by E. M. Leya
Tevon nodded, but didn't say anything. He wished he was in the back room with Randy, finding out what was wrong. He hated not being there for him, but if Randy wanted him there, he would have asked.
"Does anyone else know about this?" Everest came back to the couch and sat down.
"Heath knows. Randy told him before we came inland. He was worried about you guys teasing him, so he didn't tell anyone else."
Everest grinned. "Have to say I can think of a few jokes, but I'd never use them. As much shit as we give each other, fucking with him over this would be messed up. I can't even imagine what he must be going through."
"He's handling it better than most would, but that could just be him trying to play it down. I'm sure it's weighing on his mind more than he lets on. I've tried to show him it doesn't matter, but that’s easy to say if it's not happening to you."
"So what do we do to help him, Tev?"
Tevon shrugged. How many times had he asked himself that same question? "It all depends what Dr. Brisk is telling him right now. Hopefully, the tests showed something he can fix. I just pray I didn't mess up and do something to cause this when I operated."
"I'm sure you didn't. No one I trust more than you, Tevon. You've saved more of us than I could count. I'm sure it's something simple. Scar tissue or something." Everest glanced toward the back room. "You think we should check on him? He's been in there a long time."
Tevon bit his lip as he stared down the short hallway, starting to worry the longer Randy stayed in the bedroom. "Let's give him a little time. He'll come out when he's ready." He just prayed that when he did, the news would be good.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Randy tossed the phone on the bed, frustrated and confused at what he'd just heard. The doctor had to be wrong. What did the human know anyway? Tevon swore there wasn't a difference in mermen and human anatomy, but there had to be something that the doctor missed. For him to tell him that there was nothing wrong with him physically was crazy.
He pressed his hand to his crotch and sighed. Something had to be wrong. It wasn't his fault things weren't working. As if he wanted this to happen. It was the last thing any man would wish upon himself.
He grabbed the phone and strode from the room, pissed off as he wondered what to do. He stopped in the living room and handed his brother back his phone. "I need to go for a walk. I'll be back later."
"Hey, wait. What did the doctor say?" Everest gripped his arm.
"Let go." Randy shrugged away, turning to Tevon. He owed him an explanation, but he wasn't ready to discuss what the doctor had told him. "We'll talk later, I just need to think."
"I'll be here." Tevon touched his arm gently.
At least one of them had the sense to let him go.
Everest wasn't as smart. "Rand, stop. You aren't strong enough to go out there."
"Fuck off, Ev. I just got off with the phone with the doctor who thinks I'm just fine." Sarcasm was heavy in his words. "If he says there's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing to worry about, right?" Randy turned and stomped down the stairs.
"Randy…" Everest called after him.
Ignoring his brother's call and the guilt at leaving Tevon behind, he made his way out of the clinic, to the sidewalk. The scent of the ocean called to him as he turned and started toward the beach. He focused on his steps, ignoring the pain in his hip that grew stronger with each step. Anger pushed him forward as he replayed the doctor's words in his mind.
"The tests show no damage, there is nothing I can find that is medically preventing you from becoming aroused. I have seen several cases like this in the past, and it's really not uncommon for there to be some kind of mental block that is causing you impotence. I'd suggest perhaps speaking to someone. I have the name of someone if you like," the doctor had told him.
His chest tightened at the thought that he was causing the issue himself. There was no way a mental issue could ignore the pleasure Tevon brought him, the desire and lust that plagued him each time he looked at him. He wasn't crazy.
As the beach came into sight, he picked up his pace. He pulled his shirt over his head before he hit the sand, and the moment his feet touched the beach, he sought out a place where he could slip into the water and shift.
He walked down the beach, ignoring the sand that filled his tennis shoes. He glared at the humans he passed as if it was their fault that he suffered. The waves crashed against the shore, calling to him, drawing him closer to the water.
Relief swept through him as he spotted a cropping of rocks about fifty yards ahead of him. Forgetting about his hip, he broke into a run, tossing his shirt to the sand. He forced himself to keep his pants on until he was sure he was alone. Once he'd scanned the beach, he quickly kicked off his shoes an slipped off his pants, then tucked them under a rock so they wouldn't be seen. With a final glance along the beach, he walked into the water, continuing deeper until the water reached his waist, then diving into the waves as he shifted and swam out into the ocean, praying somehow to forget everything he'd learned in the last hour.
Once deep enough, he slowed and floated, watching fish swim around him. For the first time in his life, he wondered what it would be like to live in the water, leaving the caves and his family behind and committing his life to the ocean. There were stories of others doing it, but he'd never met anyone who had. At the moment, escaping everyone around him sounded like a wonderful solution, but deep inside, there was no way he could walk away from his brothers or Tevon.
A frown formed as he thought about Tevon. How would he react when he found out that it wasn't a medically issue keeping his cock limp? Would he think it was him? Worry that he didn't find him attractive? For weeks he'd dreamed of what it would be like to have sex with Tevon like a normal couple. To give and receive pleasure in ways they had with others in the past. Now that it wasn't possible, he wondered if their relationship would last. Sure, Tevon said it didn't matter to him, but faced with a lifetime of it, would he still feel the same? Randy wasn't sure he could live life without it. There was no way he could live without ever having an orgasm again. It was insane to think he could. Just the memory of one caused him to groan.
