To John

by Kim Itae

  "Four months, you said."

  "Yes. We will head for the total syncronization, so I can have a maternity leave with a fat bonus."

  "Does your brother know about this?"

  "No. He will kill me. I will tell him once the embryo is settled. Let's say two more weeks. The oil will hit 40 by then. He will have no option. He will follow you. Do you hear me?"

  "Yes."

  13 Jan 2015

  "Goldman Sachs 73.75→47.15, expected result."

  'How blind I am. What can I expect? A deformed baby. I miscarried one when I came back from Japan. I forgot that ruthless heavy bleeding. I went to A&E. I got four bottles of somebody else's blood. I cannot carry this. I forgot what I was intending. It was Chiristmas. It was Henry. I don't think I should do this. I will get morning pills. Not fair for anyone including the one who is not born yet. Did I ever dream about cosy pregnancy? No. Have I ever imagined myself as a huggy mother? No. Was I bored to death? No. Was I lonely? Possible. Will a deformed child make you less lonely? Sick. I am sick of me. The only one who knows about this is John. So, no problem. I will simply say it was mistaken. What else? what else? If morning pills do not work, I will go to GP and will tell him that why I cannot have a child. The radiation level. I will tell him. Henry knew this before we married. I told him. I told him not to expect a child from me. He said it's ok. He made a mistake.'

  For John, Ana wrote.

  "Peter, the Buddhist, game me his new mobile number. He said he is on the move."

  Ana wrote down a little diary for herself.

  'Unprecedented. Putting the last before the first. If I remember what I did today, I will be in a permanent shock state. I will forget and do the same thing again and again. I think I'm thick, cursed and lucky. Lucky? Hang on. Not sure about that. What did I do today? I bought morning pills and folic acid both. What did I actually do today? I moved a universe. My little universe, which can be synchronized with the big universe. I am two weeks and a day pregnant.'

  "Ana, are you ok? Carl."

  "I'm fine. Why?"

  "You are quiet."

  "I'm ok. And you?"

  "Fine. What's up?"

  "Nothing."

  "Ok. Let me know if you need any help."

  "Tanks."

  Ana did not like the ultra sensitive nose of her brother. He sensed something. And he got so angry when his girl friend had an abortion without telling him.

  'I should tell Henry. He has a right to know. He married me. God knows why. Autistic, radiated and, and what? He is out again for the company dinner. I will see him tomorrow morning.'

  14 Jan 2015

  "IMF gave US Fed a warning to postpone the interest rate increase."

  "IMF gave US a warning just before the government shutdown in 2013."

  "1.90% 45/barrel: countdown started: 13 days left."

  Something funny, Ana thought.

  'Former Goldman banker joins bond venture. Debt trading platform looks to resolve lack of liquidity in credit markets.'

  'Anyway, my motto for today: Enjoy the nice life while it lasts. Basically stand up or sit down. You have a shit almost every day but you don't think about it all day. Do you? If you do, you have a problem with your bowl movement.'

  A little paragraph from the Last Book, which Ana read time to time.

  'Energetically, you have to laugh until your belly button is out. Meaning: perfection of Ren Mai, conception vessel. Your umbilical cord was cut when you were born. In order to be reborn, this navel has to be sealed and the front line has to be connected.'

  Ana thought,

  'Nothing to laugh. I rather feel like I have ME syndromes. Too sleepy. Cannot think of anything properly. Is this that pregnancy brain?'

  Another little paragraph.

  'Six pillars from the heaven. Six types of energy (similar to quarks with different directions) are coming down. The earth is acting like a black hole as I am here. It contracts the energy from outer universe and from different dimensions. For us, human, when the energy is passing through, as the energy is so strong, it feels like metal bars are penetrating our body, including brain, eye balls, and vertebrae. In old days, people described them as monsters, devils or mysterious snakes or dragons. If the energy stays in the body, it disturbs brain activity and causes enormous, unidentified pain. In western term, it is called neuralgia, which means 'unidentified bunch of pain with unknown cause. In worst case, it can cause choking. Call me a Dyson. The principle is the same. Create vacuum with spinning for cleaning.'

  She took a nap and read some emails.

  "John, John, did you hear that about JPMorgan? Oh, dear... I know my friends complained about the legal f****** system there."

  "Good for us."

  "You mean you brits? Ho Ho... Schadenfreude."

  "What?"

  "They deserve it. If you remember what they did in 2011..."

  'In January 2011, JPMorgan Chase admitted that it wrongly overcharged several thousand military families for their mortgages, including active duty personnel in Afghanistan.' (Wikipedia)

  'One stumbling down. Three more left. Bank of America, Citigroup and Wells Fargo. Wells Fargo is as stinky as Warren Buffett. BoA and Citi got severely fined last year. Why not WF? I have to ask.'

  'Answer: Wells Fargo Securities was established in 2009... after 2008 credit crunch. Dirty dogs. They ate the shit. The shit was called Century Bank based in Dallas.'

  'The real question is why American government is choking their own banks so much. The answer is simple. They do need money. As there is not an apparent war, they cannot sell weapons. Oil trade got stuck. Companies are leaving... My question is why America still keeps NASA which is the product of cold war and the money-sucking monster. '

  She cooked some Pilau rice and Chicken Korma. Then she remembered.

  'Former Goldman banker joins bond venture. Debt trading platform looks to resolve lack of liquidity in credit markets: Why did I find this funny? Something funny. What was it? I simply cannot understand the phrase. It does not make sense. Everybody is ready to pack to leave. Resolve what? Resolve lack of liquidity? Where? In credit markets? I bet whoever wrote this had no idea about the reality or basic economic jargons. Bond venture? Darling, it's bond Ad-venture. There was someone who washed their hands the other day. There was someone quite famous. I can't remember the name. Thomas? No, he was killed. Who was it? Can't nimember. Am I going to be dumber and dumber? I didn't tell to Henry. I was about to tell him. But he said something like...'

  "What are you going to do todya? You seem to have rather a nice time. It won't last long."

  'He winked but he got on my nerves. His habitual and unnatural wink. So I did not tell him. I am waiting for a right time to shock him to death. A monster.'

  15 Jan 2015

  "10yr bond and oil decoupling. The end of the affair. 10yr is like Anna in Tolstoy's. She threw herself in the train track."

  'Knowledge needed to prevent Lehman repeat: Do not increase the interest rate until you cut the NASA budget in half.'

  "Morning, let's do some raking today, no?"

  'Financial Reporting Council is backed up by UK government. Meaning: they have an authority connected to HMRC. An undercover inspector and PR agent for secure investment plus tax benefits.'

  "If you do not break through today, find someone else to help you."

  A simple phrase from the Last Book.

  'Sorry to use you as an indicator. I like to see whether you are evolved enough to follow me. My show is over. It's my turn to see your show. Or did I see enough of it already? Then, why am I still here? It is not a question. I will decide. I know I can decide. My body will decide. The pain will decide. The pain comes from the difference between this world and the world where I came from. Too much pain? I can't stay. Simple.'

  "Ana, did you read the news? Properly? Carl."

  "Sort of."

  "Scan it again and report it to me."

  "You are not my boss."

  "If you k
now how much is on stake, I am."

  "I can't see anything else than FRC. Hang on, partial shutdown of space station. Not very interesting."

  "Tanks. Enough."

  Ana briefly thought,

  'It sounds like CIA joined to get rid of that useless NASA. Harmful leak... Get rid of it. You can get some cash to sort out a lot of problems. The second Lehman? This time, you will have a fecaloma, cancer in the rectum. Pain in the ass. Let's talk about the massive exodus of the clients.'

  'I did not know that Lehman was the fourth-largest investment bank in the US behind Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and Merrill Lynch.'

  'Who goes first this time? I don't think Henry can help this time.'

  From yesterday's news,

  'Former Goldman banker joins bond venture...'

  'Goldman Sachs? Perhaps. JP morgan got fined. Merrill Lynch is left.'

  'Merrill Lynch is the wealth management division of Bank of America. (Wikipedia) Oh dear.'

