by K. A. Poe
It was my fault Karen was gone. I should have changed her the night before when Salem and I were alone with her. I could have stopped this but I didn’t. Maybe it was as much my fault that she was gone as it was Brian’s. Gone – and no fountain could ever bring her back.
“Maybe he’s right, Salem…” I mumbled as I pulled away from him. “Maybe it’s best if we stay like this forever. Could you bear to see me lying in a hospital, dying? Maybe it is actually selfish to become mortal. We would be hurting the people who care about us by being able to get sick, hurt, or die. Just look at what happened to Karen…to Janet. If they’d both been like us I would have never lost them…”
He placed his hand on my cheek and gazed into my eyes. “That is just part of life, Alex. It is how it was meant to be. We are born…we live and grow and pass our knowledge on to the next generation. This is not how life is supposed to be. We are not meant to be frozen in time, stagnant and alone.”
“But we’re not alone. We have each other…and if we just did what Mitch said then we’d not be alone…we wouldn’t even have to see anyone we loved die. I don’t want to end up like Karen…” my voice cracked as I spoke her name. Reality was seeping in more and more as the minutes passed. She was gone. How was I to carry on knowing I would never see her again, never hear her voice again? The numbness that had mostly kept me calm to this point was fading into misery.
My name was the last word she had said. The last word whispered through the lips of my best friend.
I regretted not sinking my fangs into her wrist and turning her into a vampire. She’d still be with me, whether she was corrupted or not…that was better than death, wasn’t it? I couldn’t help bringing myself back to this same point time and again.
“This is all so strange,” Mitchell commented. “Vampires. I mean…if vampires are real than what all else is? Ghosts, witches, werewolves?”
“Well…I know for sure about witches and vampires…not sure about anything else.”
“Really? Witches?”
“Yep,” I answered and glanced at Salem. “Witch’s blood runs in Salem’s family.”
Mitch glanced at him. “You just get weirder by the second.”
Salem smirked. I watched his eyes flicker purple and a red rose appeared in my hand. The thorns pricked at my skin but it scarcely mattered, the wounds would heal in seconds and I felt no pain from the pricks. The Banner brothers just stared in awe and I couldn’t help but smile slightly.
“You’re just going to give that up, too?” Mitchell’s mouth fell agape as he spoke.
“If it is a sacrifice I have to make in order to live an ordinary life, then it is one I shall commit to,” Salem vowed. “But, let us get back to the more severe matter at hand. Where are Mr. and Mrs. Williams?”
“I think they’re at the hospital right now,” Jason answered between sobs.
Salem nodded. “We should meet them there and share our condolences for the loss of Karen.”
“No!” I exclaimed without thinking. “If…if we go there…that means this is all real. I’m not ready for this to all be real. I’ll never be ready. I just want to go on with life thinking that Karen is out there somewhere, doing makeup and hair…alive.”
“Alexis…I know this is not going to be easy but-”
“No, you don’t! You don’t know how this feels!” I snapped back at Salem unintentionally.
He pulled me into a tight hug. “Alex, she is gone. I am so sorry, really. But she is gone whether you choose to accept and believe it or not. Karen would not have wanted you to go on like that.”
Although tears still would not stream from my eyes, my voice began to sob. Whether it was from muscle-memory of what my body could do back when I was still human or not I didn’t know.
“I’ll make sure they’re still there,” Mitch said, patted me on the shoulder, and pulled out his cell phone.
We waited quietly while he communicated to Karen’s parents. I could hardly imagine the devastation they were feeling in comparison to mine. True I had lost my best friend, but they lost a daughter – that had to feel far worse. This got me to thinking about what Paul had to go through when he lost Destiny – he, too, lost a daughter, but at least it was only temporary and he got to play some sort of role in my life. But if he didn’t change his ways, he was going to lose me forever.
“Inform the Williams’ that it would be my pleasure to treat you all to lunch at whatever restaurant they desire, Mitchell,” Salem said suddenly. “I understand that they may not have much of an appetite right now, but any form of distraction will be beneficial to them.”
