Wanting You

by Ryan Michele

  “Fine. Better she answer them once and tell Kinsley at the same time.” I didn’t want her to have to repeat herself over and over again.

  “You sure you want them to hear everything?” Z asked because most of this revolved around Gabriella.

  “They know all about Gabriella. It’s fine.”

  “You told him about Gabriella, Vann?” Kinsley sounded genuinely shocked.

  “Yep. I did. It’s fine. I know he won’t tell anyone. Let’s get this over with,” Vann said as I led her over to the couch. I sat in the corner with my legs open wide, pulling her in between them. No way in hell I was letting her go when she needed me. She obviously agreed because she didn’t hesitate to fall right between them.

  As I sat and listened to what happened to Vann, my anger was getting harder to control. I felt it radiating through every limb of my body, and I wanted to punch something. I wanted this guy. Who the hell did he think he was?

  The questions went on and on. I learned more than I needed about the ‘gifts’ she’d received.

  “Do you know who Gary is?” Z’s question pulled me from my murderous thoughts.

  “No. I have a Facebook page, and he sent a couple of messages to me through there. I also have an email or two. The cops looked into it, but never found anything.”

  They were obviously stupid. The internet had all sorts of fun ways to track—one very important thing I’d learned in my line of work. “Can I have your username and password?”

  Vann turned around and looked at me, trust in her eyes. “Sure.”

  Damn. How the hell did I open my mouth and spew that shit about getting her out of my system? I didn’t deserve her, but damn if I wasn’t gonna try and be the man she deserved.

  “Wait!” Kinsley’s voice boomed from the kitchen. “Where did this come from?” Coming into the living room with a large manila envelope, she handed it to Z.

  The front of the envelope said Savannah in the same scrawl as the letter. “Gloves,” I barked at Z.

  “No shit,” he growled, pulling out another pair of gloves. “Where did you find this?”

  “It was under some of my magazines on the counter.”

  As Z opened it, Vann’s breathing picked up. I rubbed her back in an attempt to sooth her, but nothing seemed to work.

  “What the hell?” Z gasped.

  Pictures fell out, scattering all over the coffee table. Vann left my arms and moved closer. I wasn’t far behind her. “Don’t touch them,” I warned her.

  “Oh my God.”

  “Breathe, Vann … breathe,” I whispered in her ear.

  “How did he …” Vann’s voice trailed off as she continued to look at the pictures laid out before us.

  Dozens of pictures in full color spread on the table—pictures of her driving, at the bar, in her room, on her laptop, getting out of the shower … masturbating.

  My cock twitched at the site, but I wasn’t a total selfish asshole, and kept that under wraps. It infuriated me that some asshole was seeing her like this.

  “First thing, we get blinds for this entire house and up the security system.” My admiration for Kinsley was growing. The way she protected Vann was commendable. Now I just needed to put in my two cents and hope it didn’t backfire in my face.

  “Vann’s coming to stay with me.”

  Vann turned her head, eyes wide, boring into mine. “No. I’m not.”

  “Yes. Until we find out what the hell is going on. You’re staying with me,” I argued.

  The fire in Vann’s eyes lit. She stood and moved in front of me. “I don’t need your macho caveman bullshit. I’ve been dealing with this for years … without you,” she growled at me.

  Standing, I tried to reel in my temper, but it won. “Damn it, Vann! It’s just a couple of days. What’s the big fucking deal?”

  “The big fucking deal is … I refuse to stay at your house and be your little plaything! I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself!”

  “We already covered that plaything bullshit. Get over it!”

  “Get over it! You want me to get over it? And we haven’t ‘covered’ anything!”

  “Would you stop repeating yourself? And yes, we did!”

  “Over it! I’ve been stuck in this nightmare for five years, come home, and you tell me you want to fuck me out of your system. No fucking way!”

  “Vann, we already talked about this.”

  “I don’t give a shit.”

