Locked Inside

by Annette Mori

  “She’s my fucking girlfriend, I wanna see her,” Abbie slurred.

  This was going to be a long evening.

  “Not like this or she won’t be your girlfriend for much longer,” her roommate declared.

  “Let go of me,” Abbey yelled.

  I heard a thud against the door.

  “You’re an ass, Abbie. Fine, but don’t come crying to me when she dumps your drunk ass,” her roommate hissed. “I don’t need this shit. It’s your funeral.”

  I heard the stomping of boots and I guessed that her roommate left Abbie just outside our door.

  A few seconds later, I heard banging on our door. “Carly. Open up. I wanna talk to you.”

  I shook my head, but Carly answered the door. “You’re drunk again. Get inside before the RA comes down and writes us up. I am not having this argument in the hallway.”

  I grabbed my phone to text Quinn, but Carly glared at me. “Don’t. Let me handle this, Belinda. I don’t need Quinn to come to my rescue.”

  I was torn. I didn’t know what to do. I knew that when Abbie drank, things escalated quickly to violence. She wasn’t like that when she was sober, but drunk, she could do some real damage. I put my phone down, but was ready to jump in if she needed me.

  “Sit your ass down,” Carly directed. “I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention. I can’t do this anymore. We’re done. I know you’ve been drinking lately and lying to me about it. I am not your mother and I don’t want to control your decisions. You need to stop drinking for yourself, but honestly I don’t give two shits whether you do or don’t because I can’t watch you self-destruct. I don’t want to be in a relationship with a raging alcoholic. Now get the fuck out and go sober up.”

  The smack across Carly’s face came so quick, I couldn’t intercede. “You’re just using that as an excuse to break up with me and start fucking Belinda,” Abbie yelled.

  “I said get out.” There was a quiet fury to Carly’s words that I had never heard before.

  “At least I got some on spring break. I may be a drunk, but you’re a frigid bitch,” Abbie yelled. She pushed Carly hard into me. I watched in horror as she tumbled against my chair and her head hit the corner of my desk.

  “No,” I screamed as I watched her crumple on the ground and lay unconscious at my feet.

  I saw Abbie’s profile as she sneered, “I always knew you were a fucking fake, always writing on your tablet when you could always speak.” She stomped out of the room without looking back. In her state of agitation, I wanted to believe she didn’t know what she’d done as I glanced at the prone body of my best friend and the love of my life. I grabbed my phone and texted Quinn.

  Call 911. Carly’s hurt.

  I was inconsolable when I saw the small puddle of blood form on the floor next to Carly’s head. I wasn’t a biology major so I didn’t know that head wounds bleed a lot, and it didn’t necessarily mean she was seriously injured.

  It felt like hours before the paramedics arrived, but it was probably only a few minutes. Quinn was in our room not more than thirty seconds after I’d texted her. If it hadn’t been such a serious situation, I would have smiled as I saw Taylor following closely behind her. They both had messy bed head and I suspected I interrupted something.

  Taylor was calm as she took control of the situation before the paramedics arrived.

  “Quinn, Belinda, I know you want to do something right now, but we have to wait for the paramedics. I can’t tell if she’s injured her neck or not, so we can’t move her.” Taylor pressed her fingers to Carly’s neck. “She’s alive, but unconscious,” she reported.

  Quinn nodded and grabbed my hand. I was sobbing and sounds of pure grief were tumbling out of my mouth. My chair was in the way or I was sure she would have wrapped me in her big strong arms to comfort me. Always my protector, Quinn would remain a close friend and ally throughout my life. We did love one another, just not in the same way that she loved Taylor and I loved Carly.

  The paramedics rushed in and secured a neck brace on Carly, before starting an IV and pressing gauze to her head.

  When her beautiful blue eyes fluttered open, I was never so grateful in all my life.

  “What happened?” she murmured.

  “You took a nasty fall, ma’am,” the paramedic answered. “We’re going to transport you to the hospital. You probably have a concussion and might need a few stitches.”

