Jessie (Big Sky Dreams 3)

by Lori Wick

  “Camille is coming in the afternoon, so don’t overdo.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll have much choice. I feel as weak as a child,” Seth said in all sincerity. At the moment he didn’t know where the strength would come from to walk to the bedroom, let alone down the stairs come morning.

  “I think you should live here.”

  Seth’s mind had been drifting-he’d barely been aware of Jessie’s presence-but this certainly brought his eyes to her.

  “Where did that come from?” Seth asked quietly, hoping she couldn’t see the harsh beating of his heart.

  “The girls want you to. They want it very much.”

  “I admire the way you take care of our daughters and put them first, Jessie, but you have to think of yourself too.”

  “I think I’ll be all right,” she said, her mouth even turning up in one corner. “If I need an evening to myself, I’ll take a walk or suggest one to you.”

  Seth waited until her eyes came back to him and then said, “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about the bed?” Seth asked, details coming to mind. “I can’t just take the girls’ bed from them.”

  “They sleep with me and have for years. They keep their things in that room but never sleep there.”

  165Seth hadn’t known this. He wasn’t sure it was such a great idea, but that would be the last thing he could say.

  “And I still have questions, Seth,” Jessie went on. “I still want to know things.”

  “I haven’t forgotten.”

  Jessie nodded. She knew what he meant. She didn’t want the girls to know that they were talking about things from the past, but short of setting up a time to meet, there was no opportunity during the day to talk. And if she set up a meeting, the girls would know. They missed little that their mother did. Jessie had resigned herself to waiting until they were back in school all day, but it looked as though now she and Seth would be able to talk in the evenings.

  For a moment she thought about him being there every night and didn’t know if she liked that idea. Knowing that the girls would be thrilled was a huge help. She might need to remind herself of that in the days to come.

  “He’s going to live with us,” Hannah whispered the moment her mother shut the door on Saturday night. “Mama said.”

  “Seth is?” Clancy whispered back, wondering why no one told her.

  “What about Bri and Danny?”

  “I don’t know. They have to stay with Pastor Rylan, but Seth is going to live here.”

  The bedroom was silent for a moment, but Clancy wasn’t done. “Will they kiss like Bri and Pastor Rylan?” she whispered back.

  “I don’t think so. I don’t think Mama likes kissing.”

  “She kisses us,” Clancy reasoned.

  “That’s different. Mothers are supposed to kiss.”

  Clancy had to think on this one, but it was getting hard. Saturdays were big days. The store was always full, and sometimes she had to help.

  166A jaw-popping yawn escaped her just as she thought of another question for Hannah, but she drifted off before she could voice it.

  Seth was nearly out of energy, but he had one thing to take care of before he turned in on Saturday night. Rylan had delivered his satchel to him, and Seth dug into the bottom of it until he’d found something wrapped in the sleeve of an old shirt.

  Moving carefully, not wanting to break it after all this time, Seth unwrapped it and studied it in the lamplight. It was just as he remembered. Moving before he could change his mind, he went back to the living room. Jessie was still on the sofa and looked up in surprise when he returned.

  “This is for you,” Seth said, handing Jessie the item.

  Jessie reached without thought and took an exquisite perfume bottle from his hand. Her mouth opened a little. She stared at it and then at him.

  “Where did you?” she began and then stopped.

  “I was in a small town in Texas and spotted it.”

  “When?”

  “A while ago-maybe five years.”

  Jessie looked at the bottle again, studying the lovely design. The top was crystal and screwed snugly into place. The glass bottle was surrounded by ornate gold filigree and filled in here and there with precious stones. The sight of it nearly took her breath away.

  As she looked at it, the memories came pouring back. They had been married just a few weeks and talking in the bedroom. Jessie had gotten up to close the window and accidentally bumped into the shelf. Her grandmother’s perfume bottle had tumbled to the floor and broken. Seth had told her they would replace it, but neither one of them had ever seen another one like it. Until now.

  “Thank you,” Jessie whispered.

  “You’re welcome. I’m sorry it took so long.”

  167Seth didn’t linger but went back to the bedroom. Jessie watched him, feeling things she did not understand. He wasn’t supposed to be thinking of her that long ago. It wasn’t what she’d imagined at all. It made staying upset with him and keeping her distance very hard. And on this night it made sleep hard. Jessie sat alone in the living room for much longer than she had planned.

  “How do you think they’re doing?” Bri asked Rylan as they settled in for the evening, Danny getting sleepy in her lap.

  “I was wondering the same thing. Seth said that before he left Jessie to go to Texas, all they did was fight. Seth is not the same person, but if I had to hazard a guess, I would say that unless the things they fought over have changed, they’re going to fight again.”

  “And in front of the girls this tune.”

  Rylan sat quietly for a moment, thinking about what he’d just said. Had he underestimated God and His saving ability by assuming that Seth would still fight with Jessie?

  “I didn’t mean that quite the way it came out,” he decided to add. “I don’t automatically think that Seth and Jessie will fight, but in the past they argued, and those topics are going to come up again and cause some type of tension.”

  “That makes sense. I mean, eight years is a long time. Jessie would have done some growing up over that time, but upsetting situations typically don’t go away on their own.”

