Persona

by Amy Lunderman

  Sighing, she pulls open her closet door and turns away from her plain image. Someday, she’d like to be the other girl from longer than a couple minutes.

  She’s just not sure if that will ever be an option.

  Chapter Four

  Following an uneventful weekend, Moira finds herself back in line with Marty at school on Monday. He was unusually quiet on the bus ride, and the weather out matches his dark clothes and attitude. They’ve already been waiting to get inside for twenty minutes, and it started raining about ten minutes ago.

  Flipping up her hood to her sweater, she turns to Marty and says, “So, you want to talk about it?”

  Moira offers him a small smile, and leans into him and bumps his shoulder with hers. He finally smirks at her, and bumps her back.

  “Will you let it go, if I say no?”

  “Not so much, no.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so. You’ve been itching to ask me all morning, since you got on the bus.” He shrugs, and gives her a knowing look.

  “Yeah I have actually. I got the gist at lunch on Friday, but do you want to elaborate on it?” She asks sweetly.

  Shaking his head, he says, “Just the usual bull, really. Some dudes trying to mess with Raven, and they weren’t backing down. So I stepped up, and made them back down.”

  Moira watches him as he talks and wonders if he notices the emotion’s he gives off when he talks about Raven. He probably doesn’t, most guys don’t know they could like someone until it’s too late. She thinks he’s admirable helping out Raven, even if she finds it funny she would need help in the first place.

  “Did you hurt them?” She asks softly.

  She didn’t hear anything about anyone being hurt, and he wouldn’t be at school if he did. But it’s good to hear if he intended to or not.

  “No. But I wanted to so bad, you have no idea.”

  He was starring of into space as he told her what happened, but he turns when he’s done and gives her the saddest look she has ever seen. It breaks her heart that she can’t tell him, which she knows how he feels. Her persona is so strong sometimes, that she can feel it building under the surface just wanting to get out.

  “But you didn’t. And that’s what important.”

  Moira reaches out and takes his hand in hers and gives it a tiny squeeze. With a small smile, he returns the pressure in they’re hands.

  “You know something Warner? You’re kind of an awesome girl.” Marty says in awe.

  “I know that silly, but don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret.”

  Laughing, Marty lets go her hand. He gets behind her as they move up in the line. As Moira takes a step forward, something bumps into her left side and throws her off balance. Trying to avoid a puddle in the sidewalk, she hears Marty call out as she stumbles to her knees.

  When she lands down hard, she regrets ever wearing a skirt that day. Upon impact with the walkway, she skins her right knee on rock pebbles. She feels the sting immediately, and turns around to glare at whoever knocked into her. To her surprise, its Quinn and her three lookalike friends.

  “My bad, I didn’t see you there. It was like you were invisible or something.” Quinn snipes.

  Her friends laugh at this, like it’s the funniest thing in the world. All it does is piss off Moira, and she’d get up and hit her if her knee wasn’t throbbing. But Marty’s not sitting. In fact, he’s facing off with Quinn looking pretty pissed off too.

  “What’s your problem Quinn?” He barks out.

  “My problem?” She laughs and looks between her friends. “It’s not my fault your little girlfriend can’t walk right.”

  Marty clenches his fists at his side, and starts shaking in anger.

  “Careful dog boy, you don’t want to get expelled do you?” Quinn says nastily.

  Moira knowing he must be close to changing, pushes herself to her feet so that she’s standing next to him. She glares at Quinn, and has to control her own anger. But she’s not going to let one stupid cheerleader, make her lose control.

  Touching Marty’s arm, she says, “It’s alright Marty. I’m fine, really. They don’t matter to me. Don’t let them psych you, you’re the one in control.”

  Quinn laughs at her and says, “Who says stuff like that? Your such a freak.”

  Marty tenses again, and takes half a step forward in the other girl’s direction, but Moira stops him by the arm. One of Quinn’s copies gives a little shriek and the rest of them back off. Turning to face him, Moira notices that his eyes have shifted to a darker shade of green, that they appear almost black. His two toned hair is beginning to switch to black, when Moira squeezes his arm hard. Flinching, his eyes shift to her and away from the others.

  “You need to calm down Marty. Take deep, shallow breathes.” She says softly.

  Slowly, he relaxes in her grip and his hair returns to its natural two toned brown. He lets out a deep breathe, and as he looks her in the eye, his lighten so that they are deep green again. He sags back a step and shakes his head to clear it, and Moira turns to glare at Quinn again, who has been watching.

  “Look who’s a dog whisperer. I guess like calls to like, loser.”

  Moira doesn’t let her remark get to her, as she steps close enough to touch. She leans to her ear before the other girl can step away.

  “Back off now Quinn, if you know what’s good for you. I don’t care what your deal is with me. But it ends now.”

  Moira steps back, and gives Quinn a sweet smile, before turning her back on her. She hears her say something like itch, and her friends and her walk away. As gawkers in their squabble continue in the line, Moira goes back to Marty’s side. He’s sort of standing off to the side, looking guilty. They lost their place in line, but she doesn’t care. She just wants to make sure Marty’s alright, and as she moves she can feel something dripping down her knee. Looking down, she sees blood from the scratch she got from falling. She forgot about it until now, and like most cuts, it starts to sting.

