Lovefool (complete 1st part of Lovefool trilogy)

by Amalia Angellinni

#23 DRIVE MY CAR

  Julian was driving quite slowly, thinking about the girl he had seen in the drug store. He was wondering about her, because he was sure that he had already seen her, although they didn't meet in the streets or somewhere else. Julian had dreamt of her once. It was strange, because he hardly needed any sleep and as far as he knew, he wasn't able to dream as human beings were. Nonetheless, he saw her eyes. Not the entire face, not the entire body, but he knew her eyes.

  In the first moment, he just sensed the smell of baked cherries and plums. Then he saw her shape and only then, he saw her face. If she didn't smell so fruity, he wouldn't have noticed her so easily. In addition, when she stepped in and looked around and he saw her eyes, he wasn't able to move at all. He felt like being under an unspoken spell, and he was clearly bewitched. He couldn't move, he couldn't stop to stare at her and it surely made a careless impression instead of showing himself rather humbly.

  She looked at him shortly, hard to notice every now and then. He couldn't decode what she was thinking. She smiled politely, delicately. He even let her go first just to steal some more moments with her. He was really impressed. The only thing he knew at that moment was that she was extraordinary. It wasn't about her appearance. She was looking beautiful, young but there were no emotions on her face. Nevertheless, she made a friendly and welcoming impression.

  Now he saw her again. She stood at the end of the sidewalk at the main gateway in Wroclaw and waved. He recognized her clothes and her green, deep green eyes. Although she was standing over 500 meters away from him, he already saw her eyes. They were unique.

  Julian noticed a car in front of him, which wanted to stop, and Julian didn't intend to let it happen. He overtook it and stopped in front of her.

  Mia saw a blue Ford Mustang suddenly overtaking a grey Opel minivan. This blue car was a wonder. It looked unbelievable! If it hadn’t a pop culture status until now, then it should get one. Mia remembered her grandmother watching the crime thriller Bullitt, when Lieutenant Frank Bullitt drove a modified version of this Mustang. An attractive version of the coupé stopped in front of her, which was sold in 1968 only. She was fascinated by this car and came closer. At the same time, Mia was confused by the driver's manoeuvre but when she saw Julian’s face, she was sure of what she was doing.

  Now, when he could see her face closely, he was overwhelmed. She was his fate. He already knew it.

  -Are you going in the direction of Jelenia Gora? – She asked shortly, insecure.

  -Yes, indeed. – He nodded.

  Mia didn't look more confident; she still had some doubts.

  -I promise I will not drive like just now. – Julian added quickly.

  She smiled and asked to be sure:

  -Will you take me there, please?

  He nodded again and bent over to open the door for her. She got in and fastened the seat belt. He couldn't focus on driving his car and looked at her almost permanently. He wasn't sure whether she noticed it. Usually nobody was able to notice his quick moves because he was quicker than any human being. Now he finally found what he was waiting for a very long time. He was too astonished to spread his joy because it could just scare her. That wasn't his intent.

  She was still a little confused. He saw it in slow motion as she looked at him twice after she got in. Was she wondering as well why they met again?

  She mentioned that her name was Mia and then he introduced himself with his current name: in Poland, he was called Julian. This name wasn't so popular nowadays; but when he came to Poland, it was. In the time before World War II, he knew many guys called Julian. In addition, one of them was Julian Tuwim, one of the greatest Polish poets. Today he was mostly known for his contribution to children's literature, but Julian knew him from other areas as well. He liked his early work like “In Lurking for God” or “The Dancing Socrates”, before he became a virtuoso of word and language and a children’s hero. It was mainly his humour and his satiric point of view, which made Julian one of the biggest fans of Julian Tuwim.

  He asked himself what her name really was. Probably Emilia... He knew some girls called Emilia, and they were called Mia. But this name was still quite rare, especially in Poland. The short form was rather “Emilka” or “Emisia” than just “Mia”. It was unusual.

  Now he could remember his dream more clearly. When she got into the car, he remembered to have seen her face in his dream. So it wasn't only her eyes he has dreamt of. Her face was exactly as imprinted on his mind for centuries. She was even prettier than he thought she would be. Her eyes were the most fascinating part about her, at least for the moment.

