Winter's Absolution (Obsidian Blades MC Book 1)

by Kristina Canady

  “Quit sayin’ you’re sorry. Sometimes we gotta break down a little, clear the shit out that we no longer need in our heads so we can build somethin’ new for ourselves,” Leo mumbles before turning his piercing eyes on me. His short dark hair is slightly tussled from the shower, softening his hard features. A heavy brow rises as if he is seeing me for the first time before his jaw locks like it does when he’s upset.

  Uncomfortable with what is now radiating off him, I come around the island and pick up the rotisserie chicken on the counter.

  “I got it, but you can’t stand in here, you gotta go sit on the couch or something.” My shaky voice gathers strength as it goes.

  “Guess I’ve been neglectin’ gettin’ to the store, it’s been the last thing on my mind. What the heck you gonna do with those bones?” Leo coughs and backs out, his eyes never leaving me.

  “Make you something to eat for a change,” I smart and turn my back to him as I start opening random doors, orienting myself to what is around as well as trying to pull the recipe in mind from the hazy fog in the back of my head. Anger pricks again as I think about all that those men stole from me. I’ve always loved to cook, to nourish the soul with food.

  “Want me to help?” Leo offers as he circles the island and perches on one of the iron stools. Steel comes in from out of nowhere, a ghost manifesting in the kitchen, sitting proudly in the middle of the floor with all knowing eyes, making me jump. Leo lightly whistles, and the dog gets up only to sit back down at Leo’s side. Out of all of the animals, the man included, that dog was the best out of the bunch.

  “Nah.” My voice drawls out before I gulp a big breath and slowly release it.

  Finding the stock pot in the corner pocket cupboard followed by some bouillon cubes, my hips do a little wiggle as the soup recipe my grandmother taught me slowly creeps back in. A weird, strangled cough comes from Leo followed by him taking a deep breath. Ignoring him, I get the stock started and am soon swept up into complete euphoria. The scents jog memories that make my heart sing as my hands take on a life of their own, carefully prepping everything. Leo’s strong and unwavering presence never leaves. Within the companionable silence, I realize something, the safety he provides while still giving me all the space I need is proving to be just what the doctor ordered for my panic attacks. They’ve been happening less and less, basically down to just when I dream, and maybe once during the day if something startles me. I know it all won’t go away overnight but it sure is better than where I was those first few days. Wiping down the cutting board before fishing out two bowls, I ladle up the chicken noodle soup and serve a skeptical looking Leo.

  His brow rises in question as I follow it up with a grilled cheese sandwich. “Where’s the meat?” he asks.

  “There’s a chicken bit or two floating around your soup bowl.” My hand comes to my hip as I blow a flyaway strand of hair out of my face. He better not get picky with me or I might grab that gun and shoot him in the foot. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good, and I’ll be damned if he pisses on my cornflakes.

  Thankfully, Leo doesn’t say anything but picks up a spoon. I follow suit, palming up my sandwich in the other hand and vigorously dipping it in. Taking a large bite, the gooey cheese floods my mouth as the broth dribbles down my chin, I moan in delight. God I missed the simple things like this. Leo’s spoon stops halfway to his mouth.

  “What?”

  He shakes his head at me before going back to sampling the meal I was able to scratch together from the remains of his supplies.

  “Weirdo.” I smirk as his face lights up at the first bite, and he begins to eat with gusto.

  Don’t doubt me asshole.

  As I clear our bowls, the storm overhead begins to lighten up to a patter across the roof. Exhaustion wears on us both. With a full belly, I quietly excuse myself, and head to bed. Rarely do I sleep much but at least I can lay my tired bones down on an actual bed and enjoy the feeling of clean sheets. My insides do a happy dance as I travel down the hall, excited for the possibilities.

  Chapter 6

  Leo

  The sound of a piercing scream rips me from my sleep, and, before I know it, my naked ass is flying down the hall to Luna’s room, the noises sound too close to those of someone being murdered and have me poised to rip some flesh to shreds with my bare hands. With one open palmed slam to the door right above the handle, the locked door flies open with a bang. Luna screams bloody murder again, her arms and legs battling some unseen attacker in her sleep. My heart stops in my chest at the sight of her. Without another thought, I jump in beside her and quickly pull her back to my chest, pinning down her flailing arms and legs with my own.

