Unbridled

by Fox Brison

  “Fat? What? Of course not. You’re perfect.” I winced at how breathy the compliment came out and winced again when Jennifer took yet another step back.

  “Are you hitting on me? Oh my God, are you serious right now? First you call me fat and now you’re trying it on. What’s wrong with you? Jack is right outside.”

  “I didn’t call you fat.” At least I didn’t think I had. “And I’m not hitting on you. I simply think this has caught everyone by surprise, including you.”

  “You’re right, Dani, I’ll give you that Jack isn’t the type I thought I’d end up with, and even though it’s probably wrong in so many ways, it’s right in so many more.” She shook her head slowly and sighed. I recognised the signs of regret and disbelief, I’d seen them in the mirror a minute ago. “Look, this is crazy. I don’t know why I’m explaining myself to you. If you can’t accept that, Dani, I’m sorry. But if you can then I’m willing to forget everything that’s happened.” She reached out and touched my arm offering me comfort. I snatched it back like I’d been scorched. She shook her head and sighed. “This doesn’t have to ruin our relationship going forward. I get it, Dani, I do. It must have been an awful shock seeing Jack with me and then finding out I’m his wife. My sister couldn’t believe it either.” My head was spinning, I was sweating but Jennifer was as cool as a cucumber. I was beginning to think she might have been a sociopath or at the very least have multiple personalities.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck! Jack what have you done?

  “Listen, Jennifer,” I said coldly, “if you don’t tell Jack what happened, I will. Is that clear?” On my way out I virtually knocked an extremely confused looking Jack across the restaurant. “I’m not feeling good, Jack. Come to my hotel later. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  “Dani, wait.” Jack called after me but I had to get out of there before I passed out. I needed time to figure out how I was going to tell my cousin, my best friend in this world, my business partner, that not only did I sleep with his wife but it was the best goddam sex I’d ever had! If I was being taught a lesson, man it was a doozy. Not only was I never going to have another one night stand in my life, I was never going to have sex again!

  Chapter 10

  Haley

  I was in love.

  San Francisco was precisely how I’d pictured it. The cold misty morning, the sound of gulls squawking on the sea front, buildings sloping on hills, gravity pulling them towards the bay at the bottom… there was an air of familiarity about the city. Perhaps it was the tang of salt, or perhaps the wind bringing with it a fresh hope every sunrise, or maybe it was the feeling that everyone was welcome, no matter their ethnicity, race, religion or sexuality. Staring at the Golden Gate Bridge, one of the most iconic images to have graced all forms of media, I allowed myself an admission that I wasn’t broken, not yet. No, I was bashed and a little worn, bruised in several places, but I was no longer at breaking point and I had my sister, this wonderful city and a stranger named Dani to thank for it.

  I felt the pressure which had been a constant in my chest ease, fractionally at first, and then in a rush. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, letting the sun warm the parts of me guilt had been holding tight. And then I laughed. I shook my head and started laughing.

  Who would have thought my life ended and then began anew with one night stands thousands of miles apart?

  ***

  “Hey, Jen,” I said, happily.

  “Where the hell are you?” she shouted down the phone.

  “Right now I’m standing at Fort Point in the shadow of Golden Gate Bridge. It’s stunning. Did you know it was built during the civil war-”

  “Where? What? Why? Aren’t you coming to lunch?”

  “Yes, don’t worry I’ll be there and I’ll be my utterly charming self for Jack and his cousin.” I heard Jen’s voice hitch and a sniff. “Jen, what’s wrong?”

  “Haley, what time do you make it?”

  I checked my watch. “It’s coming up to twelve thirty why?

  “Because it’s one thirty and you’ve set the time on your watch wrong. I really need you to be here.”

  “Crap, Jen, I’m sorry.” I hurried out of the red brick building and towards the car park. Worst case I’d call Uber. “I’ll jump in a cab and be there in less than ten minutes. Are you okay?” She sounded more upset than my tardiness warranted. “What’s happened?”

