Forgiveness Creek: The Creek Series

by Abbie St. Claire

  “I’ve got my eyes on you, Wrenn. I know you’re in love with my grandson. I watch the way you look at him, and I’ve noticed the glow that comes to your face when he’s around. Your eyes have a sparkle that wasn’t there when I first met you, and your sadness is gone. You won’t be able to hide your truth forever.”

  “Oh, Mr. Lawrence, you think too much.”

  Mom and I tried to talk every day, but sometimes she would fall asleep in her chair and not hear the phone when I called. When she would wake up, she would send me an email, since I’d installed a computer and Internet at the house.

  She refused my offer of a satellite, saying that TV was a waste of money. She liked to read inspirational romances and enjoyed the Kindle I gave her for Christmas more than any other gift I’d given her. She was a one-clicking fool, but still insisted on paying her way. With her working part-time and her social security, she managed to cover her bills.

  I looked at my wrist, and the charm caught the light. I’d worn it since the day she’d given it to me, never taking it off. It reminded me of the Circle of Life she always talked about. Only once had I mentioned her moving to Texas, and I thought she was going to throw things at me.

  “I’ve lived here since I was sixteen, the day your father made me his bride. It’s not just a home, it’s my life, and one that I want you to have. Someday, you’ll understand.”

  When I looked at the whole picture of my heritage, I envisioned pain and the dark side, but Mom saw the light and was able to forgive the dark. It didn’t have a hold on her like it did me. I wondered sometimes if she’d be able to forgive the sin of my father, the one she didn’t know.

  Dane didn’t call me while he was in China. I found that odd and a bit disheartening, but with the time zone difference, maybe he didn’t have time to connect. Regardless, the non-existence of communication left me questioning why and doubting a good bit more.

  “Does he have your email?” Karina asked one morning, while we were sharing coffee in the hospital cafeteria.

  “You know, we’ve never emailed. You’re right. I’m so stupid.”

  “Besides, I don’t think U.S. phones work overseas. He probably has a different phone.”

  It was time for my clinical rounds to start. I pushed the chair back. “Well, his grandfather says he’s coming home tonight, so they’ve communicated somehow. I wonder if I’ll see him tomorrow at Mr. Lawrence’s treatment.”

  “Hmmm, you’ll know soon enough.”

  As I was walking to meet my clinical partners, I ran into Brad, my friend from anatomy class. “Hey stranger, what are you doing here?”

  He stopped and removed his ear buds and lowered his back pack. “They have the best omelets, and I come here sometimes for breakfast. Haven’t seen you in a while, you doing all right?”

  “Yes, looking forward to graduation.”

  “Where are you working?”

  “The cancer center. Mostly in the afternoons, but it depends on my schedule with school.”

  “I should know that. I see the specimens come in to pathology. I usually work Wednesday through Friday in the lab.”

  “I think that would be a cool place to work. The patient doesn’t yell back.” I laughed.

  He slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Love to chat, but short on time. Next time I’m around your way, I’ll look you up.”

  “Please do.”

  The next day I finished my last class and headed to the cancer center and saw Mr. Lawrence’s name crossed out on the schedule. He had called in saying he was too ill. It worried me even more. No word from Dane, even though I’d left him voicemail and text messages, and his ailing grandfather left me questioning everything.

  It was unethical to access patient records for personal use, but I did it anyway. I had to know, and at that point, I was willing to lose my job over it. I looked to find any address, all the phone numbers, and if there was an alternate phone number for Dane, besides the one I had.

  I found plenty, and there was more information I hadn’t seen on our schedule or his chart. Christina Biden. She held the same address as Dane and the same home phone number.

  Secrets and lies.

  It was Saturday morning before I heard from Dane and his voicemail was very quick, saying he was overwhelmed with work, but would call me soon.

  What the hell does he mean by soon?

  We were to leave the next day for China. I needed to pack, but I had an unusual amount of questions I needed answers to before I left to go anywhere. So, what does a questioning woman do? Call the numbers on the list.

  The first number was out of order. The second was the same voicemail as Dane’s cell phone, so I thought the number might be forwarded to his cell. The third number only added mystery when a woman answered.

  “Hello?”

  “This is Wrenn Cunningham. I’m looking for Dane.”

  “He’s in the shower at the moment. We’re about to get a bite to eat. Is there a message?” Her voice was sophisticated and dripping with sarcasm.

  “Will you ask him to call…? You know what, never mind. Please let him know I’m no longer able to take the trip with him, and I’m leaving town.”

  “I’ll see to it, Miss…?”

  “Cunningham. Wrenn Cunningham.”

  “Ah, yes, but of course. Just another one of his little flavors-of-the-day. I think he’s forgotten about you already and moved on, sugar.” As she spoke, I was quite certain the male voice I heard in the distance on her end of the line was that of Dane’s.

  Within a couple of minutes, my cell was ringing with Dane’s number lighting it up. I knew then he was with that woman, and oh, how convenient.

  Lying, cheating bastard.

  I packed quickly and let Mom know I’d changed my plans and was headed home. I missed her, and it had been six weeks since I was home last.

