A Kiss to Build a Dream On

by Kim Amos

  She did her shot, grabbed her own beer, and then the three of them settled themselves at the kitchen table.

  “All right, Burk,” Anna said, her cheeks already pink from the warmth of the whiskey, “you have forty minutes before Willa arrives for dinner. So spill it.”

  “Well, that’s the thing,” Burk said, taking a deep breath. “I’m not sure she’s coming. We had a falling-out and I don’t know what to do.”

  Sam reached over and covered his wife’s hand absently. It was a small thing, a tiny gesture, but it started a dull press behind Burk’s sternum. For the first time, he longed for something like what Anna and Sam had. Something steady, something real—not the series of one-night stands he’d cultivated for the past twelve years.

  He’d been so close to it with Willa. He’d tasted it, sensed it was within his grasp. And then he’d thrown it away.

  “Falling-out?” Anna asked. “What do you mean? Like, a fight?”

  “A big fight,” Burk replied, taking another swig of his beer.

  Anna searched his face. “Is this about the house? Did you do something stupid?”

  Leave it to his sister to cut to the chase. He nodded, staring at the polished wood of their kitchen table. “She told me she’d hit a financial bump with the house, and I offered to buy it from her. Again.”

  “Well, that’s not so bad,” Sam offered. “It’s a big project.”

  “It’s just—I don’t think she was telling me so I’d take it off her hands. I think she was…confiding in me. That is, she told me when we were together.”

  “When you were together together?” Anna asked, eyebrows raised.

  “Yes,” Burk said, suddenly overcome with the memory of Willa’s skin against his, the soft brush of her hair against his shoulder, the way her nipples had hardened as he traced a line from her throat to the plunge between her breasts.

  “She was explaining how she had to put everything on hold until she could get more cash together,” Burk said, pushing away the vivid images. “And I told her maybe the B and B wasn’t such a good idea right now, and she should probably sell the house.”

  Anna groaned. “You said this while you were in bed? Jesus, Burk. I mean, there’s stupid, and then there’s that.”

  “Okay, okay, hold on,” Sam insisted. “It’s not that bad. Even if Burk picked the wrong time to offer to buy the place, he was still trying to help. Right?”

  Anna’s mouth hardened. “Maybe, but think about it from Willa’s perspective. She lets Burk in on the reality of her situation, and Burk tries to turn it around to his benefit.” She faced her brother fully. “What’s more, you belittled her dream. You have to realize she is considering the possibility that you only slept with her to try and change her mind about the house, right? I’m trusting that it wasn’t your motivation, even though at this point I’m not—”

  “It wasn’t,” Burk interrupted. “I swear, it wasn’t.”

  Acid churned inside him as he realized the full weight of what a fool he’d been. He’d had Willa right there in his arms, but even still his lust had been for the house. He’d wanted it for so long that when the possibility of having it was in front of him, he couldn’t help trying to get it. He’d put wanting a structure above wanting her.

  And he regretted it with everything he had.

  “I need to tell her I don’t want the house,” Burk said. “I need to tell her things have changed.”

  Anna and Sam shared a glance.

  “Changed how?” Anna asked.

  “Well, you know. How things can change. With people.”

  “If you want our help, Burk, we can’t beat around the bush here. Changed how?”

  Burk searched for the right words. How could he explain to them that his mind burned every day with the collages that Willa had made? How could he tell them that she’d taken a bricks-and-mortar project he’d been obsessed with and turned it into something more? She’d added charm and warmth to all his plans—a thousand touches that he could never have known he wanted—and made his house a home. Even if she agreed to sell it, the weight of the truth had hit him this afternoon: He wouldn’t want to be there without her.

  Yesterday, when he’d finally allowed himself to crack the door to his emotions toward Willa, his feelings had completely overtaken him. The door had flown open, had torn off its hinges, and was lying somewhere at the bottom of his heart, splintered and broken. And there was simply no way to close it again.

  “Wait, do you love her?” Anna asked, her eyes impossibly wide.

