Feel (Sovereign Book 3)

by BJ Harvey

  When Barrett reached three, I elbowed Gavin in the stomach and pushed away just as Barrett jumped out of his chair and rushed him. Unfortunately, Gavin had enough time to swing the gun around and squeeze one shot out, shooting Barrett in the chest at close range as Barrett’s torso crashed into Gavin’s body, taking them both down and sending the gun scattering across the floor to my feet.

  “Aly!” Aiden yelled, but without thinking, I bent down, wrapped my fingers around the grip and took the two steps toward Gavin, pointing the gun down at him.

  “Aiden, see to Barrett,” I said, my voice deceptively calm when inside, my heart was shattered in a million pieces inside my chest.

  “Aly, put the gun down. I’ve got him,” Aiden instructed, but I was out of it, too focused on Gavin and blinded by everything that had happened because of this man.

  “See to Barrett,” I growled through gritted teeth.

  Gavin’s eyes were wide, but I couldn’t see any fear or remorse in them. Then he smirked at me. “You won’t shoot me. Your father didn’t have the guts to fight me when I took him down, and you don’t either,” he said, trying to goad me.

  “You killed my father?” I said on a gasp, all semblance of self-control I’d thought I had seeping out of me as I had visions of taking out the man that stole my father from me and tried to ruin his legacy.

  “You should never underestimate a Jacobs. We never give up.” Gavin jerked up, reaching out for my legs, but my finger tightened on the trigger. Aiden yelled, “Aly, No!” just as my arm jolted back violently and I watched a bullet tear through Gavin’s flesh and I knew in that moment, nothing would ever be the same again.

  Hours later, I sat in a hospital waiting room, my feet up on the seat and my arms wrapped around my knees. Aiden hadn’t left my side since we’d arrived, but we’d barely spoken because I didn’t know what to say. What he’d done and what it had resulted in kept playing on repeat in my head. I was so angry at him for how he had put my mother, myself and Barrett at risk. It was because of him and his spite that Barrett was in surgery fighting for his life.

  Marlee had popped in to check how I was holding up and pulled Aiden aside to talk to him, their conversation quite heated before she walked over to me, gave me a gentle shoulder squeeze, and left again.

  “I need to go make a formal statement,” Aiden said, when he sat back down beside me. “I’m facing disciplinary action at the very least. I impeded a federal investigation resulting in an agent’s kidnapping and shooting.” His tone was resigned. When I didn’t say anything, he added, “Detectives are going to want to interview you as well.”

  I just nodded, not looking at him. “I’m not sorry.”

  “What?” he asked.

  “For shooting him. If it came down to letting him shoot me or Barrett, I’d do the same thing.”

  He reached over and wrapped one of his hands over mine. “Aly, look at me.” The tone of his voice pulled me out of whatever place I was in, and I looked up to meet his eyes. “I would’ve shot the bastard myself if you hadn’t. You just got there first.”

  “You told me not to. You didn’t want me to shoot him.”

  “Because that’s not you. You’re not someone who shoots people. You’re not trained, you’re definitely not experienced, and you’re probably going to have nightmares about it.”

  “I’m not sorry,” I whispered, looking over his shoulder and out the window. Dusk had given way to night, the fading light being swallowed up by the dark sky.

  “Alyssa?”

  My head snapped up. Standing at the door was my mom.

  “Mom!” I cried. I jumped out of my seat and rushed over to her, wrapping my arms around her chest and burying my face in her shoulder just as I burst into tears. She clung to me, her own sobs ringing in my ears. “I was so worried about you.”

  “It’s going to be okay,” she murmured, as she turned her head and kissed my cheek.

  We pulled apart, and I ran my eyes down her body before returning to her face. “How did you get here?”

  “A police officer met me at the airport. He told me there had been an incident and I couldn’t go home. Then they took me to the police precinct where a female detective sat me down and explained what had happened. Is the man Gavin shot going to be okay?”

  My voice broke, and I felt my eyes grow wet. “I . . . I don’t know yet.”