He pushed deeper into the water, smiling as several dolphin joined him. He pushed back his anger and joined in their game of tag, ducking and diving as they swam farther from the shore. When his chest suddenly tightened again, he cursed as he pushed to the surface, praying there would be no one around to see him get a breath.
The dolphin waited patiently for him as he gulped several deep breaths of air and dove back down. So much for his idea of living in the water, until he got his body back in shape it wasn't going to happen.
"Randy." Sage called to him using the clicks and squeaks of his clan.
"Go away." Randy turned away from the call, swimming hard to escape. He'd kill Everest for calling Sage to come look for him, and he was sure it was Everest who did it. Tevon wasn't the kind to call for help unless it was serious.
"Would you just stop and talk to me." Sage reached his side easily.
"What?" Randy stopped and glared at his brother. "Go home and tell everyone I'm fine."
"You're not fine. I just watched you have to surface again. At least head to the caves so I know you're safe." Sage's long black hair floated in waves around his face.
"I want to be alone."
"Obviously Everest thought that was bad idea. Want to tell me what is going on?" Sage rubbed his hand over one of the dolphin as he floated, waiting for a response.
"He didn't tell you?" Randy was actually shocked that Everest hadn't spilled the whole story.
"He said you got some bad news, that's all he would tell me. He thought you might head for the water and asked me to find you."
"He couldn't come for me himself?" Randy turned and swam away.
"He took the other end of the beach looking." Sage stayed with him as they glided through the water.
"How'd you find me anyway?"
Sage clicke
d his tongue and two dolphin darted between them. "The dolphin knew where you were. I'm sure word has reached Everest already."
"I wanted to be alone." Randy glared over at his brother.
"You know we aren't going to leave you alone until you're healed. You want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"
"Uh… No!" Randy shook his head, his long brown hair flaying through the water. "Can't you guys just give me space? I don't want to talk about it. I want to be alone."
"Not happening, Bro. Not as long as you are in the water." Sage reached out and touched his shoulder. "I'm not trying to baby you, but you got to admit your body isn't strong yet. If something went wrong, you might not make it."
At the moment, Randy didn't care. Maybe death would be the best option. "Fine." He pushed away from Sage and swam hard toward a small island. His chest burned with the need for air by the time he finally broke the surface and made his way to the sand. He shifted and stood, walking slowly up the beach before sitting down.
The island was almost like a second home. As far back as he could remember, his brothers and he had escaped the caves and come here to swim and relax. It was the one place they could get away from his father and the Royal Guards before Heath took over as king.
Sage shifted and followed him up the beach. He looked worried, but didn't say anything as he sat down beside Randy. The two sat in silence for several minutes, staring out over the ocean.
"How long before I won't need a babysitter?" Randy finally asked.
"I'm not trying to babysit. I'm just worried about you. For Everest to call me, it must be something big that caused you to run off. We're worried about you, Rand. You would do the same if it was any of us."
It was true. He'd probably be even more insistent than his brothers were being. He sighed as he laid back onto the sand, staring up at the afternoon sky. "I don't know what to do anymore, Sage. Since the shark attack everything's changed."
"Like?"
"I can't train anymore. Hell, I can't even swim without needing a lifeguard by my side."
"You'll get stronger. You seem to forget how serious you were injured. You're not going to heal overnight."
Randy closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Seems I'll never heal completely."
"You're almost healed now. I didn't think you'd live when I saw you that first day. You've come a long way."
"You don't get it, Sage." Randy covered his eyes with his arm. "Things will never be the same."
"Alright, you going to tell me what this is about?" Sage nudged Randy's leg with his own.
"No." Randy moved his arm and looked over at his brother. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want it to go away. Sometimes I wish that shark finished the job."
"How can you say that? Is your life so bad since the attack?" Sage frowned at him.
"Hey." Heath called from the water. "You two plan an outing to the island and didn't call me?"
"Shit." Randy groaned. "What part of I want to be alone don't you guys get?"
"Since when have we listened to you?" Heath shifted and joined them on the beach. "Everest isn't too far off. I could hear him calling to the dolphin."
"Who told you we were here?" Randy sat up.
"I'm king. Nothing happens in my clan without me hearing about it, especially when it concerns my brothers."
"So we have no privacy anymore?" Randy fisted his hands in the sand.
"Actually, I was going to head inland to talk to you guys when the dolphin alerted me you were here." Heath squeezed the water from his long blond hair. "As soon as Everest gets here, I have news, but until then, you want to tell me why the dolphin warned me of your mood?"
Sage laughed. "You didn't heed the warning."
"I'm not scared of Randy. His growl is worse than his bite." Heath eyed his brothers. "You want to fill me in?"
Randy bit his lip and looked away.
"Don't look at me." Sage shrugged. "Everest called and said Randy got bad news and I needed to help find him."
"Shit. I bet I know what this is about." Heath sighed. "You might as well tell him, Rand."
