Maud

by Melanie Fishbane

  “Mary Ann—”

  “No, Hugh. I’ve had all I can tolerate from this girl.”

  Father rubbed his hands through his hair.

  Maud’s whole body, weakened from her recent illness, was shaking like a birch tree in a winter storm. This must be what true wrath and indignation felt like.

  “I don’t think I can live here anymore, Father,” Maud said. Even as her body shook, her voice was solid and sure. “I’ll write to Grandma and see if she would be willing to take me back.”

  “Maud…I…” He gazed down at his hands, lying open upon his knees, as if in surrender. “Perhaps that would be best.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  The next day was miserable. Father spent the whole day working on his auctioneer business and Mrs. Montgomery locked herself in her room. But that evening, Maud escaped and asked Laura and Will to walk along River Street. When she told them what had happened and that she would be leaving Laura burst into tears and Will mumbled something Maud couldn’t quite make out and he ran toward the river.

  “I don’t know when I’ll be going. It all depends upon Grandma and Grandfather Macneill.” She paused. “What they’ll say. If…if they’ll take me back.”

  Laura hugged Maud tightly and kissed her on the cheek. “They love you,” she said. “I’m sure after you told them—”

  “Maybe.” It felt right to have her head on her bosom friend’s shoulder, listening to the quiet breaking of the ice. How had it all gone so wrong?

  After a few moments, Laura and Maud broke apart. Drying her eyes, her friend said, “We have you right now, so we are going to make the most of it and spend as much time together as possible.”

  Maud smiled. Laura always knew the perfect thing to say.

  But as the two friends gazed out into the mirrored reflection of the prairie twilight, watching Will walk along the river, Maud couldn’t help but notice how the crimson light accentuated Will’s auburn hair. He definitely had a way about him that intrigued and intimidated her. That made her want to know him better. That made her want to march over to him and run her hands through his auburn hair.

  “I think Will allowed himself to get too close to you,” Laura said after a while. “Now you are leaving with no clue when—or if—you’ll return.”

  “You could come and visit me…” But even as Maud said this, she realized the possibility would be as remote as Mrs. Montgomery’s acceptance.

  Laura echoed her thoughts. “All we have is now. Until Providence shows us otherwise.” A stray piece of Laura’s hair stuck out under her hat and fluttered in the wind.

  “I’ll miss you.” Maud hugged her, again, enjoying the comfort of her friend’s touch. “The idea of not seeing you every day makes my heart ache.”

  They stayed that way for a long time. Holding one another as Will stood apart, deep in his own thoughts.

  “I’ve done it again,” Maud said when they pulled apart and held hands.

  “Done what?”

  Maud didn’t answer. She hadn’t the strength right now to talk about Nate—bringing him up wasn’t right for the here and now. He was the boy of the past, a sorrow she could not undo. But here she had the opportunity to do things differently. Will wasn’t Nate. Will was…Will. He had kept Mr. Mustard away during school, putting himself at the risk of the whip, and had done more for her than—even if she didn’t want to admit it—her own father had.

  As if hearing her thoughts, Will came slowly back to her. Laura let go of her hand and walked ahead; like the pieces of breaking ice on the river, the siblings changed places.

  Maud felt the soft wind wash away the orange in the sky, along with whatever reservations either of them had. For a moment it was as though she was standing on the bluffs of Cavendish Shore, with Will breathing beside her.

  Will took Maud’s hand. It happened so swiftly; if she’d had a second to think about it, she might have pulled away in fear. His hands were cool from the spring air and slightly coarse from fieldwork.

  He whispered, “If I’m going to have the pleasure of your company for only a few more months, then I’ll be darned if I’m going to let this hand out of my sight.”

  Her breath caught the wind.

  “Maud, will you go riding with me this Saturday?”

  The setting sun sparkled against the ice as she turned to face him. Once again she had to stop herself from running her hand through his auburn hair. “If I can get away,” she managed to say, “and Father can spare me.”

