Always Remember

by Hestand, Rita

  It took a while to satiate the needs of lovers and then he pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. "God, I can’t believe you are more beautiful than you were. How can that be possible? You’ve grown into such a beauty. We’ve got to be married and fast."

  She flushed. "Come on in the kitchen with me and tell me about how things have been with you while I fix some good vitals for your men." She tempted.

  He set his hat on the chair in the kitchen and watched her move about, his loins filling with a need so great he couldn’t speak. Nevertheless, Josey was a lady, and his intentions were honorable.

  "So…" She began to get the pots ready and mixed the cornbread. "What news of the war, have you?" She asked still breathless from his kisses.

  He stared at her, drinking her in, his need to hold her so great he had to double his fists and make himself be still. "I don’t want to talk of war. I want to talk of love. Of loving you, needing you. I want to marry you, Josey. I don’t have much time. There’s not time to spend outside among the magnolias and pecans, to hold your hand and pretend the world could just sail by us. There’s every need to express myself plainly. I want…need…have to marry you. I won’t have you any other way, and I mean to have you before I leave. You will be mine…" He rasped gathering his breath.

  He watched her face go from shy to a deep blush and her eyes shone as he stared into them. Without moving toward him or acknowledging his pledge of love, she gulped. "I’ll have George fetch the preacher…then…" She said her gaze never leaving his.

  He nodded. "That’s good. I’ll go tell him."

  She nodded and was about to finish the cornbread when he stood up, the chair scraping the floor as he gazed down at her. He searched her face, wondering if she was prepared for his proposal. He realized he sort of rushed her, but time was short, and he just didn't have enough of it.

  "So you…want to marry me, Josey?" He asked wondering if she'd changed her mind, or the fact that he'd already made love to her scared her.

  Without looking straight at him, she beat the cornbread a little harder. "Oh yes, Leroy, and as soon as possible."

  Her breathless reply was enough.

  He smiled, nodding to himself, and went out to find George.

  ~*~

  Josey couldn’t believe Leroy had asked her to marry, or he wanted her so badly. The prospect thrilled her and scared her at the same time. She hadn’t thought of being married, but now her fears were unfounded, for she knew she loved him without regard. She wanted this marriage more than she could possibly say. She'd dreamed of this day.

  Trying to focus on the meal, she busied herself, as there were many men and a lot to cook. Obviously Leroy wasn’t staying long, but at least his men would long remember the meal.

  Rose came inside her smile broadened. "Well, you’re blushing to your toes, and I heard George was fetching the preacher…does this mean…"

  "Yes." Josey’s voice sounded strangled. "And…I’m sorry, does this bother you Rose, that I love him so?"

  Rose’s smile didn’t fade as she took Josey into her arms. "No…I’m just so glad to see you finally happy. I haven’t seen a smile since Mama died."

  "I’m sorry, I didn’t realize." Josey blushed and hugged her. "Oh Rose…I love him so…I just wish he didn’t have to go back to the war."

  Rose nodded. "I know. But you got to be strong for him. Now you go freshen up and find yourself something nice to wear at the wedding. You can even wear my peach silk if you like…I mean it isn’t white, but it is nice.”

  "Oh no, Mama made that burgundy gown for me, I’ll wear that. I’ve never had an occasion to, but this is as good as any." She laughed nervously. "Oh Rose…thank you."

  Rose laughed. "Go on now, we’re going to eat, have ourselves a gay old time, and be happy like we used to…remember?"

  "Just barely, but yes…you’re right." She nodded and ran into the bedroom.

  When her mother died, Josey asked Rose if she wanted her mother's room. After all, it was bigger, but Rose hadn't wanted to move her things, so Josey took it over and gave Rose more privacy.

  Burgundy was not a wedding color, she grimaced, but anything was better than that old gray dress of hers or what she wore to work around the farm in everyday.

  Dinner was ready an hour later and Rose and Josey served the men on a couple of sawhorses and boards thrown together in the front yard. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, fresh green beans, fried okra, and corn on the cob, with an apple cobbler for desert. Josey had made the cobbler earlier that morning, enough for her, Rose, the men and Leroy and his men too. The meal was fit for a king and the men seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.

