by Reana Malori
Noah could only imagine what she was saying. He loved her, but right now, he had no words for her. Not sure if he ever would again. Looking down at the clock, it was a few minutes after two o’clock. Heath’s voice caught his attention.
“Hey, sorry about that. Stephanie wants me to tell you she’s sorry.”
Noah ignored the apology. “I need to talk to Janae. She needs to explain to me why she kept this a secret from me all these years.”
“Shit, you know I hate getting in the middle of women’s shit and their feelings. Makes me uncomfortable as fuck. You know that, right?”
“What’s your point?” His patience was waning. He wanted to see his daughter’s face up close. Allow her to see him. He wondered if she’d recognize herself when she looked in his face. Would she know she was a part of him?
“She thought you were ashamed of her.”
“What?” Noah couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Where the fuck did she get that idea?”
“You just fucking left, Noah. No word. No nothing. You forbade us to say anything to her about you. You swore us to secrecy. Had us tell her we had no idea where you were or how to reach you. We used your job as a cover. It was the only thing I thought could work. Apparently, she didn’t buy one fucking word.”
“Damn,” he whispered. Noah knew he’d fucked up. He knew it the moment he’d walked away from her that morning. “I was never ashamed of her.”
“I know that. Then again, I’m not the one who had to go begging to my parents with a baby growing in my belly with no ring on my finger.”
“I didn’t know—” he began.
“Doesn’t matter. That’s what happened. I called you because you needed to know. If I’d known what was happening, I never would have condoned that shit. You’re my brother. What they did was foul no matter how they try to spin it. But here we are. So, now that you know, what are you going to do about it?”
They talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. Noah clenched his hands tight, deploying some of those relaxation methods he’d been taught. Blood rushed through his body at such a furious pace, he could hear the sound in his ears.
He had a daughter.
He had a daughter. With Janae.
He had a daughter. With Janae. The love of his life.
The woman he’d abandoned because he was afraid of what being with her would do to him. Make him weak? Or maybe he’d lose focus on a mission and be shot to hell and back. Then what would have happened? He would’ve been half the man he was today. Too many of his buddies had been left high and dry after coming home with missing limbs and shattered souls. He didn’t want to give her a chance to rip his heart out because she wasn’t tough enough to handle the bad along with the good.
Taking a few deep breaths, he prepared his mind for the greatest challenge he’d ever encountered.
Get out.
Walk up to her front door.
Let her know he was back.
Tell her he knew about Nicole.
Pray like hell she didn’t slam the door in his face.
Fighting with her in the past had been fun. Mainly because each fight usually ended with out of this world make-up sex. In the kitchen. In the shower. On the floor. Leaning over the dining table. His thick rod hardened at the thought of how her body felt when he sank inside. The memory of their bodies twisted together, writhing in passion as they expressed their feelings for each other in actions, if not words, never failed to make him pause.
If he were honest with himself, he missed her. Her voice. That sweet laugh she had. The deep sigh as she snuggled close to his body after he’d fucked her every which way he could. Leaving her behind had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. It felt like he’d ripped a piece of his heart out, leaving it on the dry desert floor to wither and die.
“Get your ass moving, Noah,” he lectured himself. Grabbing the door handle in his tight grip, he exited the truck. Closing the door, he looked around the neighborhood. A few people were walking along the street, some biking, and others sitting on their front porch. It wasn’t a bad location at all. The homes looked well-kept, with front yards full of fresh green grass covered with children’s toys. Just the kind of place a small family would want to live.
The thought pulled him up short. Had Janae moved on with another man? Gotten married? Maybe she was seeing someone.
Did it matter? Not one bit.
Would it stop him from seeing his daughter? Hell no.
On the other hand, if she hadn’t moved on with another man, what did that mean for the two of them? What if just the thought of being with someone else turned her stomach? No other woman had compared to her. He’d tried to be with other women, to push the memory of their time together out of his mind. The first time he tried, his dick wasn’t having any of it. Had sat there limp no matter what the pretty blonde had done to him. Hell, he’d even gone to the bathroom and given his dick a stern talking to, eventually pleading with the lump of flesh to cooperate.
That night, and many others, he slept alone. Whenever his dick got in the mood to rebel against being inside anyone other than Janae, Noah would be left with blue balls as he dreamed about the woman he’d left behind.
Laughing at the embarrassing memories, he continued walking across the street. He should have known he’d never get over Janae. Those other women were just fill-ins who left him unsatisfied and with one less condom.
Janae was in his blood. Her scent still floated around in his brain. The remembered taste of the sweet nectar of her pussy made his mouth water. Even now, just being near her, knowing they would be face-to-face, his cock was thickening in his jeans as he thought of the two of them in bed.
“Traitor,” he mumbled.
Noah walked to the house. Committed to seeing this through but scared shitless of a little person no taller than his knees, he wiped his hands along his pants. This was one of those moments he needed to talk to his father. How the fuck was he going to be a good dad to Nicole when he couldn’t even be a good man to her mother? His job had him traveling all over the globe, doing shit for his country that should make him ashamed. Only it didn’t anymore. He was proud of who he was and what he did for the US Navy and would never apologize for it.