  The questioning tone in her voice told me she didn’t buy what I was saying, but she let it drop.

  “What’s going on, Wrenn?” Karina asked as I loaded the car.

  “He’s a liar. I caught him with another woman.” I crammed my suitcase into the backseat with a huff.

  “I knew he was too good to be true. Sweetie, I’m sorry. I feel like this is my fault. I encouraged you to break out of your shell.” She embraced me.

  “It’s not your fault. I can’t hate him for everything. He helped me put closure on my past, and I know someday I’ll find the guy for me, but it’s not him.”

  “You staying the week?”

  I nodded.

  “Tell Mom hello for me and be careful.”

  “Hope you and Aaron have fun on your ski trip. Don’t break anything.”

  As I drove down the highway, my cell rang endlessly until the battery finally died, but I didn’t answer his calls. I didn’t want to hear more lies.

  I tried to think about good times with Mr. Lawrence and my other patients and reminded myself to focus on the two months I had remaining in school. After that, it would be smooth sailing for the first time in my life.

  I would have a career I love, which would support me, and soon, I would be able to cross some things off my own bucket list.

  The next few days were spent in peace and quiet with Mom at the house. I didn’t bother charging my phone and actually had left it in the car on purpose. She tried to help me learn quilting, but I didn’t have the patience for it.

  “What is this quilt over on the table for?” I asked, unfolding it.

  “It’s yours, sweetheart. I made it from scraps of your dresses from when you were a little girl. I found the scraps in the attic and was hoping to get it finished before you came home. I wasn’t expecting you this week.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No. He was just a guy that’s all about himself. There will be another one for me someday, but I’m not rushing. I’ve decided that men are a luxury, but not a necessity.” I tried to laugh.

  “Tomorrow, we can go
to town and get the fabric I need to finish the quilt. So many of your dresses were red or had red in them, so I thought about red or black as the bottom fabric color.”

  “Red.” I grinned. “You know me too well.”

  “Red always looked best on you with your dark hair and dark eyes. You got those features from your daddy.”

  “What do you think I got from you?”

  “You got my nose, my fingers, and unfortunately, my weird shaped toes.”

  I looked down at my flip-flops and laughed. My toes. The very ones Stephan had made fun of.

  Sadness gripped my heart. Stephan would’ve taken his fist to Dane Lawrence and either pummeled him or died trying.

  The next morning, I drove Mom to get the fabric she wanted. We called going to the closest city “going to town”, and it was about an hour and a half away.

  She seemed to be walking slowly, and I noticed her holding her stomach a couple of times, while we were in the fabric store.

  When we stopped for lunch, she didn’t feel like eating, so we left the restaurant without ordering, which was totally unlike her. It was such a rare treat for her to go out and eat.

  “Mom, are you okay today?” I asked as we walked back to the car.

  “My stomach is queasy. It has been all morning. Must’ve been something I ate.”

  “You don’t look so good.”

  “Don’t make a fuss. I’ll be fine.” She buckled her seat belt.

  Then she gripped her chest and moaned loudly.

  Certain she was having a heart attack, I didn’t wait for an ambulance, since we were only a few minutes from the hospital just across the interstate.

  Grateful that we were in her car, I had more power under the pedal and gunned the engine, racing against the clock. I pulled into the emergency room behind an ambulance that had just unloaded and ran in yelling for help and grabbed a wheelchair I found just inside the door.

  When I returned to the car, she was slumped over. Two paramedics has rushed out behind me. They got Mom out onto the ground and begin chest compressions and asked questions as they worked.

  They got mom on a stretcher and took her inside, but she never regained consciousness, and even though they worked on her for over an hour…

  In a flash, she was gone.

  I didn’t get it. What on earth did I do to piss off God?

  I sat in the ER family counseling room for hours, until finally a lady from the hospital social services came back to speak with me.

  “Ms. Cunningham, is there anything more I can do for you? You’ve been here for hours. I’m worried about you. Can I call someone?”

  “I know you probably need this room, don’t you?”

  “Oh dear, no. You can stay as long as you need, but it’s getting dark, and I’m concerned about you driving home.”

  “I don’t have a home anymore. My home was with her. There’s no use going back to an empty house and a stale piece of land.”

  She held my hand, and I felt her gaze on my face.

  “I need to borrow a phone and call our family friend, Dr. Palmer,” I said softly.

  “Absolutely.”

  She pulled the phone from the small table and handed it to me. Sara Beth answered their home phone.

  “I’m at the hospital. We came to town to get fabric. Mom’s passed away. It was her heart. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Hold on. Stewart’s right here,” she answered, but I heard her whisper to him that Mom had passed away.

  “I’m so sorry, kiddo. Let me come get you.”

  “No. I just need help with the arrangements.”

  “If someone’s there with you, put them on the phone.”

  “Dr. Palmer wants to speak with you.” I handed her the phone.

  He spoke with the counselor for a few minutes, and all she kept saying was “Yes, sir.”

  After they finished speaking, she handed the phone to me.

  “Stay put. We’re on our way, kiddo,” Dr. P said with a breaking voice.