  “What will you pray for?” Rylan asked.

  “That Seth will be such an example that Jessie will want Christ.” “Maybe the girls will start down the path first.”

  “Maybe,” Bri said with a smile, thinking that God could do the most amazing things in the heart of a child or someone with childlike faith.

  168”Where are you going?” Hannah asked Seth when he came from the bedroom with his jacket on Sunday morning. He had just helped Jessie with the dishes, his one area of expertise in a house, and then noticed the time was getting late.

  “To church,” Seth said, his Bible in hand.

  “Can I come?”

  This question, so artlessly put, stopped Seth in his tracks. He hadn’t expected the girlstobe the least bit interested and didn’t know what to do with this. He stared down at Hannah and then looked to Jessie, who was sitting at the kitchen table with coffee and the newspaper.

  “It’s up to you,” she said, having overheard.

  Seth studied his wife a moment and could see she was sincere. As he watched she went back to her paper and coffee.

  “Yes, you can,” Seth said. “Are you ready to leave right now?”

  “Let me brush your hair, Hannah,” Jessie got in before the little girl could answer.

  Hannah ran for the brush and stood still while her mother worked. Not until she was done did Jessie notice Hannah’s dress was not a new one. “Will that dress be all right?”

  “It’s fine,” Seth said, not having noticed one way or the other, his mind still trying to take in what was happening.

  “Off you go,” Jessie said, going back to the paper as soon as they disappeared out the door. Not two minutes passed before Clancy came from the bedroom and learned she’d been left out. It was some time before Jessie was able to get back to her
paper.

  “I’m glad you came with me, Hannah.” Seth had finally found words about halfway to the church.

  “Me too. Will we sing?” Hannah said, all but skipping along and even going so far as to take his hand.

  “We will sing. You might not know all the songs, so just do your best.”

  169”Will you read your Bible?”

  “Yes. Pastor Rylan will teach a lesson today that’s he’s learned from the Bible.”

  Hannah didn’t answer or reply to this, and that gave Seth a moment alone with his thoughts. Oh,God,his heart prayed.You have done this. You have given her interest and curiosity. Her questions might lead to You, Lord. Thank You for this wonderful little girl, this child of mine I don’t deserve. Thank You that she wanted to come. Help me with her. Help me to have answers to her questions.

  “Oh, there’s Heidi!” Hannah cut into these petitions. “I forgot I would see her.”

  “Who is Heidi?”

  “Heidi Vick. We sometimes go to her house.”

  “What do you do?” Seth asked, making the connection to Chas Vick, whom he’d met his first week back.

  “We play with her dog. His name is Buster. We don’t have a dog.”

  Seth was saved from replying because they were at the building. With Hannah’s hand still tucked into his, the two went inside and sat down.

  Heather had done it. She had looked at Nate and waited for him to look her way. When he did, she smiled. Now the service was over, and he was headed her way. Heather thought her heart might pound out of her chest.

  Nate moved across the church, hoping to just strike up a conversation with Heather, but one look at her face told him this would not work. She looked strained and a little pale as she watched him approach. Thinking fast, he pulled his Bible out as soon as he got to her.

  “Heather, may I ask you a question?”

  “Yes,” she said, realizing it came out in a whisper. She cleared her throat and said, “Certainly.”

  170”Did you get that last reference Rylan gave? I think it was in Romans.”

  “I did get it,” Heather said, opening her Bible as well to check her notes. “It was chapter 13, verses 1 and 2.”

  “Thank you,” Nate said, using a pencil to make note of it. Heather watched him write, close his Bible, and look up at her. “Busy week coming up?” he asked.

  “I don’t think so. We’re not overrun with orders right now.” “Does the time ever drag?”

  “If it gets too quiet, one of us leaves, and there’s always plenty for one to do.”

  This said, a short silence stretched between them, but Heather was starting to relax.

  “How about you, Nate? Busy week?”

  “Not that I know of, but you never can tell.”

  “Are you ever afraid?” Heather asked, swiftly becoming herself and in the process completely forgetting that this man was interested in her.

  “At times, yes. Some fear is good. It keeps me on my guard.” “How about when you were shot? Were you afraid then?”

  “Things happened too fast for me to feel anything, but when Rylan

  said I wasn’t ready to die, I got scared.”

  “That would be the good kind,” Heather said gently.

  “Because I wasn’t ready, it was the best kind. Had I died, I would have been lost to God forever.”

  “I’m glad He had other ideas,” Heather said with feeling. She hated the thought of anyone dying outside of Christ.

  “So am I.”

  A silence did fall between them then, Heather suddenly remembering what she knew and becoming tongue-tied.

  “Maybe I’ll see you around this week,” Nate said, thinking another rescue was in order.

  “Maybe,” Heather agreed and then bid Nate goodbye.

  Nate didn’t move beyond turning to watch her walk away to join

  171Jeanette and Becky. He was still standing in the same place when Rylan reached him.

  “Progress?” the pastor asked, having witnessed the exchange. Nate smiled just a little before saying, “Maybe.”