  Marty follows her gaze to her knee, and is about to reach out and touch her, but she flinches away. He straightens up, and gets a hurt expression on his face.

  “I’m sorry. You probably think I’m a monster now, huh?” He stares down to the ground, afraid to face her.

  “You’re not a monster Marty. Trust me, I’ve seen actual monsters, and you’re not it.” She touches his arm lightly, to get him to move up in the line. “I just have a thing about blood, the less I see it, the better.”

  They finally reach the doors to the school, and Marty goes inside first. As he steps to the side, she walks up, and see’s one of the many monitors giving him a detention slip. He looks even more upset now, knowing he got into trouble for sticking up for her now. Moira feels bad, since Quinn would leave him alone if it wasn’t for her.

  Coming up next to him, she says, “Don’t feel bad alright. You’re a good guy, Marty. I’m going to get a Band-Aid from the nurse, so I’ll see you in History okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.” He tries to give her a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

  Moira feels bad leaving him standing there in the hallway, but she has to cover up her scratch. All she needs is to get caught being hurt one minute and then healed the next. The healing thing can be a pain sometimes. Helpful, but not good when you want to appear normal.

  Later that day, in gym, they have to stay indoors because of the rain. The plan was for the entire class to work on body strength, but they just ended pairing up and doing exercises. Moira wasn’t looking forward to working with someone she doesn’t know, but Spencer came to her rescue. As soon as the class was told to find someone, he went right up to her.

  “Mind if we pair up?” He asks with a smile, as stops in front of her.

  Moira’s first instinct is to say no, since he’s Quinn’s boyfriend, and she is a total hag. But his smile makes her belly flutter, so she agrees. They go off to the side of the gym, and find a spot to sit. Most of the class is doing sit-ups, so Spencer lies down.


  “Listen, I just wanted to apologize for what happened this morning with Quinn. She can be a little rough some times.”

  “You don’t have to say anything for her. It’s not your fault, it’s hers.” She says, as she tries not to be irritated.

  “I do though. She’s really not that bad, honest. She just gets jealous easy.” He says with a smile.

  Moira doesn’t know what he means at first, but then what he says registers. Who is Quinn jealous of, her? She doesn’t think that’s possible. Before she can call him on it, he interrupts her thoughts.

  “Hold my feet?” He asks as he already does one sit-up on his own.

  She places her hands on his white sneakers, and can feel his muscles working as he moves. She watches the way his shirt tightens over his abdomen, and she feels her cheek burning. Every time he sits up, he gives her either a smile or a wink. She wishes suddenly that he wasn’t so cute, it would make being mad at him easier. But how can a guy like him, be with a girl like Quinn? She wonders if he’s really as nice as he appears.

  He sits up again and says, “Alright, your turn.”

  They switch positions, and when she lays down, she wishes she wore newer sneakers. But when his hands squeeze her feet, she couldn’t care less about her shoes. With a deep breath, she pushes herself up and then back down. Every time she goes up, he gives her a smile and she can’t help grinning like an idiot in return. Even after a few petitions, she still doesn’t feel the burn of her muscles in her abdomen, when she should. So she sits up and pretends to be winded, even though she’s not.

  “Nice job.” He gently pats her knee, causing her blush to deepen.

  They work the rest of class in silence, and Moira wonders again why he’s so nice to her, when Quinn is not.

  ***

  December 2014

  Peter Fletcher sits at his desk I his office, and tries to focus on his monthly data reports. He reads the same page three times before he tosses it aside with a curse. It’s been like this all afternoon, since Moira’s father picked her up for the day. He can’t believe that he allowed that man outside visiting rights. Not that he has any control really, but it still makes him angry. That’s not the only thing angering him these days though.

  Moira turned three, two months ago, and still she shows no signs of turning. And she’s not the only one. There have been reports all over the United States of children being born to people infected. His team have been questioned a lot, about the possible outcome by the authorities. They seemed relieved that his specimen is normal. He is not. It’s been three years since Marshall escaped from this lab, and the infection rate goes up daily. About a quarter of the population is infected, and this has people worried. He’s heard talk of a special task force to be designed to deal with these abominations.

  He’s just glad that he hasn’t lost funding, only because he leaked the story to the press that Marshal didn’t come from here. The story of him being sick and leaving a hospital worked out well for him so far. Thinking about Moira again, he knows he won’t be able to keep her here forever. Her father has already been talking about taking her home permanently. He contemplates stopping the serum doses, since they don’t do anything anyways.

  ***

  October 2028

  A month has finally passed, and Moira finds herself in a steady routine of things. She’s gotten used to her classes and the teachers instructing them, though she’s not looking forward to midterms. She finds herself immersing into the lives of her friends, not that they mind that. They seem happy enough to include her, not caring that she’s supposedly normal. Every day that goes by Moira has to remind herself that she can’t tell them the truth, but it’s getting harder to find a reason. She trusts them, and thinks they would be alright with her secret, but something holds her back, and she continues to keep it to herself. For now.