  For him, it all started in the moment when he saw her eyes. Over years, the picture in his mind became clearer and sharper and now he could finally see her entire face and her person in real. Now he got her finally sitting next to him and he had enough time to notice every detail he needed to locate her. He tried to drown his excitement and concentrated on his skills. However, it wasn't an easy task. He allowed himself to savour the moment and just looked at her repeatedly without a word. She was just observing the route and seemed not to notice any of his sparkling joy attacks. She was concentrated and looked worn-out. Her cheeks were red as if she has just practised some exercises, but her breath was regular.

  In addition, the smell of her skin was extraordinary. She smelt very nice and so unusual. There was some of the cherry-plumb essence as well, but it wasn't so obvious anymore. Strangely enough, she smelt of the city as well. He was in many different places already, he already saw many things during his time on earth, but this smell was something new for him. She was very attracted to him and he already felt an obsession for her before he met her.

  Now she was real, she wasn't a dream anymore. This feeling of obsession rose inside him. Julian was just overwhelmed. If he hadn't had his extraordinary skills, he wouldn't be able to drive any car under these circumstances.

  She looked at him shortly and she noticed he followed every single movement of hers. She didn't know what to think about it. She already knew him; she couldn't remember when she had seen him except previously in the drug store. From such a near distance, he was even more handsome than she had thought. He was good-looking and had very clear-cut features, almost classical, lovely brown, middle-short hair and he seemed to be in good shape. He was muscled, but not too much, and he had a perfect skin in the colour of marble, maybe a little more vivid, otherwise he would look like a corpse, but a very handsome corpse. His clothes were well matched, showed style and his wealth. His car was proof enough of his untold wealth. Such new cars of this price class didn't just stop to take someone for a ride. Such people didn't look for any contact with average citizens.

  Then there was this look in his deep blue eyes – somewhat curious, somewhat happy, and somewhat distant. Above all everything about him seemed to be stylish. That was her second thought. The first one – where had she seen him before – still occupied her thoughts in the back of her mind.

  She was a little bit annoyed by the fact, she didn't catch the train and she hoped she had hoped to get a bus from Jelenia Gora to Karpacz. The distance between Wroclaw and Jelenia Gora was approximately 100 kilometres and if his speed wouldn't change too much, they would arrive there within an hour and 15 minutes. She should have enough time to get a bus and to meet her classmates, which were surely worried about her. Unfortunately, she had left her cell phone in Karpacz, it was impossible to communicate with her colleagues. Damn it!

  Anyway, this guy made her curious, and he didn't even try to ask her anything. Why did he overtake the other car? Why was it so important for him to stop there? She was wondering about it, parallel to all her other thoughts. This time it was very uncomfortable for her to sit there and notice no sign for a small talk. It was quite unusual. People just do small talk. She missed that chapter. Otherwise, what do you want to talk about with a strange, handsome and apparently rich person? Maybe it was even better not to talk? Why did he stare at her
all the time? She could guess quite well what is going on in people’s minds, but he was a riddle for her. Apparently, she absorbed his complete attention and he didn't even say a word.

  She felt that this fascinating stranger observed her very intensely. She was used to being observed, but his look had such deepness and such intensity, it was almost impossible to sit there and relax. Her heart beat quicker and her mouth was dry. She had a strong feeling he is not a perverse creature, but she couldn’t guess what he was about.

  Finally, he pulled himself together and noticed she was waiting for his next step. He was astonished he couldn't read her inner feelings and emotions. Usually, he had no problem to get into somebody’s internal state of mind but she was different. How come?

  Astonished by this fact he told himself to behave like a very normal human being: “Say something, anything.” He ordered himself.

  -So what are you looking for in Jelenia Gora? – He asked.

  His voice was like a sound of mountains for her: well-defined and strong, but at the same time calm and indeed warm.

  -Nothing special.

  -Do you live there? – He was interested in her answers. He had to collect as much information about her as he could.

  -No, I am spending holidays there, a school trip.

  -I was convinced school trips are well organized and pupils don't have to catch a ride. – He smiled and he looked even more handsome than before. She smiled back, but rather confused. -No, it isn’t a part of school trip, it was just a spontaneous idea of mine and some of my – she thought, “friends” would be too much, but “class mates” sounded even worse, so she chose the first option and said it loud – friends.