"Tell me what?" Sage looked confused.
So much for not letting his brothers know. Randy glared at Heath, but his anger really wasn't at his brother, it was at himself, maybe a bit at the doctor, and a lot at the damn shark. The last thing he wanted was to admit to his brothers he wasn't ever going to be the same.
"Rand, let us help you. What did the doctor say?" Heath stared at him. "We're not the enemy here. We're your family."
Randy huffed out a long breath and looked at Sage. "I had a problem after the attack. My cock wasn't working right. Tevon couldn't figure out why, so I went to see a human doctor."
"Not working right? What the hell does that mean?" Sage asked.
"It means he can't get hard." Everest called as he stepped from the water. "From what he told me he hasn't been able to since the accident."
"Thanks, Ev." Randy shook his head.
"No point in making it something it's not, right?" Everest sat down beside Heath. "So what did the doctor say?"
Wishing he'd just stayed with Tevon and avoided this with his brothers, Randy looked out over the ocean. "The doctor said there was nothing physically wrong with me. He suggested that it's something mental, like I'm purposely keeping myself from getting hard, which is just plain fucked up. There has to be something he missed."
No one said a word as they stared at him.
"How does someone mentally block their cock from getting hard?" Randy continued. "I'm not trying to stay soft. I want to get hard. How can I be blocking it? It just doesn't make sense. I can see if I was scared of the water, of another attack, but why the hell would my mind block the use of my cock?"
"You've tried to use it, right? You know." Sage gestured with his hand as if he was jacking off.
"Yeah, I tried that. Hell, Tevon and I even had sex. Nothing. Not a single sign of life. He and I have tried everything to get it to work. Do you know how embarrassing it is not to be able to get hard when someone is sucking on your…" He pushed up and strode toward the water. "Never mind. It's my problem, not yours."
"Rand, wait up. Don't go." Heath called as he stood. "We want to help, but I don't know how. Maybe it will just take some time."
Randy turned and looked back at his brothers. "And if it doesn't?" No one had an answer for him. He saw the pity in their eyes and it only made the situation worse. He didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him. "Just forget it, guys, it's not your issue."
He started to step into the water, ready to escape, when Heath called out, stopping him.
"Father's gone missing."
Randy didn't think the day could get worse, but it just did. He took a deep breath as he heard several of the others gasp. He turned, staring at his brothers, his own issues forgotten. "When? How? I thought he was under guard."
Heath nodded. "He was. We had both Father and Balick under guard, but it seems one of them had friends we didn't know of. Six of the Australian clan are dead and there is no sign of Father or Balick anywhere. I've sent guards out to hunt for him, but I fear he will go into hiding for the time being."
"You don't think he'll come back here?" Everest asked.
"Oh, I'm sure he'll be back, but I don't think right away. He will gather those who will fight for him. He won't come now when we are expecting him." Heath stood and faced his brothers. "I've sent word to the other tribes and up the security around the caves, but I need you all to be very cautious when you're on your own. He's most likely after Sage and me, but we all need to be careful."
"Have you contacted Barron?" Sage asked.
"It was the first thing I did. Now I wish he'd stayed here. I hate to think he's out traveling without an idea of what is going on. Hopefully, he is with one of the clans and will know as soon as messengers arrive." Heath dug at the sand with his toes. "Sage, you knew Father better than anyone. I'd like to meet with you tonight or tomorrow and discuss a few things."
"Sure, I can stay tonight." Sage glanced at Everest. "You'll call Gary for me when you get back, right? Tell him I'll be home in the morning before he leaves for his convention."
"Yeah, no problem. You sure you don't want us all to stay?" Everest glanced around the group.
"No. There's no point yet. Let me gather more information and I'll call a meeting. I think Randy needs to get back to Tevon and I want you to swim with him."
"I don't need an escort," Randy protested. He still stood a few feet from his brothers and forced himself not to turn and jump into the waves. As much as he wanted to escape on his own, his brothers would just follow, and he wasn't strong enough yet to out swim them.
"You're both headed the same place, doesn't hurt you to swim together. As for your issue, do you want to talk about it?" Heath's voice softened.
"No, I didn't want to talk about it in the first place." Randy stood with his hands on his hips. "But now that you all know, I'll leave so you can start laughing about it."
"Fuck off, Rand. You know us better than that. We might give you shit about some things, but we wouldn't mess with you about this. We want to help if we can." Everest stepped in front of him. "Maybe talking it over will help get things working again."
"You sound like that human doctor."
"Maybe he knows what he's talking about." Sage came forward. "Listen, you don't want to talk to us, fine, but go talk to Tevon. He's a doctor and your lover. If anyone can help you overcome whatever is causing this, it's him."
"But know you can talk to any one of us anytime you need to." Heath walked over to him and lowered his voice. "We'll figure this out. You need anything, just say the word."
Randy swallowed back emotions that welled up inside him. "Thanks." He glanced over Heath's shoulder to his other brothers. "We all have enough to worry about with Father missing. I'll be fine. It was just a shock when the doctor told me there was nothing wrong with me."
