Wanting You

by Ryan Michele

  “So?” Saw asked, folding her hands together and laying them in front of her on the table.

  “So what?”

  “How was he?” I rolled my eyes, not wanting to relive how utterly amazing it was being with him or how it was the best orgasm of my life.

  “Let’s not.”

  “Come on. I know it ended shitty, but how was it before that?” Thinking back to Deke’s desk, my blood began to heat up and not from anger. The sexy way his fingers grazed my skin lighting every nerve as he went.

  “He’s good.” Lame.

  “Good. Spill it. Was it better than your first?”

  I stared at her as if she grew two heads. “God, yes.” Pausing, I tried to collect my thoughts. “He’s grown up, Saw, and has probably been with lots of women. He knows exactly what to do to make a woman happy.”

  “Did you scream?” Her question caught me off guard.

  “What is up with you Sawyer?” I eyed her wearily … she had never been the one to need details from my sexual experiences. That would be Kinsley.

  Blowing out a deep breath, she said, “I’m just living vicariously through you. It’s been a long time.”

  “How long?”

  Sawyer entangled her fingers and began to stare at them. “Years,” she said softly.

  “Really?” I couldn’t help my shock. Sawyer was one smokin’ hot chick. I would think she could get it whenever she wanted.

  “Don’t sound so shocked. It’s not like I became a nun or anything,” she said, smiling.

  “You holding out for someone?” I winked.

  “Shut it. No.” But the smirk playing on her lips told me I nailed it.

  “Mmmhhmm … Z, huh?”

  Before she could answer, the waitress appeared with our food, setting it before us. “Look, Saw. What happened with Deke can’t happen again.”

  “Why?”

  “Why do you think?”

  “You still love him?”

  “I don’t know if I love him or the him he used to be. My judgment’s a bit whack.”

  “It’s always hard to forget your first.”

  “It’s not just that. I’ve compared every guy I’ve dated to him. I know that’s shitty, but not one matched up.” We sat there in silence, eating, while Sawyer was apparently trying to figure out what to say. I didn’t think anything could help fix this situation.

  Hearing the overhead bell on the door chime, both Sawyer and I looked up. Walking in was a beautiful little girl wearing the most adorable pink and white flowered dress. Her blonde hair hung below her shoulders and was held up a headband with a bow on it.

  As she looked up, I followed her gaze. Gasping loud enough for everyone in the damn town to hear me, I immediately brought my hands to cover my mouth, embarrassed.

  He must have heard me because the same blue eyes I look at in the mirror every morning found mine. I felt stuck in a trance, unable to look away from him, and he seemed to be the same.

  “Holy shit,” Sawyer muttered.

  I heard Sawyer, but couldn’t move. Whether frozen from fear, anger, nervousness, I didn’t know. My dad stood at the door, and I so badly wanted to know what was going through his head. Was he happy to see me, pissed … did he hate me because Mom made me leave?

  He looked almost the same, except his hair had a dusting of gray forming around his ears while the rest remained a darker blond. His face still held its strong jawline, and he was just as handsome as he was when I was little.

  As the little girl pulled on his arm, he broke eye contact with me and looked down, smiling at her. I knew that exact smile she was receiving, as I was once on her end of it.

  My eyes stayed glued to the two, not even blinking. Of the scenarios I played out in my head of seeing Dad again, me being stunned and speechless was not one of them. I had role played it many times in my mirror—yelling, cussing, and condemning him to hell. But nothing would come out.

  Dad whispered something into the little girl’s ear, and they began walking over to my table. The surge of anger that I thought would be there at seeing him again was nowhere to be found.

  “Hi Savannah.” His gravelly voice was exactly the same even after all this time.

  I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I gave a little cough. “Hi.”

  “How are you?” He actually sounded sincere.

  “Fine.” I didn’t want to be rude, but the awkwardness was sparking my anxiety.

  “You sure are beautiful.”

  “Thanks.” I almost called him Dad, but didn’t know if I should, fearing my sister had no clue I existed.

  “Savannah, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Dad pulled the little girl gently in front of him. “This is Sydney, your sister.” I couldn’t hold back the gasp or the feeling of panic that rushed through my body. I’d never heard the words ‘your sister’ from him before, and all of the sudden it seemed too real.

  Having Grams tell me about Sydney was one thing. Sydney could have been on TV for all I knew. I never saw her or even pictures of her; it was just a name. But hearing the words out of Dad’s mouth was a sucker punch.

  Blinking back tears quickly, I looked at Sydney. She was unbelievably adorable and had Dad’s and my eyes.

  “Hi Sydney. I’m Vann.”

  “Vann? Daddy said your name is Savannah.” Sydney’s voice was incredibly soft and small.

  “It is, but I go by Vann. You can call me either.”

  “I like Vann.”

  “Okay.”

  “Daddy told me that you lived … by the beach.” Her words stopped me. Had Dad told her about me? He must have.

  “I did. But I’ve moved back.”

  “Good. Will you take me for ice cream?”

  My eyes widened. “Hmm. Sure.” Looking up at my dad, I asked, “You told her about me?”

  “Of course I did.” Staring at my dad, I didn’t know what to say. After Mom and I left, I hated him with every fiber of my being … and still did. He held most of the blame for what happened. If he hadn’t cheated on mom, none of this would have happened.

  Dad sighed. “Look Savannah. I’d love to talk to you, get all this out there so we can move past it. I love you and miss my baby.” He paused. “Will you come to dinner tomorrow night?”

  With my head spinning, I thought I may pass out, but I knew what I had to do. And then looking into the blue eyes of Sydney confirmed it.

  “Yeah. I’ll come.” I saw Sawyer out of the corner of my eye. Her eyes grew large as if I had a horn sprouting out of my head.

  “Great.” Dad pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. “Here is our address. Be there at five?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’m so happy you’re coming.” A very genuine smile came from Dad’s lips.

  “Me too,” Sydney’s small voice chimed in. “I can show you all my Barbies!”

  My eyes went back to Sydney to see her smiling, too. “I’d love to see them.”

  “Bye, and we’ll see you tomorrow.” With those parting words from dad and a couple of waves, they took off.

  “You’re going to see him?” Saw questioned.

  “Yes. It’s time. Can we get out of here? You were promised shopping.” I needed to get out of this room. It felt as if it was enclosing on me quickly.

  Sawyer smiled. “Sure, let’s go. But we will talk about this.”

  “Of course.”

  Shopping with Sawyer was so much different nowadays. Before, I didn’t have two dimes to rub together, but now, I could buy what I wanted. And even buy Sawyer a few things.

  “Try it on!” Sawyer exclaimed when she picked up a stunning bright blue tube dress. It would be perfect for about anything, but after being Sawyer’s puppet for the past three hours, I was beat.

  “Nah. I’m ready to head out.” I waved my hand toward the door.

  “Come on … one more. Please?” Sawyer gave me her beautiful puppy dog eyes, and I had no choice but to cave. “I’ll wait out here.”


  Feeling defeated, I gave in. “Fine.” Heading down the long hallway to the back dressing room, I held the dress up to my body. Looking down, it hit right above the knee and would show off my legs.

  Suddenly a hand was latched against my mouth, muffling my attempt to cry out. Dropping the dress, I tried to claw at the hands trapping me. I assumed from the bulk it was a man, but wasn’t completely certain.

  The person restrained my arms behind me using one hand, while the other was kept around my mouth. I tried biting, but came up unsuccessful. My kicks were all aimed for the jewels, assuming this person had them, but my legs didn’t make contact.

  I was being dragged farther into the dressing room toward the back, still fighting and trying to scream. Then the voice came … “Stop. You want that pretty little thing out there to be hurt?” I shook my head no and stopped screaming. “Good. I just want to talk. So stop fighting and listen.” The voice was one I hadn’t heard before … or at least I didn’t think so.

