Signs of Love and Deliverance

by Tracy Kay

  “So I am beginning to realize,” Simon agreed and changed the subject. “How are you holding up, my friend?” Simon walked to a side table that had several decanters and glasses on a tray. He picked up a decanter half-full of amber liquid and poured them each a drink.

  Nicholas took the drink. “Been drinking too much of this.” He took a sip and smiled wryly. “But I think I have gotten through the worst of it. At least I am coherent again and not being a complete ass. I have treated Maxine horribly as well as everyone else. I don’t make a good drunk.”

  Simon regarded him sympathetically. “You have lost your intended, Nicholas. It is understandable that you will grieve.”

  “Yes, but I should have done it without the drink,” Nicholas admitted wryly.

  Simon nodded with a grimace. “We all deal with grief in different ways.”

  “And I did it very poorly,” Nicholas laughed for the first time in days. It felt good to him.

  Simon admired his friend; a lesser man wouldn’t have admitted his weakness. “You seem to be holding up despite it and keeping your sense of humor.”

  “I am doing my best and Maxine has been a help. She doesn’t mince words in any case.” Nicholas grinned in memory at her harsh words, feeling fortunate that she had cared enough to say them.

  “She seems like a special lady,” Simon remarked, remembering the feeling of familiarity he had with her.

  “Yes, she is,” he agreed.

  “Now, about Raven.” Simon changed the subject, disregarding the odd feeling. “I know a bit about him through Brandon and have met him several times, but I want to know more about the man who has my sister blushing.”

  Nicholas chortled. “Afraid your sister might be falling in love with a man out of the ordinary?”

  Simon grinned. “I am grateful she is finally interested in a man.”

  Nicholas returned Simon’s grin. “He is an imposing and unusual man,” he disclosed and proceeded to explain Raven’s role in their lives.

  Damon watched Madeline toss and turn in the bed they shared. He knew if he joined her, she would settle down and sleep more peacefully, but he couldn’t bring himself to join her. It was becoming increasingly difficult to hold her and not make love to her, but he had promised Brandon he would protect her, not seduce her.

  Madeline was so beautiful and so sweet. His crew had fallen in love with her after the first day, including her in their camaraderie and watching their language. He found it remarkable that she had wiggled her way into his crew’s hearts so thoroughly that they treated her like a sister and sought out her advice. However, through the veneer of confidence, she was a very insecure woman. Damon grinned. She didn’t think he was aware of her attempts of getting his attention, nor of her efforts at starving herself. As much as he was enjoying himself, he supposed it was time to put an end to her antics. He did not want her hurting herself.

  Damon ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He wanted her, badly, and there was not a damn thing he could do about it. Damon rose from his desk and closed the log book. Maybe the night breeze would cool his ardor. Damon grimaced at the impossibility of the idea.

  Opening the door, Damon paused when he heard a soft whimper coming from Madeline. Damon sighed, closed the door, and walked over to the bed. She was crying in her sleep again. He knew it was from the grief and fear she refused to express while she was awake. He had tried to get her to let it go, but she was stubborn and always said she was fine, hiding her true feelings from him and from herself.

  Damon removed his boots and resignedly joined Madeline, pulling her into his arms. He would always find it amazing how the simple act of holding her calmed her. Damon tenderly stroked her hair and watched her sleep, wishing there was more he could do for her than hold her.

  Madeline watched the morning sun peeking in and out between the clouds, glittering across the sea. She yawned, hiding it behind her hand. She was tired and irritable. She knew Damon had held her last night. At the break of dawn, she had watched him change his clothes, pull on his boots, and leave the cabin through her eyelashes. He didn’t know she had watched him, nor did he know that she cried out her frustration into his pillow. He would hold her at night when he thought she wouldn’t know, but during the day, he ignored her. She had had enough. Madeline decided she was going to get his attention if it killed her.

