Dirty

by Ella Miles

  “Drop the knife.”

  I stare up at the knife. At my salvation.

  “I can’t.”

  He nods as if he understands.

  “I’ll let you run if you want to run, but Dante will find you before morning. He knows you are missing. That’s why I’m here.”

  I nod.

  “Or you can come with me.”

  I laugh. I don’t know why. Maybe because I need the release. “I will never become Dante’s again.”

  He nods. “I wasn’t asking you to go back to Dante. I was asking you to be mine.”

  “I don’t want to belong to anyone. I want to be free.”

  “No one is ever free.”

  Sadness. That is what I see, mixed with lust, in his eyes.

  “I was.”

  “No, you weren’t. You belonged to the rich, the powerful. You belonged to your family. You never belonged to yourself.”

  “Why would I go with you? Why would I trust you? Last time you turned me over to Dante.”

  “Last time I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t know what I was giving up. Now I do. I want you, Gia Carini.”

  He knows my name, and it feels good to hear something other than cunt or whore. But he turned me over. He’s raped me before.

  “You’re no better than him,” I say, unable to speak the devil’s name, or even think it for another second.

  “No, I’m not better than him. In fact, I’m probably worse. I’m not saying I’m offering you deliverance. I’m not saving you. Just offering you a new master.”

  He speaks the truth. Every one of his words. I believe him.

  “What will happen if I go with you, Conti? Will you rape me, torture me, and beat me?”

  His jaw twitches.

  “Maybe. Maybe, I’ll do worse. And the name is Caspian. Conti is my father’s name.”

  My face softens when I hear Caspian. I try to reread this man. Last time, I saw kindness. I saw hope. This time, I’m realistic. It wasn’t kindness I saw before. It was pain and sadness. I see it now. Now that I’ve felt it.

  This man is broken, same as me. He’s not evil like Dante is. Caspian may not treat me well, but he won’t hurt me in the same way Dante did.

  Caspian may rape me, hurt me, beat me, but not with the same hatred. Caspian’s rage comes from a place of pain. Pain can weaken, hate can’t.

  “Choose Gia. The woods, where Dante will find you, or me.”

  Nothing can be worse than Dante. I don’t trust Caspian, but I believe him. I don’t know what faces me, but I don’t have a choice.

  “You.”

  7

  Caspian

  I should be overseeing the security team. I should be at Dante’s house ensuring the system I set up is working flawlessly. I should be on the phone with Dante, schmoozing him, and making sure he thinks everything I’m doing is to make him more secure.

  Instead, I’m standing at the edge of the woods, while the most entrancing woman I’ve ever met tells me she will come with me.

  I shouldn’t be here.

  I shouldn’t steal Gia.

  It could ruin everything.

  Gia isn’t the type of woman who is barely noticed. She blazes in, knocking down walls, and setting fire to everything in her path. Some people survive and are made stronger because she was in their life, but most dissolve into ashes.

  Gia takes one step and her leg trembles. I’ve studied her body for the last three minutes, and I know her leg is broken. She can walk on it, but only because there is so much adrenaline pulsing through her veins. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping her moving. And it is almost gone. She won’t be standing much longer.

  I rush to her side, my arms finally able to wrap around her body again. I grab onto her waist, and her hands grip my forearms.

  Gia is filthy. Covered in layers of dirt and mud. Her face is swollen, and about ten different shades of black and blue. The only thing left of the Gia I saw that day outside the coffee shop is her eyes. Her eyes still blaze with life.

  Her hair, once straight and shiny, is now tangled and matted. I don’t know if she will ever be able to get the knots out, except by cutting her hair. I can’t even let my eyes travel over the rest of her body. My anger rages too fast in my chest at the number of cuts, bruises, and broken bones.

  I can’t think about what Dante did to her. It will destroy me.

  I don’t let Gia see my rage, instead, I still in strong solitude.

