The Many Lives of June Crandall

by Suzanne Whitfield Vince

  After she got the drawing as real as she could get it--she'd always been good at art--she went into the bathroom, stood on her tiptoes and studied herself in the mirror. Unlike her mother's haunting blue eyes, Grace had eyes that were neither blue nor green, but a lovely mixture of both that changed color depending on what she was wearing. Her eyes had golden specks in them, and Sister Maggie used to tell her they were flecks of real gold. She puckered her lips at the mirror and decided that she didn't have her mother's lips, either. Her lips were much thinner. But their noses were the same, and they had the same dark hair and olive skin.

  Overall, Grace decided that she did indeed look like her mother, and it gave her comfort.

  Chapter Three

  Maggie's departure was like a death. Grace felt as though her heart had shriveled up and disappeared. Life at the orphanage was like the camp she lived at in her dream, except there was no longer a mother to love her. For the first time in her life, she felt like an orphan----unwanted and completely alone in the world.

  Before Maggie left, she'd never wanted to be adopted, had even made sure it never happened. In part because of the love she and Maggie shared, but also because she was sure that her mother was going to come for her one day and worried that if she lived somewhere else, her mother would never find her. Now she wanted nothing more than to go live somewhere else, anywhere else rather than continue to live in the one place that reminded her every day of who and what she was. Unloved, unlovable. She knew it must be so because God had seen fit to take two mothers from her.

  Without even realizing it, Grace built a fortress around her heart. She declined offers of friendship, preferring instead to be alone. Even the letters she received from Maggie failed to console her. When the pain in her heart became too overwhelming, Grace imagined a new friend--a small white dog she named Fiona.

  Fiona slept by her feet at night and went to school with her each day. When Grace found her attention wandering in class one day--and this happened far more frequently these days--she thought up more elaborate ideas for her detective stories. She and Fiona would solve cases that no one else had been able to solve. Fiona would have a supersonic sniffer so she'd be able to detect clues that mere humans could not. And since nobody would be able to see her, the world would think Grace was the greatest detective in the entire world. But she needed a character name--Pepper O'Flannery, she decided. And she would--

  Sister Timothena clapped her hands, snapping Grace back to the classroom. "Miss Adams, would you like to join us here in class, please?"

  The other kids snickered. A slow burn crept into her cheeks and she imagined Fiona biting them all on the ankles, and despite her best efforts, her lips turned upward.

  "I'm glad you are so amused, my dear," Sister Timothena said, "but we are here to learn and it is my job to teach you. Now please sit up straight and pay attention."

  "Yes, Sister," Grace said. It was difficult to stop the stories from coming once they started, but she knew better than to get caught twice in one day.

  Despite the sadness that was her constant companion, Grace did well in school, scoring perfect marks, but she continued to get in trouble for daydreaming. They tried punishing her by giving her extra chores, but she just did them with a pasted-on smile and continued to get good grades, so eventually they gave up. Her teachers simply resorted to a hand clap to bring her back to reality, and then went on with the lesson.

  1990

  The summer after sixth grade, two years after Grace arrived at the orphanage, a new boy named Robert Sampson came in. Robbie was two years older than Grace, and all the girls swooned over his golden locks and proper manners. All the girls, that is, except for Grace.

  It started not long after he arrived. Somehow he managed to go everywhere Grace went, and when no one was looking, he would pinch her or trip her or pull her hair. Pretty soon he got more daring and started pinching her on the rear- end. She slapped him the first time he did it and got caught by Sister Theresa, who immediately scolded her.

  "But he started it!" she tried to explain.

  "I don't care who started it, Grace. Now apologize to Mr. Sampson."

  Grace stared at her.

  "Now, young lady!" Sister Theresa told her.

  Grace turned her glare on him. "I apologize for hitting you, Mr. Sampson," she said in a sickeningly sweet voice.

  He gave her a wicked smile that let her know who was in charge. Grace had never hated anyone before, and she knew it was a sin, but she almost hated Rotten Robbie.

