Lauren grinned. “Hey, I don’t have problems. I make damned sure of that, you know. I’ve got a great job, an awesome cabin on the coast, the best family anyone could ever ask for. I’m footloose and fancy free, don’t have to answer for my time to anybody else, and can do whatever the hell I please. I’m living a dream, Jules. No worries, no problems.”
“Except for that broken heart that never healed,” mused Julia.
Lauren’s expression shuttered immediately. “Yeah, well, that’s not something I let myself think about too often. Because when I do, I wind up drinking – a lot. And I sure as hell can’t wake up with a hangover tomorrow morning. Mom would be seriously pissed.”
Julia frowned. “You’ve been drinking a lot more this past year or so than I’ve ever remembered you doing. Have you – I mean, do you have any idea where this guy is these days?”
“Of course.” Lauren gave her an odd little smile. “I know exactly where he is, Jules. Have for quite some time now.”
“Oh.” Julia was more than a little taken aback by this revelation. “Who is this guy anyway?”
Lauren shook her head. “You’re a smart girl, Jules, with that Ivy League education. And I’ve given you plenty of clues. If you think real hard you’ll figure it out sooner than later. Now, come on, time for bed, you blushing bride. And if I know that dirty talking, horny bastard you’re marrying he’s planning on doing plenty to make you blush on your wedding night. So get some sleep while you can.”
“Okay.” Julia sighed as she stood and linked arms with her sister as they walked inside the house. “But I want you to promise me that if you ever want to talk some more about this mystery man then I’m all ears. Promise?”
Lauren gave her twin a peck on the cheek. “Promise. But don’t hold your breath. In the meanwhile, I’m a little worried about Aunt Maddy. She and Mom were talking the other day and I could swear it was about some man she used to know. I’ve always been convinced that she’s got this big ole secret love affair in her past. One day soon I’m just going to come out and ask her. After I’ve plied her with a few drinks first, of course.”
Julia grinned, grateful to see that her nosy, interfering sister was back to her usual tricks. “Are you ever going to stop trying to butt into everyone’s lives?”
“Never. After all, that’s what I do best, isn’t it?”
***
July – New York
“Hey, Ben You gotta check this out. Photos of Lauren from her sister’s wedding last month. And get this – hair, heels, makeup and jewelry. Oh, and can’t forget the bouquet. She is so going to get ribbed about this next time she’s in town!”
Ben stopped in his tracks en route to his office as Chris called out to him. Chris had dropped by the office today, even though the team wasn’t due to head out on another assignment for a few more days. As was his norm, Chris was wearing a truly odd assortment of clothing today – Bermuda shorts in an eye-popping plaid, a Mickey Mouse tank top that exposed the tattoos of carton characters on each of his biceps, purple Crocs, and even though it was eighty five and sticky as a honeycomb outside, a knit cap that had been pulled down over his long hair.
But it wasn’t Chris’s odd attire that Ben was gazing at right now. Rather, it was the photo on Chris’s computer monitor that caught and held his attention. In it, Lauren was wearing a long, floaty bridesmaid’s gown of a mint green floral print, and she looked breathtakingly beautiful as well as exquisitely feminine. And he had never wanted her more than he did at this particular moment.
She was alone in the photo, holding her bouquet of pale pink roses and light green hydrangeas. Her long hair fell in thick, tawny curls halfway down her back, and her radiant features had been enhanced with a subtle application of makeup. She was smiling, her green eyes glowing with mischief, and she looked happier than he could remember seeing her in – well, nearly six years.
“How did you get a hold of that photo?” asked Ben. “I can’t believe Lauren voluntarily emailed it to you.”
Chris chuckled. “You got that right. This was actually posted on her Facebook page, and there are dozens more. Aren’t you Facebook friends with Lauren?”
“No.” Ben shook his head. “I don’t think she’d consider me to be any sort of friend to her at the moment.”