  “And . . .” she hesitated before finishing her question, “Gavin?”

  That was when Aiden appeared at our side. “Mrs. Barnes, I’m Detective Aiden Lawrence. Mr. Barnes was shot in the shoulder and the last update we had was that he was being prepped for surgery. He is under police guard and will be arrested when he is up for questioning.”

  “Oh dear God. I think I need to sit down,” Mom replied. I wrapped one arm around her shoulder and led her over to where I’d been sitting.

  “I’m so sorry, Mom,” I said, one of my hands still clutched in hers as I sat down beside her. “I didn’t know where you were; you didn’t call me.”

  “Gavin changed during the honeymoon. He wasn’t the kind-hearted man I knew before the wedding. He was distant, angry. He kept asking about the company and talking about things that had happened to him in the past. I needed time to think so I decided to book myself into a retreat as far away as possible.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

  “Can I get you ladies a coffee? Water?” Aiden asked.

  “Water would be good. Thank you, Detective,” Mom replied.

  I lifted my eyes to meet his. His expression was unreadable, but I knew the situation wasn’t easy for him. With a curt nod, he walked out of the room.

  “Will you tell me everything that happened?” Mom asked. She pulled a handkerchief out of her purse and dabbed at her eyes.

  “I will. Not today, but I promise I will.”

  “That’s all I ask.”

  “Who’s that man to you?” she asked, her eyes to the door where Aiden had left from.

  “That’s another long story.” I leaned forward, resting an elbow on my leg and holding my head up with my hand. “But he did something that led to the shooting.”

  Mom gasped. “And the man Gavin shot?”

  “He’s the man that I love and that turned my life upside down.”

  She squeezed my hand. “Is he going to be okay?” she asked softly.

  “I don’t know,” I replied, my voice cracking once more.

  “How bad was it?”

  “He was shot in the chest. They struggled to stabilize him at the scene, then brought him to the hospital. I haven’t seen him since. Aiden has tried to get an update but all we know is that he had a collapsed lung and they had to rush him into surgery. He’s still in there.”

  “Lys, he’s going to be okay.”

  “Yeah, Mom,” I replied automatically, not believing it for a second. I knew that with everything we’d been through to get to this point, I couldn’t trust life to do right by me.

  There was always an equal action and reaction to everything that happened. I’d hurt Aiden—a good man—when I followed my heart and chose Barrett. My mother—a good woman—had been tricked by a man hell-bent on revenge for something my father did more than thirty years ago.

  And Barrett had been doing his job and because he fell in love with me, he’d been shot and was fighting for his life somewhere in this hospital.

  Mom and I sat in silence until Aiden returned to the room, carrying two bottles of water. He handed them to us and sat down in the chair opposite ours.

  “I just flashed my badge and asked for an update. Lucas is out of surgery and has been taken to the ICU. They’re not sure when he’ll wake up, but he should make a full recovery.”

  My shoulders slumped and I leaned into Mom’s side, tears once again falling as relief swept through me.

  “I need to call my lawyer,” Mom announced, once I’d composed myself. She released me and stood up, hoisting the strap of her purse over her shoulder. />
  “Mom, I don’t think—”

  “Alyssa, I do not want to be married to that vile man for a minute longer. I’m going to call Kevin now and get papers filed by morning.”

  “Mrs. Barnes—”

  “It’s Mrs. Jacobs, Detective. I’m not going to have that man taint my good name for a second longer than I have to.

  “The company, Mom. . .”

  “He did not have my permission to do anything, Alyssa. The company is still ours and always has been,” she says emphatically. “Will you be okay for a few minutes, Alyssa?”

  I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at her. I was happy to see the return of the strong-willed woman who’d raised me. “Yeah, Mom.”

  It was after she’d left the room that a doctor wearing light blue scrubs walked in. “Family of Mark Lucas?”

  “Me,” I said, moving to my feet.

  “And you are?” he asked.

  “Alyssa Jacobs, his . . .”