Mitchell nodded and relayed the message to Karen’s parents. It was then agreed that we would meet at a quaint diner between here and the hospital to discuss what had happened, and what was to come.
14. DISTRACTIONS
To our surprise, the diner was pretty packed and we had to sit at the front benches to await an available table for six people. I immediately embraced Mrs. Williams when we entered the building and let her bawl on my shoulder, wishing yet again that I could express my own grievances. I shared a brief hug with Mr. Williams who was trying his hardest to keep a calm composure despite the sorrow I could plainly see in the depths of his deep blue eyes. He had to be strong for his wife, even if it felt as though the Earth had stopped spinning.
It took roughly fifteen minutes for a table to be ready, but none of us were in a big hurry to eat – it was more of a distraction than anything.
Our waitress was a curvy woman with her dirty blonde hair up in a messy ponytail and the name ‘Summer’ was printed in bold letters on her name tag. She took our drink orders and retreated quickly to retrieve them. I attempted to remain normal and casual and got my usual cola even though I had no intent of actually drinking any aside from maybe a sip here and there to keep up appearances. Jason and Mitchell would have understood my lack of drinking or eating, but I didn’t want to make things awkward around the Williams’.
Salem and I sat beside each other, with one Banner brother on each of our side’s – Mitchell sat next to Salem while Jason took a seat next to me. The Williams’ sat together on the other side of the table, the two seats beside them vacant and I couldn’t help but imagine Karen sitting there…and perhaps Eila to her side. I hadn’t thought about it until now but it was shocking Jason had not brought her along.
“Where’s Eila, anyway?” I asked Jason.
“She didn’t want to intrude, she said,” he explained with a shrug. “I tried to tell her it wasn’t a problem and that she’s just as welcome as anyone else but she said she’d rather go looking at colleges. She didn’t know Kar…she didn’t know her like we did.” Mrs. Williams started tearing up again from the slight mention of her daughter.
I frowned. “She could’ve come. I don’t think anyone would’ve cared.”
Everyone nodded in agreement aside from Karen’s mom, but I had to wonder just what they all thought of the girl. She was pleasant and sweet but a little possessive over Jason. Despite that I wondered if there was a possibility of us becoming friends someday.
I glanced across the table at Elizabeth, who I had always just called mom, and saw that she was beginning to cry again. Mr. Williams draped a comforting arm across her shoulder and whispered something soothing into her ear. I couldn’t blame the poor woman; I know I would have been shattered if I had lost my only child. It was hard enough losing my best friend.
The waitress returned with six glasses and set them in front of each of us. I took a quick sip of my cola and was shocked to find that it had little to no taste at all. With a sideways glance I looked toward Salem and now understood why he had no interest in regular food or drinks. Vampirism had taken so much from him, and now me…it was no wonder he wanted so desperately to be human again. He could eat whatever he wanted, without having to hunt down a wild animal and steal away its life or having to pretend in front of my friends. As I watched him, he took a sip of ice water and pretended to enjoy it. Pe
rhaps that would have been an easier choice for me, too, as water had scarcely any flavor anyway. I glared at my soda in silence.
“Are you alright, Alex?” Mr. Williams said somberly.
I glanced up at him and smiled awkwardly. “Yeah...well…no. I’m not sure I’ll ever be completely alright again.”
“Believe me Alex, I know what you mean,” he said as he squeezed his arm around his wife again.
“This is a nice little place,” Mrs. Williams commented hoarsely as she wiped away some fresh tears, obviously trying to change the subject if she could. “Thank you for inviting us out.”
Salem smiled warmly at Karen’s mother. “It was my pleasure, Mrs. Williams.
The sound of her sniveling caused me immediately to look up. “It’s somewhere Karen would have liked...”
I didn’t know what to do or talk about in a situation like this. I knew we were here to have something distract us from what was going on, but it wasn’t working. We all knew why we were here and no idle chat would bring Karen back.