  Robbie upped the ante a few weeks later when he approached her on the playground and demanded that she kiss him.

  Her mouth fell open. "What did you say?"

  "You heard me. Kiss me or you will never lay eyes on your precious little bear. What's his name? Theodore Pizzle?"

  Grace gasped and ran as fast as she could up the stairs to her dorm room. When she got to her bed, Theodore Izzle was in fact missing. She always laid him on her pillow in the morning when she made her bed, and he was gone. Heat scorched her cheeks and she knew for sure that, sin or not, she hated that rotten little turd. She ran to the boy's dorm and searched for the bear, but couldn''t find him anywhere. She stomped back to the playground and found him watching her, a smug look upon his face.

  "I hate you, Robbie Sampson," she said.

  He smiled as though she had just told him she loved him. "Well, you know how to get it back."

  Hands on hips, she stomped her foot. "Never!"

  "You know where to find me when you change your mind." He winked and walked away.

  Grace lay in bed that night, trying to imagine her life without Theodore Izzle. He was all she had of her real mother, and she knew what she was going to have to do. The next day after school, she met him on the playground and told him she would agree to his terms, but that they had to do it in private.

  "Nope," he said. "Right here. I want everyone to see."

  Grace stared at him, speechless, debating what to do. She glanced around to see whether anyone was watching, and then she did it.

  She kissed him.

  "Grace Elizabeth Adams!" she heard Sister Theresa yell. "You come over here right now."

  And right there, surrounded by all of the other children, Sister Teresa scolded and humiliated her for kissing the only person on earth she hated. The kids laughed, and Sister Theresa took Grace by the arm to Mother Pascal's office. Grace tried to explain to Mother that she'd been blackmailed into kissing him, and Sister Theresa was sent to Grace's room to confirm that the bear was in fact missing. A few minutes later, Sister Theresa returned with the dirty brown bear in hand.

  "Is this the bear you were referring to, Grace?" Mother Pascal asked.

  Grace hung her head and nodded.

  "I found it on your bed, right where it always is," Sister Theresa said.

  Grace wasn't sure, but Sister Theresa seemed to be enjoying this.

  She could see this was a losing battle. She apologized to both women for her behavior, and told them she would accept whatever punishment they deemed appropriate. Then she prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for the sin she planned to commit against Rotten Robbie. She wasn't yet sure how or when or where, but she would get back at him, and she made sure to lock Theodore Izzle in her trunk every day after that.

  In middle school, Grace was placed in advanced classes for math, history, and science. She found her classes to be a little more challenging, and she tried very hard to stay focused while in class. She excelled in language arts, and learned a lot about the art of writing from her teacher, Sister Andre.

  Sister Andre agreed to critique some of the stories Grace had written, so she could improve her writing skills. She told Grace that she was an outstanding writer and encouraged her to keep writing. She did, and she found that it helped keep her mind off Rotten Robbie.

  Just after Thanksgiving that year, a major snowstorm blanketed the city, closing the school for the day. The kids zipped up their coats, donned their glo
ves and boots, and ran outside to play. The snowplow left behind a mountain of snow in the corner of the playground, and Grace decided to build a fort by digging through it. She was about four feet in when she heard someone behind her, breathing hard.

  She turned around and saw none other than Rotten Robbie. It was the first time she'd been alone with him since the kissing thing, and her heart pounded. She hadn't yet come up with a suitable plan of revenge, but when she saw Sister Theresa walking toward the snow cave, she made a spur-of-the-moment decision. She lunged forward, and pulled Robbie's pants down to his ankles. She screamed, just as Sister Theresa appeared in the entry to the fort.

  "Young man, pull your pants up, right now!"

  Sister Theresa grabbed Robbie by the ear and led him inside with Grace in tow. When they reached Mother Pascal's office, Grace turned on the waterworks and Sister Theresa comforted her while she waited for Mother to deal with Robbie. While the tears continued to flow, Grace told her how Robbie had begun terrorizing her when he first arrived, and how difficult it''d been that no one believed her, and that she hoped everyone would see the truth now.