There had been numerous occasions over the years when he had been tempted to look her up on social media, to see if there was any information about her online – where she was living, working, if she had a boyfriend. But he’d always resisted the urge, knowing he would weaken far too easily and either try to get in touch with her or, worse, give himself still another reason to pine for her. Not to mention the fact that she would have certainly rejected or blocked any attempt he might have made to friend her on social media.
“She looks happy.”
Chris cocked his head at Ben’s observation. “Well, why wouldn’t she? I mean, weddings are supposed to be happy occasions, and I’m sure Lauren was surrounded by a bunch of family and friends. Besides, I know she can be a grouch and a pain in the ass, but she can also be a hell of a lot of fun. Especially at parties.”
Ben shrugged. “I’m sure she is. It’s just that lately Lauren has seemed – I don’t know – let’s call it out of sorts.”
“Hmm.” Chris continued to study Lauren’s photo. “Now that you mention it, I kind of agree. I mean, the girl’s always a little moody, depends what side of the bed she got up on that day, you know? But you’re right – she’s seemed more irritable than normal these past few months. I’ll have to ask Karl what’s going on there. Though he’s got his own drama going on with Tamsyn right now. Again.”
“I didn’t realize they were having problems,” replied Ben. “They seemed to get along just fine at the holiday party.”
“Yeah, well, here’s the thing,” offered Chris. “Their relationship is like the biggest, twistiest roller coaster ride ever designed. Karl and Tam have been together for almost ten years, and from what he’s told us, it’s been like living in a soap opera. Tam’s hot-tempered, Karl’s feelings get hurt easily, so it doesn’t take much for trouble to brew in paradise. That’s one of the reasons they’ve never lived together, why Karl insists on keeping his own place in Tennessee. Otherwise, he’d need to keep a suitcase packed round the clock. The two of them drive Lauren nuts, especially since both of them wind up crying on her shoulder whenever they have a fight and she keeps getting stuck in the middle.”
Ben nodded. “I can see that. She and Tamsyn seemed pretty close at the holiday party, and it’s obvious that she and Karl always have each other’s backs.”
“Yeah, but even Karl doesn’t know all of Lauren’s deep, dark secrets. She’s selective about what she tells people about herself. If you were to look through her Facebook profile, for example, it gives nothing away. A lot of photos from our assignments over the years, ones of her family, but nothing really personal. Definitely no pictures or posts about boyfriends or stuff like that.” Chris grinned. “She demands to know everything about our lives, is always fussing over us, but she keeps her life outside of work a closely guarded secret.”
“Why do you think that is?” asked Ben curiously.
“Dunno. Karl and I have our theories, of course, though mine are admittedly pretty far fetched – like she’s really a superhero or a spy in disguise, crazy ideas like that. Karl just thinks she had her heart broken once, and that’s why she never talks about her love life. George just figures she’s bossy. And mean.”
“Lauren doesn’t have a truly mean bone in her body,” Ben stated firmly. “And let’s face it, shall we – George really asks for it at times.”
Chris guffawed. “At times? He reminds me of that irritating kid everyone had in their fourth grade class – the one who never acted up, kissed up to the teacher all the time, and got his ass kicked every single day after school. And you’re right – Lauren is really a sweetheart deep down. Underneath that tough chick exterior, she’s got a heart of gold. A heart that
I figure got broken pretty badly at one time. That’s why I think she puts on all of this false bravado, so that she can’t be hurt that way again.”
Ben felt the familiar stirrings of guilt at Chris’s all too accurate summation. What Chris didn’t know was that Ben had been the one responsible for breaking Lauren’s heart – and not just once, but two times now. And she had apparently been so intent on keeping up the tough girl image that she projected to the rest of the world, that she had never told those closest to her – sister, parents, friends, co-workers – about that long ago summer in Big Sur.
He wasn’t much of a social media devotee, mostly because he simply didn’t have time for such indulgences, and also because he had so few friends that he cared about keeping in touch with. It had been Levi who’d badgered him into creating a Facebook account a few years ago, and Ben kept his fingers crossed that the log-on and password he typed in now would still work. Luck was with him, and as soon as his profile page loaded he typed Lauren’s name into the Find Friends box.