  Madeline contemplated the ropes and sails high above her billowing out in the wind. On impulse and out of frustration, Madeline walked towards the rigging. Her first excursion up the rigging didn’t get her the attention she wanted from Damon, and she doubted it would this time, but the thought of the wind in her face and the exhilarating height enticed her. Madeline didn’t think to bother changing out of her flowing skirt into her breeches like she had the last time. Instead, she drew her skirt together, gathered it up between her legs like she used to when she climbed trees as a young girl, and tucked the material into her waist band. She began to climb.

  Madeline wasn’t thinking clearly about the dangers. She hadn’t noticed that the water was turning choppy, and the wind was becoming fierce with the promise of rain. She hadn’t seen the sun hide behind the dark clouds rolling towards them, or the streaks of lightening in the distance where the sky had become gray and gloomy. She hadn’t anticipated the ropes becoming slick with salt water, or the wind whipping her hair around her, and her skirts billowing about her, tearing them from her waist band. Nor had she expected the wind being strong enough to tug at the ropes in her hands, making it difficult to catch them. Climbing the slippery ropes wasn’t the same as climbing the sturdy oak trees on her family’s estate.

  Madeline desperately clung to the rope in her hands, her feet searching for footing, but finding none. If she could climb a little further, she would reach the crow’s nest and be safe, but she couldn’t seem to get a good hold on the ropes to pull herself up. With some relief, she was able to find her footing and tightened her grip on the ropes. Madeline hugged the rigging and was close to tears when she heard his voice.

  “Madeline!”

  Damon’s wonderful voice, a rich, clear baritone, settled into her heart. She had never heard anything so sweet. Madeline turned towards his voice. Far below her, she saw a furious and worried Damon scowling up at her, and she felt a sense of relief. When the first drops fell on her hands, she glanced up at the sky and a deluge of cold rain hit her face with stinging force. The wind ripped at her body, and she turned to face the sails, grasping the ropes tightly with both hands, pressing her body against them, too terrified to move.

  “Madeline!” Damon’s voice reached her through the increasing roar of wind and rain. “Come down, Madeline!”

  Madeline turned again to look down at Damon, her left hand losing its grip on the rope. “I can’t!” Madeline began to panic. She was slipping and she was lightheaded. She tried grasping the rope with her free hand, but the wind kept whipping it out of her reach. When her left foot lost its precarious leverage, she screamed and swung backward away from the rigging, dangling by the tight hold she had of the rope in her right hand. Desperately, she swung herself forward, grasped the ropes in both hands and exhaled a breath of relief. She hadn’t fallen yet.

  Madeline leaned her head against the rope, breathed in a gulp of air, and exhaled again before another gust of wind tried to release her grip. “Damon!” Madeline screamed, which ended in a grunt when she felt a heavy weight push against her back.

  “I am right here, Madeline!” Damon shouted over the wind and rain.

  “Damon?” she cried.

  “Yes, baby, I am here.” Damon wrapped a thick, muscled arm around her and got a tighter hold of the rope in his other hand. “Let go of the rigging, Madeline,” he directed.

  Madeline shook her head, afraid to let go.

  “I have you, baby. Let go.”

  Madeline took a deep breath, putting all her faith in Damon and let go. Damon’s arm was like steel around her waist despite the wind’s efforts to yank them apart.<
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  “Put your arm around my neck and turn to face me,” he ordered loudly in her ear.

  Madeline shook her head vehemently, terrified that he would lose his grip.

  “Do it, Madeline!” At his fierce command, he loosened his hold. Madeline turned in his embrace, wrapped her arms around his neck, and held tightly onto him. “Put your legs around my waist and pull yourself onto my back,” he ordered and Madeline did as he bid, hugging him closely.

  “Damon?” She questioned, not sure how they were going to get down.

  “Hold on and don’t let go!” Damon yelled over the increasing force of the storm. Getting a tight hold of the rope, Damon began slowly to climb down, careful not to lose his grip or footing. Madeline hid her face in his neck and clung to him for dear life.

  When Damon reached the solid planks of the ship, he untangled Madeline from around him and stood her quaking form in front of him. Running a hand through her wet hair, Damon searched her face with his eyes. Before he could stop himself, he pulled her into his tight embrace and kissed her. The kiss was long and hard, full of relief and fury. After a moment, Damon pushed her away from him and ordered harshly, “Madeline, to our cabin, now.”