  They were at the table when George and Leroy walked in with the preacher. "Josey, we found Reverend Cox and he’ll be officiating," George announced. Josey smiled and tried to hide her blush, but it was impossible.

  Hank smiled and took Rose’s hand. "First time I’ve seen her smile since Ma Anderson died."

  "Did she go easy?" Leroy asked, his voice fading with his words.

  "Yes, she sort of fell asleep and was gone." Josey said, her voice sounding small. Leroy nodded.

  Jacob said the prayer and everyone filled themselves at the table.

  An hour later, Josey came out of her room, and Hank led her to her place beside Leroy. The preacher had known them both for years and he seemed very happy to perform the wedding. Leroy’s men stood just outside the windows, so they could hear every word.

  Rose stood in her peach dress beside Hank, her hand in his. George stood as witness.

  However, Jacob interrupted before the preacher got started. “I’d like to sing for them first… is that okay?”

  The preacher looked from Leroy to her. "Oh yes…thank you Jacob. That would be so special."

  Jacob opened his mouth as tears rolled down his cheek, his voice was deep and resonating. “I wants to sing a song I heard on the river once. Don’t know from where it came…they called it a shanty song, but a beautiful one.” He looked at Josey and Leroy and smiled, then with his deep baritone voice he bellowed out the song “Shenandoah.”

  Remarkably beautiful, and Josey had a tear in her eye when he finished.

  Then the preacher said the words over them, and pronounced them man and wife. Leroy took her gently into his arms and kissed her softly. Josey lingered there till everyone started clearing their throats.

  Josey felt pulled by everyone wanting to congratulate them.

  "How long you stayin’ Leroy?" Hank finally asked as lemonade filled empty glasses around the room and they went onto the porch to announce the event to Leroy’s men.

  "We’ll be movin’ out tomorrow."

  Hank looked at her. "That ain’t long, brother. Well, you and Josey run off to the barn, it’s pretty comfortable in there. Me and Rose will clean up here.”

  Leroy frowned at Hank. "That’s mighty nice of you."

  "You’d do the same for me." Hank smiled. "And I aim to tell you now, that I’m claiming Rose as mine."

  "Fair enough, brother." Leroy smiled. "If anyone can tame Rose, it’s you."

  The men danced and partied, so satisfied to have a good meal in them. They all congratulated them and then Leroy pulled Josey toward the barn.

  He pulled her inside and smiled down into her face, "Mrs. Van Houghton, this isn’t the most romantic place in the world, but right now it’s more private than anywhere else. Shall we go upstairs?"

  "To the loft." She smiled.

  "Yes ma’am, to the loft," he affirmed with a smile.

  When they had climbed the ladder and Leroy looked about. There was fresh hay toward the back, and it was a little darker there. He pulled her along.

  His lips touched her neck as he helped her with her dress. "Are you afraid of me?"

  Josey glanced seductively at her new husband. "How can I be afraid of a man I love so much?" She whispered.

  He sighed and nuzzled her neck.

  Then when he had undone her dress, he went
to smooth the hay for them and make it comfortable.

  However, as she joined him, she noticed his hands trembled; she took them into hers and held them to her lips, kissing him there. "Why do you tremble so?"

  "I don’t want to hurt you, my darling." He said gently as his lips found hers in a slow and lingering kiss. "But I’ve dreamed of loving you again and every time I wonder if I can be gentle and hold my wants in check."

  "You won’t hurt me my love." She gazed into his eyes, between kisses. "And your wants are the same as mine."

  "But Josey…I worried over you so after that night. I got to thinking it was highly irregular to be introduced into sexual pleasure that way. But I truly didn't want to make love and leave you pregnant."

  "When Ma began to see how I felt about you, we had a long talk, and she told me all about the first time. She said…if you love him, you’d forget the slight pain quickly. But I figure if you do that again, there just won't be any pain."