  When Robbie came out of Mother Pascal's office, he glared at Grace. His eyes were so cold and penetrating that a chill ran down her spine. He's more than rotten, she realized. He's evil, and she would do everything in her power to avoid him from now on.

  Mother Pascal called her in next. She offered Grace a glass of water, which she quickly gulped down.

  "How are you, dear?" The matronly nun seemed honestly concerned.

  Grace squirmed in her chair. "I...I'm okay," she said, hoping the twenty shades of guilt she felt didn't show on her face.

  "Good, I'm glad to hear it. I just want you to know that we take this kind of behavior very seriously, and Mr. Sampson will be disciplined accordingly. Please also let me apologize for not having identified Mr. Sampson's errant behavior before this unfortunate incident."

  "Thank you, Mother."

  In the days following the incident, something Grace never expected happened. Other girls came forward and made complaints about Robbie. One of the girls in her dorm--Valerie Baxter--came over and sat on her bed one night and told her how sorry she was for what Robbie had done to her. Valerie and Grace were the same age, but up to that point, they hadn't been friends. Valerie was beautiful with long, blonde hair and large green eyes, and a slender body like Grace's. She confessed that Robbie had harassed her as well and that, after the incident in the snow fort, she'd found the courage to tell Mother Pascal about him. Grace thanked her, and afterward, the two girls became good friends. Grace even started spending less time with Fiona.

  The following week, Robbie was sent to a boy's home. She felt sort of bad about it, had even asked God for forgiveness, but she was glad he was gone. She told no one about her lie, vowed to never confess it to anyone. It would stay between her and Fiona. And, of course, Theodore Izzle.

  Chapter Four

  By the following summer, Grace and Valerie had become inseparable. Grace no longer needed Fiona, though she still continued to write stories starring Pepper O'Flannery and Fiona. She shared some of her stories with Valerie, who declared her a brilliant writer.

  "I hope you'll remember me when you're a rich and famous author," she said.

  "Of course, dahling," Grace said. "We'll be a couple of old spinsters and live in a mansion by the sea."

  "Just us and our twenty-seven cats," Valerie said, and they fell backward on the bed in fits of laughter.

  Every winter the city flooded the basketball court for the kids to ice-skate on, but Grace usually kept to herself, opting instead to stay inside and write or read. This time, Valerie dragged her outside despite her protests.

  "Stop being such a hermit," Valerie said. "It's not healthy."

  Grace stood ankle-deep in the snow and glared at her friend just as a snowball caught her square in the back.

  Valerie pulled her down. A rapid-fire barrage of snowballs whizzed over their heads as Valerie quickly packed a small arsenal of snowballs. Grace did the same. When the coast was clear, Valerie gave her the signal and they jumped up and fired back, launching one snowball after another. The boys ran for cover and the girls fell to the ground, holding their sides from laughter.

  When they ran out of ammunition, Valerie led Grace away. "Come on, let's go build a snowman, and then we'll make snow angels.""

  They spent the winter skating, sledding, and playing in the snow, and by spring Grace was happy again for the first time since Maggie left.

  Maggie was still living at the convent in Boston. Grace continued to write her and shared all about her friendship with Valerie. Maggie told her every time she wrote how proud she was of her, and how much she loved her. She had been Grace's lifeline until her friendship with Valerie, and she told Maggie that she hoped one day she could meet her best friend.

  The annual essay contest was announced in early April, and Sister Andre encouraged Grace to submit an entry. She thought long and hard about what to write, and when she made her decision, she spent long hours writing--sometimes even by flashlight after lights-out. When she finished the essay, she delivered it to Sister Andre and waited nervously for her reaction. It was her first foray into serious, grown-up writing and she wondered what her mentor would think.