  Madeline stared at him in bewilderment from his kiss and his obvious anger.

  “Now, Madeline,” Damon repeated in a stern voice.

  “Yes, Damon.” Madeline meekly nodded and left for the cabin.

  Turning to his watching crew who had stopped their duties to observe the dangerous scene, Damon commanded them. “Get to work. This is going to be one hell of a storm. And get those sails under control!” He shouted, referring to the flailing sails that had been neglected while the crew was preoccupied with Madeline’s rescue. Damon ran a hand through his wet hair and turned to Tylib. “Can you deal with this storm on your own for a while?”

  “Yes, Captain.” Tylib nodded with confidence and placed a hand on Damon’s shoulder. “You go deal with the lady. If I need you, I will send for you.”

  “Thank you, my friend,” Damon said before heading for the cabin.

  “Damon.” At his first mate’s voice, Damon turned back and lifted his brows questioningly at him. “Don’t be too hard on her. She only wanted your attention.”

  “She has it,” Damon grunted and headed for his cabin.

  When he entered the cabin, the sight that greeted him was a drenched, shivering Madeline staring out the window at the raging storm. Damon quietly closed the door and headed for his desk. The silence was deafening. His anger was palpable and Madeline’s fear was obvious with each shiver. After filling a glass with brandy and placing it on the table, Damon sat down, unmindful of the water from his wet body that would ruin the chair’s upholstery.

  “Madeline, come here,” Damon ordered. Madeline chewed at her lower lip with her teeth and slowly walked to him, stopping in front of him. Damon put his arms around her waist and pulled her forward to stand between his legs. “Madeline, why did you disobey me? I told you not to climb the rigging, but you did anyway.”

  Madeline shrugged, too afraid and intimidated to speak. She didn’t like the way he made her feel. She wanted to cling to him desperately, but run away from him at the same time. He was so much bigger than she, with a thick muscular body and a dominating presence. She had never been this afraid of anyone before, afraid of his anger, his disappointment, and his rejection. She didn’t know what to say to him, and she didn’t know what made her disobey him. She should not have defied him, but some little demon in her wanted to test Damon. Maybe to see how far he would let her go before reining her in. Now she knew: it wasn’t far. Madeline trembled. She did not know what to expect from him.

  Damon sighed at her silence. “I am not going to hurt you, Madeline. There is no need to fear me. Tell me why you did this?”

  In a soft voice, she whispered, “I am not sure. To get your attention and maybe to challenge you.”

  “To challenge me?” he asked, puzzled.

  Madeline nodded tentatively. “To see what you would do.”

  “What I would do?” Damon was confused. Never had he heard of anything so ridiculous. “You risked your life to see what I would do?”

  Madeline lowered her head in shame. “I didn’t know I was risking my life. It was impulsive, I know. I climbed trees all the time when I was younger and Brandon allowed me to climb the rigging on his ship. I am not afraid of heights. It is exciting and liberating to be up so high.”

  Taking her chin in his palm, he raised her head to meet her eyes. “I am not Brandon. He may have permitted you to climb rigging, but I will not. Climbing rigging is not the same as climbing trees when you were a little girl, and impulsive or not, it was not the best way to challenge me.” He tapped her nose with one long finger. “You scared the hell out of me, lady, and if you ever do anything so impulsive again, I will confine you to this room for the duration of this voyage.”

  Her tears began to fall and Damon gently wiped them away. Looking at him pleadingly, Madeline apologized. “I am sorry, Damon. Will you forgive me?”

  Damon guided her down onto his lap. “Yes, Madeline, I will forgive you, but I want to know why you felt it was necessary to challenge me?”

  Miserable, she leaned her head against his chest. “I wanted to know if you would notice me and if you would get angry.”