  The above are Ana's fragmented thoughts.

  "Carl, how much you deal, you cannot be my boss as I am holding your neck, Ana."

  16 Jan 2015

  "Credit Swisse has a database problem, which is more serious than the monetary policy."

  "I will keep my mobile, as Samsung will buy it."

  A paragraph from the book.

  'My right eye is full of fury. My left eye is full of sorrow. I have a split brain. When the two robes are connected, I turn into nothing, playing this repetitive mindless game of my own.'

  "I don't want to go back to that bloody sissy school."

  It was a girl's only boarding school.

  "I want to go to university."

  "Ana, you are only seven. Carl is seventeen."

  "He asked me to do his homework. He paid me for that. I can read his books."

  Ana had horrible time from both her mum and Carl that day.

  She remembered that day and sent a message to Carl.

  "If I work for you, how much you can pay me?"

  "Are you going to get divorced?"

  "No... I need an incentive. A real money."

  "How much is Henry's salary? I will pay the double."

  "Cool."

  Then Ana felt her heart sunk again. She opened the weird book randomly.

  'I will get used to my death. I heard someone said a year left. I thought I had just a day left. What the heck. Every day, I passed the death. Physically, the energy which went through my neck could have easily kill me if I wanted.'

  Ana thought the same thing.

  'What the heck.'

  That night she had an another heavy bleeding. She did not feel sad. She felt rather refreshed. She was glad that she did not tell Henry. She had to ask Henry how much he earns per a month.

  "Carl, you should give me some basic information too. Vice versa. Why did Barak call Dave a bro? Why did he let him stay at the Blair house? A mere prime minister used to stay at a embassy or a hotel, no?"

  "All about money."

  "I will wait for you. But what money?"

  "A lot of money, sis."

  'About the Swiss Franc, they deserve it. They are not the financial hub anymore. The details of their clients are exposed thanks to their negligence of keeping up the up to date technology. They are fucked. No wonder about that Swiss currency.'

  'My question: if you have a lot money, would you put it in one of Swiss banks? No. I saw the measurement policy of Switzerland today. Too volatile. I want somewhere more secure, more steady. With more technology, which can protect my money.'

  17 Jan 2015

  "What's this mess? I told you to wash your hands from the bond. Carl, are you demented?"

  "John, forget about that 4 months business. I am fine. Full stop."

  "Are you sure? You ok?"

  "I said fine. Actually I feel better. I got my brain back. See you tomorrow as usual. By the way, never mind the Swiss thingi. Just desperate they are as there was an exodus of their clients. Of coure if they have a problem with data base and they are negligent about it, who would stay?"

  "Still, take a good rest. I don't know about female stuffs. But I remember Kate ate a lot of steaks and spinach."

  "Ok."

  A simple phrase from the book.

  'I will take you with me. I die, you die. Can you wait for me?'

  Ana read something and she got it.

  'Something is explained here. I always wondered why Mark Carney is so restricted. I did not know that George is an aristocrat. I thought his name is Ozzy. As an aristocrat, of course, he has no idea what is going on. Will he keep the Bank of England in shadow as Brown did? Just watching their banks being gobbled up by sharks and their currency drowning in deep water? Can he understand what is like to decide to take the cap off and put your currency in a turmoil? £8 bn for banker's bonus? You're joking... Death of BOE... if you don't do something about the Sterling now, 2008 can be repeated. All the similar conditions are ready. Bubbles are there, Fischer is there, the chart is there. You cannot see what is coming?'

  She is glad that she is not pregnant any more. This kind of thing could easily trigger her to have a miscarriage.

  18 Jan 2015

  "I submitted my tax return 2014. And you?"

  'I do not know how to console me. There is this scary bottomless emptiness. No pleasure, no sadness, no joy, no anger, nothing. Actually very similar to clinical depression. My brain is still working so, it's different. What is this then? Or am I hoping that I am not depressed. In face, I am depressed. Shall I take some good quality anti-depressants?'

