Don't Hold Back (Love Hurts Book 4)

by Missy Johnson

Anything he can do to make this special for her will be appreciated, and I’m more than happy to pay for the privilege. I’ll spend my entire savings on her if means I can make this memorable. The money doesn’t matter anymore. The money stopped being important the second I realised it was her. And the more I got to know her, the less it mattered—if that was even possible.

  “Of course, consider it done.” He nods and pats me on the arm. “Come here when you arrive back to collect your key. We will move your luggage and take care of everything. You just take care of that girl.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “Where you want to go first?” I ask her. “The Eiffel Tower?” I know that’s what she wants to see most, so I’m sure that’s where we’re headed.

  She shakes her head vigorously.

  “No?” I’m confused.

  “It’s so much prettier at night. I want to see it in all its glory. I want it to be perfect.” She flushes. “It sounds silly, doesn’t it? God, I feel like such a girl.”

  I laugh and put my arm around her shoulder. “I hate to break it to you, but that’s exactly what you are.”

  She pushes me away, laughing. I love seeing her so happy. “How about we get the touristy things out of the way, like the Louvre and the Notre Dame?

  “Sounds good.” I grin.

  The Louvre isn’t far from the hotel, so we head there first. It’s busier than I was expecting; there are people everywhere. We move through the museum slowly, looking at the different artworks. We can’t get up close due to the crowds of tourists, but I can tell Erin is loving it. I can’t help but think about what I have planned at the hotel. I hope she likes it. She’s such a romantic that I want to give her one perfect night. Just one night where she can forget everything. This not only for her, but for me too. I want one night that I can look back on whenever I feel like my world is spiralling out of control.

  “I want a baguette.” She grins, clutching my arm as we leave the Louvre. She points to the small stand opposite the river.

  I laugh and nod.

  “No wait, a brioche. I want a brioche.”

  “You can have both, you know,” I chuckle.

  “No, just get me a brioche,” she orders, pushing me towardss the cart.

  I do as she asks, bringing back the small buttery treat.

  She takes a bite and sighs. “Oh my God, that’s heavenly. I have no idea why French people aren’t fatter.”

  I laugh, finishing the last of my own brioche before taking our paper bags and throwing them in the bin. She doesn’t think I notice, but that’s more than she’s eaten all week.

  We spend most of the afternoon just walking around and taking in the sites. As it nears the evening, we head back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. I’m not sure where we’re going yet, but I’m sure it will be special.

  We walk into the lobby of the hotel. I stop, explaining that I have to get something from the front desk. She doesn’t question it, and walks over to the elevators. The manager is waiting for me as I walk over to the desk.

  “Ah, I’ve been waiting for you. I’m excited to let you know that we have gone all out for you and your beautiful woman.” He smiles, rubbing his hands together. “We’ve organized dinner at the famous Moulin Rouge, where you will also watch the show. It will be breathtaking, and your lady will love it. She will love you too for it, yes?” He giggles and nudges me, his enthusiasm making me smile.

  Who said Frenchmen were stuck up?

  “Thank you so much,” I say, shaking his hand. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

  “Ah, but it doesn’t stop there. You will see.” He hands me a key and gestures for me to leave.

  I thank him again and head back over to the elevator. I check the key card on the way and see we are on the top floor.

  “What was that all about?” asks Erin

  “I was just waiting on a phone call from my mother,” I reply, keeping my tone neutral.

  We get into the elevator and Erin eyes me suspiciously. “Your phone isn’t working?” she asks, her eyes narrowed.

  I laugh. I can’t get anything past her. She leans over, ready to press floor five, but I stop her.

  “I may have been requesting an upgrade for us.”

  “For both of us?”

  “One room,” I reply. “I hope that’s okay?”

  “That’s more than okay,” she says softly, her eyes dancing.

  I hit the button for the top floor.

  “The penthouse? You scored us an upgrade to the penthouse?” she gasps, her eyes widening. “How the hell did you manage that?”

  “What can I say? The French love me.”

