Lovefool (complete 1st part of Lovefool trilogy)

by Amalia Angellinni

#80 COLD-PLAY

  -Tomorrow is Monday. – Julian announced when she was having her dinner.

  -Oh. – She didn't realize how quickly the time had passed by. She was here already more than a week and it felt even longer. Somehow, she had forgotten about school, about Warsaw, she had forgotten the entire world while being with him.

  -I guess I have to go to school then. – She said unhappy.

  -If you would like to, you can move here and I will bring you to school every day and pick you up in the afternoon. – Julian said and observed her reaction attentively.

  Mia’s smile vanished. She was visibly pleased by this suggestion, but she wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't normal for a teenager to live with somebody who doesn't belong to your family. Although she didn't care what people would say, because people didn't know anything about her, even where she was living, it appeared to be too unusual to approve it. She grew up in a rather traditional Catholic country. Although Mia didn't care about the rules of the church, she always tried to be a good person. It wasn't her grandmother who taught her this, Mia had her own principles, which she followed.

  Not that she didn't like the idea. It would be great to live with him, to spend every free minute with him, to fall asleep by his side and to wake up next to him. What they were doing wasn't forbidden. They just kissed and he stroked her arms, face or hair. There was nothing else of a physical nature. He was very attractive. And his touch was unbelievably desirable. However, they didn't go on. Now wasn't the time. Now wasn't the moment. Although, mentally they had already gone miles further. Spiritually they were already connected with a love truck for the eternity, echoing in her head every single minute. She felt with every cell of her body that he was the one and only, her Mr. Right and Mr. Forever.

  It was a huge decision. She couldn't out the advantages and disadvantages right now, or the consequences that would follow. She remembered that she had to go to Jonas and it would be much more difficult when she wasn't in Warsaw. Mia didn't want Julian to know about Jonas as long as she wasn't sure who Jonas really was. She wanted to pay Jonas a last visit and explain everything. She had to be sure about him. It would be so easy if it wasn't a poker game and if the cards were lying open on the table. Only then, she could tell Julian about this side of her life. She had to stay in Warsaw and that required living in her apartment. It required living alone. It wasn't possible for Julian to move to her, because of all these cameras Jonas had installed. She didn't want to give Jonas any information about her without her own, conscious decision.

  -OK, Mia, my little princess, don't bother. It is OK. It was just a thought. – He laughed freely.

  However, inside Julian wasn't so glad about it. If it would be up to him, he would have her by his side day and night. Does love always require seeing the desired one with your own eyes? Did this feeling of needed possession belong to love? She was the sixth element he needed to live.

  -Mia, you’re the only one I want in my life and I will do anything you want. I won’t push you to decide anything. We have plenty of time, believe me.

  It was so ridiculous to go to school tomorrow and to attend the lessons instead of spending time with him. Julian could teach her much better about history than any books or any teacher. He could teach her more about arts and philosophy than she would learn at school. Nevertheless, an obligation is an obligation. She had to go to school and lead a normal life the way it was before she came here. Nobody should know anything about her relationship with Julian. Nobody should notice any difference.

  With this decision she went upstairs. She could stay here at weekends, but during the week, she had to be in Warsaw. If he didn't mind, of course.

  As she was already lying in his arms, she said quietly:

  -Julian, would you mind if I stay at – she wasn't able to call her apartment her “home”, so she added quickly – in my Warsaw apartment for now?

  -No, if you prefer that. It’s all right.

  -When will I see you then? – Mia worried aloud.

  -I will pick you up after school at Friday.

  -OK. – She answered slowly and unhappy.

  Five long days without him until Friday. Mia started to miss him already now. She didn't allow herself to ask why he wanted to meet her only on Friday. In addition, he wondered a little that she didn't ask it. If she wanted to stay away from him during the week, it was hard, but it was still OK. He had no wish to go to her apartment, because it was so weird. It didn't look like home and all these cameras were suspicious. On Monday when she was at school, he wanted to find an answer to this question that bothered him since he was in her apartment: why did she need these cameras?

  He needed to find something to occupy his mind during the rest of the week. Julian wasn't sure what to do. Maybe he should visit Sebastian? They didn't see each other for a long time and it was a good opportunity to meet. Actually, Julian didn't want to visit his friend. Julian knew that his fellow had some feelings for Mia and now, this information was even disturbing. Julian knew he should not lie to his friend, but he didn't know how to tell him that Mia was the love of Julian's life. Sebastian could say the same and it wouldn't change anything. It would only worsen their relationship and he didn't want this. He wanted Sebastian to be his best friend and nothing could risk this friendship. If it was required to keep the relationship with Mia in secret, then it had to be this way.

  Sebastian was now the only person, who could bring Julian into trouble. It was Julian’s task to protect Sebastian and to watch over him every night and day. He took this task on and his family approved it. If something would go wrong, then someone of his family would come and visit Julian to find out what happened and they would realise that Julian not only messed up Sebastian’s case, but also that Julian had a relationship with a human. Moreover, it wasn't just some unimportant or trivial relationship. It would be enough for his family to judge it, and this decision wouldn't be in any way good to Julian and Mia.

  While thinking about it, Julian noticed that Mia was already asleep. They were now pure unfortunate souls, fighting against two different worlds. They already found themselves in a hopeless lost position and somehow they both felt it one way or another. It couldn't end well. They were waiting for come what may. Julian knew that he would follow her into the dark. Moreover, he knew that Mia would do the same. She was strong enough. They needed it. In fact, it was a road to perdition.

  #81 WORLDS A