Didn’t that say more about him than anything else? If he could take a man’s life without blinking an eye, or feeling one bit of remorse, was there something wrong with him? He didn’t want his child to be someone like him. Someone who only cared for those closest around him. A man who routinely shut off his emotions to let the darkness seep into his soul.
He didn’t want that for Nicole. He wanted her to grow up to be like her mother. Sweet. Caring. Loving. A woman any man could love. Too bad he’d seen her first. Any man who thought he was safe from Noah ever returning was shit out of luck.
So, no, it didn’t matter if there was someone else in her life. If she wasn’t married, he’d remove all barriers standing in the way of him being with her again.
Arriving at the front door, he heard squeals of laughter. Knocking on the door, he waited expectantly as he heard the locks disengage. A few more minutes passed after it seemed the locks were undone. He knew what he would find on the other side.
Janae must have checked the peephole. Looked to see who was outside before allowing them access to her home and her child. That she’d paused, not opening the barrier standing between them, told him what he needed to know.
“Open up, Janae,” his loud voice called out.
“No,” he heard her respond.
He almost smiled but didn’t. God, he loved this woman. After all these years, his feelings for her hadn’t diminished one bit. Just hearing her voice did something to him. Now that he was back in town, there would be nothing to stop them again. He’d make sure of it.
“Let me in, Janae.” He tried to make his voice sound soft and non-threatening. “I don’t want to scare her the first time we meet, but I’ll kick this motherfucker
down if you don’t let me in.” There went that battle. His nerves where shot and his temper was short. He knew his threat was irrational. Kicking her front door down would be the easiest and fastest way to have the cops haul his ass off to jail, ensuring his chances of being part of his daughter’s life would disappear.
Silence on the other side was the only thing he heard. Leaning his head against the thick wood, he gave a silent prayer to the man upstairs. He couldn’t walk away. He wouldn’t. No moment in his life was as important as this one right now.
“Don’t leave me out here begging. She’s my daughter, Janae,” he pleaded. Noah was a card-carrying bastard of the worst kind. He didn’t deny it. And anyone who knew him could attest to it. But now that he’d found out about Nicole, everything would have to change. He’d be a better man if only to make his daughter proud of him. Please, he begged silently as he waited for Janae to decide. He just needed Janae to give him a chance. A final lock clicked, and Janae’s face came into view as the door swung open. Once his eyes landed on her, he exhaled.
“Hi, Noah,” she greeted him with a soft tone.
“Damn. You’re still so fucking beautiful.” His blurted words were reminiscent of what he’d said to her the first day they’d met.
Only, this time, she didn’t smile in response.
“Come in.” Stepping aside, she gave him room to enter the home. As he stood in her living room, they could only stare at each other. With everything he knew, he knew his face held looks of anger, confusion, and surprisingly, need. As he watched her stand in front of him, he licked his lips in remembrance of their time together.
Hips a tad wider. Breasts bigger. Thighs still thick and curvy as fuck. Her straight hair was pulled up in a ponytail on top of her head. After four years, she looked almost exactly as he remembered. Even better actually. There was a maturity about her that beckoned him. He wanted to grab her up, rip her clothes off, and shove his dick into the best fucking pussy in the world.
“Baby,” he murmured as he took a step closer.
Her head shook from side-to-side, refusing him. He was about to grab her, lift her in his arms, when a voice called out.
“Mommy? What are you doing? Who is that man?”
CHAPTER 5
Janae
Eyes bugging out her head, Janae stared at Noah as he stepped over the threshold to her home. When she’d first seen him standing outside, her heart had dropped to her stomach. That he’d showed up on her doorstep wasn’t surprising. She’d known this moment would happen eventually. Either he’d come searching for her on his own, or Stephanie would break her silence.
From the look on his face, she was positive Stephanie had squealed like a pig. She loved that woman like a sister, but she was a damn snitch, she thought with a huff. No, that wasn’t fair to Stephanie. Janae knew asking Stephanie to keep a secret this huge was pushing it. In all honesty, she was surprised the woman held out for so long. Every time they spoke or went out for a bite to eat, her friend was constantly asking her if she could let Heath know. And Janae always answered the same. “I’d rather you didn’t. Just give me more time.”
Unfair as hell, but she hadn’t cared. Not until this exact moment. Closing the door, she sighed in defeat.
Noah still looked as good as she remembered. His broad shoulders. Dark brown hair. His beard was short and trimmed up nicely, which she’d always loved. Then again, when he had his full-beard going strong, the sensation on her inner thighs when he went down on her was soul-quivering good. Taking in his larger than life form as she stood in her too-small living room, she bit her bottom lip nervously.
When her daughter interrupted the moment, she broke her gaze from him, walking over to the little girl. “Hey, Punkin’. This is mommy’s friend from a long time ago. How about you draw your grandpa a picture? Okay?”
“Okay, Mommy.” Nicole gave Noah another long stare. It was the look of someone trying to figure out something that was just out of reach. With how smart her little girl was, Janae wasn’t surprised at anything she did. To be so young, Nicole was performing tasks usually completed by kids aged six or seven.