  Dr. Palmer and Sarah Beth arrived a little more than an hour later. Dr. Palmer made all the arrangements for me. Sara Beth drove me in their suburban, and Dr. P drove Mom’s car home.

  I never recalled a mile passing because I was numb, total shock and sadness gripped me.

  The only peace I had was being grateful I was with her in her last moments of life, doing what she loved most in the world.

  I stood at the corner of wood and stone and looked out over the green hills of pasture, listening to the sounds of nature. Cows mooing, birds singing, and the sound of rushing water from the creek welcomed me to our place.

  It was no longer our dwelling. I was alone in the world. I didn’t see it as a welcoming place anymore, yet for some reason, I didn’t want to leave and go back to Denton. My heart was torn from what was and what could be.

  I’d read once that when you’re torn in a decision, the best choice is not to make one at all, so that was exactly what I intended to do.

  I left Karina a voicemail saying Mom had passed, and I wasn’t sure when I would be home. I asked her to inform the school. The next call I made was to Darlie.

  “I thought you would be in China. What the hell happened?”

  “Turns out Dane has secrets. I’m not sure what all happened, but he basically dissed me, so I came home instead. I’m glad I did because my mom died of a heart attack. I’d like to get into it more, but I’m drained. Could you let Edgar know I’ve called and I’ll check in soon? I just don’t know when I’ll be back to work.”

  “I’ll do that, but I wish you’d let me come to where you are.”

  “Thank you, I appreciate that, but I’m in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. I’m fine, and I’ve got you if I need anything. I’ll call soon.”

  No goodbyes, it was better that way.

  The days passed, and I spent the week going through the house and just cleaning up. Mom was more of a packrat than I was. I boxed things up and took them to town to the shelter, except for items I wanted for safekeeping.

  I woke up throwing up early one morning, and it didn’t get any better for two solid days. I knew it wasn’t food poisoning because I hadn’t been eating—my appetite simply wasn’t there. After a few more days of sickness in the morning and then late in the evening, I had a panic attack.

  No freakin way. Life could not be that cruel.

  I drove into town to our convenience store and sat in the parking lot. Since it was Sunday, it was the only thing open. It was such a small town that the last thing I needed was to be the subject of town gossip, so I drove over an hour just to be able to shop in private.

  I made my purchase and threw the boxes in the car. Unable to get the idea out of my mind, I put a box in my purse and pulled into the closest McDonald’s, where I ordered a Diet Coke and sat there until I had the urge to pee. With my test hidden in my purse, I went into the bathroom and hid out in the small stall until I had my answer.

  Pregnant. How in the hell could that have happened?

  Sex was how that happened, but I was careful and never missed a pill. I thought about it for a while, and I realized I didn’t have to miss a pill because I’d taken medications that would affect the effectiveness of birth control pills. A victim of my own stupidity.

  I was angry with God. Angry with the world and felt I’d let myself and all my dreams down. I was very grateful Mom wasn’t around to witness my ignorant acts. She would’ve been so disappointed in me.

  I charged my phone long enough to make a few calls. The first one was to Edgar explaining I was an emotional wreck and unable to return to work and hoped he understood. I also asked that my employment records be protected. I didn’t want to be contacted by anyone.

  I phoned Darlie and left a message that I would not be returning to Denton. The losses I’d suffered were physically daunting, and I wasn’t ready to leave my home place empty.

  I finally was able to reach Karina.

  “You can’t stay there. You ne
ed to come home.”

  “This is my home.”

  “You can finish school. Just go to classes and do your rotations and at least finish school.”

  “I don’t know. Whatever you do, you are not to say a word to Dane or his family or tell them where I am. Understood?”

  “Don’t worry about me. I’m not saying a word to that creep.”

  I went to the bench and stared out at the water. Then I looked down at the phone. I knew as the father he had a right to know, but he didn’t want me, and he certainly didn’t want a baby. The longer I sat there, the more furious I became with Dane and the world. Without thinking it through, I reared my arm back and threw the phone as far as I could into the creek.

  So long, old life.

  Justin joined me for dinner. “Your Mom would want you to go back and finish school.”

  “But who’s gonna—”

  He put his fork down and stared at me. “It’s what…not even two months left?” He spread his right arm out. “This place will be just like you left it.”

  “But you’re already seeing to Stephan’s cabin. I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

  He left and I laid on the couch and moped. I thought about what he’d said.

  Mom would want me to finish school; he was right. There was no reason I couldn’t. It would be a challenge, but I could hide from Dane and his family if I was careful.

  I threw my clothes into a suitcase and called Justin.

  He was actually quite proud of himself for convincing me to do the right thing and promised to take care of everything until I came back. “You need to take the Taurus. Your car is leaking oil, I noticed. Leave your keys on the table, and I’ll take a look at it.”

  “So you know the engine’s in the back, right?”

  “Yes, smartass. Did they teach you that in school?” He laughed out loud, something he rarely did.

  “Now who’s being the smartass? Thank you for everything.”

  “You bet.”

  “Oh, and I don’t have a phone. I got mad and threw mine in the creek today. I’ll get one tomorrow and call you with my new number.”