  He noticed she hesitated for an instance when choosing words, but he didn't show it. His perception of time was different compared to the one of human beings and that’s why it was always so easy to read people's minds, even without reading their emotions. However, her short period of putting words together to a sentence was unbelievable tiny. If he didn't know she was a human, he would take her almost for one of his kind. Nevertheless, she was human. She had a beating heart, she was breathing for real, she was trembling because of the cold and she was comfortable with the current temperature in his car. He almost never changed his air-conditioner from the factory setting of 22 degrees. It was unimportant for him, he couldn't feel any temperature, any trembling because of coldness or any heat because of warmth. He didn't need oxygen to live and his chest movement of breathing was just a self-taught bluff.

  -Friends? And they left you?

  -No, they just stuck to the plan. If I will not get back on time, they will be there to trick our teachers.

  -And this is what you learn in school? – He laughed.

  -No, of course not. – She protested with a wonderful smile.

  -If you like to, I will even bring you to Karpacz. It is no problem for me.

  -I'd prefer to explain to my friends what is going on.

  -As you wish.

  He was some kind of fascinating. She could listen to him for hours. It was such a soothing sound! Amazing! His laugher was a pleasure for her ears. He had the same thoughts about her.

  -And you are driving here and there without a goal and chauffeur girls? – She laughed.

  -No, only you.

  -So, I am extraordinary. – She laughed even more. She didn't see herself that way. It wasn't a good sign to catch attention, but in his case it was a rather interesting than a scary thought.

  -One of a kind... – Julian whispered while looking at her.

  She wasn't used to getting compliments and blushed. Somehow, she felt a fever overwhelming her head, but it wasn't a sign of an illness, it was a very thrilling and snappy feeling.

  They didn't talk much. Apparently, talking wasn't their thing right now. Julian was out of words for the first time in his life and Mia was never the person to tell stories and explain things with many words and into detail.

  Within an instance, an hour had already passed and they almost reached their destination.

  Then she suddenly felt really bad feeling. It came out of nowhere and was there suddenly, in her heart, in her stomach. She almost collapsed. He noticed it in slow motion and stopped on the side. He sprung out of his car and went to her side of the car, opened the door and helped her to get out.

  She was almost as white as the snow lying on the fields. He thought she would throw up.

  -Are you OK?

  She wasn't as present as she would have liked to be. She took in everything around her, but she wasn't able to communicate. There was a heavy pressure on her chest and it didn't allow her to breathe. Something was smashing her heart and tearing it apart. It was impossible for her body to get enough blood without the heart pumping. There were dark clouds in her mind which poisoned her thoughts and overwhelmed her with their cruelty and uncertainty.

  Mia stood between Julian’s car and snow-covered fields and he helped her to stay on her feet.

  He didn't know how to react. He was much stronger than she was and had to be attentive not to hurt her by holding her too tough. She was like china.

  Mia noticed he was worried, but the dark clouds in her head told her it was a very bad feeling she had, a presentiment of danger. This darkness took over her mind and then left her as quickly as it had arrived. This presentiment however remained as well as Julian's shoulder to lean on.

  She finally took a short breath and then another one, she breathed in deeper and her heart started to beat slowly. She was white as a sheet and very tired from this sudden attack.

  -Are you OK? How can I help you? – He asked her with sorrow in his voice.

  -It’s OK now. –She whispered. Nothing was OK right now, but she had other problems to solve.

  She already knew this feeling. It was the same feeling she had when she was three years old. She was playing in the backyard of their house and then she couldn't breathe for a while. This darkness had caught her and held her in its claws for a moment and then it disappeared. Exactly as right now... It was an awful feeling; you think you will not survive it. It hurts incredibly inside. You are scared and frightened. You don't know what is happening. Your heart stops beating and you know a dark storm is coming. A real frightening storm is coming and you cannot stop it. When you are lost in this presentiment, it is the only thing you are aware of.

  Mia stood motionless and Julian held her until she could breathe again. She seemed to be very scared for a moment and she had sufferance written on her face. Afterwards she wore such a strange expression that he couldn't decode. She was calm and controlled herself professionally. She was on the other side of the mirror.

  I knew it was starting once again. He was back. He was my most scary nightmare since I could think. The message was the same as last time: there will be some victims and there will be much blood. I just knew it, but I didn't know other parts of this plan. I knew my fate would bring me there. I just had to wait until I get more information or emotions leading me there – to another massacre. I had to stay calm to read the signs around me. Then I looked at him, the stranger was observing me and holding me with a sad look. I let him notice I am fine now and I tried to smile at him, just to make his sorrows go away. It wasn't one of my best smiles ever, I guess it wasn't even a smile and that is why he didn't believe me. I shook my head and he understood I didn't need any further help from him. I wanted to be prepared for the worst scenario, but I didn't even know what it could be.

