by Ashley Hall
Karen was smiling at me kindly, and I knew she was waiting for a response.
"Learning to talk and walk again was a breeze after all of that sleep," I joked, forcing a smile that had to look fake. I hadn't the strength to really try anymore. Hope for the future? Maybe a little bit. More like terrified.
"You inspire me." Karen shook her head, and her short blonde hair flew forward to cover her cheeks. She had several years on me, in her early thirties. The best the doctors and I could guess was that I was in my mid-twenties. Another unknown; my birthdate. "I don't know if I could have been as strong as you've been through all of this."
I plopped down in the chair next to the window. It wasn't comfortable, but there was a small part of me that wanted to delay going, now that the time to leave had come. "I'm nothing special," I protested.
"I think you're wrong. Not everyone would've survived what you did. Well, gather your clothes and meds and go on your way. You have your whole life ahead of you, Sky. I know you'll make the most of it." Karen hugged me, warm and welcoming, then left the room, leaving me once again all alone.
I remained sitting there for a long moment, gazing out the window again. When I had first woken, the doctors had asked for my name, but I couldn't even talk. My throat had been so dry, my entire body in pain, and I could hardly think, let alone vocalize anything more than a groan.
After therapy when more time had passed, they asked me for my name again. Of course, I still didn't remember. The first thing I saw when I looked around the room was the beautiful sky outside. I'd answered, "Sky," without even thinking about it, and now the name had grown on me.
Hopefully, one day, I could remember who I was and where I came from. Was I far from home? Could that be why no one has tried to locate me? Did I have a family? Any brothers or sisters? A boyfriend? Or maybe no one was looking for me. An orphan and an only child, with no one to wonder where I was, no one to worry. God, that was a depressing thought. And my job, what had been my profession? I had a job, right? By now, my boss must have replaced me. Too much time has passed. No job, no apartment or house to stay in, nowhere to go… If I couldn't find someone from my past, how could I ever learn who I had been?
These questions and many more had plagued me every night, interrupting my sleep and fouling my mood. I kept my feelings and depression to myself, always trying to channel my frustration into my therapy sessions. It helped to some extent, and the doctors had been impressed by my outlook and my recovery. But inside, I was troubled, always wondering if these feelings would fade with time.
But right now wasn't about the past. It was about what the future held for me, and the fact that I was leaving the hospital with nothing but the clothes on my back and a bag full of Tylenol and Advil that Karen had given to me in case I had any more headaches. Nothing else. I didn't have money for any other medicine, not that I thought I would need anything stronger, but that was just one more thing to worry about. I had to pay for the hospital bill and for physical therapy. If I had been able to, I would've only needed outpatient physical therapy, but since I had nowhere to go, inpatient it was. Which, of course, meant that the amount I would owe was that much more astronomical. I had to find a place to live and a job immediately, but without a work history, what place would want to hire me?
Trying to shut my brain up and stop thinking, I grabbed the bag, shoved the signed discharge papers inside, and made my way to the elevator bank and the front doors. They opened automatically for me, and I was free. For the first time that I could remember, I was outside, breathing the fresh Louisiana air.
All I wanted to do was rush back inside, find a corner to hide in, and not move. My body had been shut down for so long that my first instinct was to run away. But I could do this. I could be strong. After all, I could walk again. I had survived the car accident, and I liked to think that I survived for a reason. I just had to find out what that reason was.
Take a deep breath. You can do this. It's just like when you were holding onto the railing to learn how to walk. One foot in front of the other. Don't be a coward, Sky. Don't you dare cry.
There were no railings in life, and I didn't need no freakin' training wheels either. So what if I had nowhere to go, no money, and no friends? I'd think of something.
By the time I reached the end of the block, the clouds had ripped open, and rain drenched me. You have got to be freakin' kidding me.
Could this get any worse?
There had to be a place I could lay low in until the rain stopped. Maybe a small restaurant… if the hostess wouldn't kick me out because I wasn't a paying customer. Besides, if I waited for the rain to stop—which didn't seem like that would happen anytime soon—it could be dark, and I sure didn't want to be walking around the streets alone at night. If I could just find a homeless shelter… Should've thought to ask Karen about the nearest one before I left. Too late now.
The storm made the night come so much quicker than it should've, not that I had a watch on to know what time it was. Clutching my bag to my chest, I quickened my pace. There were a few restaurants on this street, stores too, but I bypassed them all. I needed to find shelter for the entire night, not just an hour or so.
At least there were bright lights and people. I didn't feel quite so alone anymore, even if everyone around me were strangers. They were all passengers on this voyage we called life, and I felt a kind of kinship with them. Maybe that was silly, and maybe I was getting tired and delirious. A warm, comfortable bed sounded so good right now. I'd sleep for a week if I could.
My legs were already starting to get sore. Walking on treadmills hadn't prepared me for the uneven sidewalk, or the bumping of bodies crammed together on the narrow walkway. My balance was still a little off, but I managed to not fall despite the jostling.