“So…” John, Karen’s father, said, “That’s a nice ring there. Are you two planning on getting married already?”
“Someday. We’re engaged now but have yet to set a date,” I replied.
“Well congrats! I still remember when I proposed to Liz. I was such a dork, right, hon?” He nudged his wife but she gave no response.
“Thanks,” I said and noticed Jason was glumly staring at the ring on my hand.
“What about you and Eila, Jason?” Elizabeth said with what appeared to be another difficult attempt at smiling. “Any plans?”
He grunted and shrugged. “I don’t know where our relationship is headed. She plans to move here to Denver for college, but I want to stay in Willowshire, so...”
She nodded in understanding. “Well, Willowshire isn’t that far from Denver.”
“Yeah, that’s what people keep telling me,” he mumbled as the waitress returned to take our orders.
She went around the table clockwise: Jason ordered his typical choice – a cheeseburger; I got a grilled cheese; Salem ordered the soup of the day which was tomato bisque; Mitchell chose a Philly cheese steak; Mr. Williams got a double cheeseburger and his wife decided to not get anything despite her husband’s suggestions.
The setting vaguely reminded me of the night Desmond and Melissa took Salem and me out for dinner after Janet’s funeral. I wondered where in the world they were now – probably on a safari through Africa or snorkeling in the Barrier Reef. Part of me admired their lifestyle and I was learning to adjust to why Desmond made the decision to leave Janet. I still didn’t forgive him for abandoning us, but he was making a better life for himself by travelling the world and enjoying life to the fullest he possibly could rather than working at a mundane job for the rest of his short mortal existence. I stared at Salem beside me and wondered if we should wait to visit the fountain – perhaps we should venture the world and see everything we can before we give up eternity.
“No lucky lady in your life just yet, Mitchell?” Mr. Williams asked jokingly.
Mitch’s cheeks flushed and he shook his head. “Not yet,” he replied. “I’m trying to focus on school now...not that I wouldn’t mind having somebody…”
Mrs. Williams came out of her glazed look for a few more seconds. “That’s a smart decision. Do you know where you are wanting to go to college yet?”
Mitch shrugged. “Maybe a culinary school somewhere,” he said as he fiddled around with his fork. “I’ve been working at the diner for so long; I figure maybe my place is in a kitchen. They’re hiring a new sous chef and I’ve put in applications for that.”
“That’s perfect!” I beamed, “I can totally see you working as a chef.”
He laughed. “Thanks, Alex. It’s not something I ever really thought I wanted to do until recently.”
“It’s a good choice,” Mrs. Williams said with a genuine smile. Maybe she was finally being distracted enough to put out thoughts of what had happened. “What about you, Alex?”
I blinked, having not expected her to ask me. “Oh…um, probably something music-related,” I said quickly.
“Well, you’ve always been a smart girl, I’m sure you could make a famous musician.”
I chuckled. “I doubt that, but we’ll see.”
“Now, don’t be so modest. I remember going to the talent shows back in elementary school – you were great even back then.”
I smiled fondly at the memory. There was a standing ovation, a beautiful bouquet of red and white roses had been presented to me and a small golden trophy that I eventually misplaced during the move from the house Desmond and Janet had lived in together. Karen had won third place with a joint ballet stunt with her and a few other girls. Second place was won by a young boy that I scarcely remember who performed a simple magic trick.
“Thanks,” I replied as the memory faded. “It’s one of my favorite memories.”
Mrs. Williams smiled at me and I noticed tears starting to well up again. Before she let any fall she turned to look at Salem. “And what about you, young man? What are your plans?”
“I was considering perhaps a history or English teacher,” he replied quickly.
“Oh, that’s nice. Definitely an underappreciated career,” she said just as the waitress came by with our food.
