Sensational

by Janet Nissenson

  Julia glanced up at that particular moment and caught his gaze, and the look on her face was one of both interest and bewilderment. Her mouth began to turn upwards at the corners, at least until Lauren said something to call her attention away.

  In the very next moment, Lauren was looking directly at him, and he could swear he felt shards of ice emanating from the ferocious scowl she directed his way. He flinched involuntarily, but nonetheless began to walk over to the table, ignoring the murderous glare she gave him.

  Ben was uncomfortably aware that five sets of female eyes were glancing curiously between him and Lauren. She had a death grip on her coffee cup, and he only hoped she didn’t give in to any impulse to fling the whole thing in his face. And even though common sense was prompting him to walk away, a more impulsive side of him that rarely surfaced couldn’t resist antagonizing her just a bit.

  “Lauren,” he drawled in a very deliberate tone. “This is something of a surprise. We weren’t expecting you here until Monday.”

  Lauren tried unsuccessfully to mask the dark look on her face as she gave a careless shrug. “Free country last time I checked. I didn’t realize I needed to check in with you whenever I come to New York. And I’m obviously not here a few days early because of work.”

  Ben almost shivered at the iciness of her words, and a rather uncomfortable silence fell over the table as the two of them continued to face off as though they were adversaries instead of former lovers.

  It was the woman in the teal silk tunic who broke the ice as she smiled warmly at Ben, extending her slim hand to him. “I’m Lauren’s mother, Natalie Benoit. I take it you and Lauren work together at the magazine?”

  Ben gave what he hoped was a dazzling smile to Lauren’s mother and shook her hand. “A pleasure, Ms. Benoit. I confess to knowing very little about art, but I’m a great admirer of the few pieces of yours I’ve been fortunate enough to view. And since Lauren seems reluctant to introduce us, I’ll do the honors. I’m Ben Rafferty, Lauren’s – er, boss.” He had quite intentionally not mentioned that the one time he had seen her artwork had been at her very own home in Big Sur.

  Natalie’s soft blue-gray eyes widened slightly at this announcement, leaving Ben to wonder how often Lauren had grumbled about him to her family, but she merely replied diplomatically, “A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Rafferty. Though I’m sure you’ve realized by now that no one really dares to boss Lauren around.”

  Ben chuckled, as did every other woman at the table – save Lauren, of course. The sulky look on her face turned downright murderous when he replied in an amused voice, “Oh, trust me. I realized that from the very first time I met her.”

  A fleeting memory of that initial meeting flickered through his mind now – that of Lauren standing there defiantly, her wet hair tumbling carelessly about her shoulders, her breasts proudly displayed in that barely there bikini top, her slim, tanned legs and small, dainty feet bare. She’d been the very image of the California Girl that Levi had dubbed her, though privately Ben had always thought of her more as his dream girl.

  The woman Ben had pegged as Lauren’s sister was now extending her hand to him. “Since Lauren is once again exhibiting atrocious manners,” she said drolly, “I’ll do the honors. I’m Julia, her twin sister.”

  As they shook hands, Julia introduced the three other woman at the table – the tall, raven haired woman with the haunted eyes was their friend Angela Del Carlo; the woman in the sophisticated dark blue dress turned out to be Madelyn Benoit, Natalie’s own twin, and the girls’ beloved aunt; and the older woman with the twinkling eyes and welcoming smile was Alexis Atwood, Julia’s future mother-in-law.

  Ben’s gaze dropped to Julia’s left hand at this news, noticing the large, square-cut diamond on the third finger, and wondered when she had gotten engaged.

  “So when is the big day?” he inquired politely.

  “June twenty-eighth, God willing,” Julia told him. “We just got engaged on New Year’s Eve, so we’re trying to throw everything together in only six months. The girls’ getaway this weekend is so we can pick out the dresses. Except that Lauren has presented me with her list of demands, and made things very difficult.”