  “Jack’s cousin happened. We didn’t exactly hit it off. Oh, Hales, it was awful. She was so rude and I didn’t know what to do! I mean they’re best friends and business partners. How the hell is this going to work if we can’t get on?” If her words weren’t conveying the stress of the situation, the strain in her voice was.

  “She? Jack’s cousin is a girl.” I tried to focus on that fact rather than on the one which was making my blood boil. Rude? I’ll give the bitch rude for upsetting my sister.

  “Yes.”

  Jen sounded frustrated and disappointed. “And she behaved this way for no reason?” Keep calm, Hales, keep calm. I was caught betwixt and between. I knew my sister; if I said anything against Jack’s cousin she would start to defend her, if only to make herself feel better, if only to reassure herself that this marriage wasn’t a blunder of epic proportions.

  Plus she liked to be contrary. Some days if I said the sky was blue she would argue with me about the exact shade.

  “Well, I guess she was shocked about the whole wedding thing. I mean you weren’t exactly cock-a-hoop about it either. And it’s going to affect her life much more than it is yours.”

  I rolled my eyes. So predictable, here we go with the excuses. “There’s a big difference, Jen. I was a pure bitch to you, you’re my sister and that’s allowed, but I would never act that way with Jack. If she has a problem it’s him she needs to have it out with, not you. Wait till I meet this bloody ill bred cousin.” Hmm, perhaps hanging out at a civil war fort wasn’t the best preparation for lunch because I seemed to have assimilated the role of a feisty fighter. I hailed a taxi. “Elmo’s restaurant please, North Beach.” Jen was still talking, but I tuned her out. I needed to decompress before I went, what was the expression she used after I told her about Dawn… oh yes… before I went bat shit crazy on Jack’s cousin.

  “No, Haley, please just leave it, it’ll only make things worse. Jack’s already really upset as it is. You were right, getting married to a man I’d only known for seventy two hours was an incredibly idiotic thing to do.”

  “Don’t, Jen, don’t let one person spoil what you and Jack have. Yesterday I was wrong. Of course it’s possible to fall in love at first sight, Mum and Dad did. Okay, they waited a while longer to walk down the aisle but Mum’s always said she knew Dad was the one the minute they met.” I wasn’t simply paying lip service. People felt immediate connections all the time, my parents were only one example.

  “That’s true. Thanks, Hales, I feel better. I’ll see you in a minute then?”

  “Yes, see you soon and don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll all work itself out in the wash.”

  The cab pulled up outside Elmo’s restaurant seven minutes later. I was feeling really nervous, especially after Jen’s phone call. Part of me wanted to call Jack out for his cousin’s behaviour, but that wouldn’t have been fair of me.

  If there was one thing I’d learned these past few months it’s that you can’t be held responsible for another’s actions.

  Chapter 11

  Dani

  I walked slowly through the streets of Chinatown.

  The red lanterns hanging over the street, the neon signs in Chinese script, the temple like appearance of simple roofs… it was like being transported to another world, which is exactly where I wanted to be. I wanted to be in a universe where last night didn’t happen, or did happen but Jennifer didn’t turn out to be Jack’s wife.

  Now that would’ve been perfect.

  My thoughts were all I had to keep me company, my sole means to advise me on my next course o
f action. If it was anything else I’d have spoken to Jack about it – he was my long established sounding board. But in this instance telling my cousin that not only did I sleep with his wife, but that I’d developed feelings for her as well, was a big no, no.

  In my book, anyway.

  Let’s face it in any sane person’s book, unless we were characters in The Young and the Restless. I had shied away from the prospect of any sort of commitment for years. Not since... I frowned when Francesca popped, unwanted, into my head. Frankie had transferred from Chicago to my high school during our junior year. I was instantly smitten with the cool new city girl and we bonded over our love of Buffy, specifically Willow and Tara; we were kindred spirits and were each other’s support through the harassment, the discrimination, the name calling… basically what we would call low grade homophobia nowadays, but back in 1998 it wasn’t considered such. It was a different world twenty years ago. There’s been real progress made since then, in no small part thanks to people like Frankie.