  Love. He’d felt it once for Willa. Was it so impossible for him to feel it again?

  The house only worked if he was in it with her. That wasn’t love, was it?

  No, that was living together. And living together didn’t mean marriage or a family, though suddenly his chest hurt all over again with the thought of little girls like Juniper running around, only with Willa’s sparkling green eyes.

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. I can’t think about that right now.”

  Anna’s face softened. “How can we help?”

  “Tell me what to do,” Burk replied, his eyes locking on to his sister’s. “Tell me how to fix this.”

  Sam sat back in his chair. “I’m no expert, but have you tried apologizing?”

  Burk opened his mouth, then closed it. He tried to think back to yesterday afternoon—to shouting and putting his clothes on in the snow and the fury he felt when her ex had shown up. There was no apologizing in all that tumult.

  “I didn’t,” he answered finally.

  “Well, it’s a good start,” Anna said. “It also wouldn’t hurt to tell her how you feel. Even if you say it’s not love, you must feel something for her, or you wouldn’t be here, drinking and looking like a lost basset hound.”

  Anna gave him a small, amused smile, as if part of her was tickled by this whole thing. He brushed past it. She could laugh at him all she wanted, if she helped get him back in Willa’s good graces.

  A timer on the stove dinged, and Anna stood up to pull her chicken potpie out of the oven. The golden, flaky crust steamed with the rich contents underneath.

  “Such a shame,” Anna said, placing her hot pads on the counter. “All this food and not enough people to eat it.”

  Burk glanced at the clock. It was five minutes past seven. Willa wasn’t coming.

  Not that he was surprised. Why would she? Burk had screwed up, her ex was back, and she’d told him never to set foot in her house again.

  “Maybe I should let you two munch on this,” Anna said thoughtfully, “while I call an emergency meeting of the Knots and Bolts crew.”

  “An emergency meeting?” Burk asked. “What are you, a league of superheroes?”

  Anna squared her shoulders. “We’re a league of women who care for one another,” she said crisply, “and I imagine Willa’s feeling pretty low right now. She might need some support.”

  “Oh,” Burk said, feeling foolish. “That makes sense.”

  “It does,” Anna said, “and if you were using your brain, you’d realize that I could put in a good word for you if I saw her tonight.”

  Burk sighed. No one could ever accuse him of being…intuitive.

  “You guys hold down the fort,” Anna said, pulling out her cell. “I’m off to Knots and Bolts. I’ll see you later.”

  Burk watched his sister go, feeling a mix of hopefulness and helplessness he couldn’t quite reconcile.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Friday, October 12, 10:04 p.m.

  Willa checked her phone as she climbed into her car, getting ready to head down to Knots and Bolts. She had three missed calls and six missed texts from Lance.

  Have rental again.

  Getting ready to leave. You can still come with me.

  I need you.

  Why can’t you help me?

  You’re being a bitch.

  Goddamn it.

  Willa closed her eyes, wondering if she should contact the New York
authorities. Lance needed to leave, and having him around was starting to unnerve her. She took a deep breath, resolving to turn him in if he tried to contact her again. In the meantime, she sent him one final message:

  It’s over. Go home.

  Throwing her car into Drive, she pulled out into the dark night.

  * * *

  Anna’s cell beeped as she hunted around for the key in the pot outside Knots and Bolts.

  “Here,” she said, handing the device to Willa, “can you see who it is?”

  Willa took the phone, marveling at how putting EKB (Emergency Knots and Bolts) in front of a text to these women meant everyone dropped what they were doing and came downtown.

  “Steph’s on her way,” Willa said, drawing her coat more closely around her. Though the day had been warm and most of the snow had melted away, a fall chill had returned, cutting through all of Willa’s layers.

  “Got it!” Anna said triumphantly, opening the back door and flicking on the lights. Willa was instantly warmed by the homey furniture, the friendly rugs, and the lingering smells from past recipe exchanges. No matter that she was still a little muddled about why she was here in the first place. She thought Anna might be irritated she’d missed the dinner, but not only was Anna not irritated, she suddenly wanted to hang out.

