Rata flowers are red

by Mary Moore

  Judy waved goodbye and then sauntered by Mark on her way inside. As she passed he caught her wrist. 'Do you like playing with fire ?'

  Judy smiled sweetly, 'If you mean do I like Lucky, the answer is yes !'

  At that moment the twins arrived home from Sunday school and further conversation was impossible.

  Vicki ran up. 'You stayed in bed awfully late this morning, Judy. I wanted to hear all about the dance. Mummy used to tell me what people wore and what she had to eat Will you tell me now ? Nan wouldn't let me wake you up this morning.'

  'Yes, I'll tell you everything. Come on in, so I can talk while I put lunch on.'

  The next day Mark went up to the flax and forgot to take his lunch, so Judy carried it up to where he was working beside the deep black lagoon. As she stood watching him work she had a feeling he had left his lunch

  behind on purpose so that he would be able to talk to her without interruption. He had been very quiet and stiff since lunch time yesterday. As he tied off a bundle of flax with unnecessary force, he threw it aside and turned to Judy. Thank you for bringing my lunch. Put it down there. I want to talk to you.'

  Judy put down the lunch carefully, surprised to find her hands were shaking. Per-Imps this was going to be the moment she had waited for, perhaps Mark was going to tell her he loved her, but as she turned towards him she realized that there was no love in his eyes, only anger. Immediately her fighting spirit was aroused.

  `Are you going out with Lucky again ?' His voice was hard.

  `I might,' replied Judy casually.

  You're not very particular, are you ?' Mark glared at her.

  Oh, I wouldn't say that, but he did take me out, which is more than I can say for you. A girl likes to be told she's pretty and fun to be with. Makes her feel good.' Judy was being deliberately provocative.

  I suppose he kissed you last night.' `Well, not last night, actually, it was this morning,' she said blandly.

  `And you enjoyed that too ?' demanded Mark savagely.

  `Since you ask, yes, I did rather.'

  `You don't care who you go out with—any man will do ? You don't care who kisses you —any man will do, is that what you mean ?'

  You're catching on fast.' Judy moved further along the lagoon edge. ' Enjoy your lunch, Mark. I'm going home.'

  In two strides he caught her, and holding her in an inflexible grip he kissed her three or four times—ruthless, insulting kisses with no love or affection in them.

  ' If that's all you want, why didn't you say ? I don't mind obliging you.'

  Judy's face was white. 'You beast, I hate you!' Her green eyes were flashing fire. She rushed at him, catching him off balance, and pushed him backwards into the lagoon, then turned and ran for her life. She headed away from home and down towards the river.

  Her tears blinded her and she did not see Mac on the river bank until he touched her arm. 'What's the matter, lassie ? Has someone been hurt?'

  `No—yes, I have. I hate Mark, I hate him, I hate him!' And she threw herself down on the grass and cried as if her heart would break.

  Mac sat beside her and gently stroked her hair until she lay quiet 'Poor wee lassie, tell me about your trouble.'

  Judy sat up wiping her eyes. 'Mark kissed me,' she sniffed.

  `Did he now ?' asked Mac without a glimmer of a smile. 'But I thought you wanted him to kiss you ?'

  `No, not like that! Oh, Mac, he kissed me as if he hated me!'

  `Now why would he do a thing like that ?' Mac pretended to be puzzled.

  Because I went out with Lucky on Saturday night,' Judy explained.

  Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, fancy that? You went out with Lucky and Mark is angry with you ? That's very good, and I'm sure it was what you had in mind. You scheming little minx !'

  `Ye-e-s,' Judy answered hesitantly.

  `Well, what are you complaining about?'

  Judy brightened up and gave a small giggle. I pushed Mark into the lagoon, and I'm scared to go home. He looked so mad I think he'll kill me.'

  `He will not kill you,' Mac hastened to assure her, but he may beat you, which would be no more than you deserve. Come on home with me, now. There's no use me staying here any longer, you've scared away all the fish.'

  I can't go home, Mac. I can't face Mark, said Judy, getting to her feet. 'I'll have to leave. I can't stay here now.'

  `I didn't think you were a coward, lassie. I'm disappointed in you.'