My plate was placed before me and I wanted so badly for it to taste buttery, cheesy and delicious but I knew that I would find it tasting like nothing. Everyone else dug into their dishes, including Salem who occasionally blew on a spoonful of soup and ate it. With a sigh, I bit into my sandwich and made a disapproving face, hoping no one noticed, and swallowed. It wasn’t repulsive but it was as though my taste buds were incapable of enjoying anything but blood…which I guess was accurate. Despite my lack of interest, I slowly ate the entire sandwich to keep up appearances.
“We can’t keep up this charade forever,” Mr. Williams blurted out after finishing his burger. “I wish that Karen were here…but I’ll never eat another meal with my little girl again.”
“Oh, John,” Mrs. Williams cried and hugged her husband.
“I’m so sorry,” John mumbled. “I don’t mean to make a scene. I’ve been trying to be the strong one, but the funeral is getting nearer and nearer…I don’t want to see my baby girl like that…”
I could see Jason starting to cry again and once more wished I could share in their tears. Regardless how incredibly sad I felt there was no outward appearance of it other than a frown. I couldn’t imagine how this must all feel for Karen’s parents, and in all honesty I was still in somewhat of a state of shock. I didn’t know what to do, or say and without intention I asked aloud, “What time is it set for?”
“Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning at eight,” he replied, wiping his eyes and looking away.
“This is all just so unreal,” I commented and sighed. “Did…did the police do anything about…Brian?”
John looked up at me with hate in his eyes at the sound of the boy’s name and I couldn’t blame him. “They put that bastard behind bars for now, but he’ll be out without much more than a slap on the wrist. I ought to kill him for what he did.”
“John…” Mrs. Williams tried to interrupt.
“What? You don’t feel that? It’s his fault she’s gone. Gone, Liz…gone!”
Karen’s mom broke into sobs again and was instantly met by the comforting arms of her husband. “I’m…I’m sorry hon, I just…I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to do.”
Mitchell checked the time on his cell phone and grimaced. “You told Eila you’d meet up with her at the hotel an hour ago, Jason.” I didn’t know if it was true or if Mitch was just kindly giving us an excuse to leave the couple to their grief. Either way I was thankful, maybe this had all been a bad idea.
Jason cleared his throat. “I forgot all about it. She’s probably left me a ton of voice mail asking where I’m at.”
“Well…we should probably be getting ready…for
tomorrow,” Mrs. Williams said remorsefully. “Thank you for the food, Salem. I know you meant for it to distract us from…this…but I don’t think anything could.”
“It was no problem at all, Mrs. Williams, and I understand,” Salem replied with a sympathetic smile. “If you need any help at all with the…with tomorrow…please just let us know.
“Thank you Salem,” came the raspy voice of Karen’s mother.
He nodded, the smile never fading. “Of course, Mrs. Williams,” he said. “We will see you in the morning.”
John and Elizabeth shared brief hugs with all of us before exiting the diner. The waitress stopped by one last time with the check and Salem deserted the table to pay for it while the Banner boys and I sat and waited. It had been a very awkward meal. It had been a long time since I had seen the Williams and they were like parents to me, but I wish it could have been under different circumstances. Tomorrow was coming closer and closer, and I knew deep down that I couldn’t face it…that seeing her would make this real – and that was the last thing I wanted.
15. HAUNTING REALIZATION
The morning of Karen’s funeral was tense. It felt like time was scooting by slower than usual. I watched the clock impatiently: 5:15, 5:40, 6:25, 6:50…a little over two hours before the ‘event’. Salem summoned a simple black dress and heels for me to wear to the ceremony. Despite my grief and frustration, I couldn’t help but admire the black suit he wore. He looked absolutely stunning – as if that were unusual. The Banner brothers were due to arrive within the next thirty minutes. During the wait, Salem and I stared out the hotel window at the surrounding city.
“How are you?” he asked suddenly as we watched a bird soar through the sky. I wished I were that bird. It felt like forever since I was able to fly. Somewhere deep down I also desired to hunt. Whether it was a way to temporarily relieve my sorrows or the inevitable gnawing of my vampire side I couldn’t be sure. Anything would be better than what was soon to come.
