Jessie (Big Sky Dreams 3)

by Lori Wick

“Yes. He’s been away for a long time.”

  101”Where has he been?”

  “In Texas. He left before you were born, Clancy, and didn’t come back until last week.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well,” Jessie started but then faltered. What would Seth want her to say? This question had no more formed than Jessie felt a spark of anger. He hadn’t had to stay away all these years. He could answer that question himself!

  “I’ll tell you what,” Jessie went on, successfully covering her feelings. “He’ll be here this afternoon to meet you, and you can ask him yourself”

  “He’s coming here today?” Clancy asked.

  “Yes.”

  The girls looked at each other with such excitement that Jessie knew she’d done the right thing. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for this, but she knew it was right.

  “When?” Clancy asked.

  “After lunch.”

  That the girls were excited was only too obvious. Jessie expected more questions and even some trepidation, but they both looked eager, and Clancy even asked how long it was until lunch. Jessie answered her absently but wouldn’t have answered at all if she’d known she was going to be asked at least ten more times.

  “This is a fine roast, Becky,” Jeanette complimented her cook, and everyone occupying her dining room table agreed.

  “Courter had just butchered a steer, and I told him I needed a big piece,” Becky said in her indomitable way. “How is that gravy?”

  Compliments came from all around for the gravy as well, and Becky finally joined the diners at the table, taking a seat next to Heather.

  Jeanette had gathered the family for Sunday dinner. Brad and Meg, who were expecting their third child in December, took one side of the

  102table with Savanna and Cathryn nearby. Trace and Cassidy were also in attendance, with Joey on his father’s knee. Five-month-old Netty had been hungry during the service but fallen asleep before her mother could feed her, giving Cassidy time to enjoy the meal.

  “Who was the man sitting with Bri this morning?” Cassidy asked Trace.

  “That was Seth Redding, Jessie’s husband,” he told her and in the next few minutes explained what he knew of Jessie’s marriage.

  “I don’t think he’s been around since before Clancy was born,” Brad added, “and when he was here, he certainly wasn’t in church.”

  “Do you think Jessie knows he’s here?” Jeanette asked the table at large.

  “I think she must,” Trace responded. “It looked to me as if he’s staying with Rylan and Bri, and Ry wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jessie.”

  Everyone knew how true this was, and after a few more moments of speculation, the conversation changed to the sermon. Rylan was teaching on the subject of humility through the summer, and nearly everyone at the table had something to share. They were all learning much about their own need to be humble, and that topic didn’t vary for the next hour.

  “Are you ready for this?” Rylan asked just a few minutes before Seth was ready to leave.

  “I think so. I’m working to keep my expectations low.”

  “I think you’re wise not to expect the girls to embrace a stranger, but be careful, Seth, that you don’t sell God short. Your expectations of Him should be as high as they can get.”

  “In what way?”

  “He’s already brought you an amazing distance, and I don’t mean from Texas. You were just saying last night that you’d finished memorizing more than half of Job 23. You would never have even considered doing such a thing two years ago. God will bless you today, Seth. He

  103may not give your daughters back to you or ever restore your marriage, but He will bless you for going there and making this effort.”

  “Thanks, Rylan,” Seth returned sincerely. He would not have thought of it in those terms. He was so busy working not to expect too much from Jessie and the girls that he’d missed all the blessings he had already been given.

  Seth thought about this all the way to the back of the store, but he was still feeling more than a little uncertain about meeting the girls when he arrived. He knocked and didn’t have long to wait, but suddenly the realization of what he was going to do made his heart feel like lead in his chest.

  “Are you all right?” Jessie had to ask the minute she saw Seth. She’d never seen him so pale.

  “I think so.”

  Jessie stared up at him, surprise filling her. He was scared. She would not have believed it possible, but Seth Redding was terrified.

  “They’re very excited to meet you,” Jessie said, shutting the door behind him and finding her arm gripped in his hand.

  “Really, Jessie? Are they really?”