  Ana was in a not very pleasant mood. Post-miscarriage state. She did not know where that comes from. One of her friends sent an email with her new born boy. Ana sent a congratulation message and bought a jacket for the new born lovely boy. She felt weird. The jacket was indeed lovely. Quite expensive and well-tailored. Soft as hell. She did not miss her lost baby. Not at all. But she just felt weird and confused and depressed.

  4th Week Jan 2015

  19 Jan 2015

  "Mario explained QE to Angela."

  "After skyrocketing, it is still 1.84. Free fall expected. Faulty engine like GM."

  "Gradual stimaulation is way better than sudden shock. Look what Swiss had to do. CRP, breaking a few ribs."

  'We used to call him uncle Mario. He was goot at poker. We adored him. He happily played with us. We did his homework. I was seventeen.'

  "John, this can be an indivisual drill time with Carl."

  "Shit."

  "He will suck your souls out."

  "I have to go home. Kate will be there."

  "I said, individual."

  'My life is changed. Why can't I admit it? My old computer is not working anymore. Too old. Yuki is dead. Time to time something trigger me to remember him and made me frozen in time again. I am running like a dog and panting happily for those old sweet memories. It's gone. But is there anything wrong to miss him because he is dead? Because I married to someone else because he is dead?'

  20 Jan 2015

  "Euro QE is inevitable, not optional."

  "Up in the cloud, a certain memory pattern will trigger buying & selling. Trading Memory, so called. Analysing the volume, angle & duration. Hope it would work like a miracle. Testing was done. Morning, John."

  "ECB QE heaven."

  "Once bouncing back is started And settled, it will be quite unstoppable. + tax for 1% US riches really pisses off a lot of people."

  "Hit while the iron is hot. Is this right expression in English, John?"

  "I know what you mean."

  "You have to see the blue bit or the black bit in MN chart. Or the curving in the Alligator. You have to make it. The turning point. Then, a real miracle will follow. Partly for the TM, so it can repeat the impact in a near future. Do not think I am encouraging you. Volume 46902 was not a joke on 02/01/2105. Was Soros a joke? I am not working for my brother either. No personal account."

  "Why are you not happy, Ana?"

  "
I can see something negative."

  "What?"

  "Your attitude. You think you've done well and it's five o'clock to go home, man."

  "Anything wrong with it?"

  "Tomorrow morning, you can be dumped into the lower place if you don't make it tonight."

  "You will see."

  21 Jan 2015

  "George, show me your bold front."

  "Morning, Ana. Who is George?"

  "Your Chancellor of the Exchequer and an offspring of King Henry III."

  'He has to allow Carney to do exactly how he likes to do. He has to back him up if he does not want to follow the Gordon's footstep. Acutually there was no footstep. Gordon was sitting in the shadow, drooling while the crush was going on. Carney was hired for this. He saved Canada 2008. Anyway Steriling is so unattractive at the moment.'

  That was what was in Ana's mind an hour ago.

  Then again, she thought.

  'Maybe it is not his decision either. Market will decide.'

  'You have money. You are a customer, so called investor. Which product will you buy?

  For example, you have £100.

  1. a pair of Nike if possible

  2. 4 pairs of fake Nikes

  3. 12 pairs of whatever from Primark

  4. forget the shoes'

  Another case,

  'If you are running a factory of shoes, what kind of shoes are you going to produce?

  1. Nike

  2. fake Nike

  3. Shoe Zone

  4. Van'

  Gordon, with keloid from being whipped. (image from Wikipedia for 'keloid').

  'Keloid is fibrotic tumors, which can block the chi flow. For example, a woman had a sugical operation for 3rd degree tear after child birth. If she developed keloid around the rectum area, her governing vessel can be blocked as Du 1 is just behind the asshole and coccyx. She can have piles or mental disturbance as Du is governing the mental activity too. If a woman had a cesarian section and she developed keloid under her belly button, this can cause the blockage of Ren Mai. The blockage Ren can cause depression. Most of postnatal cases can belong to this and can be managed.' (The Last Book)

  "John, volume 359. What is this? Is this an English houmor?"

  "Let's have some fun while we are waiting for tomorrow. Or shall we bet?"