Bear Naked (Midnight Liaisons)

by Sims, Jessica

  Leif’s mouth immediately covered mine, muffling my throaty sounds. “Hush, love,” he said. “You don’t want someone hearing you and investigating. This isn’t our island. You can’t scream my name anymore.”

  I nodded understanding, but I wasn’t about to let a little something like ‘neighbors’ interfere with my need for Leif. I brushed my tongue against his, whimpering quietly when his hand moved to my breast and teased my nipple into a peak. He knew just how to touch me. In response, I sucked on his tongue, because I knew he liked that and it always made him lose control.

  I liked making him lose control.

  This time, it was Leif that groaned, and I felt his cock thrust against my warmth, sliding between my folds. His hand left my breast and searched between my legs for my sex, and groaned when he found me wet. “It doesn’t take much to turn you on, does it?” he whispered.

  “Your kiss is enough for me,” I told him, and ran my tongue along his lower lip, then bit down on it, enjoying the way that dazed, sexy expression swept over his face. Just that look in his gorgeous blue eyes would turn me on, if I was being honest. The very sight of him, aroused and warm, was enough to make me wet.

  “Foreplay tonight?” He asked between kisses, and I felt his fingers glide over my clit.

  I moaned in response, only to have the sound muffled by his mouth on mine again. Whoops. When the kiss broke, I told him, “Sex now, foreplay later.”

  He chuckled at that. “I think that’s backwards.”

  “We’ll just have to do it until we get it right, then,” I murmured, and brushed a thumb over one of his flat nipples, enjoying the crispness of his chest hair against my skin. “I’m game if you are.”

  His response was to push my legs further apart and place his cock at my entrance. His mouth covered mine, and then he thrust deep.

  My cry of delight was swallowed by his kiss, which was a good thing, because I’d entirely forgotten my promise to be silent.

  His mouth continued to cover mine as he began to thrust deep, his body pushing into my welcoming one. I whimpered into his mouth as his tongue thrust in time with his cock, until I was a panting, mindless bundle of need. It was a good thing we’d skipped foreplay - I was going wild with his touch as it was, and my swallowed cries were growing louder and louder.

  I came in the next minute, and Leif raised his head and pressed his hand down over my mouth, drowning out my shout under his palm. His own orgasm was silent in response, but I loved watching the emotion play across his face and ripple over his muscles, and I clung to him as he collapsed on top of me, his strokes becoming uneven and jerky as he came inside me. Our breaths panted and mingled as we lay in my bed, and for a moment, all was right in my world again.

  As long as Leif was with me, everything was fine. I pressed my nose into the curve of his shoulder and inhaled his delicious scent.

  I love you, I thought.

  Leif stayed the night, but when dawn arrived, he gave me a passionate kiss, dressed again, and left via my window once more. I showered to get rid of his scent, even though it made me sad to do so. I liked the smell of Leif on my skin, but my father would just flip out and I didn’t want to cause more trouble than we were already in.

  When I emerged from my shower, dressed, and headed into the main house, I immediately picked up the scent of my aunt, two female cousins, and another woman in the bear clan. Ugh. The welcoming committee had arrived, ready for gossip. I braced myself and headed in.

  “There she is,” Aunt Erika sang out. The others looked over at me and grinned. A big cardboard box sat on the kitchen counter as the others sipped coffee. They’d clearly been lying in wait for me.

  “Hi guys,” I gave a small wave to them. I shouldn’t have been surprised. The women of the bear clan were a tight-knit group, and we tended to converge on anyone having a life event - graduation, mating, baby, you name it. I was surprised that there were only four women here, though, instead of the full clan.

  That told me I was still in trouble, and these were the bravest ones who’d ventured out to get gossip. I smiled at my cousins Thora and Freya, second-cousin Gerda, and passed by Aunt Erika to grab a cup of coffee for myself. “What brings you guys here this morning?” As if I didn’t know.

  “We heard that you ran off to find a mate,” Gerda said in an eager voice. She was Mikkel’s wife, and though I didn’t want to be unkind, she wasn’t exactly my favorite person. Big, loud, and couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. It was no wonder Mikkel liked to go off on lots of ‘business’ trips.