  "You liked it?"

  She smiled impishly. "The only thing I’ve ever been afraid of besides Yankees is you not loving me." She whispered.

  His eyes blazed. "Perhaps I should tell you, exactly how long…I’ve loved you."

  "How long?" she asked.

  "Since you were fourteen and you put on that beautiful gray dress." He laughed. She gasped. "You’re teasing me."

  "Not at all, I knew you were too young for me, then. My only fear was that you’d never grow up. Or that you wouldn’t grow up fast enough." He chuckled.

  The dress fell away, and slowly her underclothes joined a neat pile in the hay. He gazed at her with fire in his eyes. "Josey…"

  "And have I grown up enough yet?" She asked breathlessly as she stood before him.

  "My God, you’re lovelier than a summer’s evening at sunset. Oh the dreams I’ve had of us being together. You can’t imagine."

  She smiled. "Why didn’t you tell me how you felt…back then? I fretted for years wanting you. As much as Mama fussed at Rose, I felt the same way about you. I wanted you to swoop me up in your arms and take what I would offer you. It made me feel so guilty. I thought you loved Rose at first."

  "I waited because it seemed indecent…you were still a child," he murmured. "A precocious child at that. I told myself I would be happy with Rose, and close to you, but the older you got, the more I knew I somehow had to have you."

  "I’ve been dreaming of this night since you came through my window…" She rasped, her cheeks flushing as her body readied itself for her love.

  "I’ve loved you for a long time, Josey. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to kiss your sweet lips. The day I left was one of them. The hardest thing I ever did was kiss you on the cheek."

  "And I wanted you to kiss me so bad. I mean really kiss me. But I treasured what I got from you. I’ve ached for you…so long." She murmured as his lips claimed hers in a hot kiss that went on forever. His hands were everywhere, touching, kissing, and loving.

  He gazed lazily at her now, as his hands filled with her, cupping her breasts so he could stare down at her. "I think you’ve gone and grown up on me, Josey. You are a woman now and I can tell the world how much I love you."

  She hurriedly helped him off with his clothes, kissing every new inch of exposed skin she could find. He somehow had a creek bath, and she relished the fact that he had been so sure of himself. He's shave his beard and somehow cut some of his hair off.

  When they had removed every stitch, she glanced down at his body.

  She swooned.

  He picked her up in his arms, cradled her, kissed her and gently laid her on the blanket in the hay. His lips trailed over her thoroughly and she shivered with anticipation.

  Every sensation thrilled her, every touch, and every caress made her body respond to him like a flower opening to the rising of the sun. He laved her nipples for long lingering moments, suckling them, pulling and teasing them, blowing his sweet hot breath on her. She squirmed to be closer.

  While his lips were busy, his hands reached for her legs and he parted her thighs gently. His fingers found the small nub of her being and rubbed gently. She was hot and wet, and his maleness responded. She jerked about, excited, and on fire for him, then slowly his fingers slid inside her, but not too far. Her warmth invited him in.

  Josey squirmed even more, and moaned the pleasure he elicited from her. Her fingers clawed his back, and when he could stand it no longer, he slid himself within her and buried himself, each movement sending him deeper and deeper. The pain was gone as quickly as it came, as she was lost in his lovemaking. He covered her lips quickly with a kiss that made her writhe. Every time he touched her he heard her catch her breath and slowed himself. Before long she was an aggressive lover, pushing her hips up to meet his thrusts. His fingers moved against her curly folds and she squirmed again. He felt her grow hot and moist and knew she was ready for him again. He was way too involved inside her to stop, he exploded like fire, and she crawled upward to meet him, her moan of pleasure telling him he had pleased her at last.

  Happiness surrounded them now as they cuddled and slept for just a while. However, the night was not over, in fact it was barely dark when they both awoke.

  "You are a delightful wife, Josey. I think for the first year we may never get out of bed." He smiled contentedly.

  She stared into his eyes. "Prove it." Her teeth nipped his nipple and his eyes sparkled into hers. She deliberately provoked him to touch her again. He didn’t mind at all. He pleasured her till exhaustion claimed them. They didn’t waste a moment of the night. Sleep was not a necessity.

