The Busy Woman's Guide to Murder

by Mary Jane Maffini

  Then I knew. Every small niggling worry I’d had about Haley began to surface. I could see how I’d been tricked yet again. Mona wasn’t stalking Haley. Instead, Haley had plans for Mona. But why Mona? If Haley wanted to torment people, she could find lots of potential victims. No, Mona was special for some reason. And I knew intuitively that Mona had to be in that building. I just didn’t know why. I did know this was all about Haley and Mona.

  Jack’s cell phone went right to message yet again. I figured the police would not be happy to hear from me, but what choice did I have?

  I called Pepper. Of course, that also went to message.

  “Pepper, please listen to this. Haley has just returned to the school. She unlocked the door and went in. She must have a key. I’ve misjudged the situation and misled you. There’s something not right about Haley. She’d been in a struggle. There’s no sign of Mona being here. No other car or anything, but I’m worried. Please call me back. I’m phoning 911 in case.”

  Brian was still on duty. He sighed and said, “They are treating you as a nutcase and I am telling you that as your friend.”

  I wasn’t so sure that Brian was my friend, but I had to admit he had a point about my reputation with the cops.

  I said, “I can deal with them. It’s good that Mona isn’t the villain of this piece, but it will be very bad news if Haley gets to have her way.”

  “Sorry. Nothing I can do.” Brian broke the connection.

  I was alone in the parking lot. If Mona was in the building, where was her vehicle? How had she gotten there if not by car?

  I called Jack once more. No answer. I left a message for him to call me.

  No sooner had I hung up than my phone vibrated. Jack. A text.

  Meet me at St. Jude’s. Urgent. Come alone. I know what is going on.

  But I was already at the school and Jack was . . . Where? I glanced around, but there was no sign of him. The Mini certainly wasn’t in sight. The parking lot at St. Jude’s was empty, except for Haley’s Honda in the shadows. I edged the Santa Fe toward it and locked the doors, as it definitely felt creepy. It was hard to be inconspicuous in it. Had Jack gone into the school with Haley? Why would either of them enter the building in the first place? I cruised carefully around the perimeter of the school searching for something that would shed a bit of light on this. Nothing. There was, however, a sliver of light shining from one of the windows. It hadn’t been there earlier.

  I got out of the SUV and walked to the nearest window. The gravel crunched under my shoes. I stood on my tiptoes and tried to peer through the window, but the light seemed to be coming from the corridor beyond the class. No one was visible in the room. The door was closed and I couldn’t see anyone passing by the interior window. What to do?

  I found Jack’s Mini on the far side of the school. I touched the hood. The engine was still warm. Why would he go to the school alone? I thought back to the evening years ago when he’d returned and found Mona a prisoner in the locker. Was he trying to rescue Mona again? But how would he know that Haley was here? Had she contacted him? How? Of course she had. In a moment of sympathy, he had given her his number. Somehow she’d tricked him into meeting her.

  I proceeded to the side door and clicked the latch. Haley had left it unlocked. I swung the door open and listened for voices. But all I heard was silence. I stuck my nose inside. Where would Jack go? Inside? Had I missed him when I was searching for his car? Where would Haley be? Was Mona there too?

  Empty schools are among the creepiest places on earth if you ask me, but at least I could see a bit because there were lights on in the next corridor. I wished I hadn’t seen the dark spots on the shining tiled floors. Red? I bent forward and touched the first bloody puddle with the tip of my finger. Wet. I sniffed my finger and recognized the metallic smell of blood. Someone had been injured, just inside the school by the door. Who? Was it my imagination or was the blood still warm to the touch? I stared around. What looked like a spray of blood had dotted the institutional green walls. My heart thundered for Jack. Had I brought him into danger yet again? The trail of drops zigzagged toward the double door leading into the next corridor. I tried to remember the layout of my old school. If you walked through those wide doors and turned, you’d pass the science labs. Around the next corner were classrooms and the banks of lockers we’d all used. That was where the light was coming from. I stared down at the tiles and followed the drops. They’d turned into streaks as though someone had been dragged.

  Hugging the wall, I tiptoed down the hallway past the labs. As I reached the corner of the hallway with the lockers, voices drifted out. I stopped. Listened. One of them was definitely Jack. But who was he talking to? Not Mona. The pitch was wrong. Haley? A confident, powerful version if so.

  I scrunched down and peeked around the corner. I could see halfway down the long hallway. Jack was kneeling, facing me, hands in the air. The person whose back was to me seemed to be pointing a weapon at him. Haley. Jack didn’t react to me, didn’t give my presence away, although he did shake his head. Even from that distance I could see that Jack winced as he did. While I watched in horror, he quickly touched the back of his head and stared at his hand as it reappeared, covered in dark blood. I realized that was a message to me and now I also knew whose blood I’d seen back by the door. Haley had a physically demanding job. She was strong enough to have dragged Jack along the hallway to this location. But why?

  Jack was using his best, most persuasive yet utterly hypnotic boring voice. He’d read passages from leading nineteenth-century philosophers to me in that voice for years. I practically used to go into a trance on the spot. Jack’s tactic seemed to be calming Haley, slowing things down. I ducked back the way I’d come and scurried out of earshot. I keyed in Pepper’s number. Again.

