Mollie McQueen is NOT Getting Divorced

by Lacey London

  ‘Are you okay?’ Mollie asked, peering up at Max in alarm. ‘You look a little green.’

  ‘I’m fine.’ Wiping his brow on his sleeve, he clapped his hands together to gear himself up. ‘It’s just food. I’ve got this. I’ve got this. I’ve got this…’

  Slowly reaching for the steak, Max pierced the packaging with a knife and immediately recoiled. The look of sheer horror on his face made Mollie wince as he continued with his attempts to tackle his nemesis.

  ‘Just leave it.’ She said authoritatively, stepping in and placing the offending ingredients back into the fridge. ‘You don’t need to do this.’

  ‘I do!’ Max protested weakly, reaching for the fridge.

  ‘No, you don’t.’ Taking his hand in hers, Mollie pulled him towards her. ‘The fact that you would do it is more than enough for me. Besides, cooking steak to prove that you love me is like me catching the huge spider that has taken over the bath to prove that I love you.’

  Max laughed and hung his head as Mollie kissed his cheek.

  ‘You’re not going to ask me to do that, are you?’ She asked, recognising that he seemed to be considering it.

  ‘No, but I do have an idea.’

  ‘As long as it doesn’t involve arachnids or those dreaded soya burgers, I’m in.’ Mollie replied, beaming at Max.

  ‘Then you’re in luck…’ Leading Mollie into the living room, Max pointed at the two gaming controllers on the coffee table.

  The infamous PlayStation. Mollie should have known. It was the one thing that caused the most arguments in their relationship, and therefore the perfect thing to tackle with her new-found outlook on her marriage.

  ‘Let’s do it.’ She said enthusiastically, taking one of the controllers and jumping onto the sofa. ‘But don’t be going easy on me. Winning will feel twice as good if I know you’re really trying.’

  As Max broke into a grin and immediately rushed over to the television to set things up, Mollie felt a sense of happiness settle in her stomach.

  ‘Are you ready?’ He asked, diving onto the sofa beside her. ‘The loser has to make dinner.’

  ‘Agreed. Prepare to get cooking…’

  Before she could finish her sentence, Mollie recoiled as the sounds she knew and hated flooded out of the speakers. Trying to hide her disliking of the horrendous noise, Mollie did her best to drown it out and positioned her fingers on the controller.

  ‘You’re red. I’m blue.’ Max said excitedly, already pressing buttons. ‘X is shoot and O is… Yes!’

  ‘Yay!’ Mollie whooped, waving her hands in the air to celebrate with him. ‘Don’t get too comfortable. I’m coming for you.’

  Attempting to keep up with the speed of Max’s players, Mollie wondered if he would mind if she wore earplugs. As much as she wanted to enjoy their gaming session, or at the very least, discover the slightest amount of pleasure from it, Mollie despised every single second.

  ‘You really hate this, don’t you?’ Max chuckled, as though reading her mind.

  ‘No.’ Mollie lied.

  Signalling for him to continue playing the game, Mollie forced herself to smile.

  ‘Remember the one thing Evangelina asked from us?’ Max said seriously, placing his controller on the sofa. ‘It’s all about the honesty now.’

  ‘Alright.’ Mollie groaned. ‘I do hate this. I hate the screeching noises. I hate the stupid soundtrack that is far too loud even on the lowest setting. I hate the way the controller vibrates in your hands. I hate that you can hear other players groaning like hippopotamuses, and I hate that I don’t know what the hell I am doing.’

  Mollie smiled guiltily and passed him her controller.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She said. ‘I wanted to like it, but it’s just like you and steak. The PlayStation and I aren’t ever going to get along.’

  ‘Then it’s a good job you don’t have to.’ Max replied cheerily. ‘I just wanted to see how long you lasted.’

  ‘Longer than you and the steak.’ Batting him with a cushion, Mollie breathed a sigh of relief as Max turned the television off.

  ‘So, if cooking and gaming are both off the table, what do you want to do this evening?’ He asked, glancing at his watch. ‘It’s still early.’

  Letting out a yawn, Mollie stretched her arms over her head.