  Think, girl, just think! What is the most precious for you in this world? Grandmother or Mrs. Nowak or Aunt Renata? From these three women I loved Mrs. Nowak with all my heart. The other two women were my last remaining family members and family itself is the most important value for everyone, even if you don't always love it. As I saw a memory of Aunt Renata in front of my eyes I got a feeling of getting a hole pierced through my middle. It was a long, painful stitch. Then I got all the answers I needed. I just had to go back to Wrocla
w and check what is going on. I got scared and wasn't able to move for a second. Then there was the problem with this stranger. Julian had to get me to Jelenia Gora that was just some kilometres away, just a few minutes of a further ride with him. And from there I would find a way to get back to Wroclaw.

  She told him everything was fine and sat down in his car. Within a second, he was already sitting at the steering wheel. She was surprised by his quickness, but it wasn't important for her right now. She was so scared inside and trembling, she hoped not to show it in any way.

  -Are you sure everything’s fine? – He wanted to be sure. He couldn't read anything from her behaviour. He was sure she wasn't OK. She was so much not OK.

  Mia nodded without a word. She was occupied by her thoughts and any further conversation didn't make sense.

  Julian saw he was losing her and he didn't have enough information to find her. Of course, he could use his special skills, but it wasn't allowed to attract anyone’s attention. It isn’t always like this; the more you are trying to stay undetected the more attention you are drawing to yourself? Especially when you are getting emotional... And this was emotional. He had some moments of weakness, but they were never connected with a girl like Mia. He had the girl from his dream next to him and she was a little different from all the people he knew. He got to know many people during his stay on earth.

  He arrived to the main railway station and she thanked him quickly and got out.

  Julian was sure that if he didn't act, he would lose her. It wasn't the plan. He parked his car on the street in a way it didn't draw any attention at least at a first glance. It wasn't even important, because such a car is always attracting attention. Then he just disappeared. He became transparent as if he was a ghost. Like this, he followed her to the train station. He saw her waiting on the platform.

  Then he heard a train approaching the station, although it still was impossible for any normal person to hear it by now. He saw the locomotive and a female voice started announcing a train from Wroclaw coming to the Main Railway Station at platform 2. Everybody should step back.

  She remained in the same spot and didn't move. She was like a rock – stable, white and calm. In addition, a kind of energy was spreading from her person.

  He came closer, but not too close. She was just two steps in front of him. Her smell was very delicate and rarely noticeable. If he didn't know where she was going to, he would lose her quickly. Other smells were much more perceptible.

  Some minutes later Mia was already in a group of her classmates and Julian was standing some steps further away from them. She said she couldn't go with them to Karpacz, she had to do something. She didn't explain much and her friends promised to cover her from the teachers. Unfortunately, they had to get the last bus to Karpacz and there was almost no time for talking.

  -Are you sure you are not coming with us? – asked one of boys and she nodded and apologized once again.

  Then they said goodbye and her classmates had been kind of relieved to meet her and to know that she was OK.

  As they were gone, she looked at the departure board. It wasn't perfect for her. The train should stay here for two hours and only then go back to Wroclaw. She was losing two hours right now.

  He observed her and tried to figure out a new plan. Obviously, she wanted to get back to Wroclaw. You didn't have to be as smart as Sherlock Holmes to get it. He had to convince her to go back with him.

  She moved in his direction and looked at somebody or something.

  -Is there anybody? – She asked quietly.

  Did she notice his presence there? He had to act and the best solution was always the simplest one. He ran away from the platform quicker than anybody could perceive, even if he would be visible to people. Then he looked around and after he was sure, no one was watching him, he turned back into his human form.

  Julian walked to the platform and saw her standing alone just a few steps further than she was standing some seconds ago. She was apparently on her way. She looked at him and was astonished:

  -What are you doing here?

  -I just saw your “friends” without you, so I got worried about you. – He tried to speak every word with the same tone, but she got his ironic undertone.

  -Thank you for your request. – She said coldly. - You don't have to; I can take care of myself.

  Her protest didn't change his plan.

