The Empire State Cat's Christmas Gift

by Nic Tatano

  “Very true. I always visit in the winter.”

  Benny stirred the sugar into the coffee and handed it to him, then pointed at his hand. “So, since we’re on the subject of family, is there no Mrs. Spence? I don’t see a ring.”

  Spencer shook his head. “I’m single.”

  “Never married?”

  “Nope. Never even came close to finding Miss Right.”

  “Kids?”

  “I’ve never been married.”

  “That doesn’t stop your generation.”

  “True. I’m old-fashioned in that respect.”

  “Well, nice lookin’ guy like you in an expensive suit must have women bangin’ down the door. I can understand why you wouldn’t wanna be attached when you can play the field.”

  “If only, Benny. Haven’t had a decent girlfriend in years. I’ve, uh, been kinda married to my job. Which hasn’t helped.”

  Benny sat on his stool and folded his arms. “Really? You don’t seem like that type. I’m surprised. There’s more to life than work, you know.”

  “Yeah, I’m starting to realize that. As for women, well, the stars never aligned. It seems the women I’m attracted to aren’t interested in me, and vice versa.”

  “So what’s your type? Blonde, brunette, or redhead?”

  “Hair color doesn’t matter. I like professional women who are incredibly smart and have a lot of spunk. I really don’t like party girls.” He pointed at Benny’s hand which featured a nicked silver ring. “I see you’ve found Miss Right, and from the looks of that ring you found her a while ago.”

  “Thirty years. Best thing that ever happened to me.”

  Spencer leaned against a light pole as he sipped his coffee. “So what’s the secret of staying married so long in this day and age?”

  “Respect. Never take your wife for granted. And don’t stop dating after you get married.”

  Spencer’s eyes widened. “You have affairs, Benny?”

  “Hell, no. I meant you still take your wife out on dates. We go out to dinner and a movie every Saturday night. I still open doors for her, bring her a rose now and then, little stuff that says I love you without the words. Just because you’re spending the rest of your life together doesn’t mean the courtship ends. Too many couples start out as lovers and end up as roommates. And a lot of couples from your generation end up divorced.”

  “You’re a wise man, Benny.” His cell rang and he pulled it from his pocket. “Well, excuse me, gotta go. Enjoy the beautiful day.”

  “You should take some time to do the same, Spence.”

  *

  Tish jogged across the street and noted her watch read seven-twenty-nine. If the white knight was always there between seven-thirty and eight, she wanted to be early.

  Benny shrugged at her and put his palms up as she walked toward the cart. “You just missed him again.”

  She shook her head. “You said he’s here between seven-thirty and eight.”

  “He was early today, what can I say?”

  “I’ll keep trying.”

  “Well, Tish from the hotel, this is not to say your trip was totally in vain. I did manage to acquire some information about the gentleman that may interest you.”

  Her eyes widened as she perked up. “Really? What’d you get?”

  “You want orange juice?”

  “Yeah. So what’d you get?”

  He handed her a bottle. “Not married. Never been married. So no baggage to check.”

  “Well, that’s half the battle. You get anything else?”

  “Do I look like an amateur?”

  “No. C’mon, c’mon, what else you got?

  Benny shot her a sly grin. “No girlfriend.”

  “And there’s the other half of a perfect answer.” She couldn’t hold back a smile. “I’m honestly very surprised.”

  “I was too. He mentioned that the women he’s interested in never feel the same about him. And something about the stars not aligning for him yet.”

  “So there’s hope for me.”

  “Well, that depends.”

  “On what?”

  “If your stars and his stars are in the same constellation.”

  “What, you’re into astrology?”

  “No, I meant if you’re his type.”

  She nodded. “So you actually found out what kind of women he finds attractive?”

  “Young lady, you give Benny a chance to play matchmaker, he will not disappoint. I’m better than a Jewish mother, even though I’m an Irish father. By the end of the week I’ll have a complete dossier in your hands with all his likes and dislikes.”

  “Yeah, yeah, so what’s he lookin’ for? C’mon, dish.”

  “You’re such an impatient little thing.”

  “I’m not exactly little.”

  “Well, you’re a helluva lot better looking than that bag-o-bones supermodel who drops by every day and has Diet Coke and cigarettes for lunch.”

  “Thank you, but we’re getting off track, Benny. So what’s his type?”

  “I started by asking him if he liked blondes, brunettes or redheads and he said hair color didn’t matter. He’s a head man.”

  Her eyes went wide. “Excuse me? If he’s looking for a girl to spend all her time on her knees—”

  “I didn’t mean that! Geez, your mind is in the gutter!” He tapped his head. “I meant he wants a woman with a great head on her shoulders. A guy might be a leg man, a boob man…or in this case a head man. You get what I’m sayin’?”

  “Never heard it put quite that way. You might want to retire that particular designation, especially when talking to a woman.”

  “Yeah, I guess you could take it the wrong way. Anyway, what Spence from the block wants is a professional woman who is really smart and spunky.” Benny studied her face. “I don’t know you well enough to tell if you fit the bill, but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. Already know you have an attitude.”

  “Very funny.”