  “I didn’t ‘run off,’” I told them, pouring a cup of coffee and then raising it to my lips. It was weak. I grimaced and pulled some instant coffee out of the cupboard, adding a spoonful to make my drink strong enough for a punch in the gut. “I’m old enough to do what I want.”

  “Yes, but you didn’t get approval from the clan elders,” Aunt Erika said in a disapproving voice. “So I hope the trouble you’re in is worth it.”

  “Did you find him?” Thora asked dreamily. She was a sweetheart. “Leif Ludvik?”

  I winked at her.

  Gerda squealed. “Oh my god! You did? I have to go visit Gunnar today and see what his son’s been up to. He’s been gone sixteen years! I bet he’s totally crazy in the head now.”

  “He’s not,” I said, frowning at her words. “But he’s back now, and we’re mated.”

  “Really?” Aunt Erika gave a haughty sniff. “I knew you were lonely, Niko, but this seems…reckless.”

  “Reckless how?”

  “I think it’s sweet,” Cousin Thora said.

  Aunt Erika shot her an angry look. “It’s not. The elders were deciding on a father for her child before she took matters into her own hands. Mark my words, this will be a decision you regret,” my aunt told me.

  I gulped my blistering coffee so I wouldn’t have to answer. When no one spoke, I tried to change the subject. “What’s in the box?”

  “Baby clothes,” Freya said, opening the box and pulling out tiny layettes and blankets and onesies. “My Kristian is old enough now that I don’t need these anymore, and I thought you’d find a good use for them.” Her smile was soft, pleased, but she looked to Aunt Erika for approval.

  I peeked at the pile of baby things and smiled. I knew an excuse for a visit when I saw one. Bringing over baby clothes just gave them an excuse to show up and get gossip from me. “I’m barely coming out of my heat, guys. I won’t know if it’s a boy or a girl for months.”

  “So you mated the crazy boy,” my Aunt Erika said, and tsked. “You’re so rash, Nikolina.”

  I put down my coffee, unhappy at my aunt’s tone. I knew she wouldn’t be thrilled for me - she was a big fan of the control the elders kept over us - but calling my new mate ‘crazy’ to my face was a bit much. “He’s not crazy.”

  “Mikkel says he went wild for the sixteen years he was gone.” She gave me an arch look. “Crazy.”

  Okay, so going wild wasn’t a thing normal, sane shifters did.

  “He’s fine,” I said stiffly. “Leif’s a good man. He’s thoughtful and kind, and I’m happy he’s my baby’s father and my mate.”

  Aunt Erika didn’t give up. “And what will he do for a job if the clan accepts him back? He will need to support his new family.”

  I thought about his wonderful wood sculptures, and the life and beauty they had in them. He’d spent the entire trip back whittling and carving small creatures into works of art, practicing to get his hands ‘warmed up’ again. I loved to watch him, so I hadn’t minded. “I hope he’ll continue with his sculpting. He’s really good at it.”

  “Oh no,” Freya said, dismayed. “That’s not a good career for a father. He needs something that brings in reliable income for you and the baby. Like a plumber or a mechanic.”

  My sweet, dreamy Leif as a plumber? Or a mechanic? When he was so gifted at sculpting? I couldn’t see it. “I make plenty of money on my own, thank you.” I worked as a medical transcriptionist. It
wasn’t glamorous, but I made my own hours and there was always plenty of work and a steady income.

  Aunt Erika shook her head. “That’s a dreamer’s job. He needs to come back to reality and get a real one.”

  “Leif’s never been good with reality,” Gerda said, and I hated the snide tone of her voice.

  “Bless his heart,” Aunt Erika said.

  Anger burned in my belly. “Leif and I are very happy.”

  Gerda gave me a pitying look. “I know you were lonely, Niko, but I’m surprised you don’t mind being second best. I mean, everyone knows that he left because he was so devastated over Katja’s death. You have to know that he didn’t really want you—“

  I slammed my coffee mug down on the table so hard that it shattered. Hot, black coffee spilled all over the counter and splattered the women seated there. “I’m not his second choice,” I snapped at them, but even as I said it, I wasn’t sure about it. “I’m not, and we’re happy, goddamn it. Or at least, we were until we came back here and everyone started attacking us!”