  The paramedic strapped her to the transport bed and rolled her out.

  I looked up at Quinn and she nodded.

  “I’ll get my car and we can all go to the hospital,” Quinn offered.

  Taylor patted my shoulder.

  It would be a long night of waiting.

  I grabbed my phone, rolled out of the room, and headed toward Quinn’s car, I noticed the horrified look on Abbie’s face as she hovered in the shadows. I’m not sure how she knew what had happened, but somehow I knew this moment would change her life. They say you have to hit bottom before you truly try to change your life. Abbie hit bottom that day as she finally realized the impact of her disease on others.

  †

  Quinn rushed us to the university hospital where they’d taken Carly. It wasn’t far, but I suspect they didn’t want me to have to roll all the way to the hospital in my wheelchair late at night. I didn’t like using my disability permit so that I could park closer, but tonight I grabbed the hanging plastic card for Quinn to put on her rearview mirror.

  Quinn didn’t say anything as she retrieved my chair from her trunk and smoothly transferred me into my rolling prison. Although we knew we would probably end up waiting to hear how Carly was doing, I suspect she sensed my level of anxiousness and need to get inside as quickly as possible. Logic never plays a starring role when you’re worried about someone.

  In the waiting room, Quinn sat on my right holding one hand and Taylor sat on my left holding my other hand. I didn’t have a lot of close friends, but the ones I did have were priceless gems.

  I knew that Taylor was antsy and desperately wanted to start some kind of conversation, but she refrained. She let me meditate because she knew that was ultimately what I wanted at that moment. I just needed their quiet presence. It was easy for Quinn to remain silent because that was Quinn’s go to place in any emergency situation.

  Two hours after we first came to the hospital, a nurse entered the waiting room. “Is there a Belinda here waiting to hear about Carly?”

  I waved and started furiously scribbling on my tablet. I am Belinda. Is Carly okay? Can I see her? I turned my tablet in her direction.

  Quinn stood up ready to challenge the nurse in case she wouldn’t let me roll back to see Carly.

  The nurse smiled at me. “Your friend has been a right pain in the bum, asking for you. Just follow me and I’ll take you to see her.”

  I rolled down the hallway on her heels as she continued to talk.

  “She has a concussion so the doctor decided to admit her. As soon as we have a room on the medical/surgical floor, we’ll transfer her, but for right now, she’s in one of the emergency room suites. We had to sew up her head, but she’ll be fine. The overnight stay is just a precautionary measure,” the nurse explained.

  When I rolled into the room, Carly smiled and winked at me. “Hey there, gorgeous. Wanna go out with me? I hear the food here is outstanding so I arranged for a candlelight snack.”

  She looked a little pale, but her smile was as bright as the sun on a summer day. I got close to the bed and grabbed her hand as I leaned as far as I could without tumbling out of the chair and I kissed her gently on the lips. I could feel the tears pool in my eyes.

  She wiped away my tears. “Hey, I’m fine. I think my scar will give me a distinguishing characteristic that we can tell our children about.” She caught my eyes. “I thought I heard you call out when I was falling. Did you yell out, no?”

  I nodded.

  “That is so awesome, Belinda—well, not that I scared the shit out of you
enough for you to utter your first word. I sure hope you don’t stay in some kind of terrible twos stage where the only word you say is no, because I was kinda hoping you might call out, yes, yes, yes.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  “I love you,” I managed to croak out. My words probably weren’t quite as recognizable as a normal person and it might have sounded more like I luh yah but she knew what I said.

  “Oh, Belinda, I love you, too. Always have and always will,” she pronounced.

  I heard a cough in the background and turned around to see Abbie looming large in the doorway. The way her tears were streaming down her face told the whole story. I didn’t think she was here to make a scene so I waved her in to let them put closure to their relationship—because I was sure that was where things were heading.

  “I know I’ve got no right to visit and you have every reason to tell me to leave, but I promise all I want to do is apologize and try to fix what I’ve done.”

