Once Upon A Rock Star

by Yessi Smith

  Amidst screams and flashes, we finally made it into the new restaurant in downtown Seattle.

  It had fancy burgers and the best friends I’d ever had, plus a full bar, and sushi, so basically it had everything I’d ever wanted while pregnant but couldn’t have.

  I almost made a beeline for the sushi when I saw someone I knew.

  And then more someones.

  And soon I realized.

  The entire restaurant was filled with our friends.

  I burst into tears.

  So lame.

  Kiersten ran toward me with Fallon close behind, the rest of the girls — Alyssa, Nat, Pris, Ang, and Dani — all of them either married to pop stars or actors, rushed toward me as the guys all waited in the background hovering around the food like they hadn’t eaten in years.

  Rockstars AD2 laughed with Zane, and hollywood heart throb Lincoln Greene stood off to the left with action star Jamie Jaymeson and Wes.

  My friends.

  All of them.

  People I’d cried with, laughed with.

  Some I hadn’t seen in years because of tour schedules.

  The minute Nat reached me, I burst into tears.

  The rest of the girls huddled around us as Gabe came in behind and surrounded us, and then all the husbands were doing a little circle around us, only to have Demetri Daniels pipe up, “You’re so getting laid tonight.”

  I burst out laughing and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “Yeah he is.”

  Gabe gave Demetri a high five over the group of us just as a tray of champagne and bottled water was brought over to our small group.

  Gabe pulled me into his arms, then plucked a glass of champagne off the tray one for me, one for him, “Here’s to the most beautiful woman in the world.”

  We clinked glasses together.

  And I loved that when he said it, each man was looking at his wife.

  My heart was full.

  “I needed this.” I whispered hoarsely.

  “I know.” Gabe pressed a kiss to my mouth. “Because I need you just as much as you need this, your family.”

  Choked up I just shook my head.

  “All right, gorgeous,” Gabe kissed my forehead, “Let’s feed you before you get hangry.”

  “Here, here.” Alec grumbled just as his wife Nat stuck out her tongue.

  Wes hung back.

  I let go of Gabe’s hand and walked off, they had a connection I never competed with, because I would never win. They were like brothers that went to war together and came back with such a deep friendship you wouldn’t be able to understand it even if you tried.

  Chapter Six

  Gabe

  “You have that look.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “What look?” His face was a mask of complete innocence,

  “That one,” I pointed with my finger. “The one that says you’re seconds away from spouting some sort of inspiration bullshit that always makes me feel choked up and since both of us keep getting older and more emotional it’s embarrassing as hell.”

  He chuckled and then just shrugged.

  “I can’t handle the suspense.” I groaned, “Just say it so I can go eat.”

  “Seriously?” He looked away, smirk still in place. “I wasn’t going to say anything, not anything meaningful at least.”

  “Oh so the great Wes Michels, Quarterback for the Hawks is… speechless? In my presence?”

  “Kiss my ass,” He rolled his eyes, and held up his glass of champagne then jerked his head toward the crowd of people gathering around the sushi, our people. “Did you ever think this would be your life?”

  I looked in his direction. The world saw rockstars, celebrities, the high life. I just saw family. I saw blood. I saw love. “No.” I tried to lodge the golf ball in my throat. “I couldn’t have even dreamed it up if I wanted to.”

  “Thought so.” He took a sip of his champagne.

  “Thought so? That’s your speech?”

  “No speech, just… observations.”

  I sighed, “You know, I kind of miss the speech now that you’re all silent and brooding.”

  “I’m not brooding, I never brood.”

  “You brooded last year when you lost the championship.”

  He shoved me so hard I almost fell against the table.

  “Too soon?” I rubbed my arm.

  He glared. “Bellevue Bucks have it coming—I’m going to—“

  “—aw you look so, intense with your little all American haircut and—“

  I got shoved again.

  The guy had more muscle than me, I’d give him that. But he was a paid athlete, I just ran because I didn’t want to gas on stage.

  He pulled me in for a side hug then nodded again to the group, “We did good.”

  “No,” I corrected, “We did great.”

  We stared for a bit, before Demetri finally looked back at us with his arms open wide like we were taking forever to make it to the table.

  “He’s the pain in the ass,” I joked, “Not me.”

  “Just keep telling yourself that.” He slapped the back of my head as we made our way toward the group and then I stopped, and stared, really stared at my friends, at the love and support I’d always craved when I found fame at a young age.

  I’d wanted this so desperately.

  I’d begged for it.

  Prayed for it to a God I was convinced never listened or cared.

  Cried about it when my dad pushed me toward the rockstar lifestyle when I was too young to understand what it meant.

  And when I lost Kimmy at the age of sixteen.

  I left it all because it had scarred me.

  Nearly destroyed me.

  Only to return to the very thing that brought me pain — because it had been the same thing that brought me pleasure — purpose.

  The two often went hand in hand, you can’t find success without failure. You can’t find pleasure without walking through a shit ton of pain.

  Huh. I glanced back at Wes, he had a knowing look on his face. Jackass “wes micheled” me without even speaking.