  “Yes,” she said softly, reading the desperation in his eyes. “It’s all they’ve talked about since I told them.”

  Seth suddenly realized he was touching her and dropped his hand. He pulled at his collar and tried to compose himself, his eyes focused across the storeroom for a moment as he prayed for calm. When he glanced back at Jessie, his look was unreadable, but she knew his calmness was an act. Emotions were surging through him, and he was barely able to function. Jessie led the way upstairs, thinking that all her thoughts had been for her daughters. When it came to this first meeting, she had not given Seth a moment’s thought.

  Seth was certain his heart was going to pound out of his chest. He followed Jessie, feeling as though he were dreaming. He’d thought about this so much, and now that it was here, he could barely take it in.

  .“You wereinthe store,” Clancy said the moment Seth stepped into

  104

  “Yes, I was,” Seth managed with just a small clearing of his throat. The girls were standing not six feet inside the door, both looking adorable and expectant, their faces clean and their hair combed and neat.

  “Girls,” Jessie stepped in, finding this more emotional than she imagined. “This is your father. His name is Seth Redding.”

  “Seth Redding?” Hannah asked.

  “That’s right,” Jessie answered, seeing that she was going to have to take control. “Come in, Seth, and sit down. Come, Hannah and Clancy. Come and sit down so we can all talk.”

  Once seated, the sisters stared at Seth and said nothing. This was the last thing either Seth or Jessie expected, but Seth finally composed himself and found his voice.

  “You girls are beautiful, like your mother.”

  “We look like her,” Clancy said, having heard this many times over the years.

  “Yes, you do,” Seth agreed, smiling for the first time. “I’m glad you have her blonde hair and blue eyes.”

  “Where do you live?” Hannah asked.

  “I just moved back to Token Creek, and I don’t have a place of my own yet. I’m staying with Rylan and Bri right now.”

  “They have a baby!” Hannah said, coming uncorked. As though Seth had never met Danny Jarvik, he heard all about him-how big he was, when he learned to walk, and the last word Hannah had heard him say.

  “Why don’t you live here with us?” Clancy asked when Hannah paused for breath.

  Seth had not been expecting this but was still able to answer. “I think it’s good that I stay at Rylan and Bri’s.”

  “The dads are supposed to live with the moms,” Clancy said when he was done, her brow furrowed in thought.

  “You’re right. They usually do but not always.”

  “When will we see you?”

  “Well, since Jeb broke his ankle, I’ll be coming in to help your mom with the store.”

  105Seth was not looking at Jessie, or he would have seen her raise her brows. She had not known this was the plan and would wait until the girls talked themselves out to mention this fact.

  The girls were suddenly on their feet, running to the bedroom to find things they wanted to show Seth. Before she had planned on it, Jessie found herself alone with Seth, his eyes on her.

  “They’re so beautiful, Jessie, and smart and fun. You’ve done an a
mazing job.”

  “Thank you.” Jessie smiled a little, her eyes going to the bedroom the girls had disappeared into. “They keep me young.”

  “You are young.”

  Jessie shook her head without looking at him, and Seth wondered what she meant. He knew the store was ofttimes backbreaking work and marveled anew at how capable she was and always had been.

  “This is my doll’ Hannah announced, placing the doll in Seth’s hands. She had a porcelain head and black hair, and she wore a yellow and black plaid dress and black, high-buttoned shoes.

  “She’s very nice. Does she have a name?”

  “Dorothy”

  “She’s looks like a Dorothy. You named her well.”

  Hannah was looking pleased about this when Clancy came running with a hatbox.

  “Oh, Clancy.” Hannah rolled her eyes. “You didn’t have to bringeverything.”

  “Yes, I did, Hannah,” Clancy started to frown and quarrel, but Jessie intervened.

  “No arguing, girls.”

  Clancy managed one more fierce glare at her sister before putting the box next to Seth on the sofa.