Moments later he was clicking through the hundreds of photos she had posted there over the years. As Chris had mentioned, most of the pictures were from the assignments she’d been on with the crew – on all seven continents, through all four seasons, on terrain ranging from oceans and mountains to deserts and rainforests. There were photos of a bikini-clad Lauren in snorkel gear, paddling in a kayak, backpacking over majestic mountain passes, riding horses across the plains. In each photo, a smile lit up her face, clearly loving her job and her life, and Ben knew he couldn’t have lived with himself if he’d taken all this from her by staying in Big Sur that morning six years earlier.
He looked through some of her other online photo albums – ones from her high school and college days, of family occasions and holidays, and most recently of her sister’s wedding. It was that particular collection that he lingered over, wistfully wishing that he’d been Lauren’s escort that day, that she had been able to proudly introduce him to all of her family and friends, and that he’d been the one to take her in his arms and dance the night away together.
He grinned at the shot of Lauren catching the bride’s bouquet, the shock on her face clearly visible. Telling himself that he really wasn’t being a stalker or voyeur, Ben copied a dozen or so of his favorite photos to a flash drive, which he would then transfer over to his desktop computer back at the brownstone. He would add them to his already sizeable collection of Lauren photos – the ones that he had never quite been able to make himself delete.
***
Early August – Sausalito, California
“Well, it looks like you’ve been taking good care of my girl here, Manning, so I suppose I don’t have to kick your ass today.”
Nick Manning – all six feet, six inches and two hundred plus pounds of him – glared at the tawny haired woman who was more than a foot shorter and weighed over a hundred pounds less than he did. Not for the world would the former pro football player admit that Lauren’s wary approval made him feel a bit more at ease in her rather intimidating presence.
“Yeah, lucky me,” Nick drawled sarcastically. “And Angela is my girl.”
Lauren flicked her fingers against his temple, smirking when he flinched at the sharp pain. “Took you long enough to admit it, you jackass. And after all the hell you put her through for the past few years, I hope you have a game plan all set out for how you’re going to make it up to her.”
“Lauren,” admonished Angela gently, shaking her dark head. “Don’t, okay? I don’t want to think about the past right now, just enjoy the present. Especially since – well, you know.”
“I get it.” Lauren squeezed her best friend’s hand reassuringly. “And I’ll play nice so long as Nick does, too.”
Nick was saved from having to dream up a polite response by the buzzing of his cell phone. He grimaced as he saw the caller ID. “Sorry, Angel,” he told Angela regretfully, using the pet name that only he called her. “It’s Hayden Carmichael, probably calling from the French Riviera or wherever he’s sailing his yacht today. I’d better take this.”
“It’s okay,” Angela assured him, smiling as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head before walking back inside the house to take the call.
“I assume that’s the Hayden Carmichael he’s talking to?” inquired Lauren. “The filthy rich media mogul?”
Angela nodded. “One and the same. Nick went to Stanford with Hayden’s oldest son, and he’s been one of Nick’s best clients for years. And one of the very few people he drops most anything to take a call from.”
Lauren refilled her coffee mug from the thermal carafe resting in the middle of the table, before adding copious amounts of cream and sugar to it. She held the carafe up to Angela, who shook her head.
“Well,” mused Lauren, “I guess if I had a client who was considered one of the twenty wealthiest men in the world that I would drop whatever I was doing to talk to him, too.” She eyed the basket of assorted muffins, croissants, and pastries that she had brought over earlier this morning. “Do you have dibs on that cheese danish by any chance?”
Angela smiled. “No, it’s got your name on it. And before you ask, Nick never eats that stuff. In fact, he’ll probably make you take it all back with you when you leave.”
Lauren shook her head as she reached for the coveted pastry. “No can do, Angie. I fly back to the Big Apple tomorrow. On a red-eye, of course, with a connection in St. Louis. So that means you’ve got to eat all this yummy stuff by yourself.”