  “You can’t blame us,” Aunt Erika said, toweling coffee off of her pale cardigan with an unhappy frown. “I mean, you run off at your most vulnerable moment and then return with a crazy exile—“

  “Bless his heart,” Gerda added quickly.

  “He’s not crazy,” I thundered. If I had another coffee mug, I’d have thrown it at Aunt Erika’s head. “And fuck all of you!” I stormed out of the kitchen and right out of the house, tearing at my clothing. The need to escape pressed at me, hot and heavy, and I understood how Leif had felt, all those years ago, when he’d run away. I crouched on the porch and transformed to bear form, and then lumbered away into the forest.

  And if anyone tried to follow me? There’d be hell to pay.

  Chapter Six

  The good thing about bear form was that it tended to mute the scatter of human thought. I wasn’t sure if other shifters had that mental glaze that came over bears, but I knew that changing to a shifter form as large as ours required a lot of concentration, and it tended to drown out anxiety, or unhappiness. In bear form, you just existed. You just were. It was calm, peaceful. I could see why Leif had chosen it for so long.

  No one came after me, and I plowed through the familiar woods, exploring. There was a trail I liked to think of as my own, and my own little private den on the far edges of the land. I headed there.

  I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but I vaguely remembered dawn, and dusk, and then dawn again. I didn’t care. I fished dinner from the river, and ate berries, and curled up in my den.

  I was safe as a bear. Safe from hurt. Safe from sadness.

  At some point in the blur of my thoughts, though, I caught a new, familiar smell in the woods. Recognition came rushing back, and I emerged from my den in time to see another bear crashing through the woods, heading for me.

  Leif.

  I suddenly wanted to talk to him. Being a bear - and being numb to everything - wasn’t working anymore. I wanted to tell him why I’d run away. Because if anyone understood, it’d be Leif. So I transformed back to human form, just as he approached.

  He nosed me, his big, beloved fuzzy face full of concern despite his animal side, and I burst into tears. I dropped to my knees and began to sob, curling up into a ball. The bad thing about bear form was that I didn’t deal with any of my issues while shifted; they were still there, just waiting for me to shift back.

  Nearby, Leif shifted back to his human form faster than I had, and a moment later, he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close and soothing me as I wept. We sat in the leafy underbrush at the edge of my rocky cave, two naked humans who didn’t care about mud or grass stains on skin. When Leif tugged at me, I crawled into his lap and let him hold me as I cried.

  His big hands soothed my skin, stroked my hair. He didn’t pressure me, didn’t ask why I’d ran. He was just there for me, pressing small, affectionate kisses on my face to let me know that I was cared for.

  And I loved him for it.

  “Why is it so awful?” I asked tearfully.

  “Why is what so awful?” His voice was so soft, so soothing. His hands continued to stroke and pet me, comforting me.

  “Everyone!” I sobbed. “I thought when we came back, that it would fix all of our problems. I’d have a mate and you’d be home, but everyone’s being so nasty about it.” I thought about Gerda and Aunt Erika’s mean words. “It’s like they don’t want us to be happy.”

  “They don’t,” he said with a chuckle. “They want us to be as miserable as they are.”

  “But doesn’t it bother you?”

  “It bothers me that they’re making you so miserable,” he said gently. “But as for the rest of them, I stopped caring what they thought sixteen years ago.”

  For some reason, that made me feel worse. “So you were fine until I dragged you back here. That makes me feel even worse. I can’t please anyone.”

  Leif’s hand stroked my cheek, and then tilted my face so I looked him in the eye. “What makes you think I’m unhappy now?”

  The gentleness in his gaze made fresh tears splash down my cheeks. “You didn’t want to be with me. Not really. I came after you and practically shoved my overheated vagina in your face so you’d have no choice but to mate with me—“

  He laughed at my words. “Is that how you see it?”

  “— And I promised you that things would be better and now they’re not! They’re worse than before because they exiled you and now they’re threatening me and everyone thinks you’re crazy and—“

  “Shhh,” he soothed. His fingers brushed over my mouth, halting my words. “‘Lina, stop. You’re just making yourself upset. I’m not unhappy. And I’m not surprised they’re being this way.”