  “Do you have a hat?” Seth asked her, but Clancy didn’t answer. She was too busy unloading hertreasures.The first thing from the box was a comb for her hair, much too grown up and too large for her fine locks. Next came a small mirror, rather ornate and not very useful. Following these items came a deck of playing cards, a fan, a boy’s hat,

  106JESSIE113

  cufflinks, a trinket box, and a calling card case. Almost everything that came from the box was placed in Seth’s hands or lap with Clancy saying, “And look at this.”

  The new father did look at everything, but when Clancy was distracted by the latch on the trinket box, he looked to Jessie with raised brows.

  “Clancyneededthings a few years ago,” Jessie remembered fondly, “including the hatbox.”

  “Things she spotted in the store, I take?”

  “Exactly. I eventually got her slowed down to one a week, but it was still a long summer.”

  Seth’s smile became huge as he turned back to Clancy, and not until that moment did he realize that Hannah was watching him in silence. Seth looked at her, so much regret filling him that he couldn’t find a word to say.

  “How do you know our names?” Hannah suddenly asked.

  “I was here when you were born, Hannah,” Seth said, just managing the words.

  “How about Clancy?”

  “I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t here when Clancy was born, but your mother told me you gave her her nickname.”

  Hannah nodded as a matter of course. “Her real name if Maryann, but I like Clancy.”

  “My teacher sometimes calls me Maryann,” Clancy filled in, “if I’m talking.”

  “And she’salwaystalking,” Hannah said, her longsuffering tone evident.

  Not sure if he should, Seth laughed. Hannah looked pleased by this and smiled.

  “Do you want to see our room?” Clancy asked. “We sleep with Mama, but we keep our things in our room.”

  “Certainly,” Seth agreed, having to calm his heart all over again when Clancy took his hand. He hadn’t touched either of them and found that the riot of emotions going on inside of him was making it hard to breathe.

  107Jessie did not follow. She went to the kitchen and put some coffee on. It was a warm day, but she needed something to do with her hands, and coffee was the only thing she could think of.

  She hadn’t known what to expect from Seth or her daughters but realized she was surprised at how well they were doing. At the same time, her heart told her it couldn’t last. Seth had left before, and no matter how much he loved the girls and got to know them, Jessie was sure it was only a matter of time before he left again. She wanted to protect them from that but had no idea how.

  “You’re not working on supper, are you?” Seth, who was suddenly next to her, asked quietly.

  “Just coffee. Why?”

  “I thought I’d take you and the girls to the hotel for supper. If you want,” he remembered to add.

  “Have you said something to the girls?” Jessie asked just as they came from the bedroom.

  “I wouldn’t do that without talking to you.”

  “You don’t have to do this, Seth.”

  “I want to,” he said and meant it.

  “I mean,” she whispered, “you can take the girls on your own.”

  Seth blinked. He could hear the girls and knew they were almost beside them, but still he asked, keeping his voice low, “Why would I leave you out?”

  This time it was Jessie’s turn to blink. Whyhadshe thought that? “Are we going to the creek?” Hannah asked, having misinterpreted her parents’ conversation.

  “I don’t know,” Jessie said to cover her other thoughts. “Did you want to?”

  The agreement on the girls’ parts left no doubt in her mind, and so Jessie explained to Seth.

  “During the summer it’s not unusual for us to go to the creek to cool off. Sometimes we take a picnic.”

  “We get wet,” Clancy said in her matterof-fact way.

  “Sounds fun. Why don’t I provide the food?” Seth suggested.

  108”Do you cook?” Hannah asked.

  “With my wallet,” Seth said, revealing the first sign of the Seth Jessie first met and married. Not able to help herself, she laughed, and the girls even without knowing why joined her.

  Within 30 minutes they were off. It was early yet so there was no need for food, but eventually Seth left his family by the creek and headed to the hotel. By the time he rejoined them, he had amassed a feast that was not wasted. They had played hard in the sun and water and were ready to eat the beef, rolls, applesauce, and berry pie he had coaxed out of the hotel kitchen.

