Once Upon A Rock Star

by Yessi Smith

  I knew I had lost my baby before the doctor told me. I lay there for hours mourning the loss on my own. It was the hardest thing I have been through in my life to lie there and think of what could have been and the decisions I had to make.

  I was lucky to be alive, and yet I didn’t feel lucky at all. On a drastic whim, after noticing my backpack sitting in a chair in the corner, I rang the buzzer for the nurse. To my surprise, it wasn’t her who walked in. It was a short, young woman around my age. Dark hair and deep, caring green eyes. Her name was Caroline. She worked as a nurse’s aide part time while attending Loyola University. I pulled myself out of my stupor, asked her for my bag, and made the call that would change my life.

  Caroline didn’t say a word before she walked out and closed the door. Somehow, I knew she was out there waiting. It took everything I had in me to tell Roman. My heart silently cried when his first words were why didn’t I tell him. How did I think I could drive across the country alone when I barely drove around our town. He was hurt. I became angry. And then he begged me to forgive him. Told me he would be there to get me as soon as he could. I didn’t hang around, and to this day I wish I had. I let him go. I had to. Our lives were going in the wrong direction.

  Caroline came back in, and without saying a word again, she held me in her arms while I continued to mourn the loss of the man I loved most of my life and the child we created.

  The weeks that followed led me down a different road. One where I moved in with Caroline, who is still my best friend. The woman is a sister to me. I don’t think anyone knows me better than she does. Not that I have many friends to choose from. I tend to work a little too hard to try and make time for friends.

  I threw away my phone, walked away from the other half of my soul and I’ve been living half of a life since. I wasn’t about to have him give up on his dream. I switched my major and enrolled in Loyola, where I unexpectedly decided to become a lawyer and vowed to never rely on anyone except myself again.

  Caroline and I were both sick of the cold winters by the time we finished school. So, I applied to every firm on the west coast I could find. I had prayed I would intern in Los Angeles, where Caroline had already been placed to do her residency. With a stroke of luck and hours of proving I wasn’t a minnow in the shark pool waiting to be swallowed up, Clark & Associates hired me. I’ve been working between LA and their San Diego office ever since.

  “Ms. Reynolds, did you hear me?”

  “I’m…I’m sorry, Your Honor,” I stutter, trying to shake the ghosts that are sticking to me like glue away. I peer up to meet his sad yet disapproving eyes.

  “Your client is free to go provided he doesn’t leave the county, and the court, along with the district attorney’s office, will take into consideration your plea and contact you. I would like to advise both you and Mr. Nixon to stay clear of the press for a while.” I sigh in relief. I need to get the hell out of here before I crack.

  “We certainly will. Thank you, Your Honor.” We rise. Roman nor I have spoken one word to each other since I last saw him sitting in jail. A place where he does not belong. The only thing he’s done was wince when I admitted the woman he was defending was me.

  I’m not sure what to even say at this point. I drove up here in a rush last night after agreeing to do this. I haven’t slept at all. Now that it’s over, I would like to go back home and drink myself into a coma.

  “Thank you for helping me. Can we go somewhere and talk, please?” Oh, God. I can’t do this right now or do I?

  I’m not sure how long I stand next to him with the thought I may never see him again pounding for me to open the door to my chest so he can jump in and take over. I know it's long enough for everyone but Marcus to wander out of here and leave us alone. It doesn’t matter that we are in a public courtroom. All I want to do is throw myself into his arms and finally allow him to ease the voided ache inside of me that’s been there since the day he left.

  There really isn't any reason for me to stay though, is there. Many miles and years have separated us. Fear sits there like a fuming sphere thrusting me toward an anxiety attack. I won’t let it win, nor will I give in to the craving to have him hold me.

  It took me a long time to become the strong woman I am. I might be in the spotlight in court, but to have the entire world look at me now is enough to make me throw up.

