Between Worlds (Pendant Series Book 3)

by Austin, Cynthia

  Lost in the moment, I so foolishly repeated those words to him. “I love you too.” I may have meant them. It felt like I meant them when I said it. But it didn’t change the fact that I also loved Ray. My heart was so screwed up.

  And Adrian had no idea.

  Closing my eyes as I rested my head on Adrian’s chest, I listened to the calming rhythm of his heart beating until sleep finally surrounded me.

  Chapter 3

  Attack

  When I opened my eyes I was in the place I’d often dreamt of many times before. I sat up and looked around. Somehow, it seemed different this time. As if everything was much clearer in vision and texture.

  It seemed as if I’d looked at the scene through a dirty mirror before and now the mirror was sparkling clean. For the first time, I could smell the beauty of it all and see every detail. I took an invigorating breath and laughed out loud when I realized I could actually smell the scent of sweet jasmine flowers. Before, I was nothing but a spectator in this other world, but now I was a part of it. I gazed up and admired the blue sky full of puffy white clouds. I felt the sun beating down on my bare arms, radiating its heat into my skin. It was like everything was in 3-D. It was exhilarating.

  The scenery seemed to stretch for miles; row upon row of corn and wheat fields with line after line of perfectly placed fruit trees. The untouched earth beneath me had all sorts of stunning wildflowers sprouting from the dirt. Deep back behind the cornfield was a wall of eucalyptus trees, their heavy leaves swaying back and forth in the wind.

  Golden hills swallowed up the entire valley, giving me a sense of serenity. The land reminded me of my childhood when I had been as free as a soaring eagle to explore the undeveloped areas of my neighborhood. That same sense of freedom was here with me now.

  Suddenly I saw a giant shadow cast upon my face as a figure stood in front of me and held out his oversized hand to me. I was baffled. In all the times I’d visited this place, no one had ever been able to see me.

  Until now.

  I took his hand without hesitation. It was warm and welcoming. The sun blazed behind him, darkening his figure and allowing the rays of sunlight to beam off his body. The bright light made it impossible for me to see the details of his face other than a shadow profile of a man, but I could feel his peaceful aura and knew he was here only to help me.

  As I stood up, the sun sank below him, and with the glare out of my eyes, I could now see him clearly, and I gasped at the sight.

  Immediately, I retracted my hand from his grip. “I know you. You’re Samael’s father.”

  His voice boomed, “I am. In a way, I am everyone’s Father. At least I like to look at myself in that eternal sense.”

  I snorted at his arrogance.

  He lowered his voice. “I’ve brought you here to warn you.”

  I folded my arms and looked at him in disbelief. “Warn me?”

  “He’s not as he appears, Sidney.”

  Didn’t my mother say the same thing?

  I was afraid to say his name. “S-Samael?”

  “You know him as Adrian,” said the shadow Father.

  I was stupefied, and suddenly scared. “They’re the same person? How is that even possible?”

  “The Devil wears many faces.”

  His answer was as shocking as a slap to my face. I may have not been the most religious person in the world, but I did know of the Devil and Adrian was far from the monstrous villain humanity had painted Satan out to be.

  Besides, the Devil existed as much as God did and I wasn’t sure I believed in either one. I sputtered out a response. “Why would you say that?”

  Samael’s father stood erect, arms folded as he gazed into the distance, staring at nothing in particular. Then he turned and his next words sent a chill through me. “He’s an evil one, that child of mine; both he and his sister. Death has followed them ever since they exited their mother’s womb only seconds apart.”

  My head was spinning with confusion. I was trying to wrap my mind around this information that had slammed my senses into a wall of stone. There was no way I could accept what this man was saying to me. Adrian wasn’t evil and he didn’t even have a sister. No, this was all wrong. Adrian was not Samael or the Devil or any of those things.

  He is my friend…and maybe my lover.

  I stood up verbally to the giant figure looming over me. “You’ve got to be mistaken. Adrian is not Samael.”

  I took a step back. I felt my instinct to run beginning to kick in as I visually scoured the land, seeking out the quickest escape route. But being unfamiliar with the land, I had no idea where to go. Besides, if this guy was truly God, where could I go?

  Panic was setting in. “This is not real right now…this is a dream!”

  I pinched my arm, forcing myself to wake up from this nightmare. But Samael’s Father continued to speak as if he had not even heard my scream.

  “Her poor body could not withstand their torment. She died moments after giving them life.”

  I put my hands up to my ears, refusing to allow these lies to enter my brain. “Adrian doesn’t have a twin sister! No, you must be confused. Adrian’s mother did not die during childbirth. His parents died together last year in a car accident,” I shrieked, begging him to acknowledge he’d made a mistake.

  But he wouldn’t budge. His eyes were hard and emotionless. There was no give and take in his manner. He wouldn’t accept my version of the story.

  “Everything out of my son’s mouth is deceit. He’ll twist your vision of things until it’s an ugly distorted mess. He’s already gotten his claws into you. You’ve allowed yourself to question your judgment of what you know to be right. With the help of his evil sister he’s been able to get you to push away everything good in your life.”

  “Sister?”