  After the meal, when the girls ran to rinse their hands and faces at the creek bank, Seth was able to say what was on his mind. “Thanks for letting me into their lives, Jessie.”

  “They need you,” Jessie said, not looking at Seth but feeling his eyes on her. She was thankful that the girls were coming right back. She was not in the mood to explain herself.

  109

  Nine

  SETH HAD TOLD RYLANand Bri about his long and wonderful afternoon, his doubts, regrets, and encouragement that the girls seemed to accept him. Bri had taken it all in, pleased that he and Jessie were off to a good start, but she had questions about her friend, questions that could not wait another day. For that reason, Bri stood at the store’s back door that very evening, hoping with the windows open to the back of the building that Jessie would hear her knock.

  “Well, Bri,” Jessie said with obvious surprise but still pleasure, “how are you?”

  “That’s what I’m here to ask you.”

  The friends’ eyes met for a moment before Jessie said, “Come on up.”

  “Are the girls asleep?” Bri asked as she trailed Jessie up the stairs. “They’re just down. We’ll have to keep our voices low for a while, or they’ll be out of bed.”

  The women got comfortable on the sofa, turning a little to see each other as the light began to fade from the windows.

  “How do you feel it went this afternoon?” Bri wasted no time asking the moment the women were settled.

  “I think it went well,” Jessie started and then stopped. She stared at

  110Bri, who Waited patiently, and then went on. “My mind hasn’t taken in that he’s really here. Last Friday morning I woke up, and my life was just normal. By Friday at bedtime, things had been turned upside down. Seth came yesterday and ended up working in the store, and I still can’t feel the floor beneath me. I think the world has tipped, and I seem to be the only one to notice.”

  “Maybe the girls have noticed a little too?”

  Jessie shook her head in wonder. “They’ve taken to him so fast, Bri. Almost without question, they’ve accepted that he’s their father. They had talked about him!” Jessie suddenly blurted. “I had no idea that they’d di
scussed their father, but they told me this morning that they had. They assumed he was dead and never asked me about it so I wouldn’t be sad.”

  Bri was as surprised as Jessie had been. Hannah and Clancy never seemed to hold back about anything. That they’d discussed something as significant as a presumed-dead father and not spoken of it was rather amazing. And Jessie! The calm, steady Jessie Wheeler was as rattled as Bri had ever seen her.

  “What now, Jessie?” Bri, thinking fast, asked. “How will you handle all of this?”

  “I guess we’ll just go on. The girls want him around, and he’s not difficult to be with.” Jessie stopped and shook her head. “He looks so much the same-just a little older-but he’s not the same man, Bri. I keep watching for the real Seth to show up, but he hasn’t yet.”

  “Do you want the old Seth back?” Bri asked carefully, not wanting to speak of Seth’s salvation just yet. “I mean, he left you without a word for eight years. You don’t wantthatman back, do you?”

  “No,but can a person change that much? It’s a little hard to believe.”

  “A person can change, Jessie,” Sabrina said with a small smile. “One of these days, when life isn’t quite so busy for you, I’ll tell you just how much.”

  Jessie’s look became a mix of skepticism and appreciation. Clearly she thought Bri had never done a shameful thing in her life, but at the same time she was grateful for her words.

  111”Why don’t you and the girls come to supper this week,” Bri finally offered.

  “What night?”

  “Just pick one.”

  “How about Tuesday?”

  “Tuesday it is. Seth will be there, but you haven’t sounded too uncomfortable with that.”

  “No, it’s fine. What time?”

  “Come when you close the store. We’ll eat when everyone gets there.”

  “Thanks, Bri.”

  “You’re welcome. And don’t let it slip to the girls about supper.” Jessie had to laugh. When her daughters knew they were going to see Danny, their excitement knew no bounds.

  The women talked a bit longer, mostly about how busy the store was and something Bri had read in a recent newspaper article. The conversation did not turn spiritual, but Bri was used to that. Still she prayed and had hope for her friend.