  ‘What I would really like to do is get in bed, forget about dinner and watch an old black and white movie, just like we used to. What do you say?’

  As Mollie smiled at Max expectantly, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her closely.

  ‘You know what, Mollie McQueen? That sounds pretty bloody perfect to me…’

  Chapter 33

  After two hours of watching It’s a Wonderful Life, Mollie felt as though she had turned back the clock. If she didn’t know any better, she would have believed that they had returned to their old apartment. That they had travelled back to a time when they barely left the bedroom. To a period of their lives when they were too loved-up to notice each other’s faults, and too happy to care if they did. Those days, when nothing else mattered othered than being together, were the happiest times of Mollie’s life, and as she snuggled into Maximilian’s nook, she relished in reliving them.

  ‘Happy?’ Max asked, running his fingers along Mollie’s spine.

  ‘Very.’ Mollie answered. ‘Ecstatic, in fact.’

  Max grinned back at her as they slipped further beneath the sheets.

  ‘I can’t tell you how good it feels to be in a proper bed again.’ He said gratefully, reaching behind him and rubbing the bottom of his back. ‘That camp bed has been killing me.’

  Casting the old camp bed a quick glance, Mollie frowned at the battered mattress before turning back to Max.

  ‘I think it’s time we put that thing back in the basement, don’t you?’ She said, much to Max’s surprise. ‘It’s done its job. There’s no point in it cluttering the bedroom any longer. This room is small enough as it is.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Max asked cautiously. ‘I don’t want us to rush into anything. We don’t want to run before we can walk…’

  ‘If you spend another night on that thing, you won’t be able to walk at all, let alone run.’ Mollie teased, loving the feeling of having a warm husband next to her.

  ‘I can’t argue with that.’ Wrapping his arms around Mollie, Max inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

  ‘Let’s do it now.’ Mollie said suddenly, wriggling out of Max’s grip. ‘You get one end. I’ll get the other.’

  ‘Wait a minute.’ Pulling her back to him, Max reached into his bedside table and produced two small boxes. ‘Before we do that…’

  Mollie gave him a questioning look as he opened one of the boxes to reveal her bridal set. The large opal glistened under the light from the television, and Mollie felt a stab of guilt for ever allowing herself to take them off.

  ‘I’d like you to have these back, if you don’t think it’s too soon?’ Max whispered.

  Without hesitation, Mollie held out her hand and smiled as Max slipped the gold rings back onto her finger where they belonged. The sense of happiness that rushed through her veins was even more intense than the first time Max had presented her with the same jewellery. This time, he wasn’t doing it simply because that’s what is expected when you propose to a person or say I do. He was doing it because despite her flaws and shortcomings, Max loved her enough to stay, and that meant more to Mollie than any wedding dress or bog-standard vows ever could.

  ‘Thank you.’ Mollie replied, struggling to tear her eyes away from her finger. ‘They’re even more beautiful than I remember.’

  ‘That’s because they are, but I have to give credit to the jeweller for that.’ Max admitted. ‘After spending the night in fish poop, they weren’t looking their best.’

  Hoping that he wasn’t referring to the jewellery shop on Spire Lane, Mollie smiled back at him.

  ‘I’m sorry about that.’ She said apologetically. ‘That was a little extreme.
’

  ‘Extreme?’ Max repeated. ‘To be quite honest, I thought you would do much worse.’

  ‘Worse?’ Mollie exclaimed. ‘Like what?’

  ‘Flushed them down the toilet… Sold them on eBay… Had them melted down and made into a toe ring to prove I’m a toerag.’

  ‘I did consider it.’ Mollie giggled.

  ‘Which one?’

  ‘All three!’

  The pair of them laughed together as the credits started to roll on the television.

  ‘Where’s your ring?’ Mollie asked, opening the other box and discovering it was empty.

  Without saying a word, Max reached across the bed and pulled his keys out of his jacket pocket. The familiar bunch of keyrings jangled in his hands as he rifled through the novelty souvenirs and held out a plain gold band.

  ‘You’ve had it on your keys all this time?’ Mollie gasped, taking it from him and turning it over in her hands. ‘Why?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Shrugging his shoulders, Max looked at his left hand guiltily. ‘I suppose I just didn’t want to be without it.’