  And when the twilight rose from the sun’s final bow, Laura came back to them and took Maud’s other hand and the three swayed with the river in silence.

  —

  That Saturday, much to Mrs. Montgomery’s dismay, Father gave Maud permission to go driving with Will. While Maud knew Grandma would never have allowed her to go out with a young man unchaperoned, after all of those nights alone with Mr. Mustard, there was little for her father to say against it. Plus, the Pritchards were a respected family in the community.

  Will picked Maud up after dinner wearing a freshly pressed, blue button-down shirt (which accentuated his auburn hair), brown pants, his spring coat, and Sunday hat. Maud had put on her favorite brown-and-red tartan summer skirt and white waist with lace collar. She completed the look with a light brown hat she accentuated with some prairie flowers. His buggy was pulled by a new horse named Plato with a lush, dark mane and a skittish attitude.

  “Where shall we go?” Will asked, clicking the reins.

  Maud pondered the road ahead. “Must we have a destination?”

  Will grinned. “I have an idea.” They drove by the river toward Goschen, the Hudson’s Bay trading post east of town. When they got past it, Will handed Maud the reins.

  “I’ve never driven before.”

  Will smirked. “I’m surprised that would stop you.”

  She took them and held on tightly. It felt powerful and scary to have her life essentially in this horse’s hands. One false move and she could drive them into a slough.

  “It is a balance.” Will held his hands over hers, and she loosened her grip. “Let the horse lead you, but you need to also be in control.”

  “Easy enough,” she muttered, and was a bit sorry when Will let go. Still, she enjoyed driving, and after a while found herself allowing the horse to take them down the road.

  It was a beautiful day: the sky was a crisp blue, and the poplars swayed in the gentle breeze. They turned up a road toward Maiden Lake, a park four miles away from Prince Albert.

  “When the weather gets warmer, there are some nice trails to walk,” Will said, pointing in the direction of the park. “And last year there were a number of picnics, so perhaps we’ll have more.”

  Would she still be in Prince Albert to have a picnic? “Sounds lovely.”

  They rode south toward the park in silence.

  “It is difficult to talk and drive,” Maud said at one point, thinking she wasn’t being a good companion.

  “It will get easier,” Will said. “Once you trust yourself. And Plato.”

  But Maud gave Will the reins. “If you don’t mind, I would rather watch this view as we talk. We were always told on the Island that the prairies were so flat, but not here. There are such handsome bluffs and hills.”

  “It is pretty, isn’t it?” he said, and she was sure he was looking at her. They passed a few more trees. “I don’t know if I should ask you this, if it is prying, but I wondered how things were with your father.”

  “They are what they are,” she said.

  “You wish to remain mysterious?”

  Did she? In some ways, she didn’t want to keep anything from this young man. But that would also mean no longer keeping things from herself.

  “A few years ago, about four I suppose, I was staying at my Grandpa Montgomery’s home in Park Corner and I overhead my uncles talking about Father.” Will’s eyes remained on her, as if encouraging her to go on. “Why am I telling you this?”

  “We’
re friends.” Will said. “And you can trust me.”

  She knew that to be true. “Father traveled for a number of years, and I always believed he would come for me, but my uncles said that Father was irresponsible.” She remembered how she had wanted to march into the dining room and defend her father, but remained hidden in the kitchen. “I think that’s why Grandpa Montgomery was so pleased to see him follow in his footsteps in politics. But now that he’s lost the election, things aren’t quite the same…” She let her voice trail off.

  “We are taught to honor our parents,” Will said. “It isn’t always easy.”

  “Your father?”

  He nodded. “I actually got it into my head to ask him about going to medical school, and you know what he told me?”

  Maud could imagine, but she shook her head.

  “He said that there was no money for the extravagance, that my duty was to him and Laurel Hill.” Maud had a sudden urge to take his hand, but she clenched her knees instead.

  “I’m so sorry, Will.”

  He shrugged. “At least I can work with horses, like Plato here. See, he’s done well today.” He clicked the reins. “I hope we can take him out again sometime.”

  “I would enjoy that very much.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  While Maud waited to hear back from Cavendish and continued to help Mrs. Montgomery, taking care of her siblings and doing her chores, she also planned to make the rest of her time in Prince Albert mean something—something that Mrs. Montgomery could complain about.

  Maud continued to go to the Reverend and Mrs. Rochester’s bi-weekly Bible Study at the manse and teach Sunday School. Being with Will and Laura was such a welcome contrast to the thick tension of Eglintoune Villa and Mr. Mustard’s persistent visits. And more than once, Will took Maud (and sometimes Laura) out with Plato on Sunday afternoons after church. Maud couldn’t wait for those evenings where she could safely escape and enjoy a reprieve from the continual crying and shouting.

  Father and Mrs. Montgomery didn’t go out as much as they had before. The other night, Maud overheard Mrs. Montgomery say she wished she’d known the truth about Father; she never would have married him, she said, and gotten herself stuck in this “godforsaken town.” Even though Maud herself was disappointed in her father, she couldn’t help but bristle at her stepmother’s words. Couldn’t she see that Father was trying so hard, looking for work and focusing more of his attention on the auction business? None of it was good enough for her.

  Maud, Laura, and Will made the most of the spring that turned the prairie from brown to green. Sometimes Andrew joined them. One Saturday, the four of them walked along the river toward Goschen, as far as Strachan’s photo gallery. Will and Maud were admiring the photos while Laura and Andrew walked down to the river.

  “You should get your photo taken before you go,” Will whispered.

  “That would be rather extravagant,” Maud said. “I doubt my father would pay for it.”

  Their faces mirrored in the glass reminded Maud of a portrait of her grandparents hanging at home, and she was suddenly desperately sad that she and Will would never have one taken together.

  “Would you get one taken?” she said. “For me?”

  In the window’s reflection, Will said, “When I’ve saved enough money, it will be the first thing I do.” He grazed his pinky against the palm of her hand and the intensity of his words, his touch, his stare was too much. She turned toward the river.

  Laura and Andrew were deep in conversation.

  “Maud?”

  She slowly turned to face him. “The next picture I take is for you.”

  When Laura and Andrew returned, the four walked back to the Kennedys’, where Andrew said goodbye, as he had to help his father at the store.

  Maud took in the amber sun diving into fire over the prairie. It had been a perfect afternoon.

  Gazing up at the sky, she was suddenly overcome with the desire to count nine stars. But she let it go. That belonged in the past, with another girl. She realized how many different types of girls she was, how many different types of girls she could be.

  Laura and Maud rested on the Kennedys’ top porch step while Will sat down close behind them, leaning against the side banister.

  “Don’t you need to get back?” Maud asked. Will had finally returned to living on the farm in order to help his father with Courtney, the family’s newest horse.

  “It’s not yet nine o’clock,” Will said. “I have a bit of time.”

  “I wish you could come and stay at Laurel Hill,” Laura said.

  “I’d love to come and see Laurel Hill.” Maud leaned on Laura. “Hopefully Mrs. Montgomery won’t cause trouble.”

  “I’ve got plans for us to go riding,” Will said. Maud rested her head on Laura’s shoulder, keenly aware of Will’s breathing behind her. She stretched her arm out to the side, lightly grazing the porch with her right hand. The air smelled of prairie flowers.

  “When you come to the farm, we’ll take Courtney out and dress up as though we are placing a real house call,” Laura said. “Won’t that be fun, Maud?”

  The tips of Will’s fingers gently touched Maud’s right hand. “Yes,” she said, not sure if she was agreeing with Laura or allowing Will to take her hand, but she didn’t argue when he caressed his index finger across each of hers.

  “I don’t know if Courtney is ready for you ladies.” Will’s breath whispered against Maud’s ear.

  She closed her eyes.