  "I’m going to be one tired gentleman in the morning." He sighed happily.

  "Should we stop." Josey whispered, her breath tickling his ear.

  "God no, this has to last me until I return, I want you as much as you could ever want me. I want to fill you so full of love, you never forget."

  "Oh my love, I’ll…always remember…" She sighed into his arms. Soft sighs and moans of pleasure echoed throughout the night.

  ~*~

  The next morning, Josey woke up alone. At first she panicked wondering if Leroy had left her, but he soon returned with a hot steaming mug of coffee. The aroma filled the barn.

  "How did you get this?" she squealed with pleasure.

  "When we went looking for the preacher, his wife asked us if there was anything we wanted, as a wedding present. I thought about what we could enjoy together a minute and came up with this. She sent enough so that all my men could have a fresh cup this morning. I thought that perhaps this would be a real treat. I guess I’m not very romantic, forgive me my love. I’ll get better as time goes on. I don’t even have a ring for you…"

  "Oh Leroy." She reached to kiss his lips softly, enjoying the way they seemed to melt into each other’s embrace. "Nothing on God’s green earth could have been better."

  He smiled. "The men thought so too."

  She sat up in the hay, gathering her clothes about her now.

  As she put the beautiful dress on, he shook his head and laughed. "What’s so funny?" She asked, enjoying every sip of her coffee now.

  "That dress…please don’t put that on, just relax around me, and know I won’t hurt you or touch you unless you want me to. I like looking at you. All of you. You are a beautiful young woman. And you know something? I thought about this often, but I always pictured you in that gray dress, with your hair blowing in the wind, and your eyes sparkling like a child at Christmas. I know that is stupid, because gray isn’t exactly beautiful, but on you…well, I don’t know it certainly is, it’s how I picture you. You see over time, it's become thin enough that when you stand in the sun, I can see the outline of your body so easily. It's helped carry me through a lot of hard times, Josey."

  "You’re not serious." She frowned.

  "Oh yes I am. I’d seen you in that so many times. I realized the day Rose came out on the porch in that beautiful silk peach dress that it wasn’t the dress at all. No siree, clothes are
not important, it’s who was wearing them. The truth my darling wife, is that I wanted you all along, but from fear of being horsewhipped by your mother for thinking such thoughts of a mere girl, I kept quiet. And that gray dress, Lord you don't know how many times I wanted the pleasure of taking it off you.”

  She thought about what he said and smiled. "Did you picture me naked too?"

  "Many times, although I don’t think any picture I conjured is as lovely as staring at you right now. You have a lovely body, my darling. And I should like to look at you forever, just like this." His head lowered and he captured her pert breast in his mouth, savoring the taste of her.

  She squirmed. "Oh Leroy…"

  "I’m shameless…I want you again." He whispered near her ear. “"Maybe I shouldn't buy you any pretty dressed, and let you run around the house like this…"

  "You are such a rogue, but I cannot deny you anything…I’m yours. Any way you want me…"

  This time he took her in an urgency she understood, with quick hard thrusts and they broke into a sweat that made them slide against each other like silk on silk. When they were both satisfied, he pulled away, bent and touched his lips to her love nest. He licked, and laved and kissed. He took the hard little nub of her into his mouth and caressed her repeatedly until she moaned with such pleasure, her hips moving slowly against him. When she exploded with her love for him, he smiled and kissed her there, burying his nose against her soft curls, moving with her every now and then, exciting her again. His tongue curled over her again and he suckled her.

  "I want to remember your sweet scent, and your divine taste forever, my darling. I want to carry you with me into battle and know that you are what I’m fighting for." And with that, he took out his handkerchief and wiped the scent of her there.

  "That’s about the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen," she murmured. "I plan on doing many more things…in the future."

  His breath fanned her there and she could stand it no longer and pulled herself on top of him. Their lips met and she tasted their love and it didn’t displease her. She fanned the heat between them again.