  “She’s his fiancée,” Aiden replied automatically from beside me.

  “Right,” the doctor replied. “Mr. Lucas has been moved to the ICU. I can get a nurse to take you to see him if you’d like.”

  “Yes!” My voice was hoarse, but I cleared my throat and replied, “Please.”

  I turned around to face Aiden when the doctor left us alone. “Aiden, I need you to tell me why you did it.”

  He blew out a slow breath and his shoulders slumped. “I was pissed off and I acted out. I shouldn’t have done it, and I’ve already told Marlee. My problem has always been that I act first and think later. I’m going to have to work on that if I want any career in law enforcement.”

  “You could’ve gotten him killed! All of us!” I said with a shriek.

  “A wounded man can be irrational. I did a stupid thing, and I’m going to pay for that. I won’t ever forgive myself for what I did.” He dropped his head down, raking his fingers through his hair.

  “Aiden, Christy played you both. Barrett didn’t know you were still together.” His eyes jerked up to meet mine.

  “What?” he whispered.

  “She played you both and you’ve punished Barrett, for something she did … for something I did. Don’t you see how reckless and misguided that was?” I waited for an answer but somehow I knew I wouldn’t get one. His eyes were full of pain and regret. “I know I hurt you, but you should never intentionally set out to ruin someone. That’s not the man I thought you were.”

  “Don’t, Aly. I can let you go now. It’s not going to be easy, and I’m never going to forget everything we shared, but the pain I’m feeling right now is my punishment.” His voice was gruff, his eyes full of regret.

  “I never meant to hurt you. I hope you know that.”

  “I entered the fight willingly, Aly, and I’d do it all over again for a chance at having you. But now I need to go face the music for what I’ve done.”

  I stepped forward and closed the space between us. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I hugged him tight, letting his warmth seep into me. I turned my head and kissed his cheek before moving away from him.

  “Goodbye, Aiden.”

  “Bye, Aly.” Then he walked out the door and out of my life.

  A few minutes later, a nurse came to collect me. Before we left, I asked the nurses to tell my mom where I had gone and to tell her to wait for me.

  The nurse and I went up two floors in the elevator, and she escorted me into the ICU. The moment I saw Barrett’s stricken body lying on the hospital bed, I stopped moving. There were two plastic prongs connected to an oxygen tube in his nose and wires connected to his chest. The steady beep of the heart monitor gave me proof that he was alive. I quickly moved to his side and sat down beside him.

  I reached my hand up and laced my fingers with his, taking in his bare chest and the white dressing covering his right pectoral. I watched the slow rise and fall of his chest and lifted the back of his hand to my mouth before resting my lips against his skin.

  I don’t know how long I sat there for—it might have been minutes or hours—but the room was dimly lit when Barrett’s hand twitched in mine.

  My head jerked up, and I saw groggy blue eyes staring back at me.

  “Hey,” he said roughly.

  “Hey,” I replied, and through my tears I smiled and asked, “Want to play a game?”

  I stood in the large shower of the Sovereign’s presidential suite with my face pointed up, water from the monsoon shower head cascading down over my face and my body. I rubbed my soapy hands along my arms and chest, relishing in the afterglow of what had been an amazing day.

  A lot had happened since that final showdown with Gavin a year ago. He was now an inmate in a high-security penitentiary in California, having fought—and lost—all of the charges brought against him by both the LVPD and the FBI.

  My mother did as promised, she contacted her lawyer on the night of the shooting and the very next day he filed a motion to have the married annulled. It meant that by the time the government was finished with him, Gavin Barnes had lost everything, including the Sovereign

  The Sovereign was put up for sale, and together with a group of investors—including my mother and Bridget’s husband—Barrett and I purchased the property in its entirety. Having left the FBI after the court case, Barrett now ran the hotel along with a board of directors.

  A few weeks after Barrett was discharged from the hospital, we travelled back to Seattle to take care of Jacobs Publishing. I promoted Carrie within the company and appointed a trusted colleague of mine to oversee Seattle operations as my right hand man.