  A pang of sadness hit Mollie as she looked at Max’s wedding ring nestled amongst the tacky keepsakes from Marbella and a bunch of tatt that came out of last year’s Christmas crackers. Carefully removing the band from the metal loop, Mollie polished the ring on her sleeve before holding out her hand for Max’s.

  ‘It feels so good to have them back.’ He said happily, smiling as Mollie slipped the ring onto his finger. ‘Doesn’t it?’

  ‘It sure does.’ Silently promising herself to never take them off, Mollie entwined her fingers with Max’s. ‘It’s like getting married all over again.’

  ‘Our wedding was one hell of a party, wasn’t it?’ Max mused, keeping his gaze fixed on his ring. ‘We should do that again sometime. Marriage is for life, it’s only fair you get to continue the party.’

  ‘That’s not a bad idea...’ Twisting her hair into a bun, Mollie sat up straight as a thought suddenly hit her. ‘We should throw a party to mark this new phase in our lives. We’ve completed the first stage of the therapy. We’ve got our rings back. We’re starting again. So, why not do it in style?’

  ‘A we’re getting back together party?’ Max asked.

  ‘No. A we’re not getting divorced party.’ Mollie corrected, pulling the duvet over their heads and rubbing her nose against his. ‘So, what do you say?’

  Chapter 34

  ‘We’re going to need a bigger bag.’ Mollie said, resting her hands on her hips and frowning at the clutter in front of her. ‘This place is more of a mess than I realised...’

  Not being able to disagree with her, Max sloped into the kitchen to retrieve yet more bin bags. After spending a few days enjoying relaying the foundations of their marriage, Max and Mollie had slipped back into a rather cosy routine. Said routine involved lavishing one another with cute text messages, rustling up home-cooked meals in the kitchen and proclaiming their love for one another at every opportunity, but today was the day of their hastily planned party and the McQueen house required some intense clearing up.

  Due to the chaos of the past couple of weeks, their usual household chores had taken a back seat, and as such, Max and Mollie had a rather large task on their hands.

  ‘I brought the entire roll.’ Max said, returning to the living room with a string of refuse sacks.

  ‘Thanks.’ Accepting the roll, Mollie tore off a bag and started to toss the aftermath of Max’s latest gaming sessions into it. ‘Do you need this?’

  Max studied the rubber ball that Mollie was holding over the open bin bag and smiled.

  ‘I’ve been making that ball for the past three years.’ He said proudly, taking it from Mollie. ‘You know how the postman delivers our mail wrapped in a rubber band?’

  Mollie nodded and continued to stuff junk into the bag as he spoke.

  ‘Well, every day I have added those bands to this ball. Pretty cool, huh?’

  ‘Very.’ Mollie lied. ‘I take it you’re going to want to keep hold of that then?’

  Nodding in response, Max placed it on the sofa out of harm’s way and crushed an old pizza box.

  ‘They’ll be a lot less of these now.’ He mused, cramming the cardboard into the sack. ‘Eating meals together is one of our core rules, remember?’

  ‘How could I forget?’ Mollie replied, grinning as she gathered a stash of flattened cereal boxes.

  ‘I need those!’ Quickly snatching the boxes from Mollie before she could tear them up, Max clutched them to his chest protectively.

  ‘They’re only empty cornflake boxes.’ Mollie laughed. ‘What are you planning on doing with them? Building a man cave?’

  Laughing along with her, Max shuffled the boxes and motioned for Mollie to sit down.

  ‘What is it?’ She asked, perching on the arm of the sofa. ‘Can’t it wait? Guests will be arriving in a few hours and look at this place!’

  ‘This will only take a minute.’ Pulling the coffee table towards him, Max displayed the cereal boxes in some type of order. ‘Trust me. It will be totally worth it.’

  Mollie tapped her fingers impatiently as Max continued to swap and change the order of the boxes.

  ‘Okay.’ He said finally, rubbing his hands together. ‘Turn one over. That one, on the top left.’

  Doing as he instructed, Mollie reached down and turned over the box in question. Discovering it was covered in Max’s messy handwriting, she squinted at the scribbles and tried to make sense of the chaos.

