Always My Own (Always Love Trilogy #2)

by Tawdra Kandle

  The drive to Devlin was long and monotonous, cutting across the state of Georgia and maneuvering around Atlanta to the small town. We’d left Burton just before dawn, since I was determined to make it there and back in one day; the trip was a solid four hours, each way.

  As I’d expected, my mother had thrown an unholy fit when I had announced we were leaving for rehab the next day. It went on for about fifteen minutes, but then she abruptly stopped yelling, turned around and went into her bedroom. I waited for the slam of the door, but it never came.

  Elizabeth had looked at me in surprise. “Well . . . that was interesting. How do you think you’re going to get her into the truck come tomorrow morning?”

  I’d shrugged. “Not worried about it. She’s going if I have to hog-tie her, gag her and toss her into the cab. It’s happening. She can either get on board or get handled.”

  Elizabeth had grinned. “You know, I think I kind of like take-charge Trent.”

  The look in her eyes had warmed me. No, dammit, it had made me downright hot. I’d wanted to scoop her into my arms and make her shriek as I hauled her into the bedroom and reminded her of why we’d fallen in love in the first place.

  But first things first. Priority one was getting my mom where she needed to be. She hadn’t come out of her bedroom the rest of the night, but right before I’d gone to sleep at ten o’clock, I’d knocked on her door and called to her.

  “Ma, we’re leaving at six tomorrow morning. If you want to take anything with you, better have it packed and ready to move by then, because I’m not messing around.”

  I hadn’t held out much hope that she’d even be awake, let alone packed, by six the next morning, but when I knocked on her door and opened it, she was dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, a small plastic grocery bag at her feet stuffed to bursting. She’d stood up and followed me out, but she didn’t speak at all. In fact, she didn’t do much more than grunt the entire way there.

  When we were about fifteen minutes away from the facility, I turned down the radio and cleared my throat. “Ma, I know you probably hate me for this. Hell, maybe you’ve hated me my whole life. I don’t know. Felt like it sometimes. But believe it or not, I’m doing this for you. I want you to have a chance at life, and I think this may be your last shot. I’m doing everything I can to make it happen for you, but I can’t do more than get you here. I hope . . . once you get inside, I hope you do the work to get healthy. Not for me, not for anyone but you.”

  She didn’t answer me, but I thought I saw her eyes flicker a little.

  The rehab center was just outside the town of Devlin. I’d read the instructions the night before; I was to pull into the check-in area, let my mother out, and someone would be there to greet us and take her inside. And then I had to leave. They didn’t want family members hanging around, and honestly, I was okay with that.

  The building was a typical one-story institutional-looking place, about what I’d expected. The grounds were pretty, though, with trees and well-trimmed hedges. I slowed the truck as we pulled under the awning. Two people, a man and a woman, both in scrubs, emerged from the glass doors as I put on the parking brake and shifted into neutral. Before I could get out, the man had opened the passenger door and offered my mother his hand.

  “Ms. Wagoner? Welcome to Devlin Horizons. Let me help you down from there.” He reached up to guide her down as the woman took the grocery bag Ma’d had on her lap the whole time.

  I came around the side of the truck, watching them. The man ushered my mother toward the doors, and his partner turned toward me.

  “We’re all good here now. Thank you for following our instructions. You’ll receive weekly updates via the email address you provided, and we’ll inform you through those updates when you’re allowed to call the patient. Do you have any questions before you leave?”

  I shook my head. “No, thanks.” I watched my mother approaching the glass doors, which opened automatically. An unexpected lump rose in my throat.

  “Trent.” She paused before she stepped inside, speaking for the first time that day. She didn’t turn to look at me, but her voice carried anyway. “I never hated you.”

  She kept walking over the threshold and disappeared into the building. The woman in scrubs patted my arm. “We’ll be in touch. Have a safe trip home.”

  The drive back to Burton was just as silent as the one over had been, but with each mile I drove, I felt a little lighter. A little more free.

  I stopped for gas and a bottle of water an hour away from home, taking the opportunity to text Elizabeth to let her know when I’d be back at the apartment. She responded with a simple, “See you then” and a smiley face, which I figured was about as good as I could expect.

