – his job is pleasuring people after all – but I appreciate what he just said. I’m happy with my decision. I’ve chosen the perfect man to have sex with since the accident. But before we go any further, I need to make sure of something.

  “You won’t tell anyone will you?”

  He’s surprised by my question. “What do you mean? About us?”

  I nod.

  “I don’t even know your name,” he confides with a slight smirk. “Are you famous?”

  I slowly nod. “I used to be.”

  He shrugs, takes another deep look at me and says, “Nobody will know.”

  Although I’ve just met him, I sense that I can trust him.

  I lead him toward my bedroom, still surprised by how nervous I feel. Can I really go through with this? Have him see my naked body – the jumbled clutter of scars? Sure, a lot of the damage from the fire has been repaired. But there are still so many imperfections.

  “Is that a dog?”

  I turn around. Mingus is whimpering from inside the bathroom we just passed.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you want to let him out?” he asks.

  “He’s a puppy,” I respond. “I just got him. I’m worried he might ruin the mood, you know?”

  He looks at me a little surprised. “You’re locking your puppy in a bathroom when you live in a house of this size?”

  I don’t know what to say. He’s right. Mingus deserves to be treated better. “You’re right. I’m being ridiculous.”

  I open the bathroom door. Mingus scrambles out and starts circling Kade’s feet. Kade’s face breaks into a grin as he looks at the puppy. He bends down and picks Mingus up. Mingus happily licks his face. Kade smiles – a real big smile, and the first I’ve seen from him. It shatters the somber presence he had earlier. His smile looks so genuine, so sincere. My attraction to him grows tenfold.

  I really want to fuck this guy.

  “Hey, little fella,” Kade says to Mingus as the puppy continues licking his face. The tough exterior I saw when I first opened the door has vanished. I’m now staring at a gorgeous, well-built man holding a puppy. Kade’s warmth and friendliness is palpable. “What’s his name?” he asks, turning to me, smiling.

  “Mingus,” I reply, still shocked by his change in demeanor.

  “After the jazz musician?”

  I’m surprised he guessed right. Charles Mingus was an old-school jazz musician from the fifties and sixties.

  “Yeah,” I say with a nod.

  “Cool.” Kade raises Mingus and looks into his puppy eyes. “You’ve got a cool name after a cool dude, buddy.” Mingus returns the compliment by lathering Kade’s face with his tongue. Kade chuckles and lowers Mingus to the floor. When he straightens up, our eyes meet. I feel an electric shock. That’s what his gaze does to me. It’s like sex lightning!

  I take a deep breath to calm myself and continue walking toward the bedroom; Mingus follows close behind.

  It’s been so long since I’ve had a man in my company – since I’ve felt a masculine presence in my home. I miss it. And even if I have to pay for it, I’ll treasure it tonight.

  When I get to the door, I turn around. “Okay, he can’t follow us into the bedroom.”

  Kade looks down at the puppy and shrugs. “Sorry dude, she’s the boss.”

  Mingus whimpers as we close the bedroom door on him. Once inside my room, I walk over to the stereo and put on music – to drown Mingus’s whimpers from the hallway.

  “In This Special Place,” says Kade, recognizing the song.

  “One of my favorite albums,” I reply.

  “Good fucking music, that’s for sure,” he says with an appreciative nod.

  As the music fills the room, we stare at each other silently.

  “So, how should we do this?” I ask, feeling a nervous knot in my stomach start to grow.

  He takes a few slow steps forward.

  “Would you feel more comfortable with the lights turned off?” he asks.

  I nod gratefully. He walks over to the light switch and flicks it off. The moonlight streaming in through my bedroom window is now the only source of illumination. My guard comes down as comfort seeps in.

  “Let’s start off slow,” he says as he returns to where I’m standing. “Why don’t you just lay back on the bed and let me do all the work.”

  I like the sound of that. I take a seat on the bed and look up at him. Kade slowly slips off his t-shirt. I practically drool over the muscles rippling in his stomach then admire his chiseled chest. I haven’t felt the hard body of a man in so long. He unbuckles his belt.

  The nervous knot in my stomach eases and my body begins tingling with anticipation of what’s to come.

  Kade kicks off his chucks and pulls down his jeans. The only thing standing between his cock and me are a pair of white boxer briefs. My excitement grows. As I admire the tattoos running up his arms, I notice the portrait of a young boy tattooed on Kade’s chest. The boy is smiling, a wide happy grin. I’m about to compliment the artwork, but then Kade steps toward me.

  I notice his cock shift under his briefs. He reaches and pulls down his boxers. My heart catches in my throat at the sight of his impressive manhood. Instantly, my sex pulsates with need. Any hesitation I had disappears at the sight of his gorgeous cock.

  I haven’t been properly fucked in what feels like forever. I want it badly. I eagerly take his shaft in my hand, tugging on it. It grows harder with my caress. I raise my eyes and look up at Kade.

