Iris Avenue

by Pamela Grandstaff

  “Those aren’t real words,” Hannah said. “Use them in a sentence.”

  “We need to re-examine our core competencies to ensure that the end product is value-added, results-driven, and comparable in synergy with the bottom line of our targeted performance indicators.”

  “What in the world does that mean?”

  “Make more money or we’ll replace you.”

  “That sounds like a soul-sucking job.”

  “It is. How’s your job?”

  “I helped someone kill four dogs today.”

  “I’m so sorry. You win. My job is never, even on the worst day, on par with that.”

  “Thank you. How’s your love life?”

  Sean gave Hannah a wary look.

  “There isn’t one right now.”

  “A handsome single man like yourself? What’s wrong with those Pitt chicks?”

  “Um, actually it may have more to do with me being gay.”

  Sean looked as if he was bracing himself for rejection and judgment.

  Hannah did look shocked.

  “Jiminy Christmas. Does anybody else know?” she asked him. “I mean, here.”

  “Maggie and Patrick know. I thought Maggie probably told you.”

  “No, that little scamp never said a word.”

  “I haven’t told Mom and Dad yet, but I plan to.”

  “It’ll be fine,” Hannah said. “It’s much more accepted now than it was.”

  “Sure, Hannah,” Sean said as he gave her a dubious look.

  “Well, what do you want me to say, Sean? It will shock the hell out of them, they’ll be pissed off about it for awhile, and then they’ll either get over it or they won’t.”

  “You’re right. I know.”

  “But it doesn’t matter to me,” Hannah said. “I’m a skilled matchmaker and I’ll just have to use my core competencies to find you a value-added boyfriend. What kind of performance indicators are you looking for?”

  “No thanks,” Sean said. “I’ll figure it out myself.”

  “Well, since you told me a big secret I’ll tell you one. I am great with child.”

  “Hannah, that’s wonderful!”

  “Nobody else knows about it though, not even Maggie, so don’t tell.”

  “Sam must be thrilled.”

  “He doesn’t know. He’s been gone for a few weeks, on business.”

  “I bet he’ll be excited when he finds out.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Some ladies arrived with more food, so Hannah rose to greet them.

  By six o’clock Maggie was awake with a headache. Scott’s back was stiff from sitting so long in an uncomfortable chair.

  “Hi,” she said to Scott. “When did you get here?”

  “A little while ago,” Scott said.

  “Sorry I was asleep,” she said. “Being nice to so many nosy people is very tiring. My teeth hurt from grinding and my face hurts from smiling. It sounds like the piano bar in the front room has finally closed. Where is everybody?”

  “Your mother is upstairs in her room; she’s had a sedative. Your father is asleep in the front room. Patrick took Doc home. Your uncles went back to work.”

  “Heaven forbid we would close a business when somebody dies,” she said.

  “I’m sure your uncles were fond of your Grandpa Tim, but he wasn’t their father-in-law.”

  “Did Mom close the bakery?”

  “No, Mandy was there and now she’s over at the Thorn.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be at Ava’s?”

  “No, that’s done with. The FBI agents are keeping an eye on her.”

  “Hmph,” Maggie said. “Did Ava come over?”

  “She called to ask if she should come, and your brother told her not to.”

  “Figures. Who told you?”

  “Patrick called and I came right over.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. How are you feeling?”

  “Numb, with an aching head. I had some whiskey earlier, which is never a good idea.”

  “I’ll get you some aspirin and a big glass of water.”

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s the least I could do. You’ve nursed me through a few headaches.”

  “How’s your head been?”

  “Fine. The front room smells like a barbecue smoker, though, so I may leave by the back door.”

  “Don’t go. I mean, unless you need to.”

  Scott smiled at her.

  “I’ll stay,” he said. “I’ve got nothing better to do.”

  After Scott went to the kitchen Maggie leaned back and rubbed her temples.