  Ben smirked, easily able to imagine what Lauren’s “list of demands” looked like. The only time he’d ever seen her wearing an actual dress had been at the holiday party, and the memory of how she’d looked in that sensual black dress was also burned into his brain, likely for all time.

  “That’s hardly a surprise,” he replied. “What shocks me more is the thought of Lauren actually wearing a dress. Now that I’d pay good money to see.”

  Julia gave him a conspiratorial little wink, her mouth quirking up into a smile. It was obvious that she was far more good natured than her crabby, temperamental twin. “Give me your email address and I’ll make sure to send you a photo or two.”

  Ben laughed when Lauren shot her sister an evil look.

  “You wouldn’t dare, Jules,” she hissed. “And I’m not sure why you’re so shocked,” she told Ben irritably. “I’ve been known to wear a dress or a skirt on occasion.”

  Not wanting to recall yet again about how sensational she had looked in that dramatic black lace gown, Ben tactfully steered the subject in a slightly different direction by asking Julia, “The wedding’s in Carmel, I assume?”

  “Pebble Beach, actually. But most of our coastal communities all tend to share borders and flow from one to another,” admitted Julia.

  Natalie regarded Ben curiously at his mention of Carmel, and he hoped he hadn’t given anything away. “Have you ever visited the area, Mr. Rafferty?”

  Ben smiled at Lauren’s mother, who gave the impression of being a kind, soft-spoken woman – very unlike her volatile daughter. “It’s Ben, Ms. Benoit. And, yes – I was fortunate enough to spend some time in the area a number of years ago. You’re very lucky to live in what I personally consider the most beautiful region in the entire world. The time I spent there was easily the most memorable of my life.”

  He gave Lauren a very pointed glance as he said this, but she stubbornly refused to look his way, and mumbled something under her breath. He couldn’t understand a word, but just guessed it was not complimentary towards him in the least.

  There was another awkward pause until he addressed the table as a whole. “Well, I’ll let you ladies get back to your meal. It was a pleasure to meet all of you. Lauren – bright and early Monday morning, hmm?”

  Lauren gave a flippant shrug. “Maybe not so early. Or bright. I’ve got a hot date Sunday night.”

  Ben felt himself tense up in mingled annoyance and jealousy, wondering if she’d made up the “hot date” on the spur of the moment just to piss him off, and fervently hoped that was the case. “I see,” he replied tightly. “Well, then, I suppose we’ll just see you whenever you decide to honor us with your presence. And tell your date to watch out for those sharp elbows of yours, unless he wants a broken nose like the last one.”

  With that parting shot, he gave her a little salute and walked towards the exit, trying to control his mirth until he was safely outside. Considering the way Lauren had been giving him the death stare just now, he didn’t even want to imagine her reaction if she heard him laughing at her.

  Meeting the rest of her family, and the woman he now recalled was her best friend, had been completely unexpected. He’d been pleasantly surprised to realize that her mother and sister both seemed like gracious, warm-hearted women, and he marveled that two sisters who looked so much alike could be worlds apart in personality. Ben guessed that the amicable Julia took after their sweet, gentle mother, while Lauren was much more like their plain-speaking, rather fearsome father.

  But he knew Lauren had other facets to her personality, too, ones that she regretfully didn’t share with him these days. He’d seen first hand how friendly and solicitous she had been to all of her neighbors and friends in Big Sur; how silly and affectionate she’d acted towards her parents’ dogs; and
, most of all, how passionate and caring she had been with him. She’d fussed over him, gone out of her way to make him feel at home in the cabin, and had been a generous, unselfish lover.

  As he caught a cab back to the office, Ben was filled with regret once again, wondering what it would have been like to be a part of Lauren’s loving, close-knit family. He could scarcely remember now what it had been like to live with both of his parents at the same time, their divorce having happened when he was just a boy. After that, they had both paid far more attention to their new spouses and Ben’s half-siblings than to Ben himself, and he’d had to learn quickly how to look out for himself.