  “I can walk,” Gia says, her voice so fucking determined.

  I chuckle. This is not the time for chuckling. If Dante changes his plans and decides to search these woods, he’ll find us. And I won’t have a choice, but to turn her back over to him.

  “No, you can’t.”

  I don’t give her a choice. I scoop her up in my arms and start jogging back to my car, hidden under a large oak tree on the edge of the street.

  Gia stops fighting once she’s in my arms. She doesn’t have a choice. I try to do anything to keep from looking at her. In just a few minutes, she’ll be mine. Dante will have no chance to get her back. I can look at her all I want then. Do more than look at her.

  Having Gia in my arms makes it impossible for me to focus though. All I can do is breathe in her scent. Before she smelt like roses. It still lingers in her hair, but now she reeks of Dante. Musky, sweaty, and manly.

  I need to change that.

  I bite my bottom lip to keep from growling as my legs move faster to get her away from this devil.

  Gia doesn’t move in my arms. She lays her head on my chest, and I know her eyes are open because I can feel them burning into a spot on my chin. Don’t look at her.

  I make it to my Fiat, and though I know she would be more comfortable in a backseat where she could lie down on the journey ahead, I’m glad my car doesn’t have a backseat. I need her near me. I need to be able to touch her and keep my eyes on her as we drive. Otherwise, I’ll lose my damn mind.

  So that’s where I put her, before hopping in the driver’s seat. My heart pounds half from stress and half from anger. It’s been a long time since I cared so much about a mission working out like this one. It takes everything inside of me not to call Dante and drive straight to him before pulling out my gun and shooting him dead.

  How could he ever think it was okay to maim such a beautiful spirit?

  “You going to drive or do I need to?” Gia says. She’s slouched in the chair, not even able to hold her head up. There is no way she can drive. Her sly smile and rosy cheeks warm my heart.

  He didn’t damage her spirit. It’s very much alive.

  I speed out of our spot, slinging Gia against the window as I do.

  “Much better,” she says, as she slowly pushes herself off the window into an upright position.

  I should drive her straight to the hospital. Her body is beaten so much; she no doubt needs countless surgeries to fix her broken bones.

  It won’t be safe.

  The hospital would be one of the first places Dante looks. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. The truth is I’m a selfish bastard who wants Gia all to myself.

  “Where are we going?” Gia asks, her voice weaker than before. Everything she does drains another quarter of her energy. She should conserve it. Another sentence or two and she’ll pass out from exhaustion.

  “Shh, you should rest. You don’t need to worry about anything. You’re mine, now.”

  I expect her to listen. I know she feels safer than she did with Dante. And for the time being at least, she’s right.

  She doesn’t listen.

  “I’m not anyone’s. I belong to me.”

  Focus on the road. There is no reason to argue semantics with her right now. She’s mine, even if she won’t say it.

  But I see her damn lips curl up. She knows her not saying she’s mine fucks with me.

  I try to figure out what gave me away. Usually, only my sister can read me. My grip is loose on the steering wheel. I’m driving fast, but
not excessive. My body is relaxed, sunk into my seat. And my facial expressions are blank.

  Gia looks at me dreamily.

  “What?” I snap a little too loudly.

  This earns me a full smile. Damn it. She likes getting under my skin.

  “Gia, I don’t like being disobeyed. You will learn that soon. So when I ask you a question or give you a command, I expect you to follow it. Understand?”

  She giggles. “Yes, sir.”

  I glare at her, unable to hold in my rage at her little mistake.

  “Why are you giggling? You think me risking my life to take you is funny?”

  She takes a deep breath, calming her giggles. “No.”

  I hesitate before asking my next question, but it’s the one I want answered the most. “Are you afraid of me?”

  She pauses. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you call me Gia.”

  I shake my head. “That won’t stop me from raping you when I get the chance. It won’t stop my temper from beating you when you disobey me. It won’t stop me from breaking you.”