  Pulling me to the dark corner of the back room, I searched my surroundings, trying to find someone to help me, but there was no one. I didn’t believe this person was here to ‘talk’. Not for one second. And not after the letters I’d gotten over the years.

  “How ya doing, Gabriella?” a low voice said. My entire body stilled at his words. He knew my pen name. I should have known he’d find me. Shit.

  “Can’t talk … oh right. My hand. Well, I’m not moving it. When you didn’t show up after my letter, I wasn’t happy. So we need to do it this way.” Letter? What the hell was this guy talking about? And why did he smell of fried chicken? Gross.

  “I want you to come away with me … and since you won’t do it on your own, I’m gonna help you out. You know I had to track your ass from California to here and it wasn’t easy. But you have to know that you are mine. Will always be mine. Now we are going to disappear so I can help you live out all your sexy fantasies.”

  My stomach coiled. My legs began flailing, my arms grabbing at anything I could reach. A thought came to mind and I figured I had nothing to lose. I pulled my head as far forward as I could muster and whipped it back as hard as I could. I somehow made contact with his nose, which I only knew from the spots of red blowing across my face.

  The man instantly released me. “You bitch!” he yelled. I ran—I could hear my shoes stomping on the floor underneath me. The once beautiful blue dress I was going to try on was laying crumpled on the floor.

  Bursting through the hallway, I ran into Saw’s arms. “We have to get out of here now.” I pulled her arm hard, yanking her out of the store.

  “Vann, what is going on?”

  “He’s here. He tried to take me.” My entire body was shaking uncontrollably, but I was able to keep my feet moving. “Unlock the door.”

  Sawyer hit the key fob and we climbed in. I immediately locked the doors. “Drive,” I ordered.

  “Vann, what happened? You’re covered in blood. Are you okay?” Sawyer’s panic was evident.

  “Call Z for me.”

  Sawyer dialed the phone, beginning a one-way conversation with him that I was trying desperately to follow, but the panic in my body was not subsiding.

  “Z, its Sawyer. Listen someone tried to grab Vann.”

  “At Roni’s.”

  “She has blood on her, but she’s not saying much.”

  “I don’t know if he’s there … hang on.”

  Sawyer looked over at me. “Was he still there?”

  “Yes,” was all I could muster.

  “She says yes … okay … Vann, are you hurt?”

  “No.”

  “Where’d the blood come from?”

  “His nose.”

  Sawyer smiled at me, but I couldn’t return it, my body not wanting to do anything at the moment. I heard Sawyer repeat it to Z. “Yeah. I’m taking her home. All right. I’ll keep her there.”

  Sawyer hung up, tossing her phone in the cup holder. “Z’s heading over to Roni’s, and then he’ll be over. We’re gonna stay at home and lock up tight.”

  I stared out the window, feeling the daze take over my body. I don’t remember the rest of the car ride or climbing into my bed at home.

  “Four, five, six, seven … three more ... come on!” My personal trainer yelled from above me as I did full body curls on the strong bar. I wanted to punch him, but this was what I paid him for. To kick my ass, which was exactly what he had done today.

  My body was on the verge of shutting down, muscles giving up, but I kept pushing. It was the only way to keep in shape.

  “Ignore it,” I barked at Darren, the trainer. My phone had been going off steady for the past twenty minutes, but I didn’t bother with it. I needed to get this workout in.

  “Don’t ya think you should get that? We’re done.” Hopping off the bar, I wiped the sweat from my face. Sweat always meant it was a good workout. Searching through my phone, I had a shit ton of calls from Z. What the hell did he want?

  Heading into the locker room, I dialed Z. “Why you blowing up my phone?” I growled.

  “Vann was almost abducted.”

  “Almost?” The air left my body at his words and fear spiked through me.

  “Yeah. She head-butted the guy. I assume breaking his nose ‘cause of all the blood.” His matter of fact tone had more of an edge to it than normal.

  “Where is she?” I needed to get to her now.

  “Home with Sawyer.”

