Dirty

by Ella Miles

  My fists are raw and bleeding, but I don’t feel the pain. Only the anger. It consumes every muscle in my body, so all I can do or think about is making Armas pay.

  Eden groans and I stop.

  I turn to her immediately, ignoring the bloody, lifeless mess on the floor in front of me.

  I run to her body and cradle her head in my hands.

  “Matteo? Are you really here?” she asks, her voice trembling.

  I nod. “Yes, I’m getting you out of here.”

  She rapidly blinks like she’s trying to make me go away by blinking, but when I don’t, she smiles enough to melt the anger that has taken over me.

  She pulls on the shackles holding her down on the bed. My eyes go to the bedside table where I find the key. I grab it and unlock each shackle, moving quickly and efficiently.

  Her eyes stay with me each time I move, her eyes narrowed like she doesn’t understand what I’m doing.

  She doesn’t have to understand. I don’t even understand what I’m doing. She can’t stay here. And I won’t let anything like this ever happen again.

  When I’ve removed every single shackle from her extremities, I help her sit up. Then I gather a blanket draped over a chair in the corner of the room and wrap it around her body.

  She winces when the fabric touches her leg.

  I scoop her up as gingerly as I can in my arms.

  “What are you doing?” she asks.

  “You can’t walk. I’m getting you out of here and taking you where it’s safe.”

  I expect her to argue with me, that my own home is no safer than this place is.

  She doesn’t.

  Instead, her head falls against my chest as her body shakes gently in my arms. The adrenaline now controlling her body has no place to go, making her tremble.

  I hold her tighter against my body, ensuring she can’t see Armas’s dead body as I take her out of the room.

  My gun is still tucked into the back of my pants as I leave the room and run down the hallway and the stairs. It’s not the smartest move I’ve ever made, but I doubt Armas has many more guards on duty. And if he does, I don’t expect them to be any smarter or more adept than the other guards I ran into.

  I stare intently at Eden as I carry her out of the house, not understanding what spell she currently has over me. My erection is still stiff in my pants. My body still aches to toss her in the back of the car and rape her, now. But something stops me.

  The need to take care of her. To heal her. Help her.

  That’s my biggest weakness. I can’t stop helping others. And I’ll most likely hate myself for taking care of her instead of taking care of my own needs.

  Rescuing her made me a target. I shouldn’t have messed with one of the wealthiest families in Italy. Now I’ll have to deal with the rest of his family once they find out what I did.

  I get to my car, but it barely has a second row. I start to put her in the backseat, but I don’t want to let her go. It’s not far back to my house, but for her, it will seem like an eternity in her condition. And I want to keep an eye on her leg to make sure she’s still awake.

  I reach into my back pocket and pull out my cell phone while I hold her with my other arm. Even when she is dead weight and barely able to hold herself up, she’s still light in my arms.

  I dial the number for Maximo.

  “Yes, Matteo.”

  “I need you to get to Armas’ place with an SUV as fast as you can and bring someone with you to drive back the sports car.”

  “Is everything okay, sir?”

  “Yes, hurry.”

  “I’m five minutes away.”

  I end the call and pocket my phone.

  Eden’s eyes flicker, and I can’t help but stroke the hair away from her face. I’ve grown soft. It’s only because she reminds me so much of Nina. That’s not true, because, besides her looks and strength, she is the opposite of Nina.

  Nina was soft and caring. She cared too deeply about others and was obsessed with Arlo and me. Eden is harsh. She’s faced the cruel world before, and it’s made her icy and closed off. She doesn’t care about others as much as she cares about protecting Nina and herself.

  She swallows as she stares at me and I swear I see her blush a little as her eyes rake down my body.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “My leg hurts a lot.”

  I nod. “And everything else?” I ask, unable to ask if he left permanent scars when he raped her or if he even got that far. I couldn’t tell from where I was standing or when I pulled him off her. I didn’t leave scars when I touched her, but I’m not sure if it’s because she has no memory of it or because I didn’t go far enough.

  She purses her lips together as she takes her time answering me. “I’ll heal.”

  My stomach churns. Armas did rape her; she’s just not telling me. Most likely, she doesn’t want to admit it to herself either. She’ll have to face it eventually. But in the meantime, I’ll play along and pretend the only problem that needs healing is her leg.

  Maximo drives up, stopping feet from me. I pull the back door open and slide her body inside before I climb in after her. I let her head rest in my lap.

  One of the men runs to my car to drive it home, while Maximo starts driving us toward my house.

  The car hits a bump in the road, and Eden moans loudly, louder than I expected.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  She doesn’t answer right away. “Yes,” she finally breathes. “The pain is getting worse for some reason.”

  I stroke her hair. “The adrenaline pumping through you, that helped you survived, is leaving your body. It was masking some of the pain.”

  As we speed around another corner, she closes her eyes and winces. A tear rolls down her cheek and then another, despite her eyes being shut tight. Her face is turning redder every second. Her body shaking faster in my arms trying to distract her from her agony.

  There is nothing I can do to comfort her, except hold her.

  “Do you…” she starts and then stops as the discomfort overtakes her.