  And while Elle certainly cared for him and even fussed from time to time, her parents still continued to treat him with a distant politeness. Ben couldn’t recall even one time when Sunita had smiled at him the way Natalie Benoit just had, with genuine warmth and kindness. And he knew that the Kimbroughs would never consider him good enough for their only child, no matter how well he dressed or how hard he worked to polish up his manners.

  But the opportunity to become a part of the McKinnons’ happy, welcoming family was now so far out of his reach that he felt like a fool for even wishing it could be. He’d made a choice back in Big Sur, one he had honestly believed was the right one for Lauren. But it had turned out to be the absolute wrong one for himself.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Late June – Carmel, California

  Given that she was getting married in less than twenty four hours, Julia knew that she should really be trying to get some sleep right about now, instead of sitting out on her parents’ deck to watch the stars come out with her sister. But she’d been more than a little worried about Lauren for weeks now, and had gone along with her suggestion to wind down for a little while after the hours long rehearsal dinner they had attended tonight.

  “It’s almost a full moon,” noted Julia wistfully. “Just a couple of more days. Too bad it hadn’t coincided with the wedding.”

  Lauren shrugged. “Better that it doesn’t happen on your wedding day. Enough shit can go wrong tomorrow, you don’t need the extra complication of a full moon to make things crazier.”

  Julia frowned. “What makes you think something is going to go wrong tomorrow? Oh, God, please tell me you re-confirmed with everyone like you promised.”

  “Relax, would you?” asked Lauren impatiently. “I already told you – three times now – that I confirmed with all the vendors. They all got the message loud and clear – be there on time and don’t screw up or they’ll get a hundred scathing reviews on Yelp.”

  Julia blew out a very tense breath. “Sorry if I’m acting a little paranoid. And you’re right – nobody would dare risk pissing you off, so I’m sure everything is going to be fine.”

  Lauren winked. “That’s the attitude, baby sis. And you’re even going to have great weather for your big day. It’s supposed to be even warmer than it was today. Considering that it could just as easily have been foggy and cool this time of year, you lucked out big time.”

  Julia grinned at her sister. “I’ll bet you arranged for that too, didn’t you?”

  “Absolutely,” agreed Lauren. “No way would I allow the weather to be anything less than perfect for your wedding. You deserve it, Jules.”

  Julia laid her head back against the Adirondack chair and closed her eyes. “I still can’t believe that by this time tomorrow I’ll be married. You know, as many times as I organized my Barbie doll weddings and designed my own wedding gowns, somehow I never envisioned myself getting married at this point in my life.”

  Lauren arched a brow. “That’s not what you said when you were sixteen, and the only thing you could talk about was how much you loved Sam and how the two of you were going to get married as soon as you both graduated from college. You were going to be a football wife while still running your own design firm.”

  Julia gave her twin a sheepish look. “God, I forgot about all that. It seems like such a long time ago, you know? Why do we always think our first love is going to be the one that lasts forever?”

  Lauren fell unnaturally silent at her sister’s hypothetical question, and merely stared out at the ocean, listening to the steady, soothing rush of the surf as it broke over the rocks. She was quiet for so long that Julia wasn’t sure what startled her more – the fact that Lauren could actually be silent for more than five minutes, or what she said when she finally spoke.

  “Sometimes it does,” was all Lauren replied, but those three words spoke volumes as far as Julia was concerned. Her sister was unsmiling, a haunted look in the green eyes that were exactly like Julia’s, and it seemed as though Lauren was a million miles away.

  “Are you speaking from personal experience?” asked Julia lightly, trying to cajole her twin out of whatever uncharacteristic funk she’d slipped into.

  Lauren remained silent for several more seconds before staring directly at Julia. A wistful look had come over her face.

  “Would that be so hard for you to believe, Jules?” she asked with a sad little smile. “That I’d ever really been in love?”

