A Key, An Egg, An Unfortunate Remark

by Harry Connolly

  Yes, she knew the rules.

  * * *

  Back in the condo, Marley struggled to stay upright. Albert rushed to her again, but she said, “Get the key off the floor, Albert. I made Dominic drop it.”

  There it was. Albert unlocked his own cuffs, then Marley’s. She went to the door to peek down the hall while Albert moved to unlock Kevin’s cuffs.

  He fumbled it a little. The twang they had all felt, as though the whole universe had been strummed, wasn’t fading. If anything, it was growing stronger and deeper.

  When the cuffs came off, Albert pressed the key into Kevin’s hand and rushed to Marley, who was standing impatiently beside the French doors. He opened them and she stepped out. He followed, and so did Kevin and Stan, still fussing over the last pair of handcuffs.

  Marley moved to the end of the balcony, gripping the rail with white knuckles, and stared down the street toward Elliott Bay below. The sun had not yet risen, but the sky was bright enough for them to see.

  “What the hell is that?” Albert blurted out.

  A wake moved through the water at startling speed, as though an invisible ocean liner was crossing the bay. Then, the wake flattened, slowly losing momentum as though the unseen ship had stopped suddenly.

  “What’s making that?” Kevin asked. “I can’t see—“

  “It hasn’t surfaced yet,” Marley said in a flat tone.

  There was a series of underwater booms, like depth charges, and the water around Pier 70 began to churn. The entire pier suddenly sagged at the far end, then began to sink into the water.

  “Jesus,” Albert said. “And I thought Jaws was scary.”

  Then the concrete holding the pier to the sidewalk broke with the sound of a detonating bomb, and the whole thing began to slide into the deep waters of the bay, sinking out of sight.

  Marley’s voice was full of dread. “I think… I think we’re about to have a very rare experience.”

  As the last of the pier vanished beneath the waves, colored lights began to flash beneath the water. This was accompanied by strange clashing noises, as though huge circuit breakers were popping deep in the bay. The water roiled and bubbled…

  Then the head broke the surface.

  Kevin and Stan both screamed. Albert cursed, but his aunt was right: it didn’t make anything better.

  The dragon’s head was huge—as big as a house—and the same black color as an orca’s back. Its rough skin was grooved like wet hair freshly combed, but there were no scales. Its snout was short, more like a gorilla than a serpent, but still filled with long, needle-sharp teeth. There were no horns or wings in evidence.

  It turned toward the piers along the waterfront, opened its mouth, and roared.

  The sound was brutal and oppressive; it seemed to shake their bones in harmony with that strange universal vibration. Marley steadied herself against the railing so she wouldn’t collapse under the overwhelming pressure of it.

  Then the noise died away, leaving everyone trembling. Marley forced herself to stand tall, when all she really wanted was to curl up on the floor in terror. “Astonishing,” she said, her voice hoarse.

  The dragon began moving toward the piers, slowly rising out of the water. The beast was upright, its foreclaws curled in front of its chest. Along its back was a row of plates like a stegosaurus, but each plate was jagged like a spatter of black blood. It came closer and closer, higher out of the water with every step, and when it laid one huge hind claw on the grass of Myrtle Edwards Park, they could see it stood over a hundred and fifty feet tall.

  Joggers and bicyclists in the narrow park fled as water sloughed off the dragon’s body. On the roads nearby, shocked drivers lost control of their vehicles and crashed into each other. The dragon’s tail swung from side to side, smashing through the Victoria Clipper building.

  Albert realized that the art bench he and his aunt had walked past only the day before had been flattened beneath that giant clawed foot.

  “Oh my God,” Kevin said. “We’re all going to die.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  A Worm's-Eye View

  Stan and Kevin bolted toward the door, but Marley whispered “No!” and Albert caught their arms. “The gunmen are still there.”

  That gave both men pause.

  There was a sudden terrifying noise from the waterfront, like the sound of a raging forest fire. The dragon had unleashed a jet of flame against the seafood restaurant where Marley had thrown her stone into the air. The building buckled, then exploded, showering masonry, sheet metal and burning wood into the street.