  “You catch this asshole?” Grabbing my shit as he talked, I hauled ass out of the gym.

  “Nope. He got away, but we have his blood. We’re gonna run it through the system.”

  “I’m heading over to Vann’s.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Bye.” Hanging up with Z, I grabbed my shit and headed to Vann’s.

  She hadn’t been around for days. I’d called repeatedly … and nothing. I’d talked to both Sawyer and Kinsley, but all they’d tell me was she was hanging out and didn’t want to take any calls.

  I got in my truck several times to just head over there, but stopped myself, thinking maybe she needed a bit of space after everything that went down at the bar. I was done with that shit. She would see me.

  Driving to her house, I never told her, but I’d been by several times since finding out she was home. I wanted to stop, but really didn’t know what the hell to say. This time, I knew exactly what to do. I would protect her from this asshole. I’d find out who he was and rip his balls off then feed them to him.

  Pulling into her driveway, Vann’s house looked locked up. The blinds were closed, doors shut, and looked as if no life was going on inside. Good.

  Knocking on the door, I got no answer. “Sawyer, its Deke. Open up.”

  I saw the blind to the side of the door slightly open as eyes peeked through. I stood there waiting. The lock slowly disengaged and the door opened.

  “Where is she?” I asked, entering the house.

  “In her room.”

  “Which is where?”

  “Down the hall, third door on the left.” Sawyer’s voice was shaky.

  “You okay?”

  “Just scared.” Sawyer’s face was ashen, her eyes totally void. “She went in there when we got home. I laid with her for a while, but she never moved. She has her head buried in a pillow.”

  “Lock up, I’m going in.” I’d have to worry about Sawyer later.

  Walking down the hallway, the only shut door was the third on the left. Upon opening it slowly, I found Vann lying on the bed in the exact position Sawyer described. She was clutching her pillow tightly—her body falling up and down slowly.

  Thinking she was asleep, I climbed in bed beside her. I knew I reeked of sweat, but I didn’t give a shit. I pulled her close, her entire body jerking away.

  “It’s okay Vann, it’s me.” Her eyes darted open, staring at me as if to make sure I was real. “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”

  Vann closed her eyes and pressed
into my body, her hands clutching onto my shirt. Her body began shaking, and I could hear her small sobs. Rubbing her hair, I held her as close to me as I could. I kept giving her reassuring words, trying to calm her, but she needed to get it out. And damn if I wasn’t happy to be the one to hold her through it. She said before I wasn’t there for her, so I was damn well gonna be there this time.

  Waking up with a jolt, I gripped onto Vann. She was thrashing around in my arms. “Vann,” I said calmly, trying to wake her up.

  Nothing.

  “Vann.”

  Nothing, but more thrashing.

  “Vann,” I said in a very stern voice, causing her entire body to stop. Her eyes flew open, and she stared at me.

  “Deke,” she whispered.

  “It’s all right.”

  Vann’s grip tightened on me as she pulled my body even closer into hers. She began sobbing into my shirt again. “It’s okay.”

  She pulled away and looked into my eyes. “Okay … okay? Are you serious? It’s not okay. He wants to kidnap me and do … things to me.”

  “I know.”

  “You know what?”

  “I know you’re Gabriella Daniels and you have a stalker … who has apparently followed you to Alabama.”

  She stared at me. “Z told you!” The anger pulsated through Vann as she clenched her fists.

  “He had to.”

  “To hell he had to! I trusted him to keep his mouth shut.” At least her temper was back in full force. It was better than crying. She’d be ready to take action, and even though I did like having her in my arms, I didn’t want her hysterical.

  “Vann, I’m gonna tell you something.” I let out a deep breath. I was gonna get in so much shit for this, but fuck it. “I’m an undercover cop.”

  “No, you’re not. You got kicked off the force. Grams told me all about it, and I Googled it,” Vann seethed.

  “I did get kicked off that force. I then entered a different kind … I find the lowest scum and bring them in.”

  “No, you own a bar,” she argued. I really didn’t think it would be this hard to convince her.