If Wishes Were...Daddies

by Jo Leigh

  “Nick?” She wasn’t liking this. Not at all. She couldn’t tell if he was happy, in shock, or if he’d just plain lost his marbles.

  He leapt up, scaring her to death. She backed away, fast. But he just kept up with her. She backed up even farther and sat in her chair. She wasn’t nauseous anymore. Just, well, mystified. It wouldn’t have surprised her if Nick suddenly started to crow like a rooster. Perhaps she would call that ambulance now.

  “You’re pregnant!” he said, shouting the words, waving his hands in the air like a maestro.

  “I’m pregnant,” she repeated, trying to read him. To get some kind of clue as to what was going on.

  “With my child!”

  “Yes,” she said. “That’s right.”

  “Well, this is...this is...”

  “Yes?” Her pulse raced, and for the second time, she held her breath.

  “Wonderful!”

  She sighed. Maybe all Italian men reacted this way to an unplanned pregnancy. Or maybe Nick was really nuts. As far as she could see, there wasn’t a whole lot wonderful going on. They’d just determined that a relationship between them was impossible. Well, she had. And now he was acting like he’d been handed good news. Great news.

  Nick’s smile had changed to one she recognized. Happy, proud, content. Alarmingly like the smile he’d given her after that first time they’d made love. It must be a male thing. He Tarzan, she a very knocked-up Jane. Didn’t he realize how complicated this made their lives?

  “When are we due?”

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m due in eight months.”

  “A boy. You think it will be a boy?”

  “That’s not exactly the hot issue on the table. We have some things to discuss.”

  “Right,” he said. “But first, champagne. You have any?”

  “No, I don’t have any champagne.”

  “I’ll go get some. Champagne. To celebrate.” He reached into his pocket for his keys and headed for the door.

  “Nick,” she said.

  He reached for the knob.

  “Nick!”

  He turned. “Yes?”

  “No champagne.”

  His brows furrowed. “But this is important.”

  “First, I can’t drink. I’m pregnant.”

  He opened his mouth, then shut it again. “Oh, yes.”

  “Second, we need to talk.”

  He looked at her for a long minute, then nodded. As he walked back toward her, she could see the balloon of his elation deflate. She was sorry to rain on his parade, but for heaven’s sake!

  He sat down in the chair across from her. “So, we talk.”

  She needed to regroup. Never in her wildest imagination had she expected Nick to react with such glee. She’d prepared for anger, for coldness, for resignation. Not for this. She didn’t understand it. Was he this happy because she was carrying his baby? Or was it just that he’d fathered a child?

  “Jessica?”

  She’d been staring. Now was her chance to talk to him, but she didn’t have any idea where to start. Damn it, this was all too fast! She needed time to prepare. Why was it Nick always seemed to take her by surprise? But she had to start somewhere. “I’ll go get my things,” she said.

  He looked at her, confusion creasing his brow. “What things?”

  She stood. “Just wait here.”

  While Jessica went to her bedroom, Nick let his thoughts wander. A baby! He was going to be a father. It was so easy to see his son at five or six. Dark haired, like him. Tall, like all the Carluccis. Maybe even his smile. He’d love the villa, just as much as Nick had loved growing up there. All those rooms to explore. The banisters to slide down. Mama would be so pleased. How she had been after him to have an heir. Someone to carry on the name. And Theresa! She’d finally be quiet about him growing up. He was going to be a father. Amazing.

  “Come,” Jessica said as she walked back into the room. “I think we can see these better in here.”

  He turned as she headed toward the dining room. She carried a large poster board, piled with books and papers. He got up to follow.

  She put her things on the table, then went to the corner and brought out an easel. Motioning him to a chair, she pulled out the poster board and placed it upright.

  It was a chart. A gestational chart. With pictures. Divided by months. Each picture represented a stage of development, from a tiny squiggle to a very good rendition of a curled-up baby. Underneath each picture was a list of symptoms. Below the symptoms were lists of questions.