  “Shhhhhh, Luna, baby, I got you.” It escapes my lips with ease as I gently kiss the back of her neck. Her body slows to a shudder as tears escape her eyes. She’s still deep asleep, that I know for sure, because if she realized I was touching her, she’d be going bat shit crazy. Jesus, I hate the fact that she suffers with the same shit I do; wouldn’t wish that on most. Her body continues to shiver, the tension dissipates. Then, something unexpected happens in my chest as she weeps in her sleep, secured in my arms. Not used to experiencing feelings and unsure what to think about it, my head falls back on the pillow, and my grip loosens as we both slowly relax. Steadying my breathing, my fingers trace over her arms as we lay there, the sound of rain against the window soothing my racing heart. Lord have mercy, my heart breaks knowing what she has been through. I’ve gone through enough fucked up shit, done some brutal stuff, and been tortured myself. But I still can’t fully wrap my head around what was done to her. It isn’t right at all. Pinky and his gang are gonna pay dearly if it’s the last thing I do. As the vow floats through my mind, a peace fills me, and I drift back off to sleep, the lingering effect of those damn drugs still present in my system. I half think to myself that I should get up and go back to my room, now that she is calm, but can’t bring myself to leave her after hearing her screams.

  Luna’s body stirring to life under mine has my eyes flying open. That damn ass of hers wiggling too close has an effect that I can’t stop. She yawns and flutters her eyes open, freezing when she sees me. Panic seizes her face, and I quickly scoot over, but stay under the covers as I need a minute to calm my fucking cock. If even touching her freaks her out this much, she might keel over if she sees what developed a damn mind of its own.

  “You were screamin’ bloody murder in your sleep. I came in here ready to kill someone. You were clawin’ at the air, and spittin’ like a mad cat. You calmed down when I laid next to you. I swear, I didn’t touch nothin’,” I quickly defend myself.

  She finally remembers to breath. Slowly, her chest rises and falls as she takes a few big deep breaths. My eyes drop to her chest as she does, her taught nipples pushing through the fabric of her shirt before remembering to look away. Fuck, those tits are gonna be the death of me. I’m such an asshole.

  “Why are you naked, Leo?” she squeaks, the fear in her voice making my cock twitch.

  “Cause that’s how I sleep, didn’t think about it when you were hollerin’ on like you were,” I gruffly reply, pissed at my disrespectful body.

  She thinks on that for a few minutes, her big grey eyes doing things to me that weren’t helping at all. But, I don’t move, like a rock, I sit.

  “I literally slept all night. That never happens.” She breathes as her mind begins to go into overdrive. I’m pretty sure I can see the actual wheels turning up in there.

  “Come to think of it, I did too,” I reply without thinking. Well this just got even stranger.

  “Well, you can go now.”

  “No I can’t, not if you don’t want to see my bare ass,” I smart, mostly just to see what she says.

  She looks as if she is trying to swallow a lump of barbed wire. “Guess I’ll go,” she hoarsely whispers before flying up, her flannel covered ass a blur of red and black heading to the bathroom. Laughter erupts from my chest as I follow behind
and head to my room, the sound booming down the hall.

  “I hear you, asshole! It’s not funny!” she yells from behind the closed door.

  Now that the awkward part has passed, it was hilarious.

  Not saying anything, I head in to get ready. Enough of the soft shit with this woman. Today’s clean-up is gonna be a bitch after that mess last night. I’m gonna have to call up some of the boys to come and help. Pulling back the blinds in my room, I look out over my damaged property, anger threatening to take me in its dark and deadly embrace as the height of those flames last night come into mind. After dropping Rosey, Stitch, and Tank a group text asking for help, I call the ranch hands that usually help me during busy season for back up. I may have to head out on another three day run soon to check in on some of the other chapters, and need all this shit fixed before then. Fuck, I am going to have to see if Bex or one of the other ole ladies can come and check in on Luna. Jesus, Stitch was right, it’s like having a sitting Achilles heel. Cursing under my breath, I head in to make breakfast. Luna hasn’t come out yet and maybe that is for the best. The guys are going to be here soon, and I don’t need to be stressing out on how she is going to handle them walking onto the property. She’s grown in leaps and bounds over the last few weeks but let’s be real, she’s damaged as fuck. Well, aren’t we all to some degree I suppose.