  “Shhh. Try to relax. We will be back soon.”

  I glance down at her wound to make sure the bleeding hasn’t gotten worse. It hasn’t. I considered tying a tourniquet around it but decided against it, when I knew how much torture it would cause her, and the bleeding wasn’t strong enough to warrant it anyway.

  There is nothing I can do to help her until we get back and I have the proper medical supplies to help her.

  “Do you have any of the drugs you’ve used to knock me out on you?” she asks, her voice stronger than before.

  My eyes widen, and my heart stops. She wouldn’t ask me if she wasn’t desperate for relief. She’s made it clear how much she hates it when I knock her out. The lack of control makes it impossible for her to handle when she wakes back up.

  “No, I don’t have any on me.”

  She lifts her head a little and turns to look at me, her eyes imploring me for solace.

  “Please, I’m begging you, please help me. Knock me out. Make me forget. Make the pain go away. I can’t stand it.”

  I swallow hard, uncomfortable with the way she’s looking at me when I know there is nothing I can do to alleviate her pain.

  “You can dig through my pockets if it makes you feel better, but I don’t have any of the drugs on me.”

  Her tears stream down her face as she realizes she’s going to have to wait for painkillers.

  “Make the pain stop. Please. I know you know how.”

  I’ve seen plenty of people in pain before. Hell, I’ve caused most people as much or more suffering than she is currently dealing with. I’ve heard their cries for me to bring them relief. And the only way I ever did was with a bullet through their head.

  She looks at my pants and her hands claw at my waist searching for the gun she knows is stored there.

  Damn it.

  She’s more fucked up in the leg then I realized. Or being raped by
Armas screwed up her head worse than I thought it did.

  She wants me to kill her. I won’t let her give up so quickly.

  “I’m not going to kill you!”

  She stops, her face stoic like I slapped her.

  “I don’t want you to kill me.”

  “You don’t? Then why do you look like you’ve given up and you are reaching for my gun?”

  “Because I want you to knock me out as you did to Saul. Make the pain go away until you get me some pain medication. If you don’t, I’m going to chew my leg off to make it stop.”

  I smirk and don’t tell her chewing her leg off would only make the pain unbearable.

  “Please,” she begs.

  Knocking her unconscious will make her suffering worse later. That healing will take longer. My heart is too infatuated with her at the moment to disappoint her, so I keep quiet.

  I don’t use my gun like she wants me to. It wouldn’t take much to knock her out. Not in her current state.

  I look over to Maximo, making Eden follows my gaze to him. I wait until her head is turned to him and then I hit her hard across the back of her head. I catch her as her head drops into my arms.

  Maximo looks in the rearview mirror, judging me with his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything.

  I stroke her cheek again, pretending she fell asleep instead of me striking her.

  “Is she going to be okay?” Maximo asks.

  I nod. “She’s going to be better than okay.”

  “Do we need to go to the hospital first? We can go to Dr. Pietri; he won’t question it. He owes us.”

  I stare down at Eden’s leg for a long time. I’m sure it’s broken. A woman as strong as Eden wouldn’t cry in pain like that at anything less than broken. It’s probably shattered.

  I know how to treat most wounds and ailments. I’ve healed most of Arlo’s injuries without any issues. I’m not sure if I can repair Eden’s leg if it is broken in more than one place and requires surgery.

  She could never walk properly again if I don’t take her to the hospital.

  But I can’t. I don’t want to give her up. She may think I’m her savior at the moment, but I’m not. I’m still a monster.

  “No. Take us home.”

  Maximo doesn’t question me again. He knows the decision I made might lead to her death and he doesn’t care. Eden is mine to do with what I want. I stole her. Saving her was only to reclaim her as mine, not because I cared or have a heart. She’ll realize soon enough when she’ll never be able to walk again. At least I won’t have to worry about her running away from me.

  9

  Eden

  My eyes flicker wide as the sharp pain in my leg wakes me up. My head is pounding, telling me not to dare move my head off the pillow. I’ve been drugged enough times now to know the familiar feeling. Although, this time it’s different. Achier than before.

  Matteo.

  He’s hovering over my leg; his hands gloved as he inspects it. He stops when he sees I’m awake. He takes the gloves off and tosses them to the floor as he sits on the edge of the bed.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I was in a car accident and raped.”

  He winces when I say the word rape. I don’t understand why he would care. That’s why he left me with Armas in the first place, so he would rape me and do the dirty work Matteo was incapable of doing.

  “So you remember what happened?”

  I close my eyes as the images start flooding back. Me slamming my car into a tree, Armas taking me to his place and raping me, Matteo rescuing me, and then striking me in the head as I asked.

  I rub my head on the back and find the bump that has formed.

  He narrows my eyes. “Still happy I knocked you out?”

  “Yes,” I say, despite the agony I’m in now.

  He turns from my eyes to give my leg his attention again.

  “It’s bad, isn’t it?” I ask.

  He doesn’t respond. Instead, he moves down the length of the bed until he’s resting next to my leg.

  “Can you move your toes?”

  My eyes widen at his request. I don’t want even to try to move a single part of my leg.