A few people walked on the street to avoid the crowds, and I shuddered at the sight. No way would anyone catch me doing that. Being hit by a car wasn't something I ever wanted to relive.
Unfortunately, there were only a few awnings, and the rain continued to pour on me. Most of the crowd didn't seem to care, and why should they? They weren't alone and miserable. They had family and friends. They had money to buy clothes, food, or alcohol. They had homes to return to.
All I had were the clothes on my back, and they weren't even mine. Karen had gotten them for me since the clothes I had were too torn and bloodstained to be salvaged. I wished she didn't live in a cramped apartment, that she had room for me, but my life was my responsibility. I wasn't a mooch; I fucking hated that word.
I also wished my own raincloud of depression would just disintegrate.
It was disheartening to think that maybe I always suffered from depression. The doctors had run tests on me and determined that I did not suffer from any chronic physical conditions; my mental state was another issue. It felt like a tight blanket of self-loathing was suffocating me. The more I tried to ignore it or bury it deep inside of me, the more I felt it taking over me.
Even though my leg muscles were screaming from exhaustion, I picked up the pace, walking up one block and down another. Slowly, the crowd thinned out. The streetlights were farther and farther apart. It was getting harder to see the cracks in the sidewalk, and the rain just wasn't letting up at all. I almost fell at one point, and at another, I did, scraping my knees and palms. I climbed to my feet, brushed off the dirt, and kept on going. What choice did I have but to move on? Looking back wouldn't help any.
But maybe I should turn around and go back to where there were people. I could ask someone for directions to the nearest homeless shelter. I couldn't stop shivering, and at this point my teeth were chattering. It wasn't that cold out, but I felt as cold as ice.
Before I made it more than halfway back up the block, a van pulled up alongside me. The door opened.
Maybe my luck was finally turning around. I offered the man a wide smile. "Excuse me, sir, could you tell me—"
"Get in the van," he said, his voice gruff as he gestured violent
ly to the vehicle.
"What?" I backed up a step and almost fell again.
He lunged forward and grabbed my arm, so tight I cried out. The man was strong, and he jerked me around easily, trying to drag me inside.
My scream pierced the quiet drum of the rain.
Chapter Two
Shadow
I couldn't believe my eyes. No! It couldn't be her. No way. No way in hell. After so long? Why here? Why now?
Before I could ride my bike up the block to get a better look, a van pulled up, blocking my sight of the woman I could swear was Allie, the one woman whom I truly hated.
Just thinking about her made me want to punch something, kill someone. She was the last person on earth I wanted to see. Abandoning me after all we had been through together. Leaving me as if I was worthless. Saying I wasn't good for her. Please. As if she ever wanted me to be good.
I should just turn around and continue my routine patrol. Why should I bother with Allie when I wasn't sure it was her in the first place? Besides, even if she was Allie, she had been out of my life for months now. No way in fuckin' hell would I want her back in my life, not now, not ever.
But it was my self-imposed duty to stop sexual predators in their tracks. A little rain never stopped them from their crimes, and that van looked suspicious. As if to confirm my fears, a scream ripped through the air. A scream I knew. A scream I recognized. It was Allie all right. Normally when I heard her scream, she was calling out my name. Visions of us tangled together quickly filled my mind: in the bedroom, in the kitchen, on countertops, or in the shower… Now was not the time for this!
This was anything but a scream of ecstasy. This one was pure terror.
I jerked my bike to the right, nearly hitting the curb, straining to get a better view. A guy was trying to drag her into the van.
No way in hell.
Before I could even think about it, I raced up the street, my bike vibrating with as much intensity as I was. I quickly disengaged the ignition and jumped off. Allie was struggling with the guy, but she was losing. She was halfway inside the van by the time I yanked on the back of her ill-fitting shirt.
Her head jerked around, her eyes wild with terror.
The man grabbing her stared at me too, hatred twisting his features. He wasn't a good-looking guy, and his sneer made him downright hideous. "I saw her first."
"You better fucking leave her the hell alone." I yanked on her shirt so hard she stumbled backward, half falling out of the van. Down she went, onto the sidewalk.
The guy lunged to seize her again, but I had stepped forward, putting my body between them. My hands gripped his shirt collar. He was a big guy, with maybe fifty pounds on me, but every one of those pounds was fat. I worked out at the gym religiously, and years of weightlifting had corded my body into solid muscle. He was no match for me, but I welcomed the challenge.
Of course, Fatso decided to use his weight to his advantage. I tried to lift him out of the van so I could teach him some manners, but he shifted his weight forward and almost knocked me on my ass. I didn't fall, despite the torrents of rain making it hard to hold my ground. I backed up enough that he was now out of the van, too. My hands still had a firm grip on his collar, and I let go with one hand so I could slug him in the face. He jerked as if struck by lightning, obviously not used to taking a punch. What a wimp. Preying on women because they were weaker. Can't hide your weakness now. Not from me.