  After selling both of our apartments, Barrett and I relocated to Vegas for the duration of Gavin’s trial, and for the time being, lived in the presidential suite of the Sovereign while we searched for the perfect home.

  Three months ago, I’d surprised Barrett with a repeat date on the rooftop. I even roped in Bart—who incidentally was never a porter, but Barrett’s partner—to act as our waiter, for old time’s sake.

  I thought I’d finally got one up on Barrett by surprising him with a positive pregnancy test underneath a silver food dome but as always, he had to have the last word. He did this when he dropped to one knee and asked me to marry him just as a wave of fireworks exploded off the roof of a neighboring building.

  He’d never stopped showing me that I’d made the right decision in choosing him. Every minute of every day, I knew deep down in my heart that Barrett felt he was the luckiest man in the world to have me in his life and in return, I gave all of that back to him in everything I did and said.

  My mother had started dating her lawyer, Kevin Gregory. She was understandably gun shy, and reluctant to accept his dinner invitation when he’d first asked her out two months ago, but I could see that he made her happy. It also helped that she’d known him all of my life, and he’d never once done anything that could harm either of us.

  Warm air brushed over me, and I turned to look over my shoulder to see the hooded eyes of my husband. His chest hit my back and his hands snaked around my hips and slid over my front. One of his hands moved up to cup my jaw and the other rested gently on my round, four-month-pregnant belly.

  “You took your time,” I murmured against his lips, just as he touched his mouth to mine.

  “I had to wait for room service to arrive. I knew we wouldn’t want to be interrupted once we were naked.”

  “Good idea,” I replied, before I traced the tip of my tongue along his bottom lip and moaned when he ground his hard cock against my bare ass in response. I arched my back, leaning into him as I smiled against his parted lips.

  “Mrs. Lucas, I think you play very dirty.”

  “Very dirty,” I whispered.

  “I think you need to be thoroughly cleaned,” he replied, his hands gliding against my soapy skin.

  “Do you think my husband is up to the task?”

  “Let’s find out, shall we?” he replied. Our tongues dueled as his hand dipped between my le
gs and started a torturous dance on my clit.

  Never one to be outdone, I tangled my fingers into his wet hair and held him in place while reaching behind my back and wrapping my fist around his cock, stroking up and down ever so slowly.

  “You’re a tease,” he groaned, dragging his teeth against my bottom lip before he buried his face in my neck and nipped the skin, causing my head to fall to the side and grant him access.

  My movements sped up, and I flexed my fingers on every downward jerk, relishing in the growls escaping his mouth and vibrating against me.

  “I need to be inside you, Mrs. Lucas,” he murmured as he sucked my earlobe between his lips and sent an electric jolt coursing through me.

  Without letting go of his cock, I turned around to face him and rose up on my toes to kiss his lips. Never looking away, I watched in fascinated wonder as I pleasured him, loving the heated gaze directed at me. “I think I need you inside me too, Mr. Lucas.”

  “Thank fuck for that,” he spat out as he wrapped his arms around my hips, gripped my ass and lifted me up. My legs hooked around his back as he walked me towards the shower wall. Leaning back against the tile I guided him to my entrance and moaned loudly when he thrust up at the same as time I dropped down.

  “Fucking perfect,” he said against my lips, and he wasn’t far wrong.

  Fifteen months ago, I never would’ve imagined I would end up Mrs. Mark Barrett Lucas.

  Everything we’d fought for and lived through—those we’d loved and lost, the pain, the tears, the broken hearts—all of it had led to the moment earlier that day when we were pronounced man and wife.

  We had a bright future laid out before us, and we were excited to move forward with our lives. Five months later, we celebrated our journey when—with my husband at my side—I welcomed our son, Dillon Mark Lucas, into the world.

  The End

  Coming Soon

  Engage – Aiden Lawrence’s Story

  Continue reading for an exclusive excerpt from the first book in BJ’s hot new romantic comedy series