  “No, we can’t. There isn’t anything to talk about, Roman. I’ve done my job. Consider it pro bono. I’ll contact Marcus once I hear from the courts. I’m almost positive the charges will be dropped. Just please stay away from those sons of bitches like you were asked.” I shuffle the few notes I jotted down into my briefcase, turn on my heels, and halt. “It wasn’t your fault, you know. None of it. It was mine. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I’m sorry, Roman. Sorry for everything.” There’s a quiver in my voice. If I don’t walk away now, I’ll never get out of here. I shuffle forward, latch my hand around the door only to feel the heat coming from him directly behind me.

  “Don’t do this, Joslyn. For one, you need to let Marcus lead you out of here. Two, I really wish we could go somewhere to talk. Three, please tell me you are not married?” he murmurs. His hands are caging me in as the front of his body presses up against my back. I glance at Marcus, who has his back to us, his phone to his ear. Nice. The man is probably used to seeing shit like this from his clients.

  “Quit saying my name like that. Why do you care if I’m married or not?” The way he says my name as if he wants to bury himself inside of me sends a sharp pang to my core. I try to push him off me. Totally the wrong thing to do. Roman is hard everywhere. I feel his erection for a brief second before I’m spun around to face him. His eyes drift from my mouth to my neck to my chest and back up to catch me in his web. This man has me whimpering inside, and quite frankly, that scares me. There’s so much bottled up in there I’m ready to combust.

  “I can’t stop saying it. I’ve kept Joslyn Reynolds locked away in my mind for years. I searched for you. Did you know that? You and me, we have unfinished business to talk about. You are not leaving. Do you get me? Answer the question. Are you married?” I scoff. I should lie and tell him yes.

  “No, I’m not. And yes, Roman. I knew you would search for me. I’m sorry. God, help me I am.” His eyes flare. If my arms weren’t locked down tight at my sides, I’d throw out an uppercut and knock him on his ass the same way he did to the bastard who started my spiral back to Hell again.

  Both of our gazes drop when his hand slides up the inside of my bare thigh. His touch ignites a flame that’s been snuffed out for a long, long time. I do everything in my power to overturn the trembling at the bolt of electricity that strikes my core and makes me wet. His need is much more noticeable than mine, but if I allow him to inch any higher, it won’t be. I’ll be soaking the barely-there thong I‘m wearing.

  His touch is so damn potent to my soul. I cannot deny it feels good, not even to myself. I slide my eyes back up his firm body; his chest is heaving as much as mine. He looks so darn good it’s making my eyes hurt. I feel myself weakening everywhere.

  “I swear to God, if this place didn’t have cameras, I’d turn you over my knee and spank your ass until it’s as red as your dress. Don’t you ever apologize to me again for something that you had no control over. I was in shock. I said the wrong thing, and I’ve lived with those words burning a hole in my gut for too long. Now, tell me this. Are you going to deny the chemistry floating in the air between us? I can hear it ready to crack. I can smell it filling the air. You can run back home. Just remember I’m coming for you this time, and when I do, you better be prepared. The way I see things is, the love we shared has always been strong enough to make me not forget a thing when it comes to you. It’s unstoppable. Fate brought you to me. I hated her until you walked back into my life today. I’ll be fucking damned if I’m not grabbing hold of what’s been given to me. I’m sorry you lost our, baby. I’m sorry for the pain these couple of days have caused y
ou. What I won’t apologize for is wanting you so bad my dick aches. It’s going to happen. I’m going to fuck you like you used to want me to. I’m going to make you come until you see the moon, the stars, and the sun. Welcome to my team, Miss Reynolds. You’ve just become my full-time attorney, and I’m not taking no from you for an answer ever again.”

  Chapter Three

  Roman

  I nearly flew over the top of her to choke the shit out of the District Attorney when he greeted her. All polished with his hair sleeked back, expensive pansy ass suit. Hand resting on her back. I wanted to break his fingers one by one.

  I let him get away with it because the truth was, I was more concerned about what all of this was doing to her. Why she showed up to help me when she not once sought me out before this. I understand it’s her name being tossed around. But for her to show up to help me now didn’t make a lick of sense at first.