Getting her daughter settled, she turned back to Noah. His gaze was planted firmly on the four-year-old girl with the long curly pigtails. Nicole tilted her head to the side as she concentrated on the man in front of her. Interestingly, Noah did the same thing. That’s when Janae saw it.
Of course, she’d always known Nicole was Noah’s daughter. Plus, she looked like him, the only difference being her darker skin and her feminine features. Janae looked on in awe as she watched the two of them in the same room for the first time. Tears welled in her eyes as she noticed one of her daughter’s behaviors reflected in the man she’d loved more than her own life. No, her love for him hadn’t ended. She’d pushed it back to the recesses of her brain, and heart, because of his betrayal. Looking at him now, Janae knew her love for him was just as strong as it had ever been.
The beautiful little girl sitting at a kid-size table with crayons and markers, was the only person she focused on now. All the love she’d had in her heart for Noah was given to their daughter. For Janae, from the moment she was born, Nicole was the only person who mattered. Needing to take the conversation away from little person ears, which seemed to always hear the things parents didn’t want them to, she moved toward the kitchen.
Noah lifted one eyebrow. “Going somewhere?”
“Moving our conversation into the kitchen. Maybe this isn’t the best thing for her to overhear.”
After a long pause, he turned back to Nicole, as if he couldn’t take his eyes from her. His legs began moving before he focused back on Janae. “Fine. Lead the way.”
Once they arrived in the kitchen, they stood mere feet away from each other. For so long, Janae had thought she was ready for this conversation. She wasn’t. Hell, she’d planned every word she’d say to him if their paths crossed again. In that moment, her mind blanked.
Hands shaking, her nerves almost took over. Yes, she was in the wrong. Then again, so was he. Giving birth to their daughter, and not telling him about it, wasn’t something she did without thinking through the consequences.
Noah just stood there. Not saying a word. His eyes flashed with anger as he stared at her. His lips were thinned, pressed together, and one eyebrow raised in question. His legs were spread wide, his arms crossed over his large chest. Those emerald green eyes of his glared at her with a hard glint.
She could see the confusion practically swirling around in his heated gaze. Truth be known, she didn’t want to have this discussion with him right now. The longer they stood there, the more heated she became. She was the one who should be pissed at the situation. Not him. “Why are you here, Noah?” Might as well go on the offensive. After all, he was the one who’d left her.
“No, sweetheart. You don’t get to do that. I think I’m the one who needs some information. Don’t you think? When was she born?”
Crossing her own arms over her chest, she turned away from him. Screw him. He was the one who left her without a word. She’d been on her own to face the crucible while he’d been off gallivanting, probably screwing women all over the globe. Damn. She’d been such a fool. To be honest, she still was. “Does it matter when she was born? Why do you care anyway?”
“Don’t play with me. Not right now. Do you know how it felt for me? To find out you’d had my child? My d-d-daughter.”
She heard the stutter in his words. The raw emotion almost made her weaken and give in. Janae was three seconds away from begging his forgiveness. The hurt in his tone generated this need within her to plead with him to forgive her. To tell him she never wanted her or Nicole to be a burden. Back then, she thought she was doing the right thing. Being noble and all that shit. The only thing she’d done was made herself an outcast, someone who lived a half-life because she’d loved the wrong person.
She remembered walking up to her parents’ house with a belly full of
baby. A child put there by a man who couldn’t be bothered to tell her himself that he no longer wanted her. Scoffing at him, she glared at his large form. “Are you for real right now? Your daughter, huh? Weren’t you the one who promised you’d return? You’re the guy who told me what we had was special, right? You know, the man who claimed what we had was real? Yet, when you disappeared without a word, leaving me no way to reach you, what was I supposed to do?”
“You could have found me,” he almost yelled.
“Fuck you, Noah,” she hissed. “You don’t get to walk in my house, where I live, and try to tell me what I should have done.”
“Don’t ever speak to me that way again,” he growled. Walking towards her, his face was a mask of rage and anger. “I had every right to know about my child!”
“Not when you left here like a bat outta hell. My daughter and I have been doing just fine, thank you very much. Where were you when I was walking around here with your child growing in my belly, embarrassment on my face, with humiliation running through my veins? Off playing the hero, when all you are is another man who wanted to get his dick wet. When the going got tough, your sorry ass left town and never looked back.”
A smirk came over his face, “I wasn’t the only one getting wet, sweetheart. If I recall, you enjoyed what we did as much I did. Don’t blame me because you got a surprise at the end.”
Anger coursed through her veins. Lifting her right hand, she swung towards his face. Her intent was clear. Remove the smirk from his face by any means necessary.
Noah caught her hand in his, holding it inches from his face. The smirk remained, but his eyes blazed fury. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
Snatching her arm away from him, she bared her teeth. A female lion ready to pounce. “Don’t you ever touch me again.” Stepping away from him, she cursed as tears began to well in her eyes. “Why are you here? You left me, Noah. Not once did you look back to see what you’d left behind. You didn’t want me back then. Why show up now?”