  ‘What is it?’ She asked, inching closer to the table as Max flipped over the remaining boxes.

  ‘This is the start of my latest business venture.’ Max replied, his voice high with excitement.

  Forcing a smile, Mollie reminded herself of Evangelina’s advice. As lovely and as perfect as the last few days had been, Mollie was very aware that the biggest elephant in their marriage was yet to be addressed. The subject of Max’s career hadn’t come up between them since their last therapy session, but she was under strict instructions to be supportive and encouraging when it did.

  Attempting to erase all her memories of onion bhaji delivery services, edible toilet paper enterprises and anything else equally ridiculous, Mollie braced herself for what she was about to hear.

  ‘Okay…’ She said positively. ‘So, tell me. What is it?’

  Without hesitating, Max stood up and paced back and forth in front of the fireplace.

  ‘I’ve been working on this for months now, but with everything that’s been going on between us, it just didn’t feel right to bring it up.’ He babbled, speaking twice as fast as usual. ‘I had an idea a while back about… packed lunches.’

  ‘Packed lunches?’ Mollie repeated, her heart sinking.

  ‘Stay with me!’ Max said quickly, recognising the look of dismay on Mollie’s face. ‘I’m going somewhere with this, I swear.’

  With Evangelina’s voice ringing in her ears, Mollie smiled and pursed her lips.

  ‘Go on…’

  ‘So, packed lunches.’ Max continued. ‘With approximately two out of three workers taking a packed lunch with them on a daily basis, the packed lunch is still very much in demand. Of this sixty-six percent of workers, almost all of them have encountered at least one instance where their lunch has been stolen by co-workers. With that in mind, I bring you this…’

  Lifting one of the boxes, Max retrieved a plastic sandwich bag and held it out for Mollie to inspect.

  ‘This is the Anti-Theft Sandwich Bag. Name to be confirmed.’

  Taking the bag, Mollie grimaced when she noticed it was covered in what appeared to be mould. On closer inspection, she discovered the clear plastic had been printed with numerous green splodges, giving the illusion that the contents inside were well and truly past their sell-by date.

  ‘No one is going to take a rotting sandwich.’ Max said proudly. ‘In tests carried out by my associates, not a single sandwich that was in one of my bags was stolen.’


  ‘It’s certainly clever, Max.’ Mollie said, hating to admit that she was ever so slightly impressed.

  ‘Do you really think so?’

  ‘I do. I’m just not sure how much of a demand there is for something like this.’ Not wanting to rain on his parade, Mollie ensured to keep her voice optimistic. ‘Can you really imagine people buying these?’

  ‘I can, and more importantly, so can my investor.’ Max said seriously. ‘So much so that he wants me to create an entire line of novelty ideas for a quirky website he’s just launched. The more out-there the better. Believe it or not, he even liked my edible toilet paper idea.’

  For the first time in her life, Mollie McQueen was completely speechless.

  ‘So, what does this mean for you?’ She eventually managed, fingering the plastic bag in awe.

  ‘It means that he wants to welcome me on board his team as a Creative Influencer.’ Max whispered, taking a step towards Mollie. ‘It means a percentage of the profits for my designs, an attractive pension plan and a salary that could rival yours.’

  Still lost for words, Mollie blinked repeatedly.

  ‘Well?’ Max pressed. ‘Say something!’

  ‘I don’t know what to say!’ Mollie stammered, laughing in disbelief. ‘It just sounds too good to be true!’

  ‘Which part?’ He asked. ‘The part where I’ve finally found a proper job, or the part where someone genuinely believes in my ideas?’

  Looking down at the sandwich bag once more, Mollie stood up and walked around the coffee table.

  ‘Your ideas are unconventional, Max, there’s no getting away from that.’ She admitted honestly. ‘And they’re not to my taste, that’s for sure...’

  A flicker of disappointment hit Max’s eyes as he took the bag from her.

  ‘But what the hell do I know?’ Mollie continued, reaching up and draping her arms around his neck. ‘You have proved me wrong, Maximilian McQueen, and I’ve never been happier to be wrong in all my life.’