  It's all right for you to talk, you're not living in his house. He thinks I'm cheap. "I'm

  going to pack my case.'

  You will do no such thing. You will say you are sorry to Mark for trying to drown him, and you will stay here. until March. You told me you'd given your word to do that'

  won't say I'm sorry l' cried Judy passionately. 'Why should I ? He deserved to be pushed in.'

  Now, now, lassie, you must apologize. It's always easier for a woman to say she's sorry than for a man. You don't want to leave in anger and not see Mark again, do you ?' He strode along briskly, letting Judy trail behind while she tried to decide what to do.

  When they came across the small bridge over Koromiko Creek, Mark was unloading the flax. As he was in dry clothes Judy presumed he had been inside to change. He still seemed to be very angry. Mac waited for Judy to catch up. Don't let your pride get in the way, Judy,' he said softly, then as they came closer to Mark he pushed her forward. 'Judy has something to say to you, Mark. I'll be on my way,' and Mac walked off.

  Judy stood irresolute, if she walked away now there would be no returning. What was stopping her ? Pride ? She was to blame for the situation, she faced -that honestly. She had meant to upset Mark, and he couldn't be expected to react just as she wanted him to. Suddenly she wanted to see him. smile more than anything in the world. A wave of love

  for him swept over her, leaving her weak and shaken. What was pride compared to being friends with him again ?

  She put out her hand in a pleading gesture. `I'm sorry, Mark, please forgive me. I can't bear it if you're angry with me.' She looked at the ground, fighting the tears. ' I didn't mean what I said up at the lagoon, you know I'm not like that. I was only trying to hurt you.'

  The silence was unbearable. Wasn't he ever going to speak ? She felt his hands gently on her shoulders and then she was drawn into the wonderful comfort of his arms, and she knew what Nan had meant when she said that love was comfort, courage, and a sense of belonging.

  Mark whispered against her hair, Judy love, you make me feel even more of a heel than I was feeling already. If I forgive you will you forgive me ? Oh, God, Judy, don't cry. I can't stand it. We're friends again now, stop crying. First you push me in the water, and now you're soaking my shirt. Do you want to give me pneumonia ?'

  Judy buried her head in his shoulder. Just a few minutes more in his arms, and then she would go. She had her answer; if he loved her he would have said so. All he could offer was friendship, and she would always treasure even that much of him.

  Please, Mark,' her voice was muffled. '

  I want you to release me from my promise to stay here till March. I want to go away. Zelda will be home next week, your mother told me. She can come and stay and look after your mother and the twins. Will you let me go ?'

  No, you promised to stay no matter what happened, remember ?'

  Judy pushed herself away from him. `Why wait until March to marry her ? You could get married straight away and then I could leave. Please, Mark,' Judy pleaded. I've just got to go.'

  `Yes, I'd look fine asking any girl to marry me now, wouldn't I, Judy ? What. would I say ? Darling, would you marry me ? I can't offer you much except love. I have a farm which I may lose before the end of the month, I have a mother to support, and if Paul and Betsy don't turn up I'll have a set of twins to bring up as well. If I lose the farm and go back to my job you'll get damn all to live on. Do you think any girl in her right mind would say yes to a proposal like that one, Judy ?'

  If she loved you she would jump at
the chance.' Judy's voice was low.

  Well, she isn't getting the chance.' Mark's voice was strained. I may be an optimistic fool to think I can swing this farm, but I'd be crazy to contemplate marriage with all the rest hanging over my head. Now go and

  make me a cup of tea, and if you ever shove me in the lagoon again I'll put you over my knee and paddle your bottom. Now get going !'

  CHAPTER VIII

  The next week was one of the happiest Judy had ever spent. She went fishing with Mac and Peter and earned their praise by catching a three-pound trout.

  Peter was so proud of her, his very own pupil, and was not a bit deterred when Mac warned him that he would end up in gaol with Judy for encouraging her to fish without a licence.

  If the ranger came along, I'd take back the rod,' he explained happily. "Course, Judy is so pretty she would only have to smile at him and he'd let her go.'

  On Sunday Mark took them all out to a speedboat regatta at Lake Moana, and friends there gave Judy the thrill of her life by letting her try water-skiing. She spent more time in the water than on it, but it did not weaken her enthusiasm for the sport.