  Drivers ducked out of their cars to avoid being trapped beneath the flaming debris. Horns blared at the traffic jam, and a few people jumped the curb to drive around the wreckage and abandoned vehicles. Many more fled on foot.

  Then the creature turned to the north; something had caught its attention. Marley and Albert leaned out along the balcony just in time to see another jet of fire blast all the way into—and through—the globe at the top of the P-I Building. It melted like slag onto the roof below.

  Goosebumps ran the length of Albert’s body. “We’re going to need a bigger rest home.”

  Kevin cried out and pointed at the lower railing of their balcony. A hand reached up from the other side of the balcony and clutched the rail. Before anyone could react, Neil pulled himself up and over the railing as though it was the easiest thing in the world.

  “Hello, Neil,” Marley said.

  The vampire swept his hair out of his eyes. He’d traded his Nehru jacket for a pullover paisley hemp shirt and black cotton pants. His feet were bare. “Hello, Ms. Jacobs. Big one this time, huh?”

  “Yes, indeed.”

  He turned and stooped down; Naima was holding onto his back. After she dropped to the balcony, she straightened her clothes with as much dignity as she could muster. “The sun is nearly over the horizon,” she said, glancing at the sky.

  “I know, dear. Inside, everyone!”

  There were screams from the street, and across the way they saw two people step from their condos onto the balcony to investigate. Marley would have thought there’d be more.

  “The others engaged the bulk of your problem as they tried to exit the parking garage,” Naima said. “Neil and I came up here to make sure we didn’t push them all the way up to you. But the sun—“

  “Yes, Naima, dear. Your concern for your charges is admirable, but you don’t have to keep reminding me.”

  Neil laid his hands on Marley and Naima’s shoulders. “I can hear them in the front room, talking on their radios. I’ll go take care of them…without breaking the rules.”

  “Wait a minute,” Stan said. “How is Jim Morrison here going to ‘take care of’ a room full of armed men?”

  “Hello there,” Kevin interjected.

  “What’s he going to do,” Stan insisted, “throw patchouli at them?”

  Neil laughed, revealing a pair of fangs, then he raced through the front door so quickly they could barely see him move.

  Kevin and Stan looked at each other. Stan shook his head. “I need to sit down.”

  There was a sudden burst of gunfire from the front room. “Well you can’t,” Marley said, taking his arm. “I want you to stick with Kevin. You’ll be having another sugar crash soon, won’t you?”

  “It’s already happening.”

  “Kevin is going to stick by you. The two of you don’t have any responsibilities here except to each other. Get away and survive, all right, dears?” They nodded. “Wonderful.” Marley glanced at the fires visible through the window; they were spreading. Worse, the dragon had reached the condo building beside the burning restaurant and begun to rake the exterior with its claws. The entire structure shuddered to its foundations.

  Marley took Naima’s elbow. They hurried down the hall, their light footsteps a counterpoint to the massive thundering tread of the dragon as it moved along the waterfront, destroying.

  Neil stood by the door, three gunmen
on the floor at his feet. A cart with computer equipment and a stack of pizza boxes lay on its side in the corner, and various guns, knives, and clips were scattered on the carpet. “Everything’s groovy,” Neil said, smiling sleepily. He glanced at Stan, then gestured to the dozen or so wounds on his torso. “See? Only bullets. They even had their own cuffs.”

  “Oh good, here are some more.” Marley handed him the four they had worn all night, leaving the key in her pocket. “Let’s get these fellows up and moving.”

  Albert whispered something to the gunmen about cooperation as he helped Neil haul them to their feet. There was another stupendous crash from outside. Another building was coming down.

  Marley thought it best to avoid the elevators, so they hurried to the stairs. Stan and Kevin lagged behind, as Marley hoped. Neil took point, and Albert was happy to let him. Naima held her phone to her ear. “In the parking garage,” she said.