  That one word was all it took to send the memories of my last dream crashing into my brain. Just as clear as my dream was now, apparently so were my memories. And as the memory of the inappropriate sibling dream flooded my brain so did the images of Lilly and Adrian.

  “That’s impossible,” I whispered. I shot the old man a revolting look. “You’re doing this to me! You’re putting these images in my mind. You’re the one trying to make me believe things that aren’t real!”

  “You’ve lost your faith, Sidney,” he replied with a calm reverence.

  Now I felt nothing but anger. This man had to be tricking me, distorting my memories to see facts that weren’t real. Adrian and Lilly didn’t even know each other. This whole thing was ludicrous. I fought back. “Faith in what…faith in God?” I snorted. “I never had faith in something I couldn’t see.”

  “Look around you, Sidney. What do you see? Where are you?”

  I closed my eyes, refusing to comply with his request and instead willed myself to wake up, “I’m dreaming,” I said through gritted teeth.

  Wake up, Sidney. Open your eyes!

  I could almost feel my heavy sedated body back in the other world. I closed my eyes and tried hard to make that Sidney lift her arm or turn her head. I tried to make her move something that would jolt her back into consciousness.

  But it was no use.

  The impudent man would not stop his torture. “Why the same dream? Why is your dream written in Adrian’s book? Why does it correlate with a religious book if religion is not real? Who is Adrian and what does he want from you? That’s what you need to ask yourself. If you can answer that question you will be freed from your torment.”

  Finally, the connection from my brain to my nerves seemed to plug back in and with a spark, I could move my arm. I flopped myself so hard my entire body came crashing off Adrian’s bed and hit hard against the wooden floor. My eyes shot open. I was finally awake, but those final words lingered in my brain.

  Freed from my torment…what torment?

  Awake and released from my dream, I looked about the unfamiliar room and all at once the memories of last night came rushing into my head.

 
Denying what my memories screamed to me, I reached over and grabbed my blue dress, hugging it tightly.

  Shit, Sidney. You’ve really made a mess of things now.

  I cursed inwardly to myself as I quietly collected my belongings from all over Adrian’s bedroom. How could I have let this happen? Why couldn’t this have happened yesterday before I had received Ray’s package? So much could have changed in that short span of time. Now it was too late.

  I had wanted Adrian for months, so much so I finally found the courage to call him out on it and what had he done? He had shut me down. Then, the instant Ray came back into my life he finally unloaded his feelings and made me his lover.

  I glanced angrily at Adrian, who was still sleeping soundly in the bed. But once I saw his peaceful face, I could no longer pass the blame on to him. This was my mess. He was just a casualty of Ray’s and my war. Images of last night kept playing in my mind. Our kisses, caresses, and the words we said reverberated in my mind.

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  I closed my eyes and willed the memories away. Last night, in the heat of the moment, Adrian said he loved me. And like a big idiot I told him I loved him too. This was not a total lie, but a lie just the same. Yes, I did love Adrian, but I loved Ray too. Ray asked me to marry him last night.

  What was I going to do today?

  Not wanting to answer that question, I continued searching the room, reassembling my wardrobe by picking up my scattered articles of clothing. This was not helping erase the memories of our erotic night together. I dressed as quickly and silently as I could. Then, I began the hunt for my shoes. I think they fell off somewhere mid-stairs while Adrian was carrying me up to his bedroom…

  Shaking my head, I grabbed my purse and exited the room.

  One heel lay just where I suspected, but the other was still a mystery. Tip-toeing down the wooden stairs, I felt like Cinderella searching for the missing slipper.

  But if I was Cinderella, who was my Prince?

  I saw it lying in front of the double doors to the library. I scooped up the shoe and in a flash; I was at the big red door and ready to fly away.

  But something stopped me from taking another step. I turned back around and headed deeper into the McAllister mansion.

  Chapter 4

  Tightrope

  I found myself standing in front of the doors to the enormous study.

  The library was, far and away, my favorite room in the McAllister house. This was not surprising since the room was so fascinating. It was the centerpiece for the tours that used to take place years ago.

  Putting my heel back on my foot, I debated abruptly leaving before Adrian woke up to avoid that awkward morning after a night of sex talk. The one where we both would futilely try to read each other’s body language in the hopes of finding out if last night’s escapade meant as much as it did to the other person.

  I’d just as soon leave and let Adrian conclude it didn’t mean a thing to either of us. It was simply a mistake. I was sure he knew it too. But just as I turned to exit the house, a sense of déjà vu enveloped me as I remembered the odd dream I had just experienced. It was a phrase that rendered me frozen in my tracks.

  Why is your dream written in Adrian’s book?

  That’s what Samael’s Father had asked me. I racked my brain for the meaning behind his words. Then I remembered the night of Ray’s arrest. After our fight, I had run back to Adrian’s house. He was in the library arguing with a client on the phone while searching for something. I opened the doors to the library and quietly crept forward as I recalled that night.

  There had been a safe hidden behind one of the bookcases. I’d watched as Adrian slid the bookcase away from the wall and revealed it.

  But what had been in that safe?

  I closed my eyes and focused on that night. I was an emotional wreck and all I cared about was making sure Adrian was okay. He had a bloody lip, as I remembered. And he was angry from the phone call.