  “I know you’re hurt and pissed, but calm down.”

  “Calm down, huh? I have some asshole try to kidnap me, writes me letters threatening to do so, there’s even pictures of me masturbating for everyone to see.” She waved her arm to our friends standing in quiet awe of this not-so-little conversation. “And you want me to be calm? Add to that … I saw my dad today for the first time in five years, met my little sister, and you fucked me again!”

  “You wanted that just as much as I did.”

  “Whatever,” she grumbled.

  “You didn’t?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Don’t go throwing shit in my face.” Stomping out of the room, I needed to get some air.

  “You saw your dad today?” Kinsley’s voice was loud enough for me to hear, yet quiet enough to have concern laced in her words.

  Turning, I stared at her. “Yep, and I’m having dinner with his new family tomorrow. The woman he cheated on my mother with and their child … my sister. That should be fun.” My words dripped with sarcasm.

  “Why did you say yes?”

  “I had to, Kins.” My anger began to wane. “He’s my dad, and no matter what he did to mom, I gotta at least hear him out.”

  “Was it weird meeting her?”

  Blowing out a breath, I grabbed Kinsley’s arm and pulled her into the kitchen. I needed some space.

  Climbing up on the bar stool, I patted the one next to me. “It was weird. She knows all about me, and I know nothing of her. I want to be mad at my dad for that … but I know that was entirely my mom’s doing.”

  “Wow. How will it go with the wife? What’s her name again?”

  “Julie. And I don’t know. When I first saw him I couldn’t move. I had it all planned out to yell and scream, but nothing. It will probably be the same with her.”

  “You’ve had a busy day.”

  “Yeah.” My body slumped.

  “What was that with Deke?”

  “He thinks he can just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Not. Gonna. Happen.” My spine stiffened at my words.

  “You know I’m not a fan of his, by any means, but he might be right.”

  I gaped my mouth at her. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No. I’m not. Vann, he obviously cares about you. He has a messed up way of showing it sometimes, but you have history. You’ve trusted him with Gabriella, and when he came here today, you obviously didn’t push him away.”

  “I know,” I said, hanging my head as shame washed over me.

  “Then whatever that was in there … you need to reel it in. We all know you’ve been through a lot, but a guy like Deke can’t be pushed too much.”

  “What, so I’m just supposed to let him take care of me? Where was he when I needed him five years ago?”

  “Where were you?”

  “Shut up,” I said, burying my head in my hands.

  “You see my point. You’ve got some seriously fucked up shit going on here, and you’ve gotta get it worked out. Look, I know you love him. Figure it out.” The silence after those words were spoken was deafening. I jumped out of my seat and rushed to Deke. He didn’t say a word as I walked to him, but I could feel the anger rolling off him in waves.

  Instead of some big speech, I walked up to him and tightly wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  When Deke didn’t reciprocate, I felt the tears begin to fall. Suddenly my bed sounded like a much better place to be. As I started to pull away from him, he wrapped his arms around
me, squeezing me tight.

  My legs gave out, forcing all my weight onto Deke, who scooped me up into his arms, weightlessly, kissing me on the forehead repeatedly. Burrowing my head in his neck, I could feel him walking, but at this point I just didn’t care where we were going … as long as I was with him. As he gripped my body tighter in his arms, I could feel my tension easing away.

  “I’m gonna lay you down.”

  The soft bed caressed my body, but the coldness swept through from the loss of Deke so close. Moments later, I felt the bed dip next to me. I didn’t ask, but just moved into his arms, resting my head on his now bare chest.

  My vision was blurry from the tears, but I wanted so badly to explore him. It would sadly need to wait.

  Time escaped me as I lay curled in his arms, but the tears finally dried up as my body molded against his, completely relaxed. Deke never said a word and continued to slowly stroke my shoulder. It was exactly what I needed, and damn if my heart didn’t swell in that moment.

