by Layne, Lyssa
“What? Too busy playing house?”
Jesse shrugged and tried to play it off. “Katy’s fragile, I can’t just tell her I’m going to the bar to get laid.”
“You used to do that every night.”
“That was before…” he trailed off, not wanting to mention Nick’s death out loud. “After seeing what Nick and Kate had, I made up my mind I was going to find my own Mrs. O’Neil.”
Murph raised an eyebrow. “I hope you aren’t thinking that a certain Dr. Katy Garrity might be that one…”
“Hell no!” Jesse lied.
Murph nodded. “Good, because you know the rule.”
Jesse stood up, slamming his locker shut. “Yeah, I know the fuckin’ rule.”
***
Katy sat on the Oriental rug that covered the wood floor in Jeremiah’s apartment. Nicky crouched down a few feet away, racing his truck from one side of the room to the other. Jeremiah walked back into the living room holding a carton of Chinese noodles.
He stood over her, holding up chopsticks. “Last bite!” She looked up and he dropped the noodles into her mouth.
“Mmm…” Katy swallowed the lo mein. “I love that place.”
Jeremiah sat beside her. “Did you like Char’s room?”
As soon as they had arrived, Jeremiah showed her around his daughter’s nursery that his mom had paid to have decorated. He came from money, and even though he was a doctor, mommy and daddy still picked up the tab on most everything. The room was very girly with pink and purple butterflies fluttering all around the room.
“The designer did a great job.”
“But…”
There he went again, knowing she had more on her mind. “But, it’s not very personal. Right now, it looks like a nursery out of the pages of a Pottery Barn catalog.”
“What should I do then?” He picked up Nicky and the three of them went to look at Charlotte’s room again.
Katy walked in the room and pointed to the crib. “First off, a baby doesn’t need a pillow, much less five of them.” She narrowed her eyes at him as she picked them up and put them in the closet. “Here,” she pointed to some space on a shelf and said, “put a picture of you or your parents so she’s surrounded by family. Put her name above her crib, little things like that.”
Jeremiah nodded. “I knew you’d have the touch.”
They headed back into the living room. Nicky returned to his truck while Katy laid down on the couch. “I’m so full!” she said patting her belly.
As Jeremiah sat down, she lifted her head and laid it on his lap. He reached over and gently rested his hand on her stomach. Katy smiled at him from her upside-down position.
With a serene look, he asked. “Do you think this is what it would be like?”
“What’s like?”
“If we’d have stayed together, started a family…”
Katy frowned. She felt bad for Jeremiah. He hadn’t always wanted kids, even when she was pregnant when they were together, her miscarriage had been a relief for him. However, after being around Nicky, he’d changed his mind. Unfortunately, Sarah, an intern they worked with, didn’t give Jeremiah a chance to fully experience her pregnancy. Jeremiah’s parents had already contacted a lawyer about custody so Sarah knew she wouldn’t be able to fight him in that aspect.
Katy put her hand over his where it still rested on her stomach but before she could answer, he changed the subject and asked, “You sure you’re still up for delivering?”
“Of course! I kind of owe you.” Katy smiled up at him from his lap. Katy’s water had broken as she heard about the death of her husband. The labor was fast and painful as Katy vetoed drugs and also refused to push. It wasn’t until Tiffany dragged Jeremiah into the delivery room and talked sense into her that Katy finally delivered Nicky.
He grinned. “Yes, you do,” he said and squeezed his hand where it rested on her stomach. Katy looked at him confused by his words and actions. His phone rang and he quickly jumped up and went into the kitchen to talk.
Katy moved to the floor to play with Nicky. Jeremiah and she had previously had a long conversation about their relationship and where it was and where it would never go, they’d both agreed on that. She was tired so she must have imagined what just happened.
***
Their shift slowed down and Jesse was able to sneak in a two-hour nap. As he changed out of his bunker gear, Murph slapped him on the shoulder.
“Drink with the crew? Seems like you could use one.”
Katy texted him to let him know she and Nicky were going to Jeremiah’s after work. He wasn’t thrilled about this, knowing their history, but Jeremiah no longer seemed romantically interested in Katy, so Jesse didn’t ask any questions. It’d been awhile since he’d been out with the guys and it sure beat going home to an empty house.
“Sure,” he said as he splashed on some Brut cologne and followed Murph out of the firehouse.
An hour later, Jesse sat at the bar, feeling a good buzz from the five beers he had downed. Murph, who was married, was flirting with the ladies, trying to find one for Jesse. The younger firefighter took a swig of his beer and told his friend, “Murph, stop. I can find one on my own.”
Murph clinked his bottle against Jesse’s and exclaimed, “That’s what I like to hear!”
Jesse finished his beer and turned around to order another. A tall blonde with extra-long legs stood next to him. He gave her a once-over, spending more time on her curvaