by Nic Tatano
“Don’t know if it will do you any good,” said A.J. “She’s probably hacked into the city’s traffic cams.”
Rory shook her head. “I tried, but their security system is too good.”
*
Spencer arrived at his office to find Ariel sitting at her desk. She bit her lip as she looked up at him, obviously trying not to laugh. “Okay, Ariel, what’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing. I, uh, read a funny joke on the internet.” She snickered a bit.
He gave her face a closer look and knew she was lying. “C’mon, out with it.”
“You had some…deliveries…this morning. They’re in your office. On your desk.”
“This oughta be good.” He headed to his office and couldn’t help but laugh at what he saw.
His desk, covered with dollar bills and condoms. A steel pole on a stand in the corner. A small wrapped package with a bow on it. “Very nice, very nice.”
Ariel couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out laughing. “I heard about your plus one. Actually, I think everyone heard about her.”
“Well, there were a couple hundred lawyers and a few judges at the wedding. I don’t wanna go near the courthouse for a while. God knows what Judge Barrow thinks of me. And I’m gonna kill Chad for setting me up with her. I’m meeting him today for lunch and I will get even.”
“I must say, as practical jokes go, it sounds like a good one. He showed me her picture when he came by this morning to drop all this off. Sorry I missed it. A guy like you on a date with a girl who looked like a stripper.”
“Yeah, she was the polar opposite of quietly beautiful.”
She pointed at the package. “So, you gonna open your gift?”
“You obviously already know what’s in there, right?”
She shrugged and looked at the ceiling. “I can neither confirm nor deny the contents—”
“Yeah, right.” He opened the package and found an assortment of porn movies. “Very funny. Ah, and such clever titles. You’ve Got Male. Frisky Business. My Bare Lady.” He started picking up the dollar bills. “I’m keeping the cash. I earned it. Consider it combat pay.”
“So, she was that bad, huh?”
He shook his head. “I’ve never been more embarrassed to be with a woman in my life. However, the night actually ended very well.”
“Oh my God, Spence, you slept with her?”
“Give me some credit, Ariel.”
“Well, beneath the classy Boy Scout exterior lies the male of the species. She looked like every man’s fantasy.”
“She wasn’t mine. Anyway, guess who else was at the wedding?”
“Hopefully not a photographer from Page Six.”
“Nope. The object of my affections of late. Tish McKenna.”
“Oh, shit. And she saw you with a cheap bimbo? Damn, Spence, I’m so sorry. Did she say anything?”
He laughed. “No, listen, she actually helped me out.” He told her the story. “So the evening turned out well.” He blushed a bit.
“Well, how about that. I know you never kiss and tell, but from the look on your face I can tell without you saying anything. So I’ll just ask you if there were sparks?”
“Oh yeah. Enough chemistry to blow up a lab. ”
She took his chin in her hand and studied his face. “Yep. My sweetheart of a partner is definitely smitten.”
He held out his wrists as if to be handcuffed. “Guilty as charged. It was all I could do not to call her yesterday to see if she wanted to spend the day together.”
“Glad you didn’t. Women like that don’t want to be smothered and usually like to take things slow. I can tell you’re excited about this one but do your best to play it cool. So, you’re taking her out Saturday, right?”
“Yep.”
“Where are you taking her?”
“No clue. Need your help on this.”
“What, you can’t come up with a place to have dinner and a good movie?”
“She’s different, Ariel. I want to really make an impression on her. So give me some ideas that will really impress a smart woman.”
She tapped one finger on her chin. “Hmmm. I just thought of something you have obviously overlooked.”
*
Spencer shook his head at Chad as he headed toward the table where his friend was already seated. His tall, burly law school chum stood up to shake his hand. “I can tell from your look that you’re plotting some revenge.”
“I haven’t started yet, but I wouldn’t let my guard down if I were you. You never know when an Acme anvil might drop on your head. And you might want to get someone else to start your car for a while.”
They both took their seats. Chad couldn’t help but laugh. “You have to admit, she was not what you expected.”
“That’s putting it mildly. Where the hell did you find a girl like that?”
“A buddy of mine dated her a couple of times, which, as you can imagine, is about as much as anyone with a brain could stand since she has the IQ of a potted plant to go with a pickled liver. He said the girl should live on Coney Island because she qualifies as a carnival ride. And considering you came back to the reception, I assume you did not partake of that excursion.”
“Didn’t have a prescription for penicillin handy. Besides, she was out cold and I like my women conscious. So what possessed you to fix me up with her?”
“Oh, we all thought since you have such a thing for super classy women we’d set you up with someone who was the direct opposite. And I knew you would show up since you’re such a good friend of the bride.”
Spencer picked up the menu. “I was worried she’d be upset. I hope everyone knows it was a joke.”
“Yep. Even the bride and groom. However, we did not foresee the sprained ankle scenario and you sending her over to my table to dance. Very quick thinking on your part.”
“Actually it was someone else’s idea. So did you enjoy that bump and grind?”