  Ed came by to say how sorry he was, and that he had to get home for Tommy. Maggie thanked him for coming. Sean came out and sat with her.

  “Thanks for coming home so fast,” Maggie said.

  “Thanks for offering to let me stay with you. This house is going to be like a drunken wake for several more days to come.”

  “I forgot I’m supposed to be staying with Hannah. Where is she?”

  “She’s staying at her parents’ house tonight,” Sean said. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Remember when Grandma Rose died?”

  “And the drunken sons of the sainted Mother Rose drowned their sorrows for forty days and nights.”

  “She and Mom were like oil and water.”

  “More like hydrogen and whatever else you need to make a bomb.”

  Scott came back with her aspirin and water.

  “Anything else I can do for you?” Scott asked Maggie.

  “No,” Maggie said. “I probably should go do my daughterly duties and put away all the casseroles and pies that are bound to be stacked to the ceiling in there. I’m sorry, that sounds ungrateful, and I’m not. One of the nice things about this town is that there will be many good-hearted, religious women available to form a buffer between me and my mother for the next few days.”

  “Hannah and I took care of the food. Let me take you home,” Sean said. “I need to check my e-mail and voice mail and clear my calendar.”

  “Any word on when the funeral will be.”

  “Sunday,” Sean said. “Right after church.”

  “Which means a buffet lunch for two hundred at the Community Center afterward,” Maggie said.

  “Probably.”

  “Oh, take me home, Sean. I get tired just thinking about it.”

  Scott and Sean helped her up and she wobbled a bit, but swore she was fine.

  “Thanks again for coming, Scott,” she said. “It was very kind of you.”

  “No problem,” Scott said, and brushed her forehead with the briefest kiss before he left.

  Sean drove her home and helped her up the back steps to her apartment.

  “Excuse the mess,” she said. “I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for days.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Sean said as he picked up the phone handset in the kitchen. “Hey, Maggie, the light’s on. You have a message.”

  “Oh, that’s right,” Maggie said. “I had two yesterday and only listened to the first one. It was Mom yelling at me to get my butt down to the bakery.”

  Maggie took the receiver out of Sean’s hand and dialed her voice mail service. When prompted, she pushed the button that corresponded to “listen to your first message.”

  “Maggie,” it began. It was Gabe.

  Maggie slammed the phone down and Sean was startled.

  “What?” he said. “Was it Brian?”

  “No,” Maggie said. She was trembling and had gone two shades paler than usual.

  “What was that?”

  Maggie shook her head.

  “Did somebody threaten you?” he asked.

  “It was Gabe,” she said. “Sean, I don’t want this.”

  Maggie started crying and Sean took her hand and led her to a chair by the kitchen table. He sat silently with her while she cried. Then he took a dish towel and made a co
ld, wet compress out of it, and put it on her eyes.

  “Listen,” Sean said. “This may not relate to your situation in any way, but it’s the only comparison I can make to what you’re feeling right now. Brad Eldridge was the love of my life. I’ve been in love since then, of course, and I’ve had my heart broken a few times. But no one has taken his place. No one could. I loved him with every fiber of my being. That sounds corny but I don’t know how to explain it any other way. I loved him regardless of anything he did to hurt or betray me. What I want to tell you is this: if Brad was alive and called me right now, I’d get in my car or get on a plane and go to wherever he is. I’d go to him and be with him and help him if I could. Does that make sense to you?”

  Maggie nodded and fresh tears fell down her cheeks.

  “I keep telling myself he wasn’t who he pretended to be, that it was all a big lie,” Maggie said. “How could the love I feel be real when he wasn’t who I thought he was?”

  “You can love someone and not know all there is to know about him. He could even love you and lie to you. Nothing is black and white in this world. No one is all good or all bad.”

  “How did Brad break your heart? I mean, other than dying.”

  “He slept with Phyllis and told me he liked it. He wasn’t like me; I knew I was gay before I knew what being gay meant. He was still trying to figure out what his preference was. For awhile that summer before he died, it was both.”