  Not answering.

  Fine. 911. I didn’t give Brian a chance to protest.

  “Don’t think I’m crazy, but my friend Jack Reilly is being held at gunpoint by—”

  “Sorry. I’ve been told to ignore your calls. You have to stop pestering us.”

  “You have to listen to me. This is serious. I was wrong before, but I’m right this time and it’s really life-or-death. Mona’s life too.”

  It wasn’t easy for Brian. “I have to hang up now. Please stop calling.”

  “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”

  “Well, who do you think made that decision?”

  Margaret and Sally’s phones went straight to message. Why is no one ever available in an emergency? I left them each the same message: “Haley is holding a gun on Jack at St. Jude’s. Mona Pringle may be dead. I haven’t been able to get the cops to come or 911 to listen to me. If anything happens to me, let them know what I told you. I believe Mona was a decoy in all this. She’s been tricked and so have we.”

  Next I called Lilith and gave her the short version.

  “Unbelievable. What can I do?”

  “You and Rose have to convince the cops to come. I have to go back in before she shoots Jack or something.”

  “Don’t go in!”

  “No choice here. But here’s something you can do. Rose has one of those ancient answering machines that takes long messages, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Can you hear the message the caller’s leaving as they leave it?”

  “Are you kidding? You hear every word, whether you want to or not.”

  “Great. Use your cell to contact the police and leave Rose’s line free to take my message. At least there will be a record of what’s going on here. That’s the record 911 would have had, if they’d taken my calls.”

  I dialed Rose’s number again, tucked the cell phone into my front pocket, hoping the receiver would pick up enough sound. Time to get moving. I hustled back along the corridor, staying close to the walls.

  Too bad there was nothing around I could use to take Haley down. Nothing at all. The only weapon I had was the element of surprise. That wouldn’t last long. And I di
dn’t have much time. Whatever she was planning with Jack, she wouldn’t take much longer to do it. What about something in the labs? Perhaps I could have a MacGyver moment. But, naturally, the doors were locked.

  I peered around the corner. Haley seemed to be dragging Jack, facedown now, farther down the hall. I noticed a long smear of blood on the floor. I hadn’t heard a shot, so I had to assume that this time she’d hit him hard in the front of the head with the butt of the gun. I shuddered at the thought of my brilliant Jack with two head injuries. What was she planning next? She didn’t look in my direction, where she might have spotted me peering around the corner while I crouched by the wall in the dim light.

  There were smoke detectors and sprinklers. That could bring the fire department, but I had no matches or flammable materials. I needed something.

  Over the thundering of my heart I heard a strange pounding. I held my breath and listened. It sounded like someone kicking at metal. It was rhythmic and getting louder. Was someone arriving? Help? I glanced around, but the sound was definitely coming from the corridor in front of me. Haley paid no attention. Then it hit me. Of course, that was the sound of a person banging inside one of the lockers. Haley wasn’t startled or surprised because she had put that person in the locker. It began to fall into place. Mona was back in her nightmare prison again. And Haley had been behind everything. I didn’t understand why and I didn’t care at that moment. All that mattered was saving Jack and Mona, if I was right about her. I’d let too much time elapse already. At that moment I had no choice.

  I needed to go forward, but my knees were trembling. I had nothing to face off with and Haley had a weapon. I could see that she wouldn’t be afraid to use it. She had used it to knock Jack out. Would she be able to shoot him too? By this time, I was convinced she would and I also knew he wouldn’t have been her first victim. The thumping continued as Haley tugged at Jack’s feet.

  Why was I frozen? Unable to move? I shook myself. This would be one of the most important moments of my life. I couldn’t let Jack die. I couldn’t live my life without him. I cast one more frantic glance around for a weapon, or even a shield. There was nothing except a solitary freestanding metal trash can just ahead. I stared at it. Well, it was better than nothing. And it was cylindrical. Perfect for rolling. But rolling it would make a racket and that would give Haley too much warning. Lucky for me, Haley chose that moment to turn her back to me. I tried not to grunt as I picked it up and tiptoed forward around the corner, staggering under the weight. I did my damnedest not to make a sound. Six feet away from Haley, I raised it higher and heaved it with all my might. All that airlifting two thirteen-pound dogs up and down stairs and over snowdrifts had improved my upper body strength. The trash can flew through the air and I lunged behind it. All I needed was to get control in those first surprising seconds. The trash can hit Haley behind the knees. I threw myself on her, grabbing for her gun.

  To my relief, Jack raised his head, opened his eyes, and managed to lurch unsteadily to his feet. I got my mitts on the gun. Haley snarled and glared at both of us. “Don’t count on getting away with it. I’ll tell the police you attacked me. They think you’re psycho and they’ll believe me. I’m a widow and my husband is not even buried yet and you are trying some weird teenage revenge. You and Mona are totally deranged. Jack’s just your patsy.”

  “Yeah, give that a try, Haley, and see how it works out for you. Jack, are you all right?”

  “She must have whacked me twice.” Jack touched the front of his head this time. He flinched and then stared at the blood on his hand. “I never saw it coming either time.”

