Too Hot Four Hula: 4 (The Tiki Goddess Mystery Series)
Page 11
One officer at a desk near the door kept watch.
At least she was the only “Puss in Boots” in the room.
Em whimpered, but it wasn’t because of her situation. Her head banged as if ten Taiko drummers were trapped inside. The Hilton security officers pointed her to a chair.
“Sit,” one of them said. He handed over her tricorn.
Her other escort walked over to the officer at the desk and handed him the shopping bag that contained Em’s purse and mask.
Em sat. Until then she hadn’t noticed the rip in her right fishnet stocking. She tried to calculate what that was going to cost, but her head wasn’t working right with all the drumming going on.
She rubbed the spot between her brows with both thumbs, but the banging continued. A door opened, and she recognized Lieutenant Chun when he strode into the main room and sized up the crowd. He signaled the hotel cops, and one of them walked over. They chatted for a minute or two while Chun nodded and glanced her way now and then. Finally the Hilton officers walked out. Chun wagged his hand at her, indicating she should cross the room.
Em rose slowly so as not to stir up her headache any worse. As she started toward Chun one of the hookers yelled, “Hey, she just got here. We been here a good forty minutes. You’re wasting our time, Chunnie.”
Chun shot her a dark glare. The hooker shut up. The girl beside her went right on popping her gum. The Statue of Liberty had either passed out or fallen asleep.
“I thought you were the sane one,” Chun said as he ushered Em into his office. “Where’s the rest of your gang?”
“Drinking their way down Kalakaua.”
“Shoots.” He wagged his head. “Probably going to end up bookin’ them too.”
Em sank into the chair in front of his desk. “Booking? You’re going to book me? I’m innocent.”
“Hilton security says you broke into some guy’s room and were caught in the act of rifling through his stuff.”
“I did not break in. I was invited.”
“To steal stuff?”
“I didn’t steal anything. I was pillaging. Plundering. That’s what self-respecting pirates do.” She started to smile. A hiccup slipped out.
“You t’ink dis is funny?” He leaned back in his chair. He definitely didn’t think so. Em tried to sober up. “I was searching for my uncle Louie’s stolen notebook.”
“The missing recipe book again,” he sighed.
“I think Lamar dePesto took it.”
“De Presto? What is he? A magician or something?”
“DePesto. Like the sauce. He’s the founder of the Shake Off cocktail competition.”
“Really.”
“He’s won the contest the last eight or nine years. He even admitted to me that he’d do anything to win.” Rum and tequila were having a tug of war with her brain cells. For a second she saw two Chuns.
“When was the last time you arrested a pirate?” She leaned her elbows on the desk and propped her chin in her hands. Her hat slid off her lap and onto the floor.
Chin wasn’t smiling. “Actually, when they were filming the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie here. How about you go on with the story, eh?”
“Earlier today my uncle received an extortion letter asking for one hundred thousand dollars for the Booze Bible.”
“So how come you didn’t call the police?”
“The letter said not to or else. Besides, you thought our case would be a waste of the HPD’s time.”
“So you decided to get caught ransacking some guy’s room looking for it yourself.”
“I didn’t ransack anything. I was just looking.”
“Speaking of looking, you look better as a blonde.” He stared at her wig for a minute before he turned his attention to her face again. “So did you find anything incriminating?”
She nodded yes and immediately wished she hadn’t moved her head so fast.
“There was a letter on his desk just like the one my uncle received. Only the letter in dePesto’s room asked for twenty-five thousand for a measly copy of the Booze Bible.”
“So he’s not the guy.”
“But he could be. Maybe he’s the one who sent us the letter. He has laptop and a portable printer hooked up on his desk. Maybe he plans to sell copies of the book to anyone who will pony up twenty-five thousand.”
“Kinda steep for a recipe book, yeah?”
“Maybe not to someone who knows what it’s worth.”
“But you didn’t find the book,” he said.
“I didn’t have time to conduct a thorough search before he walked in and caught me going through his things.”
“What did he say about the letter? You ask him about it?”
“Of course. He said he didn’t know where it came from. Says he received it this afternoon, just like we did,” she said.
Chun sighed.
Em sighed too. “You believe me, don’t you?”
“I’m probably pupule, but I believe you. I just don’t know what to do with you.”
“How about you call me a cab, and I’ll go back to the Hilton and never plunder or pillage anywhere ever again?”
“It’s not that simple. You were caught rifling through a man’s room without permission, which is a lot like an act of burglary. How’s it gonna look if I let you go?”
“Like I’m innocent. Which I am.”
“That’s what everybody out in the waiting room is gonna tell me, too. Only innocent people on this island.”
“He invited me in for a drink,” she said.
“An’ you obviously had a couple.”
She held up her index finger and waved it at him. “I only one shot of tequila while I was there. O-n-e. I’ll admit I had some grog at the pirate party.”
“Which explains the outfit,” he said.