  We exit on the top floor, where there is only one door ahead of us.

  “Do you want to do the honours?” I ask, handing her the key.

  She takes it and slides it in the slot, pushing the door open.

  “Oh my God,” she gasps, walking inside.

  I follow her, shocked myself. It’s beautiful, and they’ve gone to even more effort to make it perfect. My eyes sting with emotion as I take everything in. Erin races over to the window and steps out onto the small balcony.

  “I can’t even…” Her voice breaks, giving way to soft sobs. “Cade, it’s beautiful.”

  I walk out and wrap my arms around her, gently kissing her neck. She smells so sweet, like roses and strawberries. I look out at the view. It’s incredible. The tower looks massive from where we stand, the bright lights illuminating it in the dark sky.

  “Was this how you wanted to see it?” I whisper in her ear.

  “It’s perfect,” she replies. She turns to face me “You’re perfect. I can’t believe you arranged this. It’s by far the most romantic thing anyone has done for me.” She makes a face. “Not that the standard was very high. When did you do this?”

  “While you were getting dressed. I just wanted this night to be special,” I say, my voice thick with emotion.

  “Well, you’ve managed it.”

  “This isn’t all,” I say with a grin.

  “There’s more?” She laughs. “I don’t think I can handle more.”

  “Not even dinner and a show at the Moulin Rouge?”

  “No way,” she cries, hitting my forearm. “I tried to get tickets, but they were sold out. Some special anniversary show.”

  “We better get ready, or we’ll be late,” I say.

  “That was amazing,” Erin gushes. She takes my hand and squeezes it, dancing on the spot.

  We are standing outside the Moulin Rouge, following dinner and the show. I can barely hear her through the excited chatter from the other patrons, but I’m pretty confident the show was a win.

  “It sure was,” I agree. I excepted to like it—I mean, half-naked women dancing, what guy wouldn’t?—but I didn’t think I’d enjoy it as much as I did. And the food was sensational. I don’t even know what the entrée was, but it was fucking good. But the best thing about the night was the company. She looks fucking amazing in her long black dress with delicate lace cap sleeves. I run my fingers down her spine, along the very low-cut back of her dress. Any lower and it would be illegal.

  She leads me down the street, resting her head on my shoulder. We walk hand in hand, probably looking to anyone watching us like a couple in love. Every few minutes she stops to snap a photo of something that has caught her eye. I laughed when she said it a few weeks ago, but she was right: there is something special about being in Paris with that person. I don’t consider myself the romantic type, but maybe I’ve just never been with the right person. Tonight, with Erin, all that changes. This is the most content I’ve ever felt.

  I’d take one night with Erin over a lifetime with someone else.

  “What do you want to do now?” I ask tenderly. I move my arm around her back and pull her closer to me. She must be cold, because as incredible as she looks in that dress, her bare arms are exposed to the freezing air. She snuggles against me and wets her lips, and I catch the sense of sadn
ess in her mood. She glances up at me and smiles.

  “Honestly? Let’s go back to the hotel. Everything I want is there.”

  We get back to our room to find champagne and chocolate-coated strawberries sitting next to our bed. She squeals with excitement and kicks off her heels. I laugh as she dives onto the mattress, rolling around with the biggest smile on her face. She reaches over and grabs a strawberry, sucking on the end. I don’t think she’s trying to be seductive, but fuck me, I’m hard. I take off my shoes and join her, my desire for her unquenchable.

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” I chuckle.

  “Enjoying myself is an understatement. This is incredible. You’re incredible.”

  I pull her over to me, my fingers softly caressing her neck. She leans in and kisses me, her lips tenderly pressed to mine. She positions herself so she’s on top of me. I sweep her hair away from her face as it falls in waves around us. Her eyes search mine as she kisses me again, only this time I don’t let her pull away. With both my hands cupping her face, my mouth engulfs hers.

  Carefully, I roll her onto her back, with me over the top of her. Her legs wrap around my waist, and as my hands slide over her body, resting on her breasts, her nipples harden. I groan as she unbuckles my pants and slides her hand inside my boxers.

  I’m so hard already, but as her fingers curl around my erection I’m on the verge of exploding. Any inclination I had of being gentle with her goes out the window as I inch her dress above her hips. She sits forward enough for me to slide it over her head, and then rests back against the pillows beneath her.

  I trace along the curve of her neck and down over her collarbone, my finger grazing her hard nipple, rolling it between my fingers. I reach behind her back and unclasp the bra, sliding it from her shoulders. Like everything else, her breasts are perfect—round and plump, but not too big.

  “You’re incredible,” I mumble, closing my mouth over her nipple.

  She gasps, her fingers grabbing at my hair.

  “I want to taste you,” I growl suddenly. I scoot down the bed. Looping my fingers through the band of her panties, I yank them down. She giggles as I toss them aside and bury my face in her pussy.

  “Has anyone ever made you come before?” I ask.

  She swallows and shakes her head vigorously, her crystal blue eyes filled with anticipation. God, that’s such a turn-on. There is something incredibly sexy about my tongue exploring where nobody else’s has. Her legs tremble and lock around my neck as her fingers gently stroke my hair. I kiss her, my tongue slipping inside her.

  “Oh God,” she yelps and arches her back. Her toes curl under her feet, pressing against my arse as I bury my tongue deep inside her wetness. I put my hand on her stomach, restraining her, allowing me to push her as close to the edge as I can without letting her fall.

  “I’m so close,” she mumbles. Her lips form a circle as she fights for her voice, no sound coming out. Her body shakes as she nears climax, her skin cold and clammy to the touch. I slide my thumb inside her, alongside my tongue, teasing her until she breaks.

  “Oh God, Cade, I can’t . . . Oh!” Her thighs clench, locking me in, her fingers begging me to go deeper. I oblige but she pushes me away from her, he body unable to handle the pleasure.

  She releases a sigh, her body going limp, as I crawl back up the bed until I’m resting against her. I take her in my arms and hold her against me. She sighs again, as if she’s incapable of forming words.

  “I take it you enjoyed that,” I mumble, kissing the little spot of soft skin just below her ear. She mumbles something incoherent, but the smile on her lips tells me what I need to know.

  “I so badly want to feel myself inside you.” I tilt her face towardss me so I can explore those lips again. Her eyes close and she smiles. She’s so exhausted. I stroke her hair and hold her, content with that, because I don’t think she’s up to me rocking her world anymore tonight.

  She’s asleep within seconds, snoring softly, her body pressed up against mine. I stroke her arm, my lips gently kissing her shoulder over and over again. I am in awe of her beauty. So many thoughts are racing through my mind. I’m stoked that I’ve found her and angry that I’m going to have to give her up so soon.

  How am I going to handle losing her? Because it’s inevitable it’s going to happen, and I can’t do a fucking thing about it. Everything else I’ve been through in my life pales in comparison to this. She’s all I can think about, and losing her is everything I don’t want to face. I can’t talk to her about this, either. She’s going through enough without me burdening her with how I’m feeling. This isn’t about me. I have to keep reminding myself of that. It’s about her and making sure she knows how much she means to me.

  Because she’s everything.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cade

  It’s still dark when I open my eyes, but I can just make out the shape of her body entangled in my arms. She’s still fast asleep, and I hold my breath waiting for the sound of her breathing, just to make sure. When it finally comes I sigh, relief surging through me like a lightning bolt.

  I carefully shift positions, trying not to wake her, but she stirs, snuggling closer to me. I kiss her forehead and breathe in, soaking up her scent. What time is it? The sun isn’t up, so it must be early. I reach over to check my phone. It’s just after five. What am I doing awake this early? I’m not a morning person, so being awake at the crack of dawn is almost depressing.

  For the next hour I watch her sleep, mesmerized by her beauty. After a while, her eyes flutter open. She looks confused for half a second, until she registers where she is. She smiles, her face flushing as if she’s remembering last night. I know I am.

  “Morning, sunshine.” I grin, kissing those lips.