  He laughed. Laughed so hard, tears came to his eyes. It was so...so...Jessica!

  “What’s so funny?”

  He coughed and brought himself under control. When he looked at her, he could see he’d upset her. “I’m sorry, cara mia, but I wasn’t expecting this.” He nodded toward the chart.

  “It’s very informational. And well researched.”

  “I’m sure it is, darling.”

  “Don’t patronize me, Nick. This is important. We have someone’s life at stake here. We can’t afford to take any chances.”

  “Of course not.”

  “Okay, then.” She turned to the chart and pointed at the littlest squiggle. “That’s where we are now,” she said. “I’ve been to the obstetrician, of course. I’m taking prenatal vitamins already. My diet is good, and I’ve found a gym where they have classes for pregnant women....”

  Nick listened to her go on about her preparations, but only with half an ear. He knew Jessica well enough to know she needed to play with her charts and graphs, that they gave her a sense of control. It wasn’t necessary for him to remind her that women had been having babies for centuries, and that she had no more control over matters than a peasant woman in Sicily. But he couldn’t concentrate. Not when his thoughts were so wild in his head. He had to call home. Mama needed to hear this news soon. Then he needed to call the airline and take a longer leave of absence. There was much to be done here before he could go back to work.

  But the details, he didn’t need to think of those. He would leave those to Jessica. She liked her details, and he didn’t want to take that pleasure from her.

  Maybe the boy would have Jessica’s eyes. He hoped so. They were so very beautiful. And some of her logic. Not all of it. He would need some of his papa’s imagination. But Jessie had good sense. He’d want that for his son.

  His son. The idea made him giddy. He’d never thought much about having a child. Not seriously. Just that someday, if he settled down, he would have bambinos. But now that it was here, he liked this idea very much. He also liked the fact that the mama was going to be Jessica. Fate was very, very kind.

  “And according to most of the literature, this morning sickness of mine should last only another month. But there is a chance it’ll go longer. God, I hope not.”

  He couldn’t sit anymore. He went to her, took the pencil from her hand and put it on the table. Then he took her and wrapped her in his arms. “I’m very pleased, Jessica.”

  She laid her head upon his chest, and he felt her sigh. “I gathered.”

  “But you don’t sound so happy.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Why?”

  She pulled back, looking at him as if he were crazy. “Why? Are you serious?”

  “We’ll work everything out. It will be all right, cara. I promise.”

  “I don’t understand you. I really don’t.”

  She started to turn away from him, but he caught her. When she didn’t look at him, he touched her chin to bring her gaze to his. The look in her eyes worried him. She really was confused. Unsettled. “I know it’s not what we planned, but it’s still a blessing, no? A little baby,” he said as he reached down to touch her stomach. “Our little baby.”

  “It’s not a toy we’re talking about here. This little baby will grow up. There’ll be school, doctors, child care. There are a million things that could go wrong, Nick. I’ve never been around children. Ever.
I never baby-sat, none of my friends have kids. What if I screw it up?”

  “You?”

  She nodded, and he saw her eyes grow moist with tears. He pulled her close once more, angry at himself for not realizing she’d be so scared. It never occurred to him, not with Jessica. She was so strong. So smart. “Jessica?”

  She nodded on his chest.

  “No child could wish for a better mother. Whatever happens, you’ll be ready. You’ll handle it. We’ll handle it.”

  “Will we?”

  “Yes. Together.”

  “But...”

  “Shhh. No more worries. Not tonight. Tonight is for joy. For celebration. Tomorrow is time enough to worry.”

  She sighed again, and he felt her muscles relax.

  “Now, how about that dinner? So we can’t have champagne. We can toast our luck with sparkling water.”

  Once more, she pulled back. “I don’t think I can,” she said. “I’m awfully tired.”

  He studied her face. She’d never really gotten her color back. “Of course. But you should eat.”

  “I’ll have some soup a little later.”

  “I can cook that for you.”

  “No, thank you. I think I just want to rest for a bit.”