  On the following Wednesday afternoon she came home to find Nan entertaining a visitor. Judy knew before Nan introduced them that this was Zelda. Judy had been prepared to hate her on sight, but before she had been in her company very long she knew she could not hate her. Zelda was small and slender, a quiet, shy girl with a very sweet smile. No wonder Mark felt protective towards her; any

  man would. Zelda spent a lot of time at the farm. She followed Mark around and Judy saw them having long earnest conversations.

  Judy was jealous, horribly jealous. She could not bear the bitter heartache that came when she saw Mark put a carelessly casual arm around Zelda, or took her hand walking down the path. Judy despised herself for being resentful. She liked Zelda; she loved Mark; if she was a decent person she should have been pleased to see them so happy.

  One night as she leaned out of her window gazing at the stars she saw them walk out to Zelda's car, Zelda's voice carried clearly to her. 'Oh, Mark, you are a silly fool! Money is nothing. You've got your values mixed, it's love that makes the world go round.'

  Judy did not hear Mark's reply, but she did see him put his hands on Zelda's slight shoulders, just as he had done to her only a week ago. Judy turned away from the window. It was no use tormenting herself. Mark was her friend, but he loved Zelda. Three weeks more and she would be able to leave. Tomorrow she would go into town and buy her ticket. That would help her to accept the reality of her eventual, but definite, departure. She lay in bed, but did not sleep, nor did she cry. The pain she felt was too deep for tears; it was a tearing, aching loneliness for Mark's arms to be around her, for his lips to be on hers.

  As she drove from Greymouth the next day she could see the huge mountain range, the Southern Alps, stretched out before her, in the distance. Strange how they had fascinated her from the day she had come to the farm. Suddenly she decided that before she left New Zealand she was going to take a trip to the mountains.

  She remembered Lucky offering to take her that night at the cabaret. Of course she knew that he had been joking, and she had laughed at his offer, but she wasn't laughing now. Her determination strengthened as she drew nearer the farm. She would go. Mark did not care where she went or who she went with now; he had Zelda home.

  The next time Lucky rang her she asked him when he was going on the tops again.

  ' It all depends on the weather, Judy. I have three days off next week, starting Wednesday. Why do you ask ?'

  ' You offered to take me with you once. Well, now I want to go.'

  ' You've got to be joking!'

  No, I'm quite serious,' Judy assured him. `I'm leaving for England on the first of March, and it's something I want to do before I leave. Will you take me, Lucky ?'

  ' Like that, is it, chicken ? Well, you can't win them all. I'm sorry.'

  `Will you take me ?' Judy pleaded.

  'Sure, I'll take you. Let me think a minute. I know just the place for you. It's a stiffish climb, but you should manage it okay. Are you sure you want to go ? Mark may not let you.'

  Mark won't be worried. He's otherwise occupied at the moment. What do I have to wear ?'

  'A comfortable pair of boots or shoes for a start, shorts and shirt if you want to, but bring a pair of slacks and a warm jersey in case it turns cold. We can go up and back in the one day, if we get an early start'

  what's the name of the mountain I'm going to climb ?'

  'Round Hill.'

  I don't want a hill, I want to climb a mountain,' Judy argued.

  'It's quite a hill. You'll do very well if you get to the top of it. It's about four thousand feet or a bit over. Do you want me to pick out a bigger one ?' laughed Lucky.

  `No, Round Hill will do nicely, thanks.' Then she had second thoughts. I've never done any climbing, Lucky. I don't know any-thing about ropes and all those fancy things you've got to do on rocks. Perhaps I might cause you too much trouble:

  Oh, there's no need for roping, you'll do fine. It will be tough going for you, though, but let me warn you that once you start I won't let you turn back even if I have to

  drag you to the top by your hair. Still game to give it a go ?'

  Yes.'

  Right, I'll give you a ring Tuesday night, just in case you change your mind. We'll have to start from here at four-thirty in the morning. See you!' and he hung up.

  Judy listened anxiously to the weather report and was reassured to hear ' fine weather' predicted. On Tuesday night after Lucky rang Judy returned to the dinner table.