  But the parking garage was empty. Naima’s van sat crooked in the entrance ramp, but the only other cars were a Mini Cooper and a broken-down van. There were no people in sight. Marley ran to the ramp and out onto the street, looking downhill at the destruction below.

  People were still screaming and running for their lives, but there were fewer of them. The dragon had moved south along the waterfront, tearing through the Art Institute and parking garages searching for its egg. A freight train braked, squealing, but there was no way to stop so much mass in the space it had. The engine slammed into the dragon’s clawed foot, jack-knifing rail cars full of coal and scrap metal all over Alaskan Way.

  And there, on the corner across the street from where Marley stood, was a middle-aged woman in her jogging clothes, holding up her phone to record the whole thing.

  Marley shook her head in admiration.

  Albert caught her elbow. “Aunt Marley, we need you inside.”

  “It’s incredible, isn’t it? Simply incredible.”

  “Yes, and scary as hell. How do we stop it?”

  That brought Marley back to herself. “Albert, you can’t keep asking me these obvious questions. We’re much too far along for that.”

  They went back down the ramp into the darkness of the parking garage. Kevin and Stan passed them and headed out into the street. “Good luck,” Marley called as they turned onto the sidewalk and hurried away from the dragon.

  Kenneth held a metal door partly open. “In here.”

  Marley and Albert went inside. It was a laundry room, with six washers, six dryers and no windows. All four vampires—Neil, Betty, Clive, and Spire—were there, all riddled with bullets, and all smiling. Beside them stood Kenneth and the scowling nurse from Marley’s rest home. Albert suddenly realized he’d never asked the woman’s name.

  On the floor in the corner were the ten mercenaries. With their masks removed, they looked like ordinary men. Evelyn had been pushed to the floor beside them, also cuffed. Off to the side a bit were Nora, Nelson, and Audrey.

  “Well,” Marley said brightly, raising her voice to be heard over the chaos outside, “how quickly the tables turn.”

  Audrey gaped at them. “I killed you.”

  “Oh my goodness, you did, didn’t you? I almost forgot.” She walked over to Audrey, plucked out a few locks of her hair, then tucked them into Naima’s pocket. “Albert’s clothes are torn, so you’ll have to hold onto these. Now! How many deaths do you think you’ll have caused today, Evelyn?”

  Evelyn was defiant. “Dozens? Hundreds? Thousands? I don’t care!”

  “Oh my sweet lord Jesus,” Nelson said, letting his forehead fall to the floor. “He really can see the future.”

  The dragon roared again. Everyone shut their eyes except for Marley and Albert. They looked over the faces around them… at the terror, ecstasy, and raw confusion in their expressions.

  “You’ll kill us if you leave us here,” one of the gunmen said. Albert recognized his voice. He was the captain, although he didn’t look any older or tougher than the others. “When that thing digs through the building to find her egg, we’ll be crushed.”

  “Where is the egg?”

  “In the back of that broken-down van out there.”

  “That’s fine,” Marley said. “You can go.”

  Kenneth couldn’t help himself. “What?”

  “Not now, Kenneth. Evelyn, you too. Nora, go. None of you should be here when the dragon attacks.”

  The mercenaries rolled to their feet. The captain stepped forward. “Our handcuffs?”

  “Don’t push it,” Marley said.

  He nodded and led the others through the door. Evelyn trailed behind them, her face a strange mix of delight and triumph. She ran through the door.

  Nora, Nelson, and Audrey still stood staring at Marley, Albert, and the vampires in shock. Marley turned her back on them and went into the parking garage. “Albert, bring our van down here and turn it around. We’re going to have to load the egg into it.”

  Kenneth stepped between them. “It’s no good. A bullet froze the CV joint. The wheels won’t turn.”

  “Oh, wonderful. Spire, Neil, I need you to drag the van down the ramp and out of the way.”

  Neil wrung his hands and Spire bit her black-painted lips. “There’s sunlight there,” she said. “Right there. I can see it.”

  “You won’t have to touch it,” Marley assured her. “I chose you because you’re the youngest and the bravest. We’re all depending on you, darlings.”