  I could tell Carly was weary. “Okay, but Belinda stays and if things go sideways I’m calling for the nurse.”

  “I know I’ve said this before and you have no reason to believe me, but tomorrow I’m checking myself into an inpatient facility and I am going to get clean and sober. I don’t expect you to take me back, because I finally realize something that’s been staring me in the face all along. You’re in love with Belinda and she’s in love with you. You guys belong together. I can’t begin to compete with what you have and I won’t even try.”

  Abbie paused and swallowed before continuing. “I’m not making excuses for my behavior, but I realize it never would have worked even if I wasn’t such a mess. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about this. I’ll never forgive myself, but at least I hit rock bottom and it pushed me to finally get serious about my sobriety. I could use a couple of good friends when I get out, but I understand if you never want to see me again.”

  Good for you, Abbie. I would be proud to call you a friend. Don’t let your illness define you I wrote.

  “Thanks, Belinda. I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted. I’ve let my jealousy get in the way. You’re an amazing woman. I hope that once I get things under control I can be half as good as you,” Abbie said.

  “Abbie, I really do wish you the best and I can be there for you as a friend, but nothing more. I’m sorry everything turned out the way it did. I never meant to hurt you and I swear I never cheated on you, but I do love Belinda. I really am sorry. This isn’t all your fault, but you do need to find a way to handle your disease. Can I give you some unsolicited advice?” Carly asked.

  “Yeah,” Abbie responded.

  “Get some new friends. The people you hang out with are not helping you. I read somewhere that you need to change people, places, and things. Don’t fall back on old habits.”

  “Good advice. Maybe I should ask Quinn to room with me next year after I get out of rehab.” Abbie chuckled.

  “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. She’s a good egg. I’m sure she would agree,” Carly answered.

  “Really? Do you think she would really agree?” Abbie asked.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  I thought it was a great idea. Quinn would be a wonderful influence on Abbie. I nodded in support.

  “I’m going to go now and leave you to rest. I’ll give Quinn the details on the rehab facility in case you want to visit or anything.”

  “We’ll be there for you, Abbie,” Carly promised.

  She nodded and walked out of the room. Her head was bowed and she looked like she’d lost her last friend, but somehow I knew it would only get better for her.

  I turned back to Carly and she stroked my cheek. “God, Belinda, even after crying, which I know you’ve spent the past few hours doing, you’re so beautiful. Now there is nothing in the way for us. After I get out of here and finish my finals, I want a proper date with you. Oh, shit, finals. What am I going to do? I don’t think they plan on releasing me before my molecular biology final tomorrow at ten.”

  I’ll get your professor to give it to you on Thursday.

  “Thanks Belinda, you’re an angel. First problem solved. Hey, you didn’t call Mom and Dad, did you?”

  I am a terrible friend. I didn’t even think to text your parents. I’m so sorry, Carly. I’ve just been sitting in the waiting room obsessing about what I could have done to protect you.

  “No, no, that’s actually better, because I think that my mom for sure would have overreacted. I don’t want her causing problems for Abbie. I know what she did was wrong, but she needs a chance to start fresh and I really want her to get the help she needs. There’s a lot about her that is good. It might be hard at first, but I think eventually she’ll be a good friend. I know it’s a lot to ask, but can we keep the details a bit vague. They don’t need to know I spent the night in the hospital.”

  I don’t think that’s really possible. What about the hospital bill? Or your distinguishing characteristic. I pointed to her head.

  “Shit, you’re right. Ok, do you have your phone on you?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay, give it to me and I’ll call.”

  I handed her my phone, she pressed the buttons and put the phone to her ear. “Hey, Mom. No it’s not an emergency. Um, I’m kinda in the hospital right now, but I’m fine. No, please don’t drive down, I’ll be out tomorrow. Um, I took a little fall and hit my head. Shit. Sorry, okay but really, they’re letting me out tomorrow. Yeah, I need to stay until Thursday now because I won’t make it to my molecular biology final. All right. Yeah, Belinda is right here. I think Quinn probably brought her.” She looked at me and I nodded.