  She bites her lip and giggles. She’s so cute when she’s embarrassed. “Morning.”

  “Fancy meeting you here,” I tease.

  She yawns and rolls onto her side, her naked body nestling up against me.

  “Did you sleep well?”

  “I think so,” she replies. “Did you?”

  “Not so much, but I filled in the time watching you sleep.”

  That tell-tale blush returns, making my heart ache.

  I smirk at her. “Don’t worry, you didn’t do too much to embarrass yourself.”

  “I don’t think you’d tell me even if I did,” she retorts. She presses herself against me.

  I harden, wrapping my arms around her waist as she grinds gently against me.

  “I’m sorry I fell asleep last night. I wanted to make you happy too.”

  “Making you happy made me happy,” I mumble. I push back her hair and kiss her neck. “But if you want, you can make it up to me now.”

  I roll onto my back and she climbs on top of me, her hands cradling my face. She kisses me deeply, her mouth pressed against mine. My dick thrusts at her entrance as if he has a mind of his own. She wraps her fingers around my girth, guiding me inside her.

  Fuck, she feels good. I slide deeper inside, her tight pussy milking my cock. She rides me, forcing me inside and out, her breasts bouncing against the rhythm. I cup her arse, rocking her faster, pushing all of me deep inside her.

  I growl and throw my head back, almost at the point of erupting. I groan and jolt forward, my muscles clenching as I release. She grins, falling on top of me, wrapping her arms around my neck while I’m still inside her.

  “Holy shit, that was amazing,” I mumble. “What a way to start the day.”

  She kisses me in response. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” I ask.

  “For everything? For this. For coming with me. For saving me that night. I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.” She sits up, wrapping the sheet around her body. She tucks her hair behind her ears and takes my hand. “I wish I could give you more. All you’ve done, a free trip doesn’t even begin to repay you.”

  “Erin, stop it,” I say. I sit
on the edge of the bed, feeling like a goddamned monster. Every time I drop my guard and let myself enjoy being with her, something happens to throw what I’m doing to her back in my face. I wish I’d never agreed to the cash in the first place. But if the cash wasn’t on the table, would I have said yes? Probably not. I didn’t know it was her then.

  “What? I’m just trying to make you see how grateful I am.” She’s confused by my reaction and I don’t blame her. “What’s the problem? Why can’t you take a compliment? And I thought I was bad,” she teases.

  I force a smile and lean over to her. “Thank you.” I stand up and reach for my clothes. “Now, I’m going to get us some breakfast so we can spend the rest of the morning in bed. Coffee and croissants okay?” I ask her.

  “Perfect.” She grins.

  As soon as I’m in the lobby, I dig my phone out of my pocked and dial Calli. She answers on the first ring. I have no idea what time it is there and I don’t really care. I need to get this off my chest before things go too far. Even if it means having to deal with my gambling debts another way, I don’t care. By the time that’s an issue, nothing is going to matter anymore.

  “I’m done. Sorry, but I can’t do this.”

  “What?” Calli’s voice is breathless. “We had a deal. You keep an eye on my sister and my parents pay you twenty thousand. You can’t back out now, you’ve already been given the money.”

  “Then I’m going to tell her.”

  “Tell me what?” I turn and see Erin standing at behind me. She’s wearing sweatpants and a jacket. “I sent you a text. I thought we could eat breakfast down by the water somewhere.” She steps forward, her eyes troubled. “Tell me what, Cade?” she repeats. Her voice is calm, way too calm for me to believe she is actually calm.

  Fuck. “It’s nothing,” I mutter. I end the call, but I can’t meet her eyes.

  “It’s nothing?” she repeats “Who were you on the phone to? Don’t stand there and lie to me, Cade. If you’ve got something to tell, me just tell me.”

  I swallow, seeing no way out of this mess. I’m freaking the fuck out. What the hell do I do? Lie to her? Tell her the truth? Both are going to end in disaster. I’m about to come clean when she walks over to me and snatches the phone from my hands.