  It does now. I get it without even having to ask her. The guilt is eating away at her too. This incredible woman gave me up so I could follow through with my dream. It should piss me off that she never returned my calls and walked away without a backward glance. It doesn’t. If anything, it makes me want her all the more. Call me dumb, crazy, stupid or whatever else. This is my life, my story and I’ll do what I want. I have no one tying me down to give and take the only thing I’ve ever wanted to please and possess.

  My firm dick jolts when a slight gasp escapes her mouth. I can see the speedy rap of her pulse on the side of her neck. I place my mouth over it, lick and suck. Smile over the quickening struggles of her heavy breath. She’s turned the fucked on. That’s all the proof I need to show me that what I just threatened her with more than likely has her wet between those heavenly thighs. What I wouldn’t give right now to drop to my knees and eat her the fuck out. I’m so lost in her that I don’t hear Marcus walk up behind me.

  “Hate to break this up, but I need to get her out of here. Give us five then walk on out, and for fuck’s sake, don’t say a word. I don’t care what they try and goad you with.”

  As long as I’ve known Marcus and as close as he is with everyone in the band, he has not once gone behind our backs and done a damn thing without running it by us first. The guy holds many secrets inside the vault he calls his head. We aren’t his only clients with secrets. Ours are minor compared to some of the shit he’ll die with stored up there. How in the fuck he knew how to find Joslyn beats the shit out of me. I’m glad he did.

  I sat next to her barely listening to anyone else. The sound of her voice had me in a trance. The smell of her all around me had my cock throbbing.

  The damn woman blew my fucking mind when she talked about me. Not sure if she really had been paying attention to my career all these years or not, but hearing the implication behind her words made me think she knows more about me than I do her.

  I knew she wouldn’t go down without fighting for what was right. Never did I think she would shove herself to the ground to make it loud and clear that not only what he did was wrong, but it costs her, too. A loss that still impacts every part of my being. In the beginning, there were days as if I felt I had a mental tornado running a rage through my skull and destroying everything in its path to make a beeline straight for my heart.

  “We need to get out of here, Roman. You two can cozy up another time.”

  My fingers tingle from her silky skin as I watch her tug open the door and walk away from me with Marcus by her side for the second time in less than two hours. I stand there trying to calm the hell down until I hear a scream rip from a woman’s throat so loud it pierces my ears and stabs me in the gut.

  It’s her.

  “Get off her, you crazy fucks.” I whip open the door to chaos all around as dozens of paparazzi surround Joslyn, while Markus hollers and tries to shove them away. How in the fuck did they get past security? Goddamn leeches. I hate them. Every last one.

  “Miss Reynolds, are you and Mr. Nixon back together? Can you tell us about your relationship with your co-worker Chad Clark? Have you ever tried looking for your parents? Roman and you were foster brother and sister, correct?” They are attacking her from every direction. Jesus fucking Christ. It’s like a sudden flash mob with a variety of lights going wild. All of them shoved in her face asking questions that will destroy her worse than she already is.

  “Hey, I’m not afraid to knock all of you on your asses. I don’t care if you’re a woman or not. Get the hell off her. She has nothing to say,” I holler, fists clenched tight at my sides. I shove as many of them out of my way until I reach a red-faced, angered Joslyn. Taking hold of her sweaty hand, I drag her right through the madness and back into the courtroom while the shouting continues and an alarm goes off. Marcus is used to this shit. It’s one of the things I pay him for, but this, this is a bunch of fucking bullshit.

  “You need to arrest every single one of those motherfuckers out there and sue the shit out of whoever they work for. I also suggest you get better security around here. There has to be a law about that bullshit I just witnessed out there. You okay?” I rotate toward Joslyn while telling the judge what I think of the crap I just witnessed when he steps out of his chamber all flustered-looking. He doesn’t even know what being flustered is.

  “I’m fine. Please just get me out of here.” She melts into my side. Closer to me than she’s been in years. Feels better than I remember. Except, I shouldn’t be holding her over what happened. I should be holding her because she wants me to. Apprehension. It’s stifling the air. Stiffens her body when I wrap my arms around her.