  Raising my head from his chest, my cheek stuck a bit. I quickly wiped it with my hands, trying not to let the embarrassment show.

  “You okay?” he drawled smoothly.

  Staring in his eyes, I knew I was lost … again. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve been through a lot.”

  “I shouldn’t have said those things.”

  “They were true … at least at the time.”

  “Why didn’t you ever call me after I left?” I whispered, resting my hands on his chest with my chin on top, staring at him. My hand instantly found the key that was dangling from the rope on his neck.

  “You wanna talk about this now?”

  “Yes.”

  Blowing out a deep breath, Deke looked up at the ceiling. “I was pissed. I couldn’t believe you left me.”

  “I’m sorry.” My voice was so quiet, but I couldn’t speak louder.

  “Why did you go? Why didn’t you stay with your grandma?” The pain in his eyes tore me up. I wanted to erase all those years of hurt for him.

  “I couldn’t. Mom was flipping her lid, saying that I was just like my father leaving her. I had to go.” I tried hard to hold the tears back as they were lurking in the back of my eyes.

  “That’s why I didn’t call. I was pissed at just about everything in life already, then when you left, it got worse.”

  “I wanted to stay, ya know?”

  “No, not really,” he grumbled. “How was California?”

  His abruptness at the question caught me off guard. “Okay.” I turned my head; resting my check on his chest, I felt the steady rise and fall with each breath. “Mom and Aunt Tennie drank most of the time, so I pretty much had to fend for myself. School was horrible. My Southern accent didn’t fly well with the kids, so I continued to immerse myself in books.”

  “Is that why you started writing?”

  Looking at him I smiled. “I just started one day. It was kinda crazy actually.”

  “Why’s that?” I couldn’t help but be touched that he wanted to learn more about my writing.

  “I didn’t have normal stories running through my head. Mine were adventurous and sexy. Then they began to have a life of their own. I didn’t know what to do with them. I sat on them, tucking them away in my drawer. I didn’t start pulling them out until college. Then I showed them to a professor of mine who encouraged me to put them out there.”

  “Where did you go to college?” Deke’s fingers pulled gently through my hair.

  “USC. I got in on a lot of scholarships that my high school counselor helped me apply for. I took classes year round and graduated in four years.”

  “Good for you.” His arm squeezed me tight, and I relished in his embrace.

  “What about you? What did you do after high school?” I asked, knowing he didn’t go to college, at least from what the girls told me.

  “I went to the academy. After my mom overdosed, I wanted to find the fucker who gave her the drugs. So I thought it would be the best way.” I turned my head so I could see him, but stared at the ceiling.

  “You did it just for that?”

  “Yep.” The void of emotion coming from him was almost scary.

  “How’d that work?” I was quite surprised that a man would go through all that training just to hunt down one man.

  “Found him, beat him up, almost killing him with my bare hands. My partner had to drag me off of him. He’s the reason I’m now undercover.” Deke said it so flippantly that it didn’t seem to bother him.

  “Wow.” I couldn’t help but be a bit stunned. I’d never seen this side of him.

  “I’ll take him out, but first I have to find the boss. Once I cut him off at the balls, then I’ll take the asshole out.” I lay there, still not knowing what to say. Fear ripped through me at what could happen to him. I’d never thought about the danger before this moment. “It’ll happen, hopefully sooner rather than later,” he continued.

  “Then what will you do?” My curiosity peaked.

  “Don’t know yet. I love my bar, so probably just that.”

  “Why did you start Sully’s?” I happened to love the fact he named it after himself.

  Deke turned to face me, the spark back into his eyes. It was a relief. I didn’t like that void. “Dad wanted me to come work for him and go to college after I lost my job, but there was no way I was gonna be cooped up with him any longer than absolutely necessary. I needed a cover, always wanted to have a bar, so I did it. It worked out well.”

  “What about the band?”

  “That’s just for fun.”

  “I didn’t know you played.”