  “Thanks, Mom, but really, you don’t need to come. Okay, see you in a few hours.”

  Carly hung up the phone and sighed. “They’re on their way.”

  I smiled at her. I loved Carly’s parents. I won’t give them the details, but I don’t think you should lie to them. Your mom understands all kinds of illnesses, I think she’ll be as generous as you about Abbie. It wasn’t like she meant to hurt you.

  “Yeah, you’re right. Now, on to more pleasant topics. Where would you like to go on our date?”

  I felt my insecurities raise their evil head and didn’t respond to her question right away.

  “What’s wrong? Now nothing is in the way. I just thought—”

  I’m still in a wheelchair and the extent of my vocabulary is no and a garbled I love you. Oh, I can grunt the alphabet, sort of.

  Carly waved her hand. “Even if you never get out of the wheelchair and the only words I ever hear from you are I love you, I’d still want to marry you. Of course we have to finish college first,” she joked.

  I have absolutely no idea why you feel that way, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. By the way, where does that expression come from?

  Carly laughed. “I don’t know, let’s google it.” She took my phone and started typing. “Well, this is kind of weird, but here it is, it comes from an old English saying. Apparently as horses get older, their teeth change shape and move forward, so if you’re given a horse you shouldn’t be ungrateful and look in their mouth to try to determine the age.”

  Quinn and Taylor peeked into the room as Carly was laughing and a strange giggling type sound came out of my mouth. All three sets of eyes focused on me, and it dawned on me that I was laughing—well, sort of laughing.

  “Belinda, that is music to my ears,” Taylor exclaimed.

  “You’re giggling, Belinda,” Carly enthused.

  “It’s a beautiful sound,” Quinn added.

  “You know, I’m loath to break up the party, but the nurse out there is giving us the stink eye. I managed to get us a few more minutes because I work here, but I think they’re suggesting that Carly needs a bit of rest. We should probably go soon,” Taylor explained.

  “Yeah. You should all go. I know Belinda and Quinn both have finals to take. My parents are on their way. They can drive me back to the dorm tomorrow,” Carly stated.

>   Should I try to arrange for your professor to give your final on Thursday or Friday?

  “Maybe Friday would be better. My head is actually starting to throb now.” Carly grimaced.

  “I’ll get the nurse and see if they can give you something,” Taylor offered.

  We spent a few more minutes in Carly’s room and then I reluctantly left. I wanted to stay until Carly’s parents arrived, but the nurse insisted that we’d overstayed our welcome and they needed to get her transferred to a bed on the medical/surgical wing. Carly must have seen the concerned look in my eyes. “I’ll be fine. Now go.”

  I didn’t get much sleep that night and I was sure I would tank my final on European history, but I didn’t care. I could probably get as low as a C and still squeak out an A in the class.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Early the next morning I hurried in the shower and managed to get dressed in record time. I had a professor to see.

  After making the arrangements with Carly’s molecular biology professor for her to take her test at ten in the morning on Friday, I rolled off to my European history final. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be and I guessed I did all right.

  It was after one o’clock when I returned to the room. I got worried when Carly wasn’t there. I was almost ready to text Quinn to take me back to the hospital, when I heard Carly’s mom in the hallway.

  “Are you sure you want to stay to take this test. I’m sure that we can get the professor to make an alternate arrangement for you given the circumstances,” Dr. Sullivan said.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I don’t want an incomplete. I’m sure my headache will be completely gone by tomorrow. Besides, Fran wasn’t going to be able to take us home until Friday anyway,” Carly answered.

  “We’re here. We could take you home,” Dr. Sullivan pushed.

  “Hmmf. God, Mom, stop treating me like a baby. I really don’t want to come back and take the test. It’s bad enough I have to take it on Friday,” Carly huffed.

  “Okay, okay.”