The guy tried to head-butt me, but he was too slow. I darted to the right, moving my feet like a boxer, fists raised. "Why not pick on someone your own size?" I asked with a sneer.
"Why not mind your own business?" The guy glowered at me. His right cheek was already swelling from my first jab. My fists itched to strike him again. He deserved it.
By now, the driver had climbed out of the van and was heading toward me. No, not for me. For Allie. She was still crumpled on the sidewalk, looking like a frightened deer, unable to move. She had lost weight since I'd last seen her and—
While I was distracted, a fist came flying toward my face. I ducked under the blow and dove at Fatso's midsection. His back slammed into the side of the van, causing it to rock back and forth. I left him there, blinking and shaking his head dazedly, and jerked around to see the driver gripping Allie's arm. For some reason, I couldn't hear her screams or whimpers. Her mouth was moving and so was the driver's, but I was too full of rage to hear them.
Like a bull, I charged toward them. A grunt blew out of my mouth as I collided with the driver. My hearing came back and I could hear Allie's gasp and the driver's groan as I drove his shoulder hard into the sidewalk. I grabbed his right arm and twisted it painfully up behind his back. I bent down so my lips were near his ear.
"Don't you ever come 'round these parts again, do you hear me?" I shouted.
He struggled and tried to clasp his other hand around my wrist, but I grabbed that hand and forced his fingers back until I felt a pop. The driver screamed like a little girl.
Allie was screaming too. Fatso was back at it again, yanking on her arm. She was slapping at him, crying, and hysterical.
Damn it all. Why couldn't these guys realize it was futile, that they weren't getting their prize tonight? If they pushed me too far, there was no telling what could happen to them. I didn’t care about their lives. They were worthless scum. They didn't deserve to live.
Leaving the driver cradling his inured hand to his chest and his other arm dangling awkwardly from the dislocated shoulder, I tore after Fatso again. As he glanced at me, Allie tried to scratch his face, but he caught her wrist and pressed his body against hers.
Disgust filled me and I channeled all my rage into my fist. It connected with his temple, spinning him around. Down he fell, forward, into the van. The driver did his best to shove his partner inside the van; however, with a dislocated shoulder on one side and several broken fingers on the other hand, this was no easy feat.
While he struggled with Fatso, I turned to face Allie. By now, she had managed to get to her feet. It was so surreal to be standing next to her after so much time. She was shivering, maybe from the rain or maybe from fear. A part of me hated her, would always hate her. Another part of me hated me for wanting to wrap my arms around her, to whisper in her ear, to tell her… What was there to say?
Nothing.
Without a word, I grabbed her arm—a lot gentler than those thugs had been with her, but maybe just a little bit rough, too. I was still angry with her. Sighing and hating myself for being weak, I pulled her onto the back of my motorcycle. She hadn't said anything either, which was probably for the best. What the hell had she been thinking, walking around these parts all by herself at night in the pouring rain?
Whatever.
Her arms wrapped around me, and I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering how many times we'd ridden places together before. Things used to be so perfect. Well, as close to perfect as they could be when you were carrying around as much baggage as I was. Allie had always helped with that, helped me to forget. Without her, these past months had been more hellish than ever. Not that I couldn't survive without her. I could. It just wasn't easy.
I wheeled the bike around and took off, tearing up the street just as the van was finally driving away in the opposite direction. Speeding through the night, taking tight turns, going down narrow alleys, I got us to the clubhouse as quickly as I could while also making sure we were not followed. Having her pressed up against my back, her arms locked around my chest, had me remembering all the times we had fucked. And damn it all, if I wasn't getting hard, my balls aching with the need for release.
The rain was just stopping when I parked. I had to help Allie off the motorcycle. She was trembling again, glancing around like a frightened child, eyes wide, jaw lowered. When she looked at me, she immediately dropped her gaze.
"What is it?" I grumbled, crossing my arms and leaning against my bike. "Weren't expecting to see me, huh?"
"See you?" Her voice was a littl
e frantic. Her knees buckled, and she grabbed onto my handlebars to remain upright.
"Yeah, after so long." I jerked away from my bike to put some distance between us and shoved my hands into my tight jeans.
"You…" Her voice trailed off as she breathed heavily. Hell, she almost looked like she was ready to start crying. "Y-you know me?"
Her words are whispers, caught on the wind. I couldn't have heard her right. "What did you say?" I asked, but some of my gruffness was gone.
"You know me?" she repeated, louder, her voice more confident. Her face twisted into something like hope but also fear.
Fuck. I hated it when she looked at me with fear.
"Don't play stupid with me, Allie." I crossed my arms. My knuckles were bloodied. I hadn't realized that even happened. From one of my punches maybe. They hadn't started to hurt until now, but I welcomed the pain. It meant the other guys were feeling that much worse.