Angela made a little face at the lavish assortment of breakfast treats. “You know, I have gained quite a bit of weight back. Everyone doesn’t have to try and force feed me any longer.”
Lauren eyed her tall, slim friend critically. “Ten more pounds. Then you’ll do. Then you’ll look the way you did that first day you told me about Nick. Well, sort of told me.”
The day she referred to had happened almost five years ago, when Angela had been seeing Nick for a few months already – during their first go-round, anyway. Lauren had been astonished to see her friend looking so happy and healthy and so beautifully dressed. It had been obvious that a new man in her life had been responsible for all those changes, but Angela had been maddeningly closed-mouthed about any details. She had been with her mystery lover for almost a year when he had decided she’d grown too close, had fallen in love with him, and he had broken things off with an abruptness and a finality that had shattered Angela emotionally and physically.
For a long time afterwards, she had been a shell of her former self – skinny nearly to the point of emaciation; withdrawn, moody, lifeless, joyless. Lauren and Julia had despaired of ever getting her back to normal, of her ever being happy again.
And then Nick had re-entered her life a few months ago, leaving the failing stock brokerage firm where he and Angela had first met, and joining her current firm. And it had been his presence in her life again – no matter how infuriating it had been – that had made her feel truly alive once more. But she had resisted his attempts to lure her back into his life, refusing to let him manipulate and control her as he had in the past, and Nick had been too set in his domineering ways to meet her halfway. At least until the accident.
Angela had suffered what could have been a fatal head injury during a trail race she’d participated in less than two weeks ago. After an argument with Nick two nights prior to the race, coupled with the sudden onset of heat stroke, she had been distracted and dizzy when she’d stubbed her toe on a rock and fallen hard. Only the quick actions of the paramedics on site, and subsequently the doctors in the emergency room, had ensured that the subdural hematoma she’d suffered hadn’t been far more serious.
But as tragic as the accident could have been, it had also had two very positive outcomes. For one, it had helped mend some long damaged fences with her parents and older sisters; and, more importantly, it had made Nick realize just how much his Angel meant to him.
They were together now, though exactly what
that meant Lauren didn’t know for sure. But Angela was comfortably ensconced at Nick’s jaw-droppingly beautiful waterfront home in Sausalito, and it looked like she was planning to stay put for some time to come. Nick had even hired a nurse to look after her upon her release from the hospital, though Angela had insisted she was perfectly all right now. The nurse had been dismissed two days ago, and Angela was determined to return to work on Monday.
Angela rolled her eyes at Lauren’s last remark. “Between you and Nick – that’s exactly what he said, too. Ten more pounds. And the way he’s been stuffing food down my throat this past week I’m shocked that I haven’t already gained twenty.”
Lauren smiled. “Let the man fuss over you, hmm? He does have an awful lot to make up for, you know. Though it seems he’s already made a lot of progress towards that goal.”
“Nick’s been great,” Angela agreed wistfully. “Showering me with attention, making sure I don’t overdo. He’s either cooked dinner or brought takeout every night that I’ve been here. And, well, speaking of that – he wants me to move in here with him permanently.”
Lauren’s eyes widened in shock. “Are you shitting me? Jeez, when that dude makes up his mind about something he does not screw around, does he? I mean, when you were seeing him before you didn’t even know what city he lived in, and now he wants you to move in? Angie, you should have fallen and hit your head a long time ago if this is the way he’s reacting.”
“Gee, why didn’t I think of that?” Angela replied drolly. “But you’re right. Nick seems determined to make up for lost time. I’ve even met his mother – well, on the phone at least. Did you realize his mom is Sheena Sumner, the actress?”
For the second time in less than a minute, Lauren’s jaw hung open in surprise. “No ‘effin way! That woman gave birth to someone like Nick? I mean, no offense, but almost every role I’ve seen Sheena Sumner in she was playing the ditzy blonde in some comedy. And, well, Nick doesn’t really seem like he laughs much, you know?”
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