  Sister Andre read the title and scanned the pages. She raised her eyebrows. "I'm impressed, young lady. I look forward to reading this."

  Grace broke into a smile. "Thanks." It would be a long wait for the results, which would be announced on May 15th.

  The moment finally came at homeroom. Valerie took Grace's hand as the speaker above the clock crackled to life.

  "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen," the principal said. "I am pleased to announce the winner of this year's essay contest. The winner, and first two runners-up, will be reading their essays at an assembly this Friday morning at ten o'clock. And now, the name of the second runner-up is...Debbie Smith, with her story entitled, The Person I Most Admire."

  "Well, that means you're first or second," Valerie whispered.

  "Or nothing," Grace whispered back.

  "The first runner-up is Annabelle Maxwell with her essay, If I Could Be a Different Age."

  "So it's first or nothing," Grace whispered.

  "I know which one I'm betting on."

  "And now for the first-place winner," the principal's disembodied voice continued.

  Grace bit her lip and glanced at Valerie, who tossed her a slanted smile.

  "The name of the winning essay is The Story of Adrianka Crandall, How I Survived a Nazi Concentration Camp, written by Grace Elizabeth Adams."

  The class erupted in applause, and Grace nearly leapt from her chair. This was her crowning moment. The proudest day of her life.

  When Grace initially wrote this story, she started from what she remembered of the dream she'd had years ago--a dream she'd never forgotten. But then her writing continued to flow as she wrote about the awful living conditions, lack of food and water, disease, and the hard labor that all children ages ten and older were forced to endure. She wrote about the death that happened all around them, and how she had held her own mother while she died of diphtheria, and how she herself had somehow managed to survive until the end. She wrote in such detail, it was as if she had really lived that life. Before turning it in, she went to the library to check the facts, and was surprised at how accurate she'd been.

  But how could that be?

  As the school year drew to a close, the kids began preparation for the annual 8th grade dance. Grace and Valerie decided to go together, along with some of the other girls.

  When they arrived, Grace looked around at the gymnasium in wonder. Hundreds of balloons and streamers, all in spring colors, hung from the rafters, and confetti littered the floor. A disco ball hung over the dance floor. The soft lights set the mood and the girls began shaking and twirling and twisting to the music, having the time of their lives.

  Later in the evening, a boy as
ked Valerie to dance and Grace watched from the sidelines. She yawned, and decided to go back to the dorm. She waved to Valerie and left through the back door of the gymnasium, which opened up to the playground.

  Something crunched underfoot as soon as she stepped out the door. In the light from inside, she could see a pile of glass with a rock lying in the middle of it. Apparently someone had knocked out the light. She looked around but saw no one, and continued on toward the dormitory.

  Thunder echoed in the distance. Rain would be coming soon, so she quickened her pace. She thought she heard someone behind her so she stopped and listened, but heard nothing.

  Her heart sped up as she continued walking--more briskly now--toward the dorm. She heard footsteps behind her again, but before she had time to react, someone tackled her to the ground. Landing face first on the pavement, she kicked and jerked and fought to free herself but her attacker was too strong.

  Fear tumbled through her and robbed her of her breath. Her cries for help were silenced by a hand placed over her mouth. She felt his breath on her neck as he spoke.

  "This is payback, you little bitch."

  Rotten Robbie!

  He held her to the ground, pressing her face into the pavement, and lifted up her dress. He tore her underwear off and unfastened his belt.

  Her body shuddered with fear. She tried once more to free herself but was unable to move. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed for help. She knew what she'd done to him in the snow cave was wrong, but she didn't deserve this. Please, oh merciful God, forgive me and send help, now!

  Robbie unzipped his pants and tugged them down. He pushed her legs apart with his feet. A moment later, a white-hot pain ripped through her. Her cries echoed through the schoolyard. "Stop, please, oh God, please, stop!"

  Her screaming continued for what felt like hours, and then she heard a loud scream that wasn't her own, followed by a thud. And Rotten Robbie's body collapsed on top of her.