  Plating up the last of the eggs, I hear a couple of fat-boys rumbling down the drive just as the bathroom door opens. Those big grey eyes that haunt my dreams go wide and find mine, seeking answers as well as comfort. Lord have mercy, when she looks at me like that, like I’m some sort of refuge… the shit it does to me just isn’t fair at all.

  “My brothers are comin’ to help clean that shit up, don’t freak out or nothin’,” I mumble, feeling uncomfortable as hell.

  “I’m not freaking out, can you give me some credit? Did I freak out with your bare ass in my bed? No. Okay, marginally.” Her tone is higher than normal, giving her away, not to mention her hands clasping at her side.

  A small snort escapes me as I devour my food.

  “I get no credit,” she mumbles before doing the same.

  Mid mouthful, the door bangs open and in strides three bastards like they live here, no knock or anything. Stitch pops on the stool next to a frozen Luna, Tank heads to the stove behind me as I lean on the island, and Rosey plops on the couch with a sigh, putting his feet on the coffee table that I made.

  “You wanna walk outta here you better take your fuckin’ shit kickers off my table,” I grumble, and he quickly complies with a chuckle. Asshole did it just to piss me off.

  Tank starts scraping the leftovers out of the pan, holding the cast iron up in the air as he shovels food in that bottomless pit of his, the fork scraping along the bottom, grating on my nerves. I feel my eye twitch.

  “All right, what happened?” Stitch asks, knowing I’m about to blow. I don’t do well in enclosed spaces with a bunch of other people, especially when I am on edge.

  “Storm rolled in, lightnin’ hit the dump pile out back. Took part of the fence down while the horses were out there. Flames shoulda never lasted that long or gotten that big.” My eyes cut to Tank, and he nods. If anyone can dig the truth out of any situation, it was that big fucker. He may look like a pumped up muscle head, but the truth was, he was a genius. Bex and him met back when she was in medical school and he was in some engineering program. Don’t know what happened from there and never cared to ask how they went from good ole college kids to this shit. Luna’s tense form comes back into view as she robotically feeds herself, trying to pretend that she’s not about to lose it.

  “Shit, y’all this is Luna. My bad sweetheart, forgot you haven’t met Tank.” My thumb goes over my shoulder to the hovering form. “And that’s Rosey.” My chin lifts toward the living room, and Rosey raises a two finger salute before flipping the TV on. “You doin’ okay?” I can’t help but check in on her. She cuts her eyes to me in betrayal before her strong face gives a firm nod. I smirk.

  “Well, we gonna sit around here, and hold each other’s cocks or get out there and get this shit done?” Tank claps me on the shoulder, dips his head to Luna, “Ma’am.” Then heads out the door.

  “I’ll pull the trailer around.”

  The stools scrape across the hardwood floors as Luna and Stitch stand at the same time.

  “Don’t look at me like that, I’m going to help get the horses squared away while you handle the repairs.” She comes around to collect the dishes, dressed and ready for battle, her feet in the first pair of shoes I’ve seen her wear. She must have found the shit Bex put in the closet for her.

  And that is exactly what she did. As if on a mission to prove the entire world wrong, she marched that ass of hers right out the front door and worked alongside all of us until the sun went down. She didn’t say a word, she just did. Even when the ranch hands got there, she didn’t run and hide. Luna bridled the beasts, handed them over, mucked stalls, water and fed them, and when all of that was done, she brushed and tucked them in. I couldn’t take my eyes off her or wrap my head around why I cared so damn much. Or why a sense of pride bloomed in my chest alongside that fluttery shit she made me feel. As the day closed and we got the damage cleared and the fence back up, another truck rolls up taking us by surprise. It stops and the doors fly open, Bex, Sugar, and Wingz jumping out, carrying pots of food.