  “I meant that as a compliment.”

  “Nice save, Mister. Anything else?”

  “He got a call while we were talking and had to take off.”

  “That seems to happen with him. Well, you still cleared up a lot, Benny. Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  “So now that you know he’s unattached, does that change your strategy?”

  “It just gives me hope. I still need to meet the guy.”

  “I think you need a different approach.”

  “How so?”

  “He said he likes professional women. So when you show up here, don’t do it in a jogging outfit.”

  She nodded. “Point taken.”

  “What do you do for a living?”

  “Lawyer.”

  “So you must have nice clothes.”

  “I do.”

  “So, see you tomorrow, Tish from the hotel? All dolled up?”

  “Not dolled up, but professional.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Tish enjoyed being one of the rotating guests for the weekly legal show on one of New York City’s talk radio stations. Giving free legal advice to people who couldn’t afford it was an easy way to give back. It was an hour every few weeks that had actually brought her a few paying clients over the years. It was a good strategy to get her name “out there” when she first got out of law school and also helped her develop a reputation as a lawyer who was on the side of good. The show had a sizable listening audience. She’d often said, on the air, that she turned down clients with whom her philosophy differed. Anyone looking up her track record would discover she wasn’t kidding.

  The studio was freezing cold as always, since broadcast equipment had to be kept from overheating. She adjusted her headset as the middle-aged host, James Berger, handed her a cup of hot chocolate and took a seat opposite her. “How’s it going, Tish? I’m surprised to see you after the thing with your house.”

  She placed her hands around the mug to warm them. “Well, I’m luc
ky to be alive, so I’m counting my blessings. A house can be repaired. In the grand scheme of things, it’s just a thing.”

  “Very true. But that was an incredible story about your cat.”

  “Yeah, she saved my life. I don’t think I can feed her enough treats. Anyway, I’m living in a hotel during the week and with a friend on the weekend. I’ll be back in my house in a couple of months. Though right now it’s not my biggest problem.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded. “My biggest client was Clint Davies.”

  “Oh, hell. I couldn’t believe his company went under. Loved his products. I guess we’ll have to find you some new business. You want me to say something today?”

  “Nah, this show is for pro bono work. It would be tacky to solicit clients.”

  “That’s the reason the callers love you. The rare ethical attorney. Tell you what, though, I could toss you a little work myself. Since I’m getting married I could use one of those pre-nups. It’s not a big project but it might pay your light bill for a month or two.”

  “Pre-nup? You worried about your fiancée?”

  “Twenty-three year old bikini model marrying an overweight, balding guy of fifty? The thought that she wants me for my money has crossed my mind a time or two. And my friends refer to her with the G-word.”

  “G-word?”

  “Golddigger.”

  Tish shook her head. “Why do guys like you date women like that?”

  He flashed a wicked grin as his eyebrows did a little jump. “Because we can.”

  “Very funny. Typical man.”

  “Anyway, if she refuses to sign it I’ll know she’s in it for the money.”

  “In other words, you won’t have any trouble finding another young bikini model?”

  “Fame is an incredible aphrodisiac. You’d be amazed at the women who approach me. And I know damn well they wouldn’t give me the time of day if I worked at the post office.”

  “Well, best of luck with your marriage. And I appreciate the business but hope I will not have to handle your divorce proceedings. A new client is welcome right now. Though I will tell you it would be a lot cheaper for you to buy yourself a nice mid-life crisis convertible.”

  “Already got one of those. It’s how I met her. The thing is a chick magnet.”

  “Well, so much for that theory. You sure you want legal advice from me?”

  “Absolutely. Anyway, I’ll come to your office this week and bring you a list of my assets.”

  “Sure. And I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “You won’t have much to talk about. She ain’t exactly Stephen Hawking.” He put on his headset and adjusted the microphone. “Here we go.”

  *

  Spencer started eating the chicken parmigiana he’d brought back to the office for lunch. Usually he listened to the sports talk radio station whenever he ate at his desk, but last week he’d heard about a show featuring lawyers giving free legal advice and wanted to check it out. He took a bite of his meal as he flipped on the radio.

  “And welcome to Legal Briefs, I’m James Berger and our attorney in the house today is Tish McKenna—”

  His jaw dropped a bit, sending a bit of red sauce onto his red silk tie. Thankfully it matched pretty well. He quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped it off, then turned up the volume on the radio.

  “…amazing that you even showed up today after your house caught on fire. I know our audience appreciates it.”

  “Well, in the grand scheme of things, a house is just a thing that can be repaired. As a lawyer it’s more important to put lives back together when you can.”

  “Damn, I like that. Her stock just went up.”

  “And that’s why Tish has always been a welcome guest on this show for so many years. Anyway, if you have a legal question, she will be here for the next hour to hopefully point you in the right direction. Our number is…”

  Spencer took a sip of club soda as he grabbed a pen and wrote down the phone number.

  Apparently Mrs. Spock was still a walking law library. Spencer sat in amazement at her ability to cite obscure cases without missing a beat while answering questions from the callers. The woman was much too fast to be looking stuff up on a computer while on the air.

  She was still smarter than he was.