  “She’s devious. We were all fooled.”

  “As soon as the cops get here, you’ll be marched away. I can show the damage where the trash can hit me. That’s assault. The only prints on that gun will be yours. Explain that.”

  Sure enough, Haley was wearing gloves.

  “That would work, Haley, except that I figured it out before I set foot in here. I knew that Mona didn’t kill those people. And I understood why you did. I made sure that Pepper Monahan knew too. You mean girls caused her some grief too. She believes me this time and she won’t give your latest smear campaign one second’s thought.”

  “She didn’t seem to believe you when you spoke to her earlier this evening.” Haley’s pale eyes glittered. “They all think you’re a fool.”

  “You didn’t think I was a fool. You thought I was getting too close. You must have been following me. Did you see me meet with Dr. Partridge at the hospital? Did you also watch while I checked out Bethann’s street? What else? My guess is that you stole that brown van and hid it near your home, maybe in the shed or in that nearby car graveyard. You could use it to follow me around, because I might have been watching for small red cars, not vans. They didn’t take me seriously, but you were worried about me, weren’t you, Haley? That’s why you needed to kill me.”

  “No one could worry about you, Charlotte Adams. You are a self-important, conceited little bulldozer. I would have enjoyed watching you go over that escarpment.”

  I said, “Jack, can you open that locker door, please? I don’t want to take my eyes off our blond villain here.”

  Jack was slipping down the wall, like he was about to pass out. He barely stopped himself. “It’s just like when were kids.”

  “Exactly. Haley and Serena and the rest of the mean girls were brilliant not only at humiliating people but also at redirecting suspicion and fooling the authorities. How many times did that make life even worse for the victims?”

  “No kidding,” Jack said as he steadied himself and put his hand on the lock. Lucky for us, Haley had unlocked it already. I doubt if there would have been any way to get the combination out of her if she hadn’t.

  Jack swayed, held his head.

  “But the others had actually changed. Tiffanee and Jasmin had turned into basic, decent people, but Serena had to be special. She’d made a bargain with the Almighty to save her daughter. As part of that bargain, I think you all had to make amends. Not a problem with the others, but not you, Haley. I think Serena knew your darkest secret and that secret was big enough to ruin what was left of your life. It wasn’t just that she’d tell your clients about your nasty sadistic side, but she had the goods on you. Information that could send you to jail. She knew what happened to Dr. Partridge’s wife. I heard tonight that police had been interested in talking to a blond woman, a witness who was seen near Dr. Partridge’s place that night. Serena wasn’t the only blonde, was she?”

  Haley sneered. “Don’t make me laugh. You won’t get anywhere with that.”

  I said, “Sure, that’s not enough to convict you or even get you charged, but if Serena went to the police, it would be a bit of extra evidence. She knew that Dr. Partridge had been the real target even back then. And why was Dr. Partridge a target, Haley? Another of your cruel jokes? A power play to show the others that you could get away with anything? Or were you angry at him? Did he cause you to look at yourself in a way you didn’t like? Did you worry that he might find a way to end your reign of terror? Never mind. The police will get it out of you. Too bad his wife had borrowed his car that snowy night. You were the one who hit her. The other three could testify to that. At the time you were all in it together, although I am guessing they didn’t realize you’d actually murder someone. But now, they’d changed. You couldn’t trust them not to betray you. You had to get rid of them, but you also needed to make it look like someone else killed them. Depending on what information Serena left behind, you might still be implicated. How did you trick Serena into going by Dr. Partridge’s house when you visited him to drug him? Offer to meet her? Knowing that someone would see that giant yellow Hummer? I am surprised he let you in. He had a pretty good idea that you were a psychopath. Did you pull your seeking-forgiveness act?”

  “I never liked his face,” she said, with an evil grin. “He thought he was so superior, but he was stupid, or I couldn’t have dropped anythi
ng into his coffee.”

  I felt shivers run down my spine. Poor Dr. Partridge, so kind and correct.

  I shifted gears. “It was brilliant sending Mona over the edge. Setting her up, planting the idea of the alter egos. How did you achieve that? Did you leave messages for her as if from those alters? You always did have a knack for imitating voices. That worked on our friend Margaret when you made a fake call supposedly from her teacher saying she’d cheated on her Regents exam.”

  Haley laughed at that memory. “Conceited bitch. It was good to take her down a notch.”

  I managed to keep my cool. “I think with a warrant, the police will be able to document your calls to Mona. And your calls to me, pretending to be her, all stuffed up from crying. And to Jack pretending to be me. Everyone. You may be able to block your number from me, but they have ways of getting past that.”

  She smirked. But she seemed to have stopped implicating herself. I needed to appeal to that monstrous ego again.

  “Let me guess. Somewhere in Serena’s property, someone will find Dr. Partridge’s missing appointment book. That was brilliant. I have to admit it.”

  “You are wrong. It’s in Mona’s dreary little apartment,” she said. “I am proud of that and I’m not worried. You can forget your talk of the police. No one else will ever know because you won’t get out of here alive. You’ll be dead and so will your useless little friends.”