  “Oh, I noticed you, honey, and I am angry. No doubt of that.” He lifted her chin again to meet her eyes. “But, Madeline, I know how to control my anger and I am not going to take it out on you in any violent way. I am not that kind of man. No matter how angry I get or how much I fear for you, I will never deliberately hurt you, not with words or actions.” He brushed her drying hair back from her face. “We may argue from time to time and have a difference of opinion, but I will never take my anger out on you. I will talk with you, find a solution to our problems. But,” he tapped her nose for emphasis, “when I tell you not to do something, like climb the rigging, I expect you to obey me. If you don’t, I will confine you to this cabin and I know you will not like that.”

  She nodded her head in accordance. “I would hate that.”

  “Then I can feel secure in knowing that you won’t disobey me again?” Damon gazed at her sternly, waiting for her answer.

  Madeline grimaced. “I can’t promise that, but I know the consequences if I do.”

  Damon rumbled. “I suppose I will have to live with that.” Madeline giggled unable to stop herself, and Damon gave her a stern look before handing her the drink he had poured for her. “Drink this. It will warm you up. You are shivering.”

  “I am freezing,” Madeline claimed and sipped at the drink.

  At her admission, Damon took the drink from her hand, placed it on the table, and stood up with his arms wrapped around her. “I would get you a hot bath, but I am sorry, honey, there is no way to heat the water for you. I don’t allow fire on my ship during a storm such as this one, only small lanterns.” Kissing her forehead, he let her go. “Change your clothes, wrap yourself up in my robe, and curl up in the blankets. That should keep you warm.”

  He picked up the glass of brandy and swallowed the remaining contents before putting the glass in the cabinet. He gazed out the window. “The storm is picking up.” He turned to her and ordered, “I don’t want you going out in it.”

  Madeline nodded her agreement.

  “Promise me,” he said sternly.

  Madeline shivered. “I promise. I am not going out in that.”

  Damon pointed his finger at her. “I am going to hold you to that.” He opened the door, but before leaving he added, “I may be a couple of hours. I will try to have Corey bring you some food, which I expect you to eat. Don’t think I am not aware of your attempts at starving yourself, young lady. It is why I have been having all my meals with you.” He winked at her dismayed expression and left the cabin, closing the door softly behind him.

  To her consternation, she had no idea he had been aware of her dieting. She had been trying to lose a li
ttle weight ever since the Malany’s ball. The hurtful comments from her mother, Melissa, and Lord Alfred had bothered her more than she wished to admit. She was fond of fruit tarts and she had allowed herself to indulge occasionally, but with the recent criticism, she had decided to avoid food. She thought she had hid her dieting efforts from her family and she had tried to keep it from Damon as well. She had avoided having meals with him, which had become increasingly impossible, and now, she knew why. The wretch had known she wasn’t eating all along. Madeline laughed at herself. There was no pulling one over on Damon. She had a feeling he would always know what she was up to, and she would never be able to keep secrets from him like she could with Brandon.

  Madeline picked up his heavy robe and brought it up close to her face and inhaled deeply, taking in his scent of which she could not get enough. That was when the realization hit her. She was in love with Damon Spencer. Madeline smiled happily with her new discovery. She put the robe on the bed before removing her shoes, beginning to do as Damon bid.

  A flash of lightening filled the room. Madeline stared out the window and jumped with fear when the loud boom of thunder filled the cabin. The ship lurched to the side as a huge wave crashed into it, causing Madeline to stumble backward against the wall. On unsteady feet, Madeline quickly extinguished the small lantern Damon had left lit for her, donned his robe, sat on the bed, drew her knees up to her chin, wrapped her arms around her legs, and stared fearfully into the darkened cabin.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “Damn, but it is wicked out there.” Damon entered the cabin with slashing rain sweeping in behind him. He snapped the door closed in the face of the pounding rain and howling winds. He slipped off his coat and hung it on the peg near the door to dry. “It is going to be some time before that storm moves on. Are you warm enough, Madeline?” He asked as he unbuttoned his shirt and placed it over a chair. When Madeline didn’t respond to him, he glanced towards her and saw her huddled on the bed, rocking herself back and forth, staring into nothing. “Madeline?” Damon observed her with concern, sat on the bed next to her, and took hold of her shoulders. She was hugging herself tightly, wrapped in his thick robe, unaware of her surroundings, trapped in her own nightmare.