  Anna’s phone beeped again, and Willa handed it back to her. “Audrey and Betty are on their way,” Anna said, her cheeks still pink from outside. Not even the miserable cold could keep these ladies away, Willa realized.

  Willa sat in a painted purple chair, suddenly bone tired. “I don’t know why we’re doing this,” she said, rubbing her neck. “It’s nice to want to get everyone together, but it seems a little odd.”

  “It’s never odd to get friends together,” Anna said, finding a bottle of Chianti and uncorking it. She got two glasses from the kitchenette and set one down in front of Willa. “Besides, Burk told me about what happened between you two. I figured you could use some cheering up.”

  Willa gazed at the table, wondering exactly how much Burk had confessed to his sister. She pictured his strong chest, the tangle of their limbs in bed, and blushed involuntarily. She hoped he hadn’t told Anna that.

  Anna raised her glass, the Chianti swirling in deep maroons and violets, and toasted Willa. “To you, for not slugging Burk when he pissed all over your B and B idea. I don’t know if I could have restrained myself.”

  Willa smiled slightly, clinking glasses. Whatever Burk had said, it had certainly backfired with his sister.

  “He may have a point, though,” Willa said after taking a sip. “About the house, I mean. Maybe I did bite off more than I could chew with this B and B idea, you know? Maybe I should just sell.”

  “Oh, no, you’re not out of the game yet,” Anna said. “The bank will help you if you get your ducks in a row. And if you have a strong business plan, you can be profitable. You just have to be smart about it.”

  Willa shook her head, her heart renewing its ache. “But in the end, maybe Burk really should have the house. He has cared for it all this time. What if I’m just being stubborn and keeping a good man from what should be his?”

  Anna placed a warm hand over Willa’s. “Maybe he hasn’t wanted the house as much as he thinks. Maybe he just wants the feelings that are connected to the place. I mean, think about it, Willa. Of all the houses in White Pine, he fixates on that one? It was always a question lingering in the back of my mind—why Willa’s house?—but once you came back, it was answered for certain. He still cares about you.”

  Willa waved the words away. “No. He made it clear today that he only cares about the house. He’d rather have the structure than me. And maybe I should just let him have it.”

  Anna shook her head. “Don’t give up yet. You deserve your dream B and B and a man who cares about you. And you can have both.”

  Willa lowered her eyes, embarrassed at the tears pooling. She wanted so much to believe that was true. But the idea of having it all seemed so far away—so impossibly remote.

  Anna squeezed her hand just as the back door flew open. Audrey and Betty stomped in, their eyes bright with worry.

  “Somebody better be dying,” Betty said, “because I was in the middle of a Law & Order marathon.”

  “Your television can wait,” Anna replied dryly. “This is more important.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” Betty said, shrugging off her coat and grabbing more glasses from the kitchenette. She squinted at the Chianti bottle before pouring for Audrey and herself. “At least somebody brought the good stuff.”

  “Leftover from the ex’s collection, I think,” Anna said.

  Willa nodded. “Definitely. This was a varietal we picked up in a vineyard on the Tyrrhenian Sea.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “Tuscany.”

  “Fancy,” Betty said, taking a large swallow.

  Audrey didn’t touch her glass. “What’s going on?” she asked, her brown eyes darting from Willa to Anna. “Is everything okay?”

  “It’s fine,” Anna said. “My brother’s just being an ass, and we need to help our friend. Once Stephanie gets here, I’ll explain everything.”

  As if on cue, the back door opened one last time, and Stephanie scurried in. “Sorry I’m late,” she said breathlessly. “The twins didn’t want to go down without a fight. Not that that’s anything new.”

  “Pour yourself a glass of the good stuff and take a load off,” Betty said. “We just got here ourselves.”

  “I hope everything’s okay,” Stephanie said, peeling off her layers and joining them at the table. Her red hair was a disarrayed halo around her porcelain face. “I can’t remember the last time we had an emergency recipe exchange meeting.”