  But that was okay, because the whole time I drove, I was making plans. And those plans included making my wife remember why she’d been attracted to me in the first place, why she’d loved me. I wanted to be a better man for her, for both of us. And with that in mind, I made a couple of telephone calls, too, as I covered the last miles into town.

  Her car was parked in front of the apartment when I got home. I rolled up behind the BMW and hit the parking brake before jumping out of the truck and taking the steps two at a time. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to get inside.

  When I opened the door, a familiar and delicious smell greeted me. I might’ve moaned a little, just because I couldn’t help it. Something wonderful was baking in my kitchen.

  “Hey!” Elizabeth leaned out of the kitchen, hands behind her back, her face alight with a welcoming smile. “You’re home.”

  “Yeah, I am.” For the first time in months, that felt true. “What’re you doing in there? Something smells like heaven.”

  “Well, if heaven for you is a chocolate chip cookie, you’re in luck.” She brought her hands to the front, and damned if she wasn’t holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

  A storm of emotions battled inside me. All at once, I was a kid again, walking home from school while I listened to the other kids bragging about the cookies their moms baked for them to eat after school. I’d pretend I knew what it was like, and in my head, I wove an elaborate fantasy where my mother was waiting at the kitchen table with cookies and milk, wanting to hear about my day. Since my reality was my mom hung over in bed, grousing at me to be quieter so her head didn’t explode, the make-believe world was a much better place to live.

  These cookies, though—not only did they look and smell amazing, they sparked another, better memory for me. In my mind, I saw Kiki leaning over the counter to hand me a white paper bag as she whispered conspiratorially, “These are very special cookies made only for you. I’m usually in favor of sharing cookies, but in this case, don’t. Each of them is for you.”

  “They’re not going to bite you.” Elizabeth sounded equal parts amused and nervous as she lifted the plate a little higher. “Try one. Turns out I’m pretty good at this baking deal.”

  I obeyed, choosing a cookie in the very center of the plate. The first bite melted in my mouth, an enticing mixture of butter, vanilla, chocolate chips and something else I couldn’t describe. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed.

  “Do you like them? Are they good?” She sounded anxious.

  “Baby, these are the most incredible thing I’ve ever put into my mouth.” I smirked and raised one eyebrow. “Well, maybe second best. But a real close second.”

  Her cheeks went pink, and she shook her head, smiling. “You’re incorrigible.”

  “And that’s why you love me.” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop and think. Elizabeth met my eyes and held them, the tip of her tongue darting out to trace her lips, but she didn’t speak.

  “Elizabeth.” I moved closer, nudging her chin up with two of my fingers. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and her chest rose and fell a little faster than normal. I wondered if I’d find her heart pounding if I covered her breast with my hand.

  “Hmmm?” She hummed a little, questioning.<
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  “Would you go out on a date with me?”

  Surprise flashed across her face. “A date? Where would we go?”

  I shrugged. “That’s for me to know, and you to guess. Do you trust me?”

  She didn’t answer right away, but finally, she nodded. “Yes. I think I do.”

  “Cool.” I framed her face with both of my hands. “Then let’s go.”

  “Now?” She glanced around us, as though something might keep us from leaving. “Right now?”

  “Right this very minute. C’mon. You look amazing, and don’t worry, I’m not taking you anywhere fancy. You know I don’t do fancy.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Fine by me. Just let me change my shirt, okay? I got flour and stuff on it from baking.”

  I ran my hands down her sides, just skimming her tempting curves. “I don’t know. This shirt smells pretty damn tempting.” I burrowed my nose in the crook of her neck, just above the scoop of her shirt, and took a big sniff. “Mmmmm, yeah. Elizabeth and cookie dough. If you could bottle this scent, men would go wild for it.”

  She was breathless as she playfully shoved me away. “Let me go, you goof. I’ll change and be right out.” She darted away from me, giving me a tantalizing view of her sweet little ass as she shimmied down the hall to her bedroom. I thought about her peeling away the cotton shirt from her silky skin and had to adjust the crotch of my jeans. She was going to kill me, this woman.