  “We’ll come with you,” Naima said. She and Kenneth accompanied them to the ramp.

  Marley led Albert, Betty, and Clive to the van. The wheels had been removed; it sat on its undercarriage. The hood stood open. Albert took one glance at the engine and said, “This will never do the job.”

  Marley waved at the back doors. The van was so close to the wall that there was barely room to open them, but Betty did.

  There was the egg. It was at least four feet across the middle and at least six from point to bottom, and it glowed in the darkness.

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  Another Little Drive

  “Oh!” Betty exclaimed, and backed away.

  “Move this away from the wall, please.” Marley said.

  Clive and Betty grabbed the van beneath the front bumper and dragged it away from the wall. At the same time, Neil and Susannah began dragging Naima’s van down the ramp. The sound of metal grinding against concrete was terrible, but there were louder, more horrible noises coming from outside.

  Sirens screamed as two police motorcycles passed the opening to the exit ramp. Sunlight reflected off the chrome, sending brief flashes of daylight into the garage. The four vampires immediately fell into a blind panic, screaming and running for the stairs so quickly they were little more than a blur.

  “Clive!” Naima shouted. “Betty! Neil!”

  “Go after them,” Marley ordered. Naima and Kenneth ran to the stairs. “Oh well, Albert. It looks like it’s just you and me now.”

  “We can help,” Nora said. She, Nelson, and Audrey stood just a few feet away, their hands cuffed behind their backs.

  “Hah!” Marley snapped at them. “I think you’ve helped enough. Albert, we need to transport this egg to the water and we need to do it quickly. The longer the dragon is on the land, the more thoughtless and enraged it will become. In that state the destruction might not stop for hours, and it’s likely to destroy its own egg accidentally. Since both large vehicles are useless, we’ll have to roll it up the ramp and down the street.”

  “Or you could use my truck,” Nora said.

  Albert turned to her. “What truck?”

  Nora nodded toward the far corner of the parking garage. There was a tarp hanging by the back wall. It was nearly the same color as the concrete around it, and neither Marley nor Albert had noticed it before. “We got pulled over by the cops after.…” She didn’t want to continue that sentence.

  “After you shot two innocent people,” Marley finished for her.

  Nora glanced at Audr
ey. It was the barest flicker, but Albert noticed it. “Yes. That’s right. He gave us a ticket for a busted taillight, and we realized we had to hide the truck until we got it fixed.”

  Marley took the key from her pocket and uncuffed Nora. “Bring it over here and park it opposite the van.” She then uncuffed Nelson and Audrey. “You two look strong. You’re going to help Albert load the egg into the truck.”

  Marley ran to the ramp and peeked out. For as far as she could see, everything on both sides of Elliott Avenue had been destroyed. The dragon had reached—and shattered—the elevated highway far to the south, only three blocks from Pike Place Market and thousands of tourists. The city beyond was in flames, but the dragon had apparently realized it was moving farther from its egg, not closer. It turned around and started lumbering northward toward her.

  “What is in this thing,” Nelson said, as his considerable muscles strained to roll the egg. “Lead?”

  Nora pulled the truck around the disabled van and backed it up. Marley ran toward her. “Leave it running!” she shouted, “and help them.”

  Marley caught the door as Nora jumped from the drivers seat and ran back toward the others. The egg really was incredibly heavy, and the four of them struggled to move it.

  “Damn! Aunt Marley!” Albert gasped. “Can’t you do some magic that would help us here? This is hard work!”

  “Hard work is what magic aspires to be,” she answered, her hand resting on the pickup’s open driver door. “Hard work is the strongest magic there is.”

  The four of them managed to roll it out of the bed of the van, but it seemed to want to roll to the side, off the pickup. It was almost as if it was deliberately fighting them.

  “Oh, Albert,” Marley said. “There just isn’t enough time. Darn it. Listen: the parties are important. Do you understand? You need connections and you need perspective, too. They remind you why you go to so much trouble—“

  “We’re losing it!” Nelson yelled.

  “It’s my fault!” Albert answered. “My hand...”