  But what really surprised him was how she did it with such personality. The woman was a quick wit and very conversational on the air. Casual, almost, as she had a genuine rapport with the host and the callers as well. She’d obviously changed quite a bit. There was more to her than the cold, focused student he’d seen in law school.

  Then again, he’d changed a lot since law school too…

  And, of course, that voice of hers was mesmerizing. If she ever got tired of the law she had a real future as a narrator for erotic novels.

  He finished his lunch, then paused a moment, wondering if this was the right thing to do. “Ah, what the hell.” He grabbed the phone and called the number to the talk show.

  Busy.

  He hit the redial button.

  Five tries later the phone began to ring and then the call connected. “This is Big Apple talk radio, do you have a question for our attorney?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Need your first name and where you’re calling from.”

  “This is Joe from Manhattan.”

  “What’s your question, Joe?”

  “I’d like to know…what should a client look for when choosing an attorney?”

  “Okay, Joe, I’ve got two callers ahead of you and then you’ll be up. Remember to turn your radio down when it’s your turn.”

  “Got it, thanks.”

  “I’m going to put you on hold now but you’ll be able to hear the show. Please, no profanity as we do have a seven second delay.”

  “Not a problem.”

  He turned off his radio as he heard her voice through the phone. Her answer to his question would tell him a lot.

  Ten minutes and one commercial break later, it was his turn. “Okay, we’ve got Joe from Manhattan. Joe, you’re on live with Tish McKenna.”

  “Hi, Ms. McKenna, thanks for taking my call.”

  “Sure thing, Joe. What’s your question this afternoon?”

  “This is pretty simple compared to what everyone else is asking. You mentioned earlier that you only choose a certain type of client. So let’s reverse the point of view. Basically, what should someone look for when choosing a lawyer?”

  “Well, Joe, that depends on the case and what kind of person you are. Some people are out for blood and will hire the biggest shark they can find. Others base the choice on money. Some people think an expensive lawyer will be better than one who charges less, and that’s not true. My advice to you is to find a lawyer whose values are closest to yours. And you want a lawyer who honestly cares about you. If an attorney is simply in it for the money, you’re not going to get the kind of representation you would from one who not only believes in your case, but you as well. I’m not saying you need to pick a lawyer like you’d choose a friend, but I will say that at least in my case, I fight a lot harder for someone who I care about. It’s one reason I never take a case where I don’t feel a client is in the right.”

  “That’s very noble, Ms. McKenna.”

  “Well, if you saw me in court sometimes, you might not call me noble.”

  “Actually I did see you in court recently, and I will tell your audience that you owned the room and seriously kicked butt. The opposing lawyer didn’t stand a chance. You wiped the floor with her star witness.”

  He heard Tish and the host laugh. “Well, thank you for the compliment, and thanks for calling, Joe. Best of luck in your search for an attorney.”

  The call ended and Spencer turned the radio back on.

  “Well, there goes your reputation as a nice person,” said the host. “I guess I need to drop by the courthouse and see who I’ve been dealing with all these years.”

  “James, you can still be
nice, but you have to fight with all your heart for every client. The jury has to actually feel your passion, believe in your cause. If they think your heart’s not in it, they’ll be less likely to consider your argument. But once the trial starts, my gloves come off. You can be really tough as long as you’re fair.”

  He heard Ariel return to the office and her heel clicks on the marble floor approaching his office. “I’m back!” she yelled.

  “Come on in, you gotta hear this. Hurry up!”

  “Okay, okay, I’m coming. What the hell is so urgent?” She entered his office, tossed her jacket on a chair and cocked her head at the radio. “That’s not WFAN. Why aren’t you listening to sports talk?”

  “This is that legal call-in show we heard about the other day.”

  “Oh, yeah. Is it any good?”

  He heard Tish’s voice come through the speaker. “Recognize the voice?”

  She listened a bit, then her eyes grew wide. “Oh my God, that’s your courtroom crush!”

  “Yep. And what a brilliant legal mind. The woman is amazing. She can answer the most obscure questions off the top of her head.”

  “Still smarter than you, huh?”

  “Yep.”

  “Does that bother you?”

  “Just the opposite. Anyway…uh…I called her.”

  “You called a woman to ask her out on a radio show?”

  “Jeez, Ariel, do you think I’m that clueless when it comes to women?”

  Ariel stood up straight and folded her arms. “You really want me to answer that?”

  “Counsel withdraws the question, your honor. Anyway, I called with a legal problem.”

  “You tried to stump her?”

  “Nope. Don’t think I could. I asked what a person should look for in a lawyer. And from the way she responded she sounds like one of the most ethical attorneys on the planet. Only takes good clients.”

  “I think the universe is trying to tell you something.” Ariel listened to the radio for a moment and heard the woman crack a joke. “Also sounds like she’s grown a personality. Does this sound like the gal you knew in college?”

  “Not remotely.”

  “Interesting. So what’s your strategy now?”

  He shrugged. “Since you implied that I’m clueless about women, I will admit that I have no clue. But I have to meet her. You got any more ideas since she didn’t show up at the class reunion thing?”