  Good as her word, Elizabeth was back out in a minute, slinging the strap of her handbag over her shoulder. “Okay, I’m ready. I look like a hot mess, though, so you better not take me anywhere people will see me.”

  I snagged her hand and laced our fingers together. “The only one who’s going to see you tonight is me, baby.” And if I got really lucky, I might get to see a lot of her. As in naked her.

  As if she could hear my thoughts, she smiled big and lifted her eyebrows. “All righty then. Sounds like a plan.”

  I helped her into the truck, reminding her not to lean on the loose passenger side door. Once we were on the road, I made one stop, running into Franco’s to pick up sandwiches, and then pointed us out of town, cruising into the country.

  “Watch your speed. It was right around here that I hit that dog.” She stuck out her lip, sighing.

  “I’ll keep my eyes open. Any word on finding his owner? And is he okay?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing on an owner. Smith says he doesn’t have a chip they can scan. But he’s doing really well. Apparently he’s up and walking around. They said he’ll make a full recovery.”

  “Excellent.” I wondered if Elizabeth would want to bring the pup home, provided his owners never appeared. I doubted pets were allowed at the apartment, but if things went my way, we’d be finding a better place to live pretty soon, anyway. Having a dog might be nice.

  “I told Maureen I’d help find him a home, if no one claims him. I’d take him myself, but I’m horribly allergic.”

  There was my answer. “Ah, I didn’t know that.”

  She sighed. “I guess that’s one of the many things we never got around to talking about before. But yes, I’m allergic to dogs and cats. I love them, but I sneeze and swell up. I had to go get my car vacuumed out last week. I was having an attack every time I drove, after having the dog in it even for that short time.”

  The sun was beginning to sink lower in the sky as we drove. We had a few hours until dark, and I wanted to take full advantage of them. I turned the truck onto a small hidden dirt road, slowing as we bumped along. It hadn’t rained much lately, which was good; if it had, this road could be a muddy mess.

  “Where are we going?” Elizabeth craned her neck to look around us as the road wound into the woods. “Please tell me you’re not taking me into the forest to kill me and dump my body.”

  I laughed. “Honey, there’s a lot of things I want to do to your body, but dumping it in the woods isn’t one of them.” I caught her hand in mine and lifted it to kiss the knuckles. She shivered, and gladness rose up in me.

  Around the bend, the small lake came into view. I parked the truck as close to the water as I could before I switched off the ignition.

  “It’s beautiful out here.” Elizabeth leaned forward to stare through the windshield. “Is this someone’s property?”

  “Yeah. This is actually right at the border of two farms, the Reynolds’ and the Nelsons’. I went to school with Ali Reynolds and Alex Nelson, so we used to hang out here sometimes.” I pointed to our left. “The river’s that way. That’s where everyone used to go to park.” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

  “And you didn’t take me there?” She grinned at me, teasing.

  I pretended to be offended. “I brought you here on a date, Miss Elizabeth. I have nothing but honorable intentions. No ulterior motives.” I put on what I hoped was an earnest expression.

  “Damn.” Elizabeth feigned disappointment. “I was hoping for ulterior motives.”

  I leaned closer to her, sliding one arm behind her back. “Baby, I can give you what you want. I can always satisfy your . . .” I let my voice trail off. “Your needs.”

  Her cheeks went pink and when she spoke again, her voice was husky. “Right now, I think my biggest need is . . .” She batted her eyelashes. “That delicious smelling chicken parm sandwich sitting between us.”

  Laughing, I eased back and reached for the sandwiches. “Your wish is my command. One chicken parm for you, one hot roast beef for me.”

  We unwrapped the food and demolished it, talking and laughing as we tried to avoid dripping sauces on our clothes.

  “Hey, I think you got some gravy on your shirt.” She trailed a finger down the middle of my chest. “That might leave a stain. Maybe you should just take it off.”

  “Huh.” I pulled the material away from my skin. “As the person who does the laundry, I can say I’m motivated to avoid stains any way I can.” I began unbuttoning it.