  “That must have been terrible for you.”

  “It was, but I accepted it. Because we were friends, and we were honest with each other about it.”

  “But Gabe wasn’t honest with me. He’d been in prison before he met me, and started dealing to Eldridge students for Mrs. Wells so she wouldn’t tell me about it.”

  “He probably thought he was starting over after prison,” Sean said. “He probably thought he could be a new person and change his whole life. Patrick said he was a great guy and was crazy about you.”

  “I thought so, too.”

  “Hannah told me what happened. I think Scott and Gabe were both trying to protect you.”

  “Gabe went down to Florida and got a job at some boat business in the Keys. Brian found him there and talked him into going with him to do a drug deal. They sold the first batch in Miami and Brian sent Theo his money. Then they had a car wreck in Fort Lauderdale. Brian took off and left Gabe pinned in the car. Gabe says he was just being paid to drive the car, but who knows what really happened? He got arrested with a boatload of drugs in the car. He wrote that letter to me from the county jail before he went to prison.”

  “If you’d received the letter, would you have gone to him?”

  “Oh, probably; I was such an idiot.”

  “So, what’s different now?”

  “I don’t trust my own judgment,” Maggie said. “I think one thing but I feel something completely opposite. What should I do?”

  “I think if you don’t face him you’ll be stuck at this same point forever, and might waste the rest of your life wondering what if.”

  “I’ll wait until later to listen to the message. I’m not ready right now.”

  “Then if you don’t mind, I’m going to check my messages and do some e-mailing.”

  “Go right ahead. I’m going for a walk.”

  Maggie put on her coat and boots and went out the back door of the bookstore into the alley. The night was crisp and clear; the black sky was filled with stars and a fat crescent moon. She walked down to the corner behind the bank and crossed Pine Mountain Road, then continued down the alley to where it made a T with the alley between Sunflower Street and Pine Mountain Road. She turned up this alley, which went past the back of the bed and breakfast on the right. There were several cars with Maryland and Virginia license plates in the back parking lot next to Ava’s mini van, so Maggie knew she had a full house.

  Further up the alley on the left was the back door to Scott’s house. She knocked, and he must have been in the kitchen, because he let her in right away. He was surprised to see her, she could tell. He had paperwork spread out on the kitchen table.

  “I’m interrupting,” she said.

  “I’m glad you did,” he said. “Have a seat. Do you want some coffee or tea?”

  “No, nothing for me, thanks. I’ve had enough coffee and tea today, not to mention whiskey.”

  Scott offered to take her coat but she declined, saying, “I can’t stay long.”

  Scott gathered up his paperwork as Maggie sat down at the table.

  “What’s going on?” he asked.

  Maggie felt a rush of affection for Scott, who was sitting there looking at her with such tenderness and concern. She realized again how much she missed him, and how good it was to feel how much he cared. It made her feel even worse about what she was about to do.

  “I have a terribly rude question to ask you,” she said.

  “Rude?”

  “Maybe rude is not the word. Impertinent, maybe. Amazingly insensitive would be even more accurate.”

  “Okay. I’ll brace myself.”

  “Before I ask you this rude question, though, I want to say something else. Something nice.”

  “Alright. I’ll brace myself after you say the nice thing but not before.”

  “You and I have been having this weird, on-again, off-again, whatchamacallit between us for a year or so now. But before that, what we had was a friendship, a good one. Would you agree?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “The reason I’m going to ask you this amazingly insensitive question is because I trust you to give me an honest answer, as my friend, even if you would rather not say anything; even if you would be tempted to lie.”

  “I’m prepared to be offended and still answer truthfully.”

  “I want to apologize in advance for the temerity to even ask this.”

  “Just ask me, Maggie. I won’t lie to you.”

  “Do you think Gabe really loved me, or was he only pretending to?”