  “You’re blessed,” I tell him.

  “Thanks,” he says with a slow, satisfied smile.

  Slowly, I begin stroking his cock. It grows even larger. My eyes widen. I haven’t had a cock this big in a really long time. And his is the perfect girth and size. I feel my pussy getting wetter just thinking about him sliding inside me.

  I lean forward, desperately wanting to take his gorgeous shaft in my mouth. But I stop myself. I can’t. Not with this mask on. It’s covering my entire face. I lower my head in disappointment.

  “This fuckin’ mask,” I mutter.

  Kade senses my frustration because he responds, “Don’t worry. We can work around it.”

  He reaches down, offering me his hand. I take it and stand back up.

  “I thought we agreed that I’d do all the work anyway,” he says.

  He slowly reaches for the buttons on my chambray shirt. My heart beat races.

  He’s going to see the flawed skin on my chest!

  I quickly grab his wrist. He stops then looks at me. That soulful sadness has returned to his gaze.

  “Don’t worry,” he whispers. “We all have scars.” His voice echoes the haunted turmoil of recent trauma. I realize that the onl
y difference between Kade and I might be that my scars are visible and his hide underneath the surface.

  I sense he understands my inner conflict because he might be going through his own. I knew there was a reason why I chose him.

  He’s haunted just like I am.

  I breathe a sigh of relief as I realize I’m in very safe hands.

  I let go of his wrist, letting him proceed.

  He moves in closer. We’re so close; we could kiss…

  He unbuttons my shirt and gently slides it off my shoulders. I raise my arms above my head allowing him to pull off my black tank top. With adept fingers he unfastens my bra. Slowly and ever so gently, he begins running his strong, firm hands over my fragile skin, over my breasts. My body springs to life at the sensation of his touch. I rest my hand against his chest as he kisses the side of my neck. His warm lips against my tough, ropey skin are welcomed and needed.

  He continues with a trail of kisses down my chest, taking one of my breasts in his mouth, gently tugging on my nipple. Lord, how I’ve missed a man’s lips on my body, on my tits. I grab the back of his head and press it against my chest. His touch makes me forget all my inhibitions.

  Kade drops to his knees. He looks at me as he runs his hands up my legs and under my peasant skirt.

  My breath catches as I feel his fingers reach over the top of my undies. He slides them over my hips, and down my legs.

  I help him by taking off my skirt. It drops to the floor. Except for my mask, I’m completely naked, just like him.

  Kade gets back to his feet. He runs his fingers over my scarred skin, his digits delicately dancing across my flesh. He squeezes my shoulders, motioning me to turn around. He continues running his hands down my back. Then he squeezes my ass.

  I feel his warm breath against the back of my neck as he whispers in my ear, “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  I struggle to stifle the emotion that suddenly overwhelms me. He may be lying, but I don’t care. I appreciate his words and need to hear them. This isn’t about sex anymore. His presence – here, in my bedroom – makes me feel alive again.

  Kade moves closer, and I feel his cock, now fully erect, press against my backside.

  “Here’s the proof that you having nothing to be ashamed of,” he says with a growl. “Do you feel how hard I am for you?”

  I’m overcome with gratitude and desire. A tear rolls down my cheek. To be wanted this way, by another human being, is something I never thought I’d experience again.

  Kade leans forward and wraps his strong arm around my waist. His fingers slide across my belly, toward my crotch. He begins to tease my wet lips with his fingers.

  “You need this: me, inside you,” he says in a low whisper.

  “You have no idea,” I reply, resting the back of my head against his shoulder, thankful for his presence.

  “Well, the waits over,” he growls and places another kiss on my shoulder.

  Slowly, he turns me so I face him. I’m surprised by the lust and passion burning in his eyes. Could it really be for someone like me? I glance down at his rock-hard cock.

  “Lie on the bed,” he orders. “It’s time I give you what you need.”

  Grateful, I follow his instructions.

  Kade grabs a condom from his jeans and slips it on his cock. Then he climbs over me. I feel the tip of his cock nudge against my pussy.

  I look into his dark, intense eyes and press my hands against his chest.

  “You ready?” he asks.

  I want to kiss his luscious lips, but can’t. I simply nod.

  Kade shifts his hips and I feel the head of his cock slowly part the lips of my pussy. He eases himself inside me. My pussy welcomes him, clenching around his girth.

  “You feel good,” Kade whispers into my ear.

  “Trust me, you feel better,” I confess.

  Slowly, he pumps his cock in and then out. With each stroke my pussy throbs for more. I wrap my arms around his wide back, my legs around his waist. I want him deeper inside me. He’s bigger than I’m used to, but I want to take as much of him as I can.

  “Fuck yes,” I moan with pleasure. “You don’t know how badly I need this.”

  Kade increases his long, deep thrusts, each one raising my threshold of desire.