  “You—you’re not?” I hiccuped, then sniffed loudly. I tucked my head against his shoulder, because it felt so good to cuddle against him and let him hold me. God, there was nothing better. How had I gone for so long without Leif? How could I go on without him if they took him away from me? My hands tightened on him.

  He stroked my hair, my skin, my shoulder, until my breaths were coming slower and more regular. Until I was calm. And eventually, he spoke. “Remember what I told you? That sometimes what we think we want isn’t what we truly want?”

  I nodded, inhaling deeply at the scent of his skin. He smelled woodsy and wonderful, and just a little bit wild. I loved that. Just being close to him was helping me calm down a little. With Leif, everything would be okay, somehow.

  “Did you know Katja was running away when she died?”

  I stiffened. It was awful and selfish of me, but I didn’t want to hear about my dead rival for Leif’s affections. Not right now, when I was so vulnerable. But I made myself say, “Oh?” as if this were interesting.

  “It’s true. She’d stolen her father’s truck and was going to drive away. She didn’t care where, just…away. She told me, because she thought I deserved to know. We were best friends, but she didn’t want to marry me. She wanted to marry for love, and we didn’t love each other.”

  I stilled. This…wasn’t what I expected to hear.

  “And Katja was tired of the elders controlling every aspect of our lives. They didn’t want her to go to college. They wanted her to stay home with me and make babies. She wanted to study forensics. And I wanted to keep sculpting, but the elders didn’t think that was an appropriate job for someone that was going to start a family. They were going to make me apprentice to Jokkum.”

  I flinched, thinking of Aunt Erika’s words. Jokkum was a plumber.

  “The clan was making Katja miserable, so she was going to run away. Except she got into a car accident and died, and I realized…that I was miserable, too. That was why I left. It wasn’t because I was so lovesick over Katja’s death. I loved her as a friend, but I was more upset that she had wanted so badly to escape…and that she was right. The clan loves to keep control over everyone. They don’t care if we’re miserable as long as th
ey’re in control. Look at your cousin Mikkel. Have you ever seen a more wretched man?”

  I thought of Mikkel, always hiding from Gerda. And I clung tighter to Leif. “So…you weren’t in love with Katja?”

  “Not the way everyone thinks I was.” His fingers brushed over my cheek in a caress. “I just wanted freedom. Letting everyone think I’d gone mad at her death seemed to be the easiest way to get it.”

  I dragged in a long, shuddering breath. “And…I made you come back here. To the place that made you so unhappy. I’m such an awful person.”

  “You’re not,” he said softly. “You’re just…uncertain of yourself. That’s their fault, too. I’m stunned that the bear clan has taken a woman as beautiful, and strong, and loving, and proud as you, and made her think that she’s so unlovable.”

  “I don’t — I’m not — I — “ I stammered, and then stopped.

  He was right, I realized with astonishment. Ramsey’s defection from the clan had hurt me worse than I’d realized. Because I’d been the one left behind, I was the one that had to take all the blame. The pitying looks and the thoughts that there must have been something really wrong with me for him to not want to return. The talk from the elders and the arguing over who would ‘take one for the team’ had only compounded that.

  My clan had made me feel lonely and unloved, despite being surrounded by people who were supposed to be family.

  I tightened my grip on Leif.

  “Do you know,” Leif said, voice musing, “out of this clan that purports to love and care for each other, you’re the only one that thought to come after me in sixteen years?”

  “But…” I hesitated. He was making me sound so noble, so giving. “I did it for my own selfish needs, Leif. You know that.”

  “The motive was desperate,” he agreed, hugging me close to his naked skin. “But you could have just mated with me and left, if all you wanted was a heat partner. But you saw how lost I was, and you did your best to bring me back. You gave up your own clothes so I could be warm. You gave me the last of your coffee and your chocolate, because I didn’t like the coffee bitter. Every time I mentioned a discomfort, ‘Lina, you gave me whatever I needed to make me happy. How is that selfish?” The backs of his fingers stroked my cheek. “You worried that you were using me, and you offered to let me out. It was me that chose to stay.”