  May I have the day off tomorrow, please, Mark ?'

  Mark looked surprised. 'Why, sure. Going somewhere ?'

  ' I'm going away for the whole day. I'll be leaving at four-thirty a.m., and I won't be back until quite late. You don't mind, do you, Nan ?'

  `Not at all, dear. Don't worry about me, I'm disgustingly healthy these days.'

  Judy knew this was far from the truth, because as day followed day, and no news came from South America, Nan seemed to grow more frail. Judy worried about her, but there was nothing she could do except insist on making her rest each afternoon.

  Where are you going, Judy ?' asked Vicki.

  `I bet I know,' Peter said. ' Someone is taking you to Christchurch and back. Am I right ?'

  `No, guess again.

  ` I know, I know !' shouted Vicki. You're going to the glaciers ?'

  Wrong again,' teased Judy. 'You'd never guess in a hundred years.'

  `The Pancake Rocks ?—no, you wouldn't have to start that early,' Peter guessed again. `The glow-worm caves and the greenstone factory at Hokitika ?' When Judy shook her head Vicki urged, `Tell us, Judy, where are you going ?'

  I'm going to climb a mountain.'

  Peter questioned, 'Which one ? How high is it ? Who's taking you ?'

  Judy smiled, ` Well, it's not really a mountain. The name is Round Hill and it's over four thousand feet high, and I'm going right to the very top.'

  Have you had any climbing experience, Judy ?' Mark's tone was cautious.

  ` None at all, but I'll have an expert guide,' Judy answered pleasantly.

  `Lucky ?' Mark spat the name out.

  `Yes, Lucky.' Judy's own temper started to rise. He was not going to stop her.

  `You're very foolish. I warned you not to go out with him. I thought you had more sense.'

  Don't you think Lucky is a competent guide ?' Judy asked innocently.

  Oh, he's good all right, one of the best—half mountain goat, but that isn't what I meant, as you very well know.'

  Oh, you're still banging on about his reputation. I've booked my ticket on the plane and I'm leaving in ten days' time. I want to go up to the mountains before I leave. In fact, I want to enjoy as many new experiences as I can before I go.' Her green eyes challenged him.

  I forbid you to go ! ' Mark shouted.

  Judy pushed her chair away from
the table. You can't stop me. You've got no right to try. You look after Zelda, I look after myself.' She turned and ran from the room, out of the gate and up on to the bridge. Leaning on the rail, she looked down into the swift-moving water. Why did she have to lose her temper and make a mess of every-thing ? She had intended to be calm and collected even if Mark tried to stop her, but she had shouted back at him, like a virago. She was bitterly ashamed of herself. Only a few weeks ago she had been so happy and content to be his friend, but that had been before Zelda had returned. Since then she had tried to control her feelings, but tonight, in one flash of temper she had spoiled her hopes of being able to leave here pretending she did not care. Mark, oh, Mark ! She loved him so much she would have died for him. But she wouldn't die, she thought drearily. She would go on living. Back in England the days would pass and the pain would gradually grow less. Some day she would be able to look back on

  her visit to New Zealand as a wonderful memory. Nursing would fill her life, she would make it do so. She returned to the house in a more reasonable frame of mind.

  Nan had started the dinner dishes, so Judy picked up a tea towel. I'm so sorry, Nan. I hope I didn't upset you, but Mark had no business trying to stop me from going with Lucky.'

  ' I'm not upset, Judy dear. You have a perfect right to go where you like, but do be careful.'

  Be careful of Lucky or of the mountain, Nan ?'

  Both,' answered Nan with a wicked smile. `He's a most attractive man.'

  `I'm in no danger from Lucky's charms. He doesn't interest me, except as a friend, but as I'm leaving, I would like to do this trip. The mountains have fascinated me ever since I came here. I have a feeling that when I get to the top of my mountain, my troubles will look very small and insignificant.'

  I understand, Judy.' Nan's voice was kind.

  They finished the dishes in silence, both busy with their own thoughts. As Judy hung up the tea towel she asked, Where are the twins ? Have they gone to bed ?'

  `No, they went to see Mac. Oh, Judy, I am upset over you leaving. I never interfere with my children's lives, but this time I've been