  She nods. “Maybe not. But you call me Gia instead of whore. You see me as a human instead of property. That’s a start. You can’t be worse than him.”

  I shake my head. She has no idea.

  My phone buzzes, right on cue. My car has the ability to answer calls hands-free, but I don’t want Gia to hear; nor do I want Dante to have a chance at hearing Gia next to me.

  So I retrieve my phone from my pocket and answer the call privately on my phone.

  “Hello, Dante. What can I do for you?” I answer, loving how much it pisses him off to use Dante instead of Mr. Russo. It will never get old.

  “You can get your fucking team to my office ASAP. My whore is missing. Stolen, no doubt. Your fucking fancy security system and team did nothing to stop it!”

  I grin. I can’t help myself at hearing his panic on the other end of the line. Even if I didn’t want Gia for myself, I should have stolen her to listen to his panic.

  “My team wasn’t responsible for you or your whore’s security this afternoon. I told you, you shouldn’t have left the house until the team was set up to escort you.”

  “You don’t get to fucking lecture me, Caspian. Not today! Fucking fix it, or your whole team is fired.”

  “I will have my team meet you at your office. We will find her. If she’s still in Italy, we will find her.”

  “And if she’s not?” Dante’s voice trembles as he speaks.

  “Then, we will find you a new whore while we track down her kidnapper and kill him.”

  I end the call. Pocketing my phone.

  Her eyes are huge as she stares at me. Her smile has vanished. And she’s now as far as she can get from me in her chair.

  She’s afraid of me. I don’t have to ask her to understand that.

  “You’re going to return me to him…” Her lip quivers and tears threaten in her big green eyes, clouding the sparkle there before.

  “No.”

  “I don’t believe you. You turned me over to him before. You want to wait a few days. Get your fill of me, and then pretend you found me when it’s most convenient to get back on Dante’s good side.”

  “N—”

  “I’ll tell Dante. I’ll tell him everything if you give me back to him.”

  I pull the car over abruptly to the side of the road. I need to focus on her if I’m going to win this fight with her.

  I grab her shoulders and pull her, so she is staring straight at me. I tell myself it’s so I have her full attention, and she can see into my eyes that I’m telling the truth, but it’s because I need to have my hands on her.

  “If you believe one thing about me, believe this. I will never give you back to Dante. Even to save my own skin. You will never see Dante Russo again. He will never touch you again. Never beat you. Never rape you. Once I claim something as mine, it’s mine. I don’t share. I don’t change my mind. I will never let Dante have you again.”

  “Dante won’t stop looking for me. Ever. You can’t assure that.”

  I cock my head to the side and give her a wicked smirk I’m sure reaches my eyes. “I’m Dante’s security now. He wiped out his old team. He trusts me. Dante will never find you unless I want him to find you. I control Dante now. And I’m the best damn security in the country. You are free of Dante.”

  My eyes scan hers, trying to decide if she believes me. I don’t know why it matters to me that she believes me. It’s frustrating me that I can’t read her.

  “Do you believe me?”

  Nothing. No answer on her face or from her lips.

  “Gia?” I ask, with a warning to my voice.

  “I don’t know.”

  I sigh.

  “Why? Why would you never turn me over to Dante? I don’t understand.”

  So many heartbreaking images fill my head, and I almost forget where I am.

  I shake my head, pushing the memories away.

  “It doesn’t matter why. Just believe me when I say Dante will never own you again.”

  I release her, and her body falls back into the chair, unable to hold herself up. I start driving again while we both sit in silence.

  I do everything I can to not think about the gorgeous, feisty woman sitting next to me. When my mind starts counting her breaths, I change to counting the road signs we pass. When my eyes cut to the glow of her filthy skin, I punish them by playing images of Dante. When my nose takes deeper breaths, trying to get a whiff of her sweet smell, I roll down my window as we pass a cow pasture.