  My breath quickens as we find our rhythm. Drops of pleasure slide down my thighs. Then I feel it coming. That sensation I’ve been missing for so long is slowly building inside me. I dig my nails into Kade’s back as I wrap my legs tightly around his waist. I want all of him. As his cock stretches me wide, and fills me to the brim, I beat my fist against his back. “Fuck yeah, Kade. You feel fuckin’ a-maz-ing.”

  Then it finally comes - the rush of joy, the heat of passion, coursing through my entire body.

  I wail with utter abandon as the rising crescendo of In This Special Place fills the room. My pussy pulsates like a jackhammer. Gasping, I come all over Kade’s cock.

  But we’re not finished yet. I’m still hungry.

  Read Healing Melody Now

  Love’s Composure Excerpt

  Do You Believe in True Love? How Much Are You Willing To Sacrifice For It?

  Love’s Composure tackles these questions and many more. This bittersweet love story follows Emily & Sebastian, two passionate musicians with very different careers. The story of their love spans decades and captures the tender and haunting moments of their relationship. Readers are calling Love’s Composure “one of the best love stories I have read” and “a beautiful second and third chance love story.” “The emotion and passion I experienced while reading the book, is something I will treasure.”

  For Fans of The Notebook and Me Before You, Love’s Composure is a thought-provoking, inspiring, and emotional read that will make you question your own life, love, and time spent living.

  “I would most definitely recommend this book to readers who appreciate depth in a story and passion in their heart. Not to mention, a good cry.”

  Keep reading to enjoy this excerpt…

  As I made my way through the crowd, and down the hallway toward the restrooms, I felt that sad, regretful feeling creep up again. I washed my hands at the bathroom sink and stared at my reflection. Ten years had just passed by in the blink of an eye. My decision to stop practicing the violin meant I was no longer good enough to play in public. Even though I missed having the violin in my life – and I missed being good at playing it – I convinced myself that Abby belonged on that stage now, not me.

  I dried my hands and left the bathroom.

  That’s when the universe decided to play its little joke.

  As I opened the bathroom door, and stepped into the hallway, I saw you walking toward the men’s room.

  Time froze for that brief moment. Our eyes locked as we recognized each other.

  Even though it had been ten years, I still felt that familiar tug as I looked at you. You hadn’t changed much, maybe a little heavier, but not in a fat kind of way. You had grown into your body. You still looked incredibly fit, with great hair. You were still hot as hell, maybe even more so than the last time I saw you, when you were twenty-six.

  I was too awe-struck to speak. What were the chances of running into you, while I reflected on the reasons I had abandoned music? It was too coincidental. I stopped playing the violin because of you. And there you were, standing before me, looking sexier than ever. For a brief second, I almost forgot how much I hated you.

  “Hi.”

  I simply nodded. I wasn’t sure how to react.

  “You look great.”

  I didn’t return the compliment, even though you looked fuckin’ hot, which only angered me more. I knew you were going to be one of those men that gets better with age. It really annoyed me.

  “Why are you here?” I finally asked.

  “I’m in town for some meetings. Someone recommended I check out this band. And you?”

  “My best friend, Abby, is playing violin for The Nasty Explosion while they tour the eas
t coast.”

  You nodded and kept staring at me with that powerful gaze you have. The tension between us was obvious.

  “So what have you been up to?” you eventually asked. “Have you been playing?”

  I felt my face cringe. How dare you ask me that question? You had no right. I shot you a pointed stare and said, “Fuck off.”

  I moved to walk past you, but you grabbed my wrist.

  “Emily, wait.”

  I glanced at your hand. “Let go of me,” I snapped.

  You let go of my wrist, visibly shocked by my anger. “Sorry,” you quickly apologized. “I’m just a little confused. Shouldn’t I be the one who’s upset?”

  I had no idea what you were talking about. How could you be upset with me? I was the one who had been used. Not the other way around. Luckily, I didn’t have to listen to your explanation.

  Just then, a group of twenty-something girls swarmed you.

  “I told you it was him!” shouted one of the girls as she tugged on her friend’s arm. “Quick. Take a picture.”

  Without even asking your permission, the girl grabbed your arm. “Just one quick selfie, Sebastian.”

  That was my chance to escape. I scurried down the hall as you were forced to take a picture with total strangers. We both knew if you were rude, and said no, it would be all over social media.

  As I re-entered the concert hall, I took a deep breath and made my way toward the bar. Chad was standing there, trying to get the bartender’s attention.

  “Hey, you sure you don’t want anything?” Chad asked.

  “I changed my mind,” I said. “A gin and tonic.”

  Chad finally got the bartender to see him. When our drinks arrived, I downed my gin and tonic to calm the anger running through my body.

  “Easy there, killer,” joked Chad.

  “I needed that,” I replied.

  “You sure everything’s alright?”

  I quickly nodded.

  “We don’t have to go to the after party, you know.”

  I shook my head. “I do. If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to. But I told Abby I’d be there, and I plan on keeping my word.”