  I remember when our high school banned us from attending our prom together but Frankie didn’t take it lying down – no siree. She organised an alternative prom where everyone was welcome whoever they were with. Jack even came up from San Francisco with his high school sweetheart, and although only a few other couples from out of town came, we had a great night. Francesca, eyes like chocolate and hair like honey, never looked more beautiful.

  It was after high school when it started to go south.

  We were both accepted into Berkley and that made Frankie so happy because she wanted to change the world. In our senior year she became very political, and even though I was pleased that she’d found her passion, she couldn’t understand why I didn’t share it. Yes, I wanted the same rights as everyone else and I was happy to go on marches and put up flyers, but my passion lay elsewhere.

  My heart belonged to the ranch.

  A ranch that was struggling to make ends meet. So just before graduation I made a decision that I don’t think Frankie ever really forgave me for. I chose to give up my place at Berkley to try and save the ranch I grew up on near Cody. Frankie wasn’t the only one who went nuts, my Mom did too. She was worried, more than disappointed, thinking that I’d end up on the ranch alone and she argued that completing my MBA would help the business. I countered that with the slightly important detail that by the time I completed my degree, there might not be a business left to help. Besides that facet of the ranch, although significant, wasn’t my passion.

  Being out in the sunshine with the herd was my passion.

  Breeding the next Kentucky Derby champion was my passion.

  Riding Stormy around three barrels in less time than it took to sneeze, with the cheers of a raucous crowd ringing in my ears as we triumphantly crossed the finish line was my passion.

  Sitting in a classroom learning about strategic differentiation was nowhere near my passion.

  I wanted to be free, free like a Pryor Mountain mustang.

  Francesca and I tried the whole long distance thing but it was never going to work. It was only a matter of time before she met someone else and if I’m truthful, I selfishly needed the comfort of women when she wasn’t there. I was still a kid and a relationship novice; I never cheated on her, but I’ll be honest and say it was a close run thing. The warmth of a woman in my bed outweighed the warmth of my woman who was miles away, and the end was a blessing for both of us.

  Frankie and I called it quits in her sophomore year, although that’s not where our story ended. We tried again when we were both in our late twenties. Frankie called, quite out of the blue. We’d lost touch three years previously, when it had gotten harder and harder to connect. We were both busy with our lives and she had a new partner who wasn’t keen on our friendship. However, their relationship ended acrimoniously and Frankie was left with a mountain of debt and a realisation that she’d never really stopped loving me. She came back to town and we lived together in a little cabin I’d built myself near the creek on my Grandpa’s land.

  It was rustic, it was basic and we loved it. At least I thought Frankie loved it.

  That year was the happiest of my life until Frankie decided during the worst winter for over a decade that the rancher’s life wasn’t for her. And that was the end of that. She left and broke my heart, after which I determined I wasn’t cut out for relationships. I wasn’t willing to compromise my dream or to invest in another relationship only to hear a few months down the line that my way of life wasn’t enough for them.

  That I wasn’t enough for them.

  Once I made that decision life became easier. I was too busy having fun to notice a lack of companionship. On nights spent with the herd, with only the stars and moon keeping watch with us, Jack, ever the romantic cowboy, mooted that I might miss curling up on cold nights with the same woman, that I might miss the comfort of familiarity - he’d obviously never heard the saying familiarity breeds contempt - and the thing is, up until this point in my life, it really hadn’t bothered me.

  What made Jennifer Jones different?

  I don’t even know her, I thought dispiritedly. I mean, yes the sex was great, but then so was the cuddling after. She felt right in my arms, a perfect fit. And she was funny; I haven’t laughed so much in forever. When I woke up and saw her lying there, I wasn’t my usual apathetic self and didn’t want to get rid of her asap, no, I was thinking how can I persuade her to see me again. At least her being with Jack explains the quick exit!

  ***

  “Dani, what was that all about at the restaurant?” Jack was waiting for me outside my room when I returned to the hotel several hours later.