  Now it was Julia’s turn to fall silent as she stared at her sister, stunned. “Have you?” she murmured in wonder. Lauren never talked about the men in her life, had never, to the best of Julia’s knowledge, ever brought one home to meet their parents. And as close as they were, despite the natural bond they’d always shared as twins, Julia knew this was the first time that Lauren had ever willingly brought up a subject as taboo as her love life.

  Lauren hugged her knees against her chest, her gaze returning to the water as she replied in a slow, almost unnaturally calm manner. “Once. The summer I was twenty. Mom and Dad were on that trip to Scotland and the British Isles, and you were still in New York – must have been the year you interned at Donna Karan. I was staying in Big Sur, as usual, and had the dogs with me.”

  “Is that where you met him?”

  Lauren nodded, the long fall of her hair partially concealing her face. “Yes. He was visiting the coast, kind of a working vacation. We spent ten days together – the ten best days of my life. I was crazy about him, Jules. Out of my mind crazy in love. I had never believed I could feel that much, especially so quickly.”

  “So what happened?” probed Julia gently, sensing instantly there was a great deal more to this story.

  Lauren shrugged. “He left. Just took off and left one morning. No note, no good-bye, no attempt to contact me ever again.”

  “And he broke your heart.”

  Lauren’s head snapped up, her eyes blazing emerald fire. She opened her mouth to protest vehemently before closing it again. Instead, she scrubbed a hand over her nose and mouth, and Julia could have sworn she saw the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes.

  “Yeah,” admitted Lauren roughly. “The lousy, lying bastard broke my heart into a million fucking pieces. I was furious when I woke up to find him gone, was all set to chase after him, hunt him down like the dog he was, and kick his ass.”

  “You mean you didn’t?” asked Julia teasingly, trying to coax her fearless sister out of her shocking state of pathos.

  “No. I had a pretty good idea of where to start looking, too. But instead of chasing after him, I just sort of -” Lauren paused, as if choosing her words carefully, “gave up.”

  “Gave up? You?” Julia shook her head. “Uh, uh, I don’t believe that. You’re not the sort to give up – ever. So what really stopped you from going after him?”

  Lauren threw up her hands. “Pride, I suppose. It was pretty obvious at that point that he wasn’t anywhere near as crazy about me as I’d thought he was. I’ll give the bastard total props for being a very, very good actor. The whole time we were together I was convinced he was as much in love with me as I was with him – even though neither of us actually came out and said the words.”

  “Is that all it was – pride?” asked Julia quietly. “Or was it maybe that broken heart he left you with?”

  Lauren cl
osed her eyes, pinching her nose as she rather visibly fought off tears. “It was the only time in my life I ever cried over a man,” she whispered. “And the last time I’ve cried about anything. I swore I’d never let anyone get that close to me again. Instead, if there are hearts to be broken, I’m the one who’s going to do the breaking.”

  Julia reached over and tenderly tucked a long strand of hair behind her sister’s ear. “How come I’ve never heard any of this before?” she asked in disbelief. “Six years and you’ve never said a word until now.”

  “Who knows?” replied Lauren carelessly. “I mean, you were way on the other side of the country, busy with school and your internship. Plus, you’d gotten involved with that asshole Lucas – the one I knew there was something fishy about – and you were always busy every time we talked. Since then – well, I’ve just tried to forget about it, I guess.”

  “But evidently you really haven’t.”

  “No.” Lauren took Julia’s hand and squeezed it, a forced smile returning to her features. “But, hey, this isn’t about me right now. Not sure why in hell I felt a need to play True Confessions tonight – guess I’m just feeling a little sentimental since you’re getting married tomorrow. And this should all be about you, Jules. It’s your special day, not mine, so let’s stop rehashing shit that happened a lifetime ago.”

  Julia frowned. “It should be about you sometimes, too, Lauren. You spend all of your time looking out for everyone else – me, Angela, Aunt Maddy, all of your crew at work. It’s okay to talk about your own problems sometimes, too.”