  “Why did you stand when we singed?” Hannah asked, having been told during the service that her questions would have to wait.

  “Sang,” Seth corrected automatically. “It’s just what we sometimes do.”

  “I like to sing sitting down,” Hannah said.

  “Why is that?”

  “My legs get tired.”

  “Well, you did very well. You sat still and stayed quiet when I asked you. So thank you for that.”

  Hannah managed to look pleased and shy all at the same time. The two finished the walk home in companionable silence, only to gain the apartment and be met by a fiercely frowning Clancy.

  “What’s the matter?” Seth asked Jessie when his younger daughter glared at both of them from her place at the kitchen table and then deliberately turned her back on the room.

  “She didn’t realize Hannah was going with you.”

  “Has she been pouting this whole time?”

  “Urn hm,” Jessie said, sounding unperturbed.

  For a moment Seth didn’t know what to do, and then Rylan’s words from that very morning came back to him.Do not make the mistake of fearing man over God. Husbands, are you more afraid of your wife and leading in your home than you are of God? Fathers, are you more afraid of doing the hard work as a parent because your child might not like the word no than you are of God?

  Seth took only a moment to decide. Thinking that Jessie might well toss him out on his ear, he went directly to Clancy and sat down in the chair next to her.

  172”What’s going on, Clancy?” Seth spoke to her profile, noticing that her arms were crossed tightly over her chest,.

  “You and Hannah left me!”

  “We didn’t sneak out, Clancy. We didn’t try to leave you. You were in the bedroom. Had you been out here, you would have known what was going on and been given a chance to go with us.”

  She turned her frown on him briefly again and then looked away. “Look at me, Clancy,” Seth ordered, his tone firm.

  Clancy obeyed, her face growing uncertain.

  “The rest of us do not have to watch you pout like a baby, so if you’re going to act like this, you can go sit in your room, and you can stay in there until you’re ready to be kind.”

  Clancy made the mistake of looking toward her mother.

  “This is between the two of us, Clancy,” Seth said, not letting her get

  away with it. “Now I’ve explained that we didn’t mean to leave you. If

  you want to come with me next week, that’s fine, but you’re not going

  to subject the rest of us to this pouting for one more moment.” This said, Seth stood to his feet,

  “What’s it going to be? Are you heading into the bedroom, or are you done acting like this?”

  “I’m done.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Seth said calmly, hoping his voice didn’t show his surprise. He expected a huge fight. He turned to the living room and had to force himself not to look at Jessie. If she was angry with him over this, he wasn’t sure what he would do.

  “Did you sing, Hannah?” Seth heard Clancy ask.

  “We did. I had to sit still, but it was better and shorter than school.”

  “Was Heidi there?”

  “She was, but I didn’t get to talk to her. But I saw Danny! I sat by them.”

  “Did you get to hold him?”

  “No, he had to stay quiet on Bri’s lap.”

  Seth watched the girls’ interchange and then chanced a look at

  173Jessie. Her eyes were on the girls as well, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He took it as a good sign that she was not glaring at him. He could smell dinner cooking and assumed they would eat when it was done. In the meantime Seth reached for the newspaper and tried to relax.

  174

  “STOVE,“SETH PROMPTED HANNAHwhen she hesitated, his eyes on the book as she read to him and Clancy.

&n
bsp; “Stove,” Hannah repeated, “where the mother boiled the stew.”

  “Is there a picture for that one?” Clancy asked, just as she’d done every few minutes for the whole story, leaning from her father’s lap to see the book in Hannah’s.

  “Not yet.”

  “Are you getting tired of reading, Hannah?” Seth asked, having heard the scratch in her voice.

  “A little.”

  “Why don’t we stop and do some moretomorrow?”

  “Don’t you have to work?”

  “Not in the evening. Can you read to us then?”

  Hannah nodded and shut the book. She would never have admitted it, but she was sleepy. When she thought about how long her teacher could read to the class, she was amazed. She had only read a few pages and felt worn out.

  “When is Mama coming back?” Clancy asked, the book having distracted her for only about half an hour.

  “I don’t know.”

  175”I want her to come now.”

  “Why?” Seth asked. Clancy blinked at him. He waited, but she didn’t answer. “You don’t know why you want her?”

  “I just want to see her,” she said, sounding as young as she was.

  Seth nodded and held her a little closer. He didn’t see them weary very often, and it was fun to have Clancy willing to sit still and be held. Hannah didn’t move either. She was close to his side, the book closed, staring at nothing. At times she even leaned her head against his arm.

  Whenever Seth found himself with a few moments of time to himself, he prayed. He did so now, Jessie on his mind. He knew she needed to get out for a time and was glad she felt free to go. He thought he might be part of the reason she needed to get away, and his prayers turned to their marriage.

  The thought of God repairing his marriage to the point that they would be in love again did not come to mind just then. His only concern was Jessie’s salvation.

  Jessie could not remember the last time she had walked along the creek bank by herself. A small part of her heart missed the girls’ chatter, and another part felt free as a bird. It was a warm day, hot even, and she decided to sit down and put her feet in the water. She wandered to a quiet spot where she would probably be left alone and slipped her shoes and stockings off without ceremony.