  Her favorite parts of the day are always gym and chemistry now, even though she hates both. But that could have something to do with the fact that Spencer is in them. She looks forward to seeing him all the time, but it’s getting to the point where her persona is affected by him too. It doesn’t help that he’s always giving her that heartbreaking smile of his. Nothing has really happened between them, much to her dismay, since he’s still with Quinn. She’s trying to wear him down on that though. She and Quinn still don’t get along, and he always apologizes for her.

  It’s the first Wednesday of the month, when she finds herself paired up with Spencer in Chemistry. And yes, she sees the irony in that. She’s just sitting down, and he’s already smiling at her. They listen as the teacher advises them on what liquids to mix with the reactant and what not to use, but Moira is only half listening. They each get handed an outline to follow with the experiment, and Moira is already having trouble remembering what they are supposed to do.

  “Did you understand anything we’re supposed to do?” Spencer asks leaning to face her.

  Shaking her head with a smile, she says, “Not really no, sorry.”

  “That’s alright. More time for us to work on it together.” He says with a wink.

  Her stomach flutters as she looks away to read the outline. Feeling his eyes on her, she turns in her seat to share the outline. Gratefully, he scoots closer and reads over her shoulder. Apparently, they have to mix something and see what it does, and add something else, to see what that on does. They have to keep mixing and adding to see what the final outcome will be. This all seems a little laughable to Moira, since she’s just as mixed up too.

  Halfway through the elixir they are creating, Moira reaches for another vile the same time as Spencer and they’re hand touches. Her face burns in embarrassment, but he takes the opportunity to rub her fingers before pulling away. She’s blushing far worse now. She knows she must look like a tomato. But that’s not the problem. She can feel the stirrings of her persona under skin. It’s been like this the past week, every time Spencer would accidently touch her, it would flare up.

  Usually she has no problem stomping her persona back to its hiding spot inside her, but he does something to her that gives her a hard time with control. She figures it’s because she likes him, but it doesn’t make for an easy time with him, if she’d busy thinking about something other than him. Closing her eyes, she concentrates on breathing to make it go away. Spencer takes this the wrong way though, and places his hand on her shoulder, to see if she’s alright. A rush of sensation flies up from her feet and into her head so fast, that she opens her eyes. The room is sharper than it was before and she knows that her eyes have changed.

  She looks away from Spencer before he can see her eyes, and prays he’s stop and keep touching her at the same time. When her scalp starts to tingle, she knows she has to do something before her hair changes and she’s caught. Before she can push Spencer’s hand from her shoulder, the classroom door opens with a bang, making her jump and his hand to fall off her.

  Everyone turns to the door, as a guy they’re age walks in, with a cocky swagger. Moira is just as surprised as all the other students, since he’s apparently new. He’s a tall guy, but looks well built under his dark jeans and black leather jacket. His hair is a little shaggy, but not that long either. It’s a brown so light, it looks blonde, but what makes Moira notice him, are his eyes. They are a light grey color, like the sky before a storm. He’s tanned, but his cheeks are lightly rosy, so Moira wonder’s where he’s from.

  He doesn’t even pay any attention the class, that have stopped working and talking so they can all stare at him. He just walks over to the teacher and thrusts a piece of paper at him.

  “I need that signed. For the office, so they said.” He says in a deep drawl, which makes Moira think, he’s from the south somewhere.

  The teacher reads over the paper, and signs it before returning it to him.

  “Alright, Liam Morgan, welcome to Wilmington. Lab is just about over, so sit wherever you like. We’ll figure out something for you tomorrow.”

  The boy, Liam, jus
t nods his head and looks around the room. Spying an empty table in the back, he heads for it, and all eyes follow him as he does. As he passes, Moira smells cinnamon in the air, but it fades as he goes by. He deftly pulls out a chair and slumps in the seat, only then does he look around the room with annoyance. This sends everyone looking away and going back to work.

  His eyes pass her before she looks away and Moira can’t stop the feeling like she’s seen him before, but she knows that can’t be true. One thing she does know is that since he walked in, her persona went away. Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees Spencer watching her. Is she imagining things, or does he look kind of jealous of her watching the new guy.

  “He looks like a weirdo huh?” Spencer says as he goes back to reading they’re lab outline.

  Smirking, Moira thinks, yup definitely jealous.

  ***

  June 2015

  Peter Fletcher sits at his desk, and tries not to glare at the man sitting across from him. It’s Moira’s father, and he’s been trying to convince him to let him take her home permanently. It’s not something he wants to agree too, but he can’t tell him no legally. He has no reason to keep Moira any longer. She appears to be just a little girl, a very smart and talented little girl, but just a normal one.

  Her father Daniel Warner has been telling him that his new wife and son are moving out of state, and would like Moira to join them. He repeats that Moira is his, and deserves to be with her family. Peter knows this is all true, but he doesn’t want to lose her. Over the past three years he hasn’t just been studying her and hoping she’s developing. He’s also grown attached to her in some way, and looks forward to seeing her smiling face every morning. He shouldn’t feel this way he knows, since he’s not the girl’s father.