  But what was in that safe?

  All at once, my memories flashed back and my eyes darted to the big mahogany desk in the middle of the room. The tattered red book still lay in the same spot that Adrian had placed it. Out of an entire library full of books, why was this one locked away, hidden from everything else?

  Was Samael’s Father referring to this book? And if he was, that would be admitting he was more than just a dream. It would be admitting to myself that all of them were real.

  I felt myself gravitating toward the desk and gripped Adrian’s dusty red book. Turning it over in my hands, I gave it a closer examination. The title on the spine read, “The Children’s Book of Jewish Folklore.”

  Why would Adrian, a person with a complete lack of faith, keep such a book locked away? Immediately, I began to scan the pages searching for any sort of clue.

  I flipped through the musty yellow pages as I admired the illustrations. The drawings all looked similar to what you would find in just about any bible but there was one specific drawing that caught my attention. It was an ominous illustration of the Garden of Eden.

  There were dead apple trees and withered branches reaching up toward a black sky. There were overgrown weeds dancing up the steel gates which were closed and chained. It was not like any picture of Eden I’d ever seen before. This was the Garden after the gates had locked. Growing more curious by the second, I turned the page and began scanning the words. The story looked similar to the one I had known, but there were additional characters I had never heard of before. Then my body froze in horror as my eyes focused on one word only.

  How is this possible?

  Printed in the black ink, I read his name.

  I couldn’t believe my eyes, and I even tried to blink it away but the name remained in the book, dancing over all of the pages as though it were taunting me. The room began to close in on me and the phantom pain in my head returned. I reached for my purse and frantically ingested two more pills, hoping to get a grip on my mental breakdown. Pinching myself as hard as I could, I determined this time I was not dreaming. I sat down on the hard floor and went back to the beginning of the bible. This was one story I needed to read.

  According to Adrian’s book, God had started off with Adam, creating him from dirt, but he had also made a wife for Adam, also out of dirt. Her name was Lilith.

  Since Adam and Lilith were made from equal parts Lilith refused to submit to Adam, which created an issue. Lilith eventually left and then God created Eve from Adam’s rib bone, obviously learning from His first miscalculation.

  Now that this female was made from Adam, she would have no choice but to submit to her superior man.

  As I read this, I realized that among His other faults, God was also a sexist. Eve submitted as she was supposed to until she met Samael, who was Lilith’s brother. Christians have always believed him to be Lucifer.

  The Devil wears many faces.

  Oh my god, no.

  I forced the memory of the dream out of my mind and continued reading. The next line caught my full attention as I read it over and over again.

  He is a figure who is accuser, seducer, and destroyer, and has been regarded as both good and evil.

  Suddenly I couldn’t help but compare the green eyes Samael had possessed to Adrian’s eyes. Was it pure coincidence that Adrian came into my life right after my dreams began?

  That these dreams accelerated once I let him into my life and now, was it just a huge coincidence that Adrian had the very book that held the answers to my questions? My mind raced toward denial.

  No way. I refuse to believe what that old man said. Adrian is not Samael.

  I pushed the speculations out of my mind and kept reading. Using my finger as a guide, I read each word as if my life depended on it. Eve and Samael fell in love and began an affair better known as “eating the forbidden fruit.” It was Eve and Samael’s adultery that resulted in her and Adam being kicked out of the Garden.

  It wasn’t an apple—it was illicit sex?


  I closed the big red book and rubbed my eyes, glancing over at the clock. It was 10:14 a.m. and I knew Adrian would be waking soon.

  What was I going to tell him?

  That he was right last night? Maybe my mind had summoned him along with some old man who just might be God, and came to me in a dream last night telling me my new lover was the Devil?

  The story in Adrian’s book was making my head spin. How could I have dreamt some folklore I had never known about? Why did Adrian have this book? What was the connection?

  Accuser, Seducer, and Destroyer.

  As I analyzed it, Adrian fit the bill here, accusing Ray of being unworthy of my love, seducing me…but what had he destroyed? When he came into my life, my relationship was already self-destructing. If anything he’d helped awaken me to my reality.

  I flipped to the beginning of the book and decided to read the first chapter. After the first few lines, I decided I didn’t care for this book and concluded it held the same hypocritical views of any other religious book I’d ever picked up.

  Like my previous encounters with religion, the book made me question the way I was living, and for that, I hated it. The entire first chapter was dedicated to the explanation of evil, stating that evil could be as simple as pernicious selfishness and a drive for immediate gratification without regard for others.

  Here I was blaming Ray all this time for chasing after his silly little rock and roll dream but maybe I was the one being selfish for wishing he would give it up and come home to me. My drive for immediate gratification would explain why I continue to gravitate toward Adrian. With Ray’s absence, I felt the need to fill the empty void inside of me with the presence of another man. I had carelessly ignored the fact that Ray disliked it because I was being selfish. Or as this book said; I was being evil.

  This was B.S. to me.

  I slammed the red cover shut and choked on the giant dust cloud that whooshed out.

  This was exactly why I despised religion. It would literally make you crazy if you allowed it to get inside your head.