  “That’s what I thought.” He peers back into my eyes trying to tell me something he won’t tell me with his words.

  I swallow hard as a lump creeps up my throat. My mouth runs dry as Matteo stares at me like I’m the most important thing in his world.

  “It’s broken.”

  I bite my lip to keep from smiling. He thinks he’s delivered me bad news, but it isn’t something I didn’t already know. And telling me I have a broken bone is nothing when I was just violated by a man. Had his mouth on my skin. His cock inside me.

  “I guessed that.”

  He nods.

  “Can it be fixed?” I ask, hoping he will offer to take me to the hospital or at least bring a doctor to me. For one, it gives me a tiny chance at escaping from Matteo. Although, at the moment, I don’t feel like running. Him rescuing me from my nightmare gave me a little bit of hope and respect for him. And two, I would love to have a working leg again, and the only way that can happen is with a doctor’s help.

  “Yes, but it’s going to be painful.” He gives me a warning look.

  My heart thumps wildly in my chest as I bask in his eyes. I could get lost in them forever.

  I shake my head. What’s happening to me? I must be feeling guilty for him saving me, that’s it.

  “A doctor?”

  He shakes his head. “No, your leg doesn’t need surgery. It was a clean break. It needs realigning, the wound cleaned up and sewed shut, and plenty of rest. Your body will do the rest.”

  I stare at him wide-eyed. It’s the second time he’s shocked me with his knowledge of medical information. But I don’t know whether I believe him.

  “Do you trust me?”

  I smirk.

  He grins. “That’s a no.”

  I nod.

  He turns his attention to my leg.

  “But I don’t have much of a choice, do I? Either trust you or die.”

  His face scrunches like he smelled something rotten “Yes, you don’t have an option but to trust me.”

  “Okay then.” My eyes flutter down at my leg that looks rotten. I’ve seen worse at crime scenes, but it still isn’t pleasant to look at.

  He puts on some gloves and sits on the chair he was sitting on to exam my leg before I woke up. I notice the small table filled with gauze, needles, tweezers, and viles of medications.

  “I need to realign the bone as best as I can to help your tibia and fibula heal. Then I will clean the wound and stitch it up before attaching a stent to your leg to keep it from moving.”

  I nod. His words make sense, but it isn’t any more reassuring.

  “It’s going to hurt. Worse than before.

  I swallow hard.

  “I can give you some numbing shots to your leg, but it will only work on the surface. Or I can knock you out again with the drugs, so you don’t feel anything until I’m done.”

  “Also so I don’t remember anything either.”

  He nods. His eyes glare into mine waiting for my decision. Before I would have said give me the drugs. Make the pain go away. Make me forget.

  But now, I need to be awake. I need to watch what he does to my leg because if he fucks it up, I want to remember what he did when I finally make it to a doctor.

  “Give me the local injection.”

  He doesn’t wait for me to tell him I’m sure I don’t want to be unconscious. He takes the needle and carefully jabs it into my shin.

  It burns slightly and then warms as the liquid fills my skin. He moves the needle to several different places, always slowing down his movements as the needle pierces my skin. I don’t know why he cares if it hurts me. He could be using this against me, to torture me to find out where Nina is, but for some reason, he isn’t.

  He sets the needle back down on the table next to him and then
gives me a look that tells me to brace myself.

  I fist the sheets I’m lying on. My heart races but not in anticipation of the pain. It races when his hands touch my skin.

  “Tell me something about yourself. What do you do for a living? Where is your favorite place to travel? What are your hobbies?”

  My mouth drops open. He can’t seriously care about any of the answers to those questions.

  He waits. No longer touching me or preparing any of his supplies.

  I sigh. “I’m a prosecutor. I deal mostly with murder and rape cases. I prosecute the bad guys and lock them away forever.”

  He smirks.

  “I don’t have a favorite place to travel. I’ve turned into a bit of a homebody since everything that happened with Nina. And my hobbies, I used to enjoy paint—”

  He rips my leg off. I know it. The pain sears through my leg and then cascades through my body like a hurricane does a city. Shattering everything in its path and leaving nothing left untouched. My entire body is screaming for relief from whatever trauma he caused. I shouldn’t have trusted him.

  “Motherfucker!” I scream as I bend down to grab my leg, hoping to bring it some comfort. The spots return over my eyes, and my head is so light I’m afraid it’s going to drift away from my body.

  “Eden, breathe.”

  I can’t.

  The voice is crazy if it thinks I can focus on anything as silly as breathing. I can’t exist.

  Hands rest on my shoulder and chest as I’m gently pushed back down on the pillows behind me.

  “Take a deep breath,” the voice commands, again more sternly.

  I can’t. Why can’t the voice get that?

  “In…,” his hands press against my chest reminding my lungs to breath. The traitors take a breath.

  “Now out…” his hands guide my lungs again as I slowly exhale.

  “In…” I take a breath in.

  “And out…”

  I open my eyes that I didn’t realize I had shut and the pain is still there, but manageable. I don’t feel like I’m about to die anymore, more like slow torture that may never stop.