“Actually, since she didn’t talk it was not unpleasant. Hell, she offered to do me in the coat room. Hard to turn down a girl with a body like that, but I didn’t have any antibiotics either.”
“Gotta love old fashioned girls. By the way, you’re paying today and I’m ordering the lobster.”
“Fine, you deserve it. Meanwhile we all found it rather curious that you returned and spent the rest of the evening with a woman who did seem to be your type. So what’s the story on the tall classy-looking blonde? She’s kinda pretty. Nice body. Got some dangerous curves.”
“Met her last week and had lunch. We really hit it off and I’m seeing her again this weekend. By the way, you’ve already met her.”
Chad shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“Don’t feel bad, I didn’t recognize her either. It was a long time ago. She was in our class at law school. I think you even sat next to her in the front row. Remember our valedictorian? Mrs. Spock?”
Chad’s eyes widened. “That’s the Vulcan attorney? Damn, she’s changed. And if you like her she must have grown a personality.”
He smiled as he nodded. “She has. And you should see the woman in court. She’d blow me away if I ever went up against her. Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone with her style. But it’s devastating.”
“Huh. How about that, number one and number two in our graduating class are dating. Anyway, back to the wedding reception, I saw you leave with her at closing time. Did you—”
“No, of course not. You know I don’t do one-nighters.”
“You must have hit it off if you’re going to see her again.”
“Yep. Actually I can’t wait.”
Chad studied his face. “This one’s different, huh?”
“Yeah. She seems really special. I get a good feeling about her. But it’s early.”
“Knowing you as I do, you’ll take your time.”
*
Tish arrived at Benny’s cart on Tuesday morning, not seeing Spence. “Hi, Benny.”
H
e turned and smiled. “Hey, Tish from the hotel.” He reached into the cooler and handed her a bottle of orange juice. “You missed him. He was here earlier. Had some meeting in the suburbs and got an early start.”
“Well, I’m meeting him for lunch tomorrow anyway.”
“So, I must assume that went well last week. Considering how long you guys were in the restaurant.”
Tish shook her head. “Good God, is everyone spying on me?”
“Not spying. Look, I’m here all day and the restaurant is in my line of sight.”
“Uh-huh. Maybe if you crane your neck around the utility pole.”
“What can I say, matchmaking is fun. Besides, my two daughters are married and I miss looking out for a single woman.”
“Nice save. But anyway, yeah, lunch was great, we’re on the same page. Lot in common. He’s really nice.”
“And how was the wedding?”
“What, you following me too?”
“Geez, Tish, get with the program. Spence told me about it and how you saved him from some cheap floozy.”
“He told you?” She stood up straight, eyes wide. “Really? What did he say?”
“Sorry, I’m not that kind of matchmaker and this isn’t high school. Suffice it to say the interest you have in him…well, the feeling is mutual.”
She couldn’t hold back a smile. “That’s all I get? No details?”
“Sorry, that’s it. I will not share the other side’s playbook. But at least you know I’m not giving him anything either. I simply bring two compatible souls together. It’s up to you guys to make the connection. However…”
“Yeah?”
“I will say I feel very good about this one.”
“This one? You’ve done this before?”
“Three times.”
“And?”
“All couples still happily married.”
“That’s really impressive, Benny.”
“I have a knack for knowing when two people go together.”
“And you feel that about me and Spence?”
“Big time. Actually, more so than the previous three.”
CHAPTER TEN
Madison and Nick had already gone out for Saturday night when Tish answered the door to find a smiling Spence. “You’re early again. I’m impressed.”
“Well, you did give me that warning when we met. I didn’t want to risk showing up one minute late and you not being here.”
“That directive only applied to the first meeting, counselor. However, should you ever stand me up there will be hell to pay. A.J. is Sicilian and I have her on retainer.”
“I’ve never stood up a woman. Definitely not starting with you.” He gave her outfit the once-over. “You look great, as usual.”
She noted he filled out a dark gray windowpane suit perfectly. “So do you.”
All of a sudden Socks and Bumper went flying through the room, chasing each other.
“What was that?”
“Cats. One’s mine, one’s Madison’s. They’re from the same litter so they like to play.”
Then they raced by in the other direction. “Damn, they’re fast. It was like a blur of fur.”
“They’re still young and have a lot of energy. Unlike me.”
“Oh, stop it. What are you, twenty-eight?”
“Okay, now I know you’re being silly. We graduated the same year so obviously we’re about the same age.”
He shrugged. “Not necessarily. You’re so damn smart you could have graduated college at fifteen.”
“Okay, Mister, enough. I already like you, so dial it down a notch.”
“You like me! You really like me!”
“What are you, Sally Field?”
“Sorry, couldn’t resist. But you do look a lot younger than the other people in our class. Anyway, you ready to roll?”
“Sure.” She locked the door and they headed to his car. “So where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Tish saw the name of the place in neon as they pulled into the parking lot. “The Magic Act? I thought we were going to dinner.”
“We are. It’s a restaurant and the waiters are magicians.”