She looked down at her blouse and tried yanking up the plunging neckline but gave up after a couple of tries.
“I was working undercover.” She shrugged. “This is a disguise.”
“Did you meet this dePresto before the party?”
“No. But he may have seen me standing around with Louie, but my uncle didn’t even recognize me.”
“Did he know your uncle’s book was missing?”
“Not unless he stole it. We haven’t spread the word around.”
“Well, unfortunately, Ms. Johnson, you got caught in the act of rifling through his stuff.” Chun drummed his thick fingers on the desk.
“Don’t I get one phone call?” She’d already decided she couldn’t call and upset Uncle Louie. Kiki and the Maidens were out of the question. There was only one person on Oahu she could rely on right now.
“Hold on a minute.” Chun got up and walked out of the room. When he came back he handed her the shopping bag with her purse inside. “Okay, make a call.”
“And say what?” She pulled out her purse and dug around for her phone.
“That you need to be picked up. I’m going to let you go on your own recognizance and whoever picks you up, be sure it’s someone responsible. I want your word that you’ll stop looking for the damn recipe book.”
“Booze Bible.”
“Whatevah. Go down to the main precinct and talk to a real detective. Maybe you can identify whoever dropped off the letter on the hotel’s video surveillance of the lobby area.”
What was she? A hamster on a wheel? She was back to the video playback.
“I tried that. Their system is out.”
“Okay, so time to phone a friend,” he said.
She looked down at the small lauhala bag she used on Kauai. Sophie had found it at the Humane Society Thrift Shop and got it for her. It was so familiar, so not Pussy in Boots, she got tears in her eyes.
22
EM’S CELL PHONE jolted her out of a stupor the next morning. For a second she had no idea where she was, then realized she was in bed at the Hilton. She rolled over and fumbled around, patting the carpet until she found her phone on the floor.
She glanced at the caller ID and groaned. Not only was it six forty in the morning, but the caller was Roland.
She cleared her throat and tried to sound lucid. “Detective.” Her voice sounded like she’d smoked a boatload of cigarettes.
“Hi.” Roland was a man of few words. Any other time it would have been so good to hear his voice. After last night’s caper, she was afraid she was going to burst into tears. But she was made of sterner stuff.
“Hi yourself.”
“Howzit?” he said.
“Okay. Not great.”
Suddenly she wanted to dump on him, tell him how much she wished she’d stayed on Kauai. Then again, how would Louie have coped without her?
Just then there was a knock on the door of the suite.
“Hang on a sec.” Em swung her feet over the side of the bed and wondered if her legs would hold her. Her knees shook harder than a Tahitian dancer’s hips. With her phone pressed to her ear she exited her bedroom and walked to the door in the living room/kitchen area of the suite. Naturally the peephole was an inch too high for her to peer through.
“Who is it?” She spoke as loud as she dared without waking Louie in the other room. She pictured a gaggle of Hula Maidens in the hallway. She hadn’t laid eyes on them since they left the hotel to go bar hopping with the Kamakanis. Hopefully they’d made it back and were sleeping it off their rooms.
“It’s me,” Roland said.
“Somebody just knocked on the door,” she said into the phone. The Taiko drummers were back.
“It’s me,” he said again.
“No, really, somebody just—”
He cut her off. “I’m outside. Open the door, Em.”
She flipped the lock but left the safety guard on and cracked the door far enough to peek out. Sure enough, there he was.
“Roland?”
He still had his phone against his ear, too. “Yeah?”
She shook her head and ended the call. She whispered, “You’re nuts. What are you doing here?”
He glanced over his shoulder. “You gonna make me stand out here? Somebody might call security.” He was holding a small duffle bag.
She shushed him and started to open the door until she realized she was still in torn fishnet stockings. Somehow she’d changed into a long black Tiki Goddess tank top that hit her mid-thigh. She had no idea when or how she got it on.
“I’m not dressed.”
“You have on a T-shirt,” he noticed. “Probably covers more than your swimsuit.”
She shoved her hair back out of her eyes and pulled out a hair pin. He walked in and looked around. “Where’s your uncle?”
“Shh. He’s in his room asleep.” She motioned for him to follow as she tiptoed back to her bedroom. She closed the door behind them.
“I thought it would be harder than this,” he said.
“What?”
“Getting into your bedroom.” His gaze swept the space carefully.
She followed his gaze and wanted to crawl back under the covers and hide. The fluffy black crinoline adorned the lampshade on a bedside table lamp. Her peasant blouse and skirt were on the floor, and the leather bodice was draped over the television. One of her boots was spread out across the dresser, the other nowhere to be seen.
The room looked bad enough. Panicked, Em walked over to the mirror over the dresser and almost screamed. Her hair was matted and shoved off to one side of her head. Crimson lipstick smeared not only her lips but her chin. The kohl liner around her eyes made her look like a panda. Her skin was as pale yellow as macaroni-potato salad. She swallowed a gag.