  “Nice,” I nodded to him, “Real nice.”

  “You’re welcome.” Was all he said as I grabbed Saylor’s hand and kissed the back of it.

  Just because life looks good, doesn’t mean it took a lot of pain in order to make it to the place where you can smile again.

  Smiles are earned.

  Not given.

  Just like goodness.

  You gotta search for it.

  But damn it’s so worth it, when you hold it in your hands.

  Saylor squeezed back.

  Yeah, it was better than good.

  It was great.

  Also By Rachel Van Dyken

  Eagle Elite

  Elite

  Elect

  Entice

  Elicit

  Bang Bang

  Enchant

  Enforce

  Ember

  Elude

  Empire

  Enrage

  The Bet Series

  The Bet

  The Wager

  The Dare

  Seaside Series

  Tear

  Pull

  Shatter

  Forever

  Fall

  Strung

  Eternal

  Seaside Pictures

  Capture

  Keep

  Steal

  Waltzing With The Wallflower

  Waltzing with the Wallflower

  Beguiling Bridget

  Taming Wilde

  London Fairy Tales

  Upon a Midnight Dream

  Whispered Music

  The Wolf's Pursuit

  When Ash Falls

  Renwick House

  The Ugly Duckling Debutante

  The Seduction of Sebastian St. James

  The Redemption of Lord Rawlings

  An Unlikely Alliance

  The Devil Duke Takes a Bride

  Ruin Serie
s

  Ruin

  Toxic

  Fearless

  Shame

  The Consequence Series

  The Consequence of Loving Colton

  The Consequence of Revenge

  The Consequence of Seduction

  The Dark Ones Series

  The Dark Ones

  Untouchable Darkness

  Dark Surrender

  Darkest Temptation

  Wingmen Inc.

  The Matchmaker’s Playbook

  The Matchmaker’s Replacement

  The Bachelors of Arizona

  The Bachelor Auction

  The Playboy Bachelor

  The Bachelor Contract

  Curious Liaisons

  Cheater

  Cheater’s Regret

  Players Game

  Fraternize

  Infraction

  Other Titles

  The Parting Gift

  Compromising Kessen

  Savage Winter

  Divine Uprising

  Every Girl Does It

  RIP

  About The Author

  Rachel Van Dyken is a Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and #1 New York Times bestselling author known for regency romances, contemporary romances, and her love of coffee and Swedish fish. Rachel’s also recently inked a deal for her Wingmen Inc. series—The Matchmaker’s Playbook and The Matchmaker’s Replacement—to be made into movies.

  A fan of The Bachelor and the Seattle Seahawks (not necessarily in that order), Rachel lives in Idaho with her husband, a super-cute toddler son who keeps her on her toes, and two boxers. Make sure you check out her site, www.RachelVanDykenauthor.com, and follow her on Twitter or IG (@RachVD). You can also connect with her on Facebook or join her fan group Rachel's New Rockin Readers.

  To Feel Loved

  By Jennifer Van Wyk

  Chapter One

  Brandon

  “Thank you! You guys have been amazing!” I shout into the microphone, one hand gripping the base while flipping my guitar behind my back.

  The roar of the crowd doesn’t lessen in the slightest, causing my heart to pound so loud I can hear it in my ears.

  I chuckle lightly as the cheers continue, looking over my shoulder at the members of the band that make up my second family. A family very few people know about. In fact, only Cole, my childhood best friend and his girlfriend Mia, my twin sister, know about it. Not my even my parents.

  Azner, our kick ass drummer, nods his head twice. I shift my gaze to Walker and Jude, both backup singers. While Jude is amazing on the keys, Walker can dominate anything with strings. He’s become a master on the guitar but where he really shines is the Violin. It’s funny. I don’t think people realize how sexy the instrument is until they hear him on it.

  Walker gives me the chin nod while Jude just begins playing. His sign that he’s ready to keep it rolling rather than end our set where we had intended.

  I smile, shaking my head.

  “Seems as though Jude here isn’t ready to go home. Whadoya say? You wanna kick us out of here or should we play a few more for ya!?”

  The screams are damn near deafening.

  This is what I live for. The adrenaline that pumps through my veins as I belt out the lyrics I’ve been secretly writing since I was fourteen years old. Hiding notebook after notebook away any place I could stash them.

  It’s not that my parents wouldn’t approve. They would most likely be my biggest fans, aside from my sister. But I have always wanted to keep this part of my life to myself.

  The fact that my mom would probably demand we go on tour and allow her to be our tour manager, and that she would be wild and crazy, is just another part of it.

  I twist my guitar back around to my front as I turn in place, facing the rest of my band. Azner picks up on the tune Jude’s fiddling around with on his keyboard, tapping out a rhythm that I feel course through my body, lighting up the fire that only gets ignited when I’m on the stage.

  Not even being with a woman can compare to the feeling of a crowd screaming our name, singing along to the songs they usually only hear on YouTube.

  I don’t know if it’s the fact that we only play at underground shows, hidden from the common world, or knowing that these are true fans. People who seek us out, who have the same intense passion for music that we do.