  “Well, what in the hell do we have here? Luna, girl you filling out mighty fine!” Bex hollers over as she stomps up the porch. That woman did nothing quiet.

  Luna’s cheeks flair to the prettiest shade of red I’ve ever seen. Bet her ass pinks up just as nice. My cock twitches and I internally groan as I berate myself for such stupid bodily reactions.

  “Supper’s ready!” Wingz calls before they all head into the cabin. Jesus Christ, since when did my spot become the hangout? I’d make them all stay out here where the picnic bench is but it’s too damn cold. All the guys, even the ranch hands, head in. Luna and I are the last to follow. I motion to open the door for her but pause, the need to check on her more present than ever.

  “I’m fine, Leo, stop being such a worry filled ass.” She sighs and crosses her arms like a petulant child.

  “Good.” I nod curtly, open the door, and purposely step in front of her to enter first, letting the screen door slam shut behind me, leaving her on the porch alone.

  A subtle ‘uh!’ echoes in the background as I head straight to the island laid out with barbeque foods. Fucking with that ball of sass made me feel good, and couldn’t be helped. The screen door squeaks opens and closes, a pissy little thing sidling up next to me, throwing me a look that could kill. Her hip rams me as she tries, unsuccessfully, to push me out of the way of the plates. Picking one up, I hand it to her snatchy little hand.

  “You’re welcome,” I smart and she looks as if she is about to stick her tongue out at me. Luna arches a brow and walks to the other side and fills her plate, her eyes periodically lifting to track me. A grin of satisfaction spreads across my lips.

  “Well, y’all seem to be warming up to one another.” Bex vocally observes from my other side, bringing me back to awareness of the other people I had forgotten were in my home.

  “Something like that,” I clip and heap some brisket on my plate.

  “Uh-huh.” Bex smirks and walks off to plop on the couch next to Tank. Tank shifts and Bex folds into his side perfectly, like she was made to go there, and just like that, beast tames beast as they happily eat and whisper to one another.

  That woman doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about. My eyes track the room one more time, sweeping through and internally processing all details about every single person there. Their body language, what they are wearing, what they are eating, and who they are rotating around talking to. My mind naturally goes through its own statistical analysis of all possibilities of any situation that could unfold in a cold, calculated fashion. It’s been engrained with a lifetimes worth of special
ops training, even in the most relaxed situations surrounded by the few I trust with my life, it never shuts off. Between that, and the flashbacks to every fucked up thing I’ve ever done, which is an ever evolving list in a mercenary’s world, peace isn’t something I come by easily.

  The horses help, so does living way the hell out here, far away from any and every one. Looking at my brothers, all curled up with their women as they eat and catch up on the day, I tell myself that’s a picture of something I will never have. Some scarred up beasts are too ugly on the inside to deserve something like that with another human being. Shit, having this new roommate weirds me out. I make sure that I deadbolt my bedroom door just in case a night terror takes over that can’t be controlled and end up throttling that slender neck of hers while thinking she’s a perp from my dream.

  The feeling of Luna’s eyes shifting to my hunched form against the island has my spine straightening, but I leave my eyes right on my food. She doesn’t need to know she has any effect on me. I’m not quite sure what it is, to be honest, but there is something between us that makes me uncomfortable as all get out. However, it is pretty damn nice seeing her out of that damn barn, sitting quietly among my family without shaking or spooking every five minutes. She’s grown in leaps and bounds in just a few short weeks.

  “Yo, Whip, y’all coming to the clubhouse for Thanksgiving?” Rosey asks around a mouthful of mash potatoes.

  “I don’t know.” My eyes lift to Luna, trying to read her body language. It seems as if she is getting close to her max having all these people around by the way her shoulders are now rising up toward her ears.

  “Y’all should come,” Bex adds, her hand wrapped up in Tank’s long hair as her intelligent eyes attempt to convey more. Nope, not having any of that nonsense.