  “Nothing,” I answered cantankerously. And that attitude wasn’t going to make him suspicious?

  “C’mon, Dani, stop the bull crap. You ran out of Elmo’s like the devil was on your back,” he said following me inside. I walked over to the mini bar and held up two small bottles of bourbon. He nodded and I threw him one.

  “Can you blame me?”

  “Okay, so I know it was a shock,” he said as he unscrewed the cap. He held it up as if saying cheers and took a sip.

  You don’t know the half of it, I thought. “Yeah you could say that. What the hell, Jack? You go to Vegas and get married?”

  “I had to Dani, I couldn’t let her get away. She’s everything.” He was beaming. “She’s gentle and kind.”

  Gentle and kind? “I’m sure she is. For a weekend of fun. But what do you really know about this woman apart from her bra size?”

  “Hey, you’re out of line! I know everything I need to know. I love her.”

  I sniffed derisively. I bet you don’t know she has autostraddle on her favourite’s bar, I thought this time angrily. “That’s great. That’s fine. But what about me?”

  “What about you?” It was obvious he hadn’t thought about the implications his impetuous behaviour might have for me or our business. Jesus, he really did think with his pecker.

  “The ranch, Jack. You married a total stranger in Vegas for Christ’s sake. What happens when the alcohol wears off? You divorce and suddenly we have to find the money to pay off your ex-wife!”

  “Again, Dani,” he shook his head in disbelief, “you’re out of order. It must be lonely in that cynical head of yours. Everyone else is happy for us. My Mom loves Jen and she’s even talking about moving back to Cody to be near her grandkids!”

  And the hits keep on coming. Could I stand living on the same ranch as Jennifer, waiting for her to break Jack’s heart? Or even worse, could I stand living on the same ranch as Jennifer, reliving every moment of our time together, and hating myself for wanting her?

  Hating myself for being jealous of Jack.

  “And what is she going to do on the ranch? Pick wildflowers?” I opened another bottle. Tequila. The hotel bill was going to be astronomical by the time I left for the airport.

  “She’s a business whizz. I figured she can take care of the books, do the office work.”

/>   “You mean all the stuff I normally do?” I asked, this time twice as cantankerous as before.

  “You mean all the stuff you bitch about doing,” he shot back. “Christ on a stick, can’t you give her a chance, Dani?”

  “A chance? I give it a month before she breaks your heart.”

  “You know what,” he clenched his jaw, “you know what, we can’t all be closed off and heartless. Jen is my soul mate. I knew it after five minutes with her. Get used to the idea, she’s going nowhere.”

  I slumped onto the bed, next to my half packed case. I understood what he meant about knowing after five minutes.

  Because I’d felt exactly the same way the night before.

  I was beginning to think that Jennifer may have come from Salem circa 1692. Time for damage limitation. “You’re right, Jack, I’m being unreasonable and I acted way out of line at Elmo’s. Look, why don’t you give me Jen’s address and I’ll go and apologise to her on my way to the airport.” I couldn’t stand his hound dog eyes any longer and I couldn’t break his heart for no good reason. I had to talk to Jennifer again. I had to find out where we all stood before I went to that extreme.

  “Airport?”

  “Yeah, I’m gonna head home tonight. There’s no point sticking around. There’s a shit load to do on the ranch. Rainbow Attractions might call with a booking anytime and we’re nowhere near ready.”

  “Wait, you’d do that?” He perked right up. Seriously, he was more puppy than human.

  “Sure.” And in the process of downing the first tequila I was already eyeing another, but the buzz was already starting to take hold. Alcohol on a no sleep/no eat diet was not ideal when it came to having good sense.

  “Dani, that’d be great. I know Jen would really appreciate it. What time shall we leave?”

  “What?”

  “When’s your flight? I’ll wait until you’re finished packing and-”

  “Jack, I think it’s best if I go solo. I don’t want Jennifer thinking I’m there under duress, which she might if you’re standing behind me scowling menacingly.”