  And honestly, I don’t really care.

  All I know is that nothing makes me feel more alive than this.

  I look back to the crowd, seeing Cole and Mia right in the front row. Where they always are. Without fail, they’re my biggest supporters.

  Mia screams loudly, throwing her arms in the air. Cole’s arm slides around her waist, picking her up from the side.

  I smile down at them, loving that they’ve got my back no matter what, even though I’ve kept this part of my life a secret from the rest of the family, and believe me when I say that’s not an easy task. My parents would be blasting this news everywhere and Cole’s dad Barrett? He’d be even worse than them.

  At my cue, I begin singing into the microphone. This one is not one of my own. We’ve gone through the set of our original music. Or at least the ones we’ve released and are ready to perform. This song isn’t wildly popular, which is why we like it. Not that we don’t sing some of the hits, too. But this one? It’s simple, and my raspy voice works perfectly for the tune.

  I croon into the mic about thinking of a girl every time I lay my head down. Not being able to close my eyes without seeing her. About waiting for the right girl to pull me through the darkness.

  I close my eyes as I let the sounds of Azner’s light drumming, Walker’s violin and Jude’s keys wash over me, their backup voices chiming in.

  Opening my eyes, I look down at my sister and Cole, his arms wrapped tightly around her from behind. They’re swaying back and forth, a wistful smile on her face. Cole leans down and kisses Mia on the cheek and a twinge tugs at my heart.

  I’m her brother but we’re twins and she’s a few minutes older than me, something she’ll never let me forget. I’ve never had that big brother protective nature over her. Maybe it’s because I could always read her so well. Don’t get me wrong. I’m protective. Very.

  But Cole? He couldn’t be more perfect for her. We may be best friends but it’s not weird like some people think it would be. And I’m happy that the two finally pulled their heads out of their asses and got together. It’s always made sense.

  Just like Grady, Cole’s younger brother, and his best friend from childhood, Bri. It took someone trying to hurt Bri for Grady to realize that he wanted more but at least he finally did something about it.

  I glance back at Jude when he has a short solo, giving him the attention he deserves, and when I look back to the crowd I see a flash of long dark hair and slender arms hugging Mia. I scrunch my eyebrows for a second and look around at the crowd.

  I know all of Mia’s friends but I don’t recognize her.

  She pulls away from my sister, Cole greeting her next. Though not quite as loving. I have to work to keep myself engaged in the crowd, not wanting to tear my eyes away from Mia’s friend.

  Mia catches my eye and winks and I roll my eyes, continuing to sing.

  Sometimes having a twin who knows exactly what you’re thinking at all times really sucks.

  This girl, though, I can’t drag my attention away from her. Her torn up dark skinny jeans fit her so perfectly I can almost feel how my hand could trail over her hip, shifting around to cup her ass. I’m pretty sure her curves could bring a man to his knees because I’m about to drop to mine.

  Her dark brown hair falls down to just below her shoulders, a few sections in small braids. From the stage, I can see she has a smattering of tattoos on her arms and collarbone, making me immediately wonder where else I can discover more ink on her skin. Her simple black tank top clings to her body like it was made for her, her tits pushing up and out of the top giving me a view that has me instantly regretting that I wear proba
bly too tight for men jeans when I’m performing.

  I lean forward, wrapping my hands around the mic once again, guitar pic in hand as we finish out the song, moving swiftly into the next.

  Three beats into the song I step back from the mic, using my hand to do the cut off motion to the band. They know from experience that I’m about to shake up the set, and shake it up I plan to.

  I lift my hand and lower it in a wave motion, and they pick up on what my plan is immediately. Jude’s eyes twinkle as everyone adjusts their instruments.

  I twirl back around.

  “I’m gonna switch things up for a second. You okay with that?!”

  Again, the cheers and screams are deafening.

  I smile widely, knowing it’s one that drops panties all over. I’m not an idiot. I know what being a lead singer in a band does for girls. I also know that right now I only care what it does to one particular girl.

  I lift my hands and clap a few times to get the rhythm set and the crowd, if possible, gets even louder.

  This song?

  Slightly popular.

  Okay, that’s a lie.

  Even seventh graders know this song.

  And although I’ve never met Mia’s new friend, which will change the second we’re done here, I’m singing this to her.

  I look right at her and she smirks while I encourage her to follow my lead, telling her I’m in love with her body. Hoping as the rest of the song plays out, I wouldn’t mind having her scent all over my bed and I know, without a doubt in my mind that when I take my time undressing her later tonight, the sparks I see in her eyes now will ignite a fire between us that won’t go out with just one night.

  One dark eyebrow arches, showing me that she’s on to my pseudo challenge. And she’s about to issue one of her own.

  She raises her arms in the air, her hands brushing against each other while her hips twist and turn, shimmying back and forth in a slow seductive roll. I watch as her eyes slowly close as she lets the music, the music I’m currently playing and singing, wash over her body. Her head falls back slightly as she allows herself to get consumed by the lyrics.