  “Trust me, Mr. Nixon, it will be handled. Ms.Reynolds, I apologize for what they did to you. I can assure you we will get to the bottom of this. You have my word. I can get an officer in here if you’d like to press harassment charges. If not, I can have one guide you safely through my private office. We can set up a car to take both of you wherever you need to go.”

  “We’d like to leave,” I answer for her. Cautiously. The last thing any of us need is these people hounding us more. It’s already spreading, and the ruckus isn’t even completely calmed down yet. It’s only the beginning of the shitstorm that’s about to rain down. I’m used to seeing how these inhuman fuckers work. Joslyn, not so much.

  We follow him through his chamber, out a side door, and down a long hallway. By the time we get to the exit door, he’s made a call, and there’s a dark exterior sedan with tinted windows waiting.

  “Get in.” I open the door while I look around for signs of a hoarder hiding in this alley. Satisfied there isn’t one, I nod my gratitude to the judge, slide in the car, and slam the door. I expect her to squawk and argue when I rattle off my home address. She does nothing but stare out the window as we pull out into traffic.

  I pull out my phone, tap out a quick text to Marcus to tell him to get ahold of my PR, and to schedule some sort of press release before this all blows out of proportion. I will not be undermined or ambushed like this again. I want to put a bullet in Gwen’s big fat mouth for starting this crap. She’s damn lucky I know for a fact she took off to the Caribbean in what she stated was a much-needed getaway to clear her head. Dumb bitch has nothing upstairs to clear.

  “You sure you're okay?” Instead of answering me, she reaches into her briefcase to retrieve her ringing phone.

  “Chad.” I cringe at the sound of another man’s name coming out of her mouth. He better be a fucking friend, or I’ll flip my shit. I’m not oblivious thinking she hasn’t been with other men; there’s something about the way she said his name that clings to my skin like dirt. The guy is important to her. Goddamn it.

  “I know. I’ll be home soon.” Her voice waivers on confusion. She’s angry and scared. I don’t think so, baby. You aren’t going anywhere. Not after that scene back there. Joslyn isn’t fooling anyone. She’s strong in all kinds of ways yet fragile in ways she hides. It’s as if she’s sheltered all her pain away to calm everyone else down. It’s always been that way with her. Putting others before
herself while shoving her own feelings down. It’s no wonder she sacrificed her face to help mine.

  “I’m here to tell you it’s going to be a while before you can go home. Might even keep you with me the entire week the band is on break from touring. These people are not the respectable red carpet reporters. There’s a difference. The paparazzi will chase someone down in order to snap the right photo. They’ve run people off the road, chased them into alleys, cornered their kids. They stalk, get away with it. You might want to warn your boyfriend about them snooping around.” She ignores me. Isn’t the right time for my cock to go crazy. He does. Her stubbornness turns me on. She’s lucky I can’t throw her over my shoulder and paddle her sweet little ass.

  “Excuse me. Can you take me to 1099 Hill Street, Please?” The driver eyes me, lingers on her a little too long for my liking, then shifts back to me again. I shake my head, push the button on the side of the door, and listen to her blow out a frustrated breath when the black glass divider crawls up.

  “Roman, this is not a game. We aren’t kids anymore. I have a life, and you have barged right into it and blown me over. I’m not going to your house with… wh—what are you doing?” Her loud voice carries throughout the car when I grip hold of her waist.

  “You’re right. This isn't a fucking game.” I shut her up by sliding her ass over, pressing gently on the exposed skin of her chest, and slamming my mouth on hers. Both of us tumble down. My hand is cradling the back of her head to fist her hair and save it from thumping on the armrest.

  Her never-forgotten taste consumes my mouth. Her curves pressed tightly to me have my hands wanting to rip this dress right the hell off her in order for me to sit back and admire all of her. I could do it for days, and I still wouldn’t get my eyeful. Her mouth. God, her mouth; it’s as wicked as it is sweet. I’d die a happy man to have her mouth wrapped around my cock. Well, not entirely true. I’m not ready to die yet. Not when I’ll fight with all I’ve got to have her back in my life.