“Really? Sounds pretty cool.”
“This may be the most entertaining meal you’ve ever had. Hope you like magic.”
“Who doesn’t? I loved it when I was little. Haven’t seen a good magic show in ages.”
He led her to the box office where he paid for two tickets, then headed inside. A thin, middle-aged man in a tuxedo and a cape greeted them, then with a flourish produced a rose out of thin air, bowed, and handed it to Tish. “For the lovely lady.”
“Why, thank you.” She breathed in the beautiful fragrance.
Spence furrowed his brow. “Nothing for me?”
“Sir, may I remind you that you already have the company of the lovely lady, hence you are not in need of anything else. Be careful with that attitude or I will make you disappear, sweep her off her feet and carry her away!” He turned to Tish. “Of course, should you wish to retain your current escort, I would suggest you hold on tight to him.”
She grabbed his arm.
“That is not tight enough! I may still steal you away!”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close. The scent of his cologne made her pulse spike a bit. “How’s this?”
“Excellent.” He turned back to Spence. “Alas, I have demonstrated my magical abilities to make your date give you a hug!” He lowered his voice and leaned forward. “Buddy, this is the part of the performance when the gentleman tips me.”
Spence wrapped one arm around Tish’s shoulders, then pulled a bill from his pocket with his free hand and gave it to the magician. “Well worth it. Do you have anything so she won’t let me go?”
“Yes, but I do not know how long the spell will last.” He threw his hands at her and waved his fingers as if casting a spell. “Young lady, since your escort has tipped me generously, you will be unable to release him regardless of how hard you try.”
“Fine with me.”
“Excellent! I will be back later!” He did a quick about-face, his cape spinning in the air as he headed off to greet the other guests.
Tish laughed as she turned to Spence. “What a character. I already like this place.”
“Good. They had a show like this out in Vegas but it’s not there anymore, so a bunch of New York magicians started something similar here. The food is excellent as well. And they change the show every few months.”
They were ushered with the rest of the crowd into a large round room. The magician who had greeted them entered and closed the door. “Welcome, honored guests. You are about to enter an alternate universe. Where nothing is as it seems, because it is a world ruled by magic.” He pressed a button on the wall and suddenly the room began to move.
Tish grabbed Spence’s arm. “Whoa. What is this, a giant elevator? Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
The magician crossed to the other side of the room as the motion stopped and the lights dimmed. “We have descended into the realm of the impossible. But seeing is believing!” He opened the double doors and the crowd moved into a large dining hall that looked like the inside of a castle.
“This is really cool.” Tish took in the medieval setting as she and Spence took their seats at a round table for eight. “How did you find this?”
“I know a lot of cool places.”
A young buxom brunette carrying a large pitcher arrived at their table and began filling their glasses with wine. “Good evening, I am your tavern wench Desdemona. Should you desire anything from the bar, please let me know and it will magically appear. Should you gentlemen desire me, know that I am not available unless you are fabulously wealthy.”
Everyone laughed as a waiter arrived, dressed as the first magician they’d met. He handed out a small index card to each patron. “Good evening, everyone, my name is Robert and I will be your magical h
ost tonight. There are four choices for dinner. Simply indicate your selection, put the cards in a stack and I will be back to gather them. It is not necessary that I take your order personally, as I will divine your selections and sort them through my magical powers. I will return shortly.”
Tish looked at the choices, then grabbed a pencil that was part of her place setting and checked off her choices. Everyone at the table placed the cards in a pile in the center. “So how do they know who ordered what?”
Spence shrugged. “Beats me. It’s magic. But they’re never wrong.”
The food arrived fifteen minutes later. The magician started to slide a steak in front of Tish, but as she was about to correct him, he stopped. “Ah, that’s right. You ordered the salmon.” He swapped out the plates much to her delight.
“How did you know?”
He simply tapped his forehead. “Magical powers.”
“Ah.” She turned back to her meal and then realized she was missing one utensil. “Excuse me, I don’t have a fork. Could you bring one when you get a chance?”
The magician nodded and studied her face, then shook his finger at her. “Do not play games with me, young lady. Hiding things will not curry you any favor.” He reached behind her head and pulled out a fork, then handed it to her. “We do not take kindly to the pilfering of silverware. I’d better not catch you with sterling in your hair again or I will slice you in half and not put you back together.”
Everyone laughed as Tish said, “I’ll behave.”
“See that you do.” He clapped his hands and spread them wide. “Everyone, please enjoy your dinner and I shall return soon.”
She turned to her date. “Spence, this is a blast.”
“Glad you’re enjoying one of my favorite things.”
After an excellent meal with a few magic tricks sprinkled in they were led into a theater for the main show. Tish grabbed his hand and led him toward the front. “I’ve always liked being in the first row for magic shows.”
“Sure, but you should realize they do tend to single out people who sit up front.”
“Hey, I want to see their tricks up close so I can try to figure them out.”
“Have you ever figured out tricks before?”
She picked out seats in the first row, right in the middle. “No, but there’s always a first time.”