  He didn’t want to leave her. But there were those phone calls. And she did look like some sleep would do her good. He leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Tomorrow, we celebrate, eh?”

  She nodded. “Sure.”

  He looked at her for another moment. The mother of his child. So beautiful. Of all the women in the world, he was glad this had happened with Jessica.

  SLEEP WOULDN’T COME. She’d been in bed for two hours, but her brain wouldn’t stop spinning. She kept thinking about Nick’s reaction. His unabashed happiness. His complete lack of understanding.

  How could he not realize how complicated this was? He lived in Rome. When he was home, that is. Most of the time he was somewhere else. Sure, he came to Los Angeles, but not that often. The lion’s share of responsibility for the baby was going to be hers. She’d be the one to get up nights, to make all the hundreds of daily decisions, to cope with any problems that came up.

  Nick would undoubtedly want her and the baby to come to Rome. That would completely disrupt their lives. What about work? What about—

  Oh, this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. She turned over and hugged her pillow. All her life, she’d imagined the day she’d get pregnant. But in her dreams, she was married. To a man who loved her. Whom she loved in return. They lived in the same city. Certainly the same country.

  Her life was turning out all wrong. All because of one mistake. All because she’d listened to her heart Now it was happening again. This traitorous heart of hers was telling her sweet lies. That Nick wanted to marry her. That she and the baby would be so important to him that he’d give up his precious flying.

  That he loved her, not just the child they’d created.

  For the first time in five years, Jessica wept.

  Chapter Six

  Jessica finished the budget for the Wilkins’s house and saved it on her computer. Yawning yet again, she wished that caffeine wasn’t on her list of no-nos. The herbal tea just wasn’t cutting it after her sleepless night.

  A knock on her office door made her turn. Jeff walked in without preamble. “How are you this morning, sunshine?” he asked as he plopped himself into her big club chair. “I hope you feel better than you look.”

  “Thanks so much.”

  “If you won’t get the colonic, then you have to do vitamins. I can set you up with my nutritionist this afternoon. She’ll get rid of that bug you’ve got in a minute. I tell you, she’s a miracle worker.”

  “I already take vitamins, Jeffrey, but thank you just the same.”

  “Jessie, girl, you are more stubborn than Paul’s cowlick, and honey, that’s stubborn.”

  “It’s just one of the things that makes me special,” she said, smiling brightly.

  Jeff grunted.

  She laughed, but then that’s what Jeff did. He had a knack for making her laugh. One of the best designers in the country, he wasn’t at all the pretentious snob he could have been. According to Paul, the youngest and most recent addition to the firm, Jeff was hurting business by not living up to the stereotype. But Jeff wouldn’t be Jeff if he did anything that wasn’t completely true to his nature. Good hearted, generous, he was the complete opposite of a prima donna. Despite Paul’s conviction, their client list was as healthy as she could have hoped for.

  It didn’t hurt that Jeff was also gorgeous. At six foot six, his body was a living testament to the benefits of a personal trainer. Blond and blue-eyed, he had once, briefly, been a model, and for good reason. But again, he didn’t let his good looks go to his head. Pursued by men and women on a daily basis, he and his partner had been together for eight years. It was the healthiest relationship Jessica had ever seen.

  “So what’s on your agenda today, sweetheart?” Jeff asked.

  “Nothing glamorous. Just another budget, some phone calls and banking.”

  “Yech,” he said. “Sounds like you need a great lunch to counteract all that tedium.”

  “Just because you don’t have the use of your left brain, doesn’t mean that I don’t.”

  “And I admire you terribly for it, but that doesn’t negate the fact that accounting is boring as sh—”

  “Jeff, go design something, will you?”

  “Not until you tell me you’ll come with me to lunch. I’m worried about you, pumpkin. You don’t look good.”

  She thought about just telling him the truth. But the other guys would be furious if they found out she’d spilled the beans to Jeff first. The announcement would have to be made when everyone was present and accounted for. “Not today, okay? Tomorrow, maybe.”