  “I played when I was a kid, stopped for quite a while, but after Mom died and you were gone, I needed to do something besides punching everything at the gym. I got out my old guitar and started playing.”

  “You looked hot up there.” I smiled remembering the way his muscles flexed as the lights shined down on him. I moved off him to lay my head on the pillow, facing him.

  “I did, huh?” He smirked, making my panties wet.

  I moved to straddle his hips. Looking down at him, he was still the most gorgeous man I’d ever laid eyes on. His strong face and sparkling blue eyes sucked me in. “Yeah. You did.”

  Laying my body down on top of his, I began kissing him. It only took him a second to begin to kiss me back. Our tongues danced back and forth, entwining and caressing. My hands began to roam his beautiful chest, and I needed to explore.

  Venturing down, I began kissing, sucking, and nipping his neck and pecs—his body was incredible. Moving my tongue flat along his nipple, I heard him groan. The power I felt from that one noise was amazing and caused me to push forward.

  As I moved to the other side, I crossed over the key he had hanging from his neck. “Where’d you get this?”

  “God, that feels good,” he groaned. Feeling that power surge again, I went back to work kissing and nipping his body. Finding my way down to his abs, I licked each one individually, paying special attention to his light dusting of a treasure trail down the center.

  As my hands went into his waistband, Deke grabbed me under my shoulder hoisting me up. “Ahh …”

  “Get up here and kiss me.” Deke entwined his hands in my hair, pulling me to him hard. We kissed and kissed as if our lives depended on it.

  Involuntarily, my body began rocking on his. My clit rubbed repeatedly on his hard cock still covered by his jeans. I couldn’t stop moving as my body was lit on the verge of exploding, my need growing.

  Breaking away for breath, I said, “I need you, Deke.”

  “I need you, too, but I’m not having sex with you.”

  My body instantly froze. “What?”

  “I want to prove to you that you’re not my plaything … that I’m yours.”

  I stared down at him, tears welling in my eyes. “Vann, I want to watch you come.”

  I crashed my lips against his, trying to convey to him every emotion that was coursing
through my veins, hoping he was feeling it, too. My body started grinding against his again, pulsating through me. Deke’s hands fell to my hips as he helped grind my body on his, taking me further than I could have gone myself.

  There was no stopping the lightning crash that flew through my body enveloping me into a world of euphoria. I smashed my body onto Deke’s, laying my head on his chest. His heart was beating so fast like it wanted to jump out and take off.

  As my senses came back, I felt Deke’s hard erection between my legs. I started to get up to rectify the problem, but was immediately pulled back down to his body, his arms wrapping around my mine tightly, holding me in place. “What are you doing?”

  “Holding you,” he teased.

  “I can feel you.”

  “Don’t worry about me.”

  “I can help relieve it,” I said, stunned he really didn’t want me to help him.

  “I know, but not now. Let me hold you.”

  “Is this part of the me not being a toy thing?”

  “Yep. Lay down.”

  Lying back down, I listened as his heartbeat slowed, but his cock was still hard as steel. I didn’t attempt to help him. I rather enjoyed where I was.

  A loud banging came from the door. As I sat up, still straddling Deke, the door flew open.

  “Savannah Marie!” My Grams’s voice flowed through the room. I immediately jumped off the bed, righting my clothes on my body. Being caught at twenty-two was just about as bad as being caught at seventeen.

  “Grams, what are you doing here?” I screeched.

  Glancing over at Deke, I wanted to wipe the smile off his face. I didn’t know what the hell he found so damn amusing. Deke lay on my bed, shirt off, legs spread out, but crossed at the ankle. Yes, I was a grown-ass woman, but this was still Grams!

  “I had to hear at the store from Grace what happened to you?” The disappointment and anger in Grams’s voice was enough to send me to my knees. I never wanted that.

  “I’m sorry, Grams. I’ve been dealing with some stuff,” I said, ashamed.

  “I know, but you should have called.”