  -So, what are you doing here? You are not going to Karpacz anyway, so where are you going?

  She hadn't enough time for even a small talk, so she just passed by and went through an empty hall of the main station building.

  She looked back and didn't see him anymore. Before she noticed where he was, he was gone. She thought, he was still on the platform and she just exhaled. This guy was strange. She couldn't get him. Everybody she had met so far, was so easy to forecast but he wasn't. It was very strange. And then Mia opened the front door and wanted to leave by the main entrance and she saw him in his car, right in front of her, just a couple of steps away. She was flabbergasted. How did he manage to get here quickly? It was impossible. If she hadn't had this bad feeling inside her and if she hadn't had a good feeling about him when she saw him for the first time, she would have never got involved into this.

  -I am going back to Wroclaw, is it on your way?

  She was too mixed up with her presentiment to think about a strange guy who could help her right now. Of course, the question came up why he was just going to Wroclaw, as he had only arrived from there and such back and forth wasn't very logical.

  -I just got a call and I have to drive back. Get in or get off. – He added quickly without a smile.

  She wasn't convinced completely, but she didn't have time. She knew the faster she got there, the faster she would know more about everything and the puzzle would be solved. She hoped that she would breathe easily.

  Mia jumped in the car and he drove away at the moment she closed the door.

  Mia couldn't concentrate. There were many small stitches, which were pricking all over her body. She got a hot flash and her fingers started to tremble.

  He didn't ask anything. He was just driving. He didn't even look at her like on the way to Jelenia Gora. Apparently, he was just focused on the way. They were too fast according to speed limits, but they could have driven even faster if it would have been up to her. The stitches started to annoy her. There were different kinds of pain and they didn't allow her to concentrate on anything. All she wanted was to be able to think and be able to judge the situation she was dealing with.

  He tried not to stare at her, but he noticed she wasn't so concentrated and didn't sense his observations. He had already graved her face so deep into his memory that he could recall every detail from the deep green of her eyes to her reaction to stress, when she was biting her lips.

  Usually, he would already know what was going on. He could easily read emotions, which made it possible for him to evaluate a person’s behaviour. He felt a chaos in her soul, but he wasn't able to get inside of her. She came across like one of his own kind. However, it was impossible – she couldn't belong to them, because she was human!

  Having this thought, he was wondering how it was possible. Apparently, she was faster than the average and he couldn't read her mind. These two things didn't allow him to relax. On the other hand, she wasn't as fast as he was, not even nearly and therefore it was to be doubted.

  Mia and Julian didn't exchange a word. Minutes passed by and they were sitting exactly as in the beginning of this ride. They passed A4 and Bielany Wroclawskie and were already coming towards Wroclaw. If you have never been in Wroclaw or to any other big Polish city, you have to know how to find your way around in Poland. Not every big street is one of the important ones. Moreover, the shortest way through a city is often not marked by signs. Following the signs would always take much longer. He knew this city and he didn't need any advice.

  Julian didn't know where she w
anted to go. At the crossing of Aleja Wisniowa (Cherry Alley) he had to stop because of the red light and she just jumped out of the car. He saw it very slowly: she unfastened the belt, opened the door and jumped out. She just said “Thank you” and ran away. If he hadn't had this car, he would just go after her. It wasn't hard to get her. But he was sitting in the car and he had to leave it somewhere.

  Ignoring the red light, the hateful looks and the hooting, he drove to the right side of the street and parked his car in the first available spot, which was definitely no parking area. Julian didn't care, he got out of the car, made himself invisible in less than a second and ran into the direction he saw her running for the last time.

  However, he lost her. There were many people walking in the pedestrian area and they all carried quite strong smells with them. He had already lost her smell at the crossing. He ran here and there, but he couldn't find her. Julian didn't know into which direction she was going, which made his search even more difficult.

  He was running back and forth and people on the streets just noticed a cold breeze on their faces. Julian was too slow, even if he was much quicker than a fast car. She was gone. He had lost her.

  Julian was irritated, disappointed and mad. His special skills didn't help him to find her. The only thing he knew about her was her first name and that she was on a school trip. It wasn't much to start with. He could run and check which class booked the hostel of course and it would be quite easy to find out who she was. At first, he had to wait here in Wroclaw, and look for her. This was what his inner feelings told him: to stay here and be watchful. That was the reason why he didn't give up and continued his search.