  “Oh, I can,” Betty said. “It was when Audrey here got her heart broken by that bike rider. What was his name?”

  “Kieran Callaghan,” Audrey muttered, her eyes fixed solidly on her wineglass. Willa had never seen her look so glum. It must be the man Audrey mentioned the other day—the one who left her after two weeks.

  “The Irish asshat,” Betty said.

  “What happened?” Willa asked, wondering at the hurt that sagged Audrey’s normally bright features.

  “I was a fool,” Audrey said, her high cheekbones coloring. “I believed Kieran loved me. But he was just messing around.”

  Betty scoffed. “He had us all fooled. And it’s hard to pull one over on me.”

  “He was very handsome,” Stephanie said. “That’s probably what distracted us.”

  Betty pushed an errant blond curl away from her face. “It didn’t help that he rode around on that Harley like some kind of Celtic god.”

  Willa giggled at the image.

  “He was superhot,” Anna said. “Audrey liked to go on and on about what a handsome stud he was.”

  “I did not,” Audrey protested, but a scarlet flush along her neck betrayed the truth.

  “She loved to tell us how she’d kiss the Blarney Stone,” Anna continued. “Only I think Audrey called it the Blarney Bone, after they did it.”

  Willa snorted, and Stephanie stared into her wineglass, trying not to lose it. Audrey frowned at all of them, but her eyes sparkled with laughter.

  “His good luck charm was his four-leaf boner,” Betty grinned.

  Willa let out a full-blown laugh at this. She tried to cover it up, but the others had already joined her.

  “There was a pot of gold at the end of his rainbone,” Anna chimed in.

  At this, the whole group collapsed into helpless peals. Willa laughed until her sides hurt, until she couldn’t see or breathe. When she could finally sit up straight, she felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

  Eventually, she was able to collect herself enough to speak. “I needed that,” she said, raising her glass to toast the group. “Here’s to Audrey’s awful choices in men.”

  “Hear, hear,” Stephanie agreed, taking a swallow.

 
“What the hell,” Audrey said, grinning. She joined them in the toast. But when they’d all had a drink, Audrey’s face turned serious once again.

  “As much as I love reliving the old days of Kieran Callaghan, can someone tell me why we’re here? Is everything okay?”

  “It’s fine,” Anna said, sitting up a little straighter. “At least it’s going to be once we’re done here. As it turns out, my older brother has been a jackass, and now Willa’s doubting whether she should keep the house and turn it into a B and B. I thought we could all help her out.”

  Betty’s forehead wrinkled. “I’m sorry, but I have no idea how to finish a remodel. This may be out of our league.”

  “Not like that,” Anna said. “In other ways. Like baking her a pie and reminding her that she’s got what it takes to succeed.”

  “Oh,” Betty replied, drumming her fingers on the table. “Well, we were going to go over some business plans before the snowstorm got in our way. We could do that tonight, Willa, if you want.”

  “And I can still teach you how to make hot dish,” Audrey offered.

  “I can do my impression of my twins accidentally eating lemon slices,” Stephanie said. “It’s guaranteed to cheer you up.”

  Willa shook her head, unsure how to explain that it wasn’t just her dream of starting the B and B that seemed so suddenly tenuous. It was her dream of rekindling things with Burk. She wanted so much to escape this feeling of helplessness. Of not being in control.

  Of being in love.

  “Aw, shit,” Betty said, studying her. “You’re not just busted up about the B and B; you’re busted up about Burk. You went and fell for him.”

  Willa tried to argue, but found she couldn’t. She wouldn’t lie to her friends.

  “Really?” Anna asked after a moment. “You love him?”

  Willa couldn’t be sure anymore. She was so tired, and she didn’t know if she could trust anything she was feeling. “If I do, I shouldn’t,” was all she could bring herself to say.

  “But this is not the end of the road,” Anna protested. “Trust me, I know my brother. Ladies, has Burk Olmstead ever loved a single woman since Willa?”