  “Ah, ah, ah.” Elizabeth brushed my hand away. “I can do it better.”

  “You always could, baby.” I sucked in a breath as her fingers teased the skin on my stomach. “Hey, I’ve got a blanket behind the seat. I know it’s kind of chilly, but want to sit outside for a little bit?”

  She eased the shirt over my arms. “I think I can do that. But since your shirt is off, I might have to keep you warm.”

  I fished around behind us until I closed my fingers around the blanket. “Think you’re up to it?”

  She smiled and raised one eyebrow. “Pretty sure I am.”

  It was a clear night, and there on the lake, it felt as though the stars were as close as the tree tops. I spread out the blanket a few feet from the water’s edge, and Elizabeth sat down, kicking off her shoes and hugging her knees to her chest. I tried to keep from shivering as the air chilled my bare skin.

  “Is it okay that we’re here?” She glanced over at me, watching me tug off my boots before I joined her on the blanket.

  “Yup. I made a call just to make sure.”

  “When did you do that?” She scooted closer to me, her body warming my side.

  “On my way home from Devlin. I called Mason to let him know how everything went, and I asked him to check with Sam, see if we could come out here tonight for a picnic.”

  “Hmmm.” She snuggled closer, and I wrapped my arm around her. “Planning ahead, were you? Was I so much of a sure thing?”

  “No, baby.” I touched my lips to her temple. “You’re never a sure thing. I was just optimistic.”

  We were quiet for a minute, enjoying the quiet. “So how did it go? Today, I mean. Taking your mother up there.” She hesitated, as though trying to find the right words. “I didn’t ask before in case you didn’t want to talk about it.”

  “Not much to say, really.” I stared out at the dark surface of the lake, rippled by the soft breeze. “She was ready to go this morning, and she didn’t talk the whole way there. They took her inside as soon as I pulled up, and that was about it.” I
wasn’t ready to share my mother’s parting words yet. “It was fine. Felt a little weird when I left, like I was just abandoning her there, you know? Even though I know it’s for the best.”

  Elizabeth laid her head against my shoulder. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

  I shifted, pulling her to sit between my legs. “I am, too. Not sorry I did it, but sorry I had to. But I don’t want to talk about my mother anymore tonight. I think she’s messed with our lives enough, don’t you?”

  She laughed softly. “Oh, I don’t know. The apartment’s going to be pretty quiet with her gone. I don’t know what I’ll do when I come home from the office and she’s not there to remind me that I’m the fucking bitch ruining her life because I won’t let her go out and get plastered.”

  “There is that.” I held her a little closer, chafing her arms. “But I want you to know, Elizabeth, how much I appreciate you letting her stay there. Us, I mean. I know it wasn’t a picnic, and you were really great about it. And I also want you to know, I’m done now. Whatever my mother decides to do next, it’s up to her. I’ve given all I can.”

  “I think that’s reasonable.” She arched her neck to kiss my jaw. “You deserve a future. And now with your new job . . . you really like it there, don’t you? At the Road Block, I mean.”

  “Yeah.” I twisted a lock of her hair around my finger. “I do. I know it sounds crazy, but it feels good to work with people who treat me like I have a brain, you know? And I think it’s really helping out Mason, too.” I kissed the column of her throat, where it was exposed. “I was thinking . . . once I get a few months under my belt, maybe we could think about finding a better place to live. We could look at houses outside town, like we said before.” My heart began to beat a little faster. “If you wanted to, I mean.”

  Elizabeth leaned her head back against my arm so that she could look into my eyes. I couldn’t read her face, and I wondered if I’d pushed too hard.

  “I want that, too.” She spoke so low that it was nearly a whisper. “I’m just not sure . . . I need us to take it slow, okay? We jumped into everything so fast last time, and I thought we both wanted the same things. And then you left me.” The pain in her voice was raw, and her eyelids drooped to half-mast, as though she didn’t want me to see too much. “I can’t do that again, Trent. I can’t open myself up to you and trust in us unless I know you’re in this for the long haul. You’re my one. I need to be your always.”