  Scott blinked and took a deep breath. Then he looked at Maggie, and she could see she’d hurt him.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “You were his closest friend. You are the only person I can ask.”

  “I believed he loved you,” Scott said.

  “Thank you for that,” she said, and stood up.

  “Maggie,” Scott said. “There’s something I want to say to you.”

  “Fair’s fair,” she said, and sat back down.

  “I know Gabe is coming back to testify against Mrs. Wells. I know you’ll see him and there’s a chance you may get back together. I know how much you loved each other. I just want you to remember one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I love you, too.”

  “I know that. I do.”

  “I love you enough to stand by and watch you go through this next part, and if you don’t end up with me, I’ll understand. Even though I’ll be sad, I won’t hold it against you.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Maggie said. “You’re either the kindest or the stupidest man I’ve ever met. Either way, I’m lucky to have you in my life.”

  “Don’t forget what I said.”

  “I won’t.”

  Scott watched her walk down the alley until he couldn’t see her anymore. Then he sat down and spread his paperwork back out on the table. He couldn’t read it for a minute or two, because his eyes were a little blurry, but eventually he got back to work.

  Ed waited up for Mandy to come home from working at the Rose and Thorn. He knew she would be exhausted after covering the bakery all day and going straight to the Rose and Thorn without a break. When she walked in the door, Ed could see dark shadows under her eyes. He hugged her and helped her take her coat off.

  “This is a nice surprise,” she said. “You’re usually sawin’ logs in the recliner by now.”

  “Can I get you anything?” he said. “Something to eat, maybe?”

  “Naw,” she said, as she slumped down
on the couch. “I did nothin’ but pick at the bakery all day, and Delia brung me some soup this evenin’. Did you go over to Bonnie’s?”

  “Yes, I did. Then I picked up Tommy, brought him home, gave him some dinner, and helped him with his homework. We played scrabble, watched some television, and he was in bed by nine.”

  Ed sat down and put his arm around Mandy. She snuggled close and rested her head on his shoulder.

  “I sure do appreciate havin’ you around,” Mandy said. “The Fitzpatricks are always willin’ to take Tommy when I gotta work, but they’ve got their hands full right now. It’s so good to have a man to look after him. He loves you, you know.”

  “I love him, too,” Ed said. “I enjoy taking care of him.”

  Mandy yawned.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever talked to you about when Eve and I broke up,” he said.

  “Huh uh,” Mandy said. “You never have.”

  “We were together six years,” Ed said. “From graduate school until the year after my dad died. She didn’t belong here in Rose Hill. She tried her best, but it just made us both miserable. I thought after she left that eventually we might get back together, but I haven’t thought that for a long time. The reason I mention this now is because I don’t know if I ever told you that we never got divorced. There was no reason to do it, and neither of us ever wanted to marry anyone else. Except now I think you and I should get married and give Tommy a stable home. I think he’d like that. What do you think?”

  Mandy was sound asleep. It had taken Ed a long time to compose that big declaration, and he’d been proud of how he got through it. He guessed he’d have to do it again tomorrow.

  CHAPTER EIGHT - Saturday

  Maggie spent most of the night picturing various scenarios that ended with her reuniting with or ending things with Gabe. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, she dug out all the memories she’d stored in the furthest recesses of her mind, somewhere she never liked to go if she could help it (alongside: her father falling off the ladder; cousin Liam dying of leukemia; and climbing out the second floor window of her beloved house as it burned to the ground).

  At the time she believed Gabe had saved her from a sad, lonely life working in her family bakery and living in her parents’ house. Like a one-man demolition team, he’d persistently chipped away at the wall of smart-ass she hid behind until she was brave enough to show her true self to him. And then he loved her. A love she could feel, taste, smell, and see, every day they were together. After so many years of feeling like she came first with no one, and that no one would ever love her the way she wanted to be loved, Gabe had wooed her with patience and tenacity, and had made her feel cherished.