“Excuse me a minute.” She didn’t wait for a response. She fled into her bathroom.
Em closed the door, downed three glasses of water as fast as she could, and then held her breath. The water stayed down. She wet a washcloth and scrubbed off the lipstick until she was afraid she was peeling off skin. Her chin was still pink. She grabbed some eye cream and erased the panda rings. Then she brushed her teeth and drank another glass of water.
When she walked back into the bedroom Roland was leaning against the desk, staring at the bed.
“Did you get a pet?”
“No, why?”
He pointed at something black and hairy that was curled up on her pillow. Em stared at it a second then shrugged.
“That’s my wig.”
“And this?” He held out his hand. The black mask dangled from his finger.
“I went to a costume party. What are you doing here, Roland?”
“Nat called me. Said you needed help.”
“Nat? He did?” Officer Chun had been impressed when Nat Clark walked in to vouch for her, and Em had introduced him as the creator and head writer of the latest major network cop show being filmed in Hawaii.
“Hey, put my name in for a cop part,” Chun had said. “I worked an episode of Hawaii Five-0 a couple weeks ago. They used a bunch of real cops in an officer’s funeral scene.”
Nat took Chun’s name and number and promised to keep Em out of trouble before he hustled her out of the station.
Roland tossed the mask on the bed and studied Em carefully. “Nat didn’t say what kind of trouble you were in, but looking at you and the condition of this room, I’d say things are a lot worse than he let on.”
“You flew over just because I needed help? What if all I wanted were directions to Pearl Harbor?”
“Nat sounded like it was a lot more than that. Obviously it was something he couldn’t handle.”
“He’s flying to LA today.”
“Looking at this room I’d say you need an intervention. Are you working Kalakaua now?”
“I’m sorry he bothered you, and I’m really sorry he didn’t explain. It’s nothing Louie and I can’t handle.”
“He didn’t have a chance to tell me, actually. When he said you needed help, I said okay and hung up.”
“But what about work?”
“I had some vacation time coming. Changed my shifts around. Got a flight out on a medical emergency flight headed over at four thirty this morning. Here I am.”
“Wow.”
“Only one problem, though.” He set his backpack on the floor. “I couldn’t get a room.”
Em crossed her arms over her breasts.
“In all of Waikiki? Not one room?”
He arched his brow. “Not here anyway. I didn’t waste time with the rest of Waikiki.”
“There are thirty-five hundred rooms here.”
“I was in a hurry.” He shrugged. “Just say thanks.”
“Thanks, of course.”
A loud crash came from the direction of Louie’s room. Roland’s hand automatically went to his hip, but he wasn’t carrying a gun.
“It’s all right. That’s just the monkey,” she said.
“The monkey?”
“Yeah. Someone thought it would be the answer to our problem. It’s locked in Louie’s bathroom.”
“If a monkey is the answer to your problem, why am I here?”
“I have no idea.” She finally smiled. “But I’m sure happy to see you.”
23
BY THE TIME EM showered and dressed, Roland was sitting on the balcony overlooking the beach, sipping coffee he’d prepared in their efficiency kitchen.
Self-conscious, she smoothed her hair back and smiled.
“The lua in my room is
free,” she said. “No sense risking a run-in with the monkey.”
“I’m good.” Roland walked over to the kitchen and poured a second cup of coffee and handed it to her. “Looks like you need this,” he said.
“Still that bad?” She glanced at her reflection in a mirror near the bar counter.
He moved closer. “You still look tired.”
“I thought this was going to be a relaxing getaway,” she mumbled. “I’m more worried about Louie than I am tired.”
“Fat chance of relaxing with the Maidens along.”
When they heard Louie stirring, Roland headed back to the kitchen counter to pick up his coffee cup.
Em said, “I’ll call room service. Would you like a full breakfast, or I can order a continental breakfast basket we can share?”
“Continental is fine.”
Louie appeared in the doorway.
“Hi, Roland.” Louie said it as casually as if he woke up to find Roland around every morning and seeing him here on Oahu was no different. He nodded to Em. “Continental basket sounds good to me, too. Be sure to order some bananas. A lot of bananas.”
“For the monkey,” Roland said.
“You got it.” Louie nodded. He scratched his head, yawned, and headed for Em’s bathroom. “Last night he ate my tube of toothpaste. I’ll have to borrow yours.”
Louie disappeared into her bathroom. While they waited for room service, Em filled Roland in on almost everything that had happened except her foray into snooping through dePesto’s room and near arrest. She showed him the ransom note.
“So someone really did steal the notebook, and they’re holding it hostage,” she said.
Roland studied the page and the envelope. “When was this delivered?”
“I’m not sure. The front desk called us early yesterday afternoon. It could have been sitting there for hours.”
“You notified hotel security?”
She nodded. “We did. We spoke to a security officer named Kim when the Booze Bible went missing. He said he’d check the video camera in the hall.”