  He scowled at her, but then he got up and went to the door. “Will you at least go to your own damn doctor?” he said.

  She nodded. “It’s a promise.”

  “I mean this week. Not next year.”

  She crossed her heart.

  “Okay, then.”

  She picked up her mug, but suddenly tea didn’t appeal. Nothing much did. What she needed was sleep, and some time to herself. Time to get her thoughts together. To figure out the wisest course of action for her and for the baby. But she wasn’t going to get that. If she knew Nick, he’d be leaving town soon, and she wanted to get as much settled before he left as she could. His euphoria had surely lessened overnight. He’d undoubtedly realized that their having a baby wasn’t exactly a dream come true for either of them. She also hoped he realized that it wasn’t a disaster, either, just a little complicated.

  As for her, she’d had to keep reminding herself that Nick had not proposed. He’d not declared his love for her. In fact, not one thing had changed. The best thing that could happen was for Nick to leave so she could get over him once and for all. Only then could this situation have a happy ending. They’d be friends, and it wouldn’t break her heart each time she had to talk to him.

  Jessica opened her briefcase and pulled out the yellow pad she’d worked on last night. She’d listed all the possible scenarios for her, Nick and the baby. Her first choice was to keep the child here, and for Nick to set up regular visitation schedules. In addition, when the baby was older, she’d take one trip to Rome a year. She wouldn’t want to deprive her baby of its Italian heritage, after all.

  Second choice was for Nick to visit when he could. She wasn’t crazy about the idea of him dropping by whenever, but it wasn’t a deal breaker.

  After that, it got tricky. He could insist the baby spend more time in Rome. He could—

  “Buon giorno, Jessica.”

  She spun around in her chair. Nick stood in her doorway, smiling that same wacky smile he’d worn yesterday. Her chest tightened and she could feel her heart pound, as if that smile were meant for her instead of the baby. It was foolish, but at least she knew what was going on. Her
heart and her mind had completely different agendas. One to be trusted, the other to be tolerated until she could figure out how to deal with it.

  But it wasn’t easy. The fluttering in her tummy wasn’t morning sickness. It was Nick sickness. The heat on her cheeks was very real, even though it wasn’t logical. And her desire to run to his arms was hard to resist. Too hard.

  As he came toward her, she noticed the package in his arms. It was wrapped in pretty blue paper, all tied with a bow. She couldn’t stop her smile.

  “You look beautiful, angelo mio. I hope this means you’re feeling beautiful, too?”

  She nodded. “I’m better today, thank you.” Her gaze kept slipping to his gift.

  “Yes,” he said, holding it out to her. “It’s for you.”

  Eagerly, she took it from him. She loved presents. She hadn’t received a lot of them in her life, and although it wasn’t dignified, and totally unlike her usual self, she couldn’t help tearing the paper in her haste to see what was inside.

  Nick laughed, but she didn’t care. Maybe it was the child inside her that made her toss the wrapping to the floor, rip the tape, fling the box top to her desk. But then she slowed to peel back the tissue.

  The sleep shirt was blue, very pale, very pretty. And so tiny it was hard to comprehend that it would fit on a real live baby instead of a doll. She lifted it carefully, marveling at the softness, the workmanship. Then she saw the little booties.

  The lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. She felt astonishingly touched, and at the same time a little scared. It was all real, wasn’t it? She was actually going to have a baby. Nick’s baby.

  “You like?”

  She nodded, unable to speak for the moment. Her fingers caressed the miniature slippers, while her gaze went to Nick.

  He beamed at her. His dark eyes filled with a happiness so unguarded she felt like a voyeur. If only that happiness were for her...No. She wasn’t going to go there. “Grazie,” she said, her voice a little shaky.

  He leaned down and kissed her very softly on the lips. “Prego,” he whispered.

  “What’s all this?”

  Jessica leaned sideways as Nick stood up and turned toward her door. “You remember Alan and Jeff, don’t you, Nick?”