  It takes us forty-five minutes to reach the small turnoff for my house. Gia fell asleep shortly after driving again. Her breathing has been slow and steady since.

  I reached over around minute ten to tuck her hair behind her ear so I could see her pretty face better. She didn’t stir. I punished myself by digging my nails into my skin. I’m going to need a better way to keep Gia out of my thoughts when I’m on the job. This won’t work.

  Now that we are almost to my house, it doesn’t matter if I think about her. I can act on my needs. Fuck her if I want.

  No. I will not fuck a woman who was so recently touched by another man. He probably fucked her in his office before she ran.

  I slow my speed as the car sways over the gravel path leading to my house. There is no sign for this road. There is barely even an opening among the trees. It’s how I like it. No one knows my house even exists back here.

  Slowly, my black roof starts peaking out over the trees. The small cabin-like feel of the siding comes into view.

  “Your house is tiny.”

  My head jerks to Gia. I thought she was asleep, but the bouncing of the car must have woken her.

  I raise an eyebrow. “I can return you to your previous owner. Just say the word, and you’ll be back in his giant mansion.”

  She stills. “I’ll give your tiny house a try first.”

  I narrow my eyes. “I forgot. You’re a Carini. You care about things like houses and cars and money.”

  She looks out the window, suddenly more solemn. I said something wrong.

  “I’m not sure if such things matter or not, but I miss them.” The way she speaks with regret stirs my deep feelings. It’s clear she doesn’t want to miss mansions, money, and expensive cars.

  I shrug. “I don’t think it matters if you prefer giant mansions or not. I prefer my excluded house in the woods.”

  “Our house was excluded. Hidden. But it had enough rooms we could all live under one roof. My entire family. We could have extravagant parties and lush rooms. Why wouldn’t you want that?”

  I shake my head. “You may think the Carini mansion was hidden and private. It wasn’t. Trust me. I’ve been doing security for a long time. I’ve seen hundreds of houses. My house is private. Yours wasn’t.”

  “I doubt you have been doing this for a long time.” She rakes her eyes over my body as she takes in my appearance and age.

 
; “Security is all I’ve ever done. Even when I was a kid. Don’t start judging me because I don’t come from a long line of Conti’s who work in security. I made my money on my own.”

  Her face brightens at my admission. Damn it. How do I keep revealing so much about myself to her so easily?

  She nods. “I wasn’t judging you for not inheriting money. I admire that. It seems like a simpler life, where nothing is expected of you, and you can choose your own path. I envy you for that.”

  “Don’t. My life is no more perfect than yours is.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious. Your life is a lot better than mine. You’ve never had your life threatened. Your ownership of your body, taken. Never been violated by another person.”

  “Don’t speak unless you know the words you are saying are truthful. You know nothing about my life. In some ways, my hell is much worse than yours.”

  Her eyes cross in confusion and her luscious red lips open to speak again. I climb out of the car before she starts firing off her questions. This is one area she won’t be getting any answers to her questions. I’ve endured more pain than she can ever imagine. I would easily trade paths with her to get rid of my own omnipresent pain.

  I walk to her side, but her door is already open, and her feet are swung to the side as she prepares to step out.

  Not fucking happening.

  I scoop her up roughly.

  “Put me down. I can walk! There is no threat at the moment. Dante isn’t lurking behind one of the trees. Let me walk. It doesn’t matter how long it takes me.”

  “It does too matter how long. I have work to do. I can’t just sit around waiting for hours as you stumble into my house.”

  She pouts. “What did you mean back there about your hell being worse?”

  I refuse to answer her or even acknowledge her words. I enter my code on the front door and wait for the door to unlock after it has scanned my face and recognized me as the owner. It opens, and I carry her in. The door shuts and locks automatically behind me.

  “Caspian, it’s good to have you home. Can I get you anything, sir?” Michi, my assistant, and the owner of the house on paper, asks. He oversees everything that has to do with the house when I’m not here.