  “Well, I say by the time Maud comes—and you will come—she’ll be ready.”

  Maud heard Aunt Kennedy puttering around in the kitchen. Will didn’t stop. The idea that their aunt could catch Will sitting so close to her thrilled Maud more than she dared to admit.

  Will’s finger fell upon her index finger, the one where she wore the ring Aunt Annie had given her.

  “And we’ll pick wild strawberries and lie in the grass all afternoon,” Laura said.

  And with his index finger and thumb, Will quickly drew the ring off Maud’s finger.

  Practically knocking Laura over, Maud stood up and tried grabbing the ring back from him. “What are you doing?” she demanded, hands on her hips, trying not to break into a smile.

  Will placed her ring on his pinky—it was snug but it fit—and chuckled. “I was admiring it.”

  Her finger felt naked after wearing it for so many years.

  “Will, don’t tease,” Laura said, looking a bit annoyed that their moment of dreaming had been interrupted.

  Maud knew she should be angry. She should be furious. But she wasn’t.

  “How long do you wish to admire it?” Maud said.

  “That depends”—Will brought the gold ring right up close—“on you.”

  Maud went to grab his hand, and he flung it out of the way.

  Aunt Kennedy called from the house. “Laura, time to come inside.”

  “Coming,” Laura said.

  “Will, you too,” Aunt Kennedy said. “Say good night before you drive back to the farm. I don’t like the idea of you traipsing alone in the dark.”

  “Yes, Aunt Kennedy,” Will said. “I promise, after I make sure Maud gets home safe.”

  There was a pause and shuffling from the house. “Very well. But be quick!”

  “I won’t be long,” he said to Laura.

  “I doubt that,” she muttered, and then hugged and kissed Maud. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Taking Maud’s arm, Will led her the ten steps or so between the houses. Pausing at the gate, he stood in front of her. The sunset’s glow washed against Father’s gate.

  “I wish we were a little older and settled. Maybe then things would be different.”

  “It is a nice dream,” Maud said, knowing, deep down, that her future involved education and writing, something altogether different than what Will was imagining. But she loved his version too. Why wasn’t there a way she could have both?

  “I’ve been thinking,
” he began, then broke off. He smiled sadly and took both her hands, tracing her palm with his index finger; she shivered in the warm air and stared at the golden earth. “How much I’ve enjoyed our drives together and how much I loathe them to end.”

  She loved the feeling of their hands together, the poet and the farmer.

  “We can’t do anything about that right now,” she said.

  “That’s true,” he said. “So I will have to keep you…close.”

  “You must promise me something first,” she said.

  “Anything.” His hand caressed her chin, lifting her face up.

  She almost couldn’t speak. He was so beautiful. She took his hand away from her face, but didn’t let it go. “I’ve told you about Nate.”

  She expected his expression to darken, as it had when she’d mentioned the cipher, but all Will did was silently watch her.

  “We were friends, and things—well—fell apart, and they’ve never been the same,” she said. “I believed I loved him, but I think it was that I was so happy to have someone love me, I dreamed myself into believing it.”

  “And with me?” He stepped forward.

  “With you.” She swallowed. “With you, everything is different.”

  “Maud…I…”

  She took a deep breath. “Promise me we’ll never despise each other.”

  “I could never despise you, Maud.”

  “Promise me.”

  “I promise that I will never despise you. Besides”—he smiled—“I don’t think my sister would allow it.”

  She giggled.

  “I think I’m going to need to inspect this ring a little more,” he said, raising his finger.

  Maud couldn’t look away from the ring—her ring!—around his finger. “Again, I ask: How long do you expect to need it?”

  He leaned in. “As long as you’ll let me.”

  It was different from kissing Nate. Will’s kisses were tender, but more confident. He kissed her once, softly, and then again and again. She leaned into him, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. She shivered. It scared her, but being here with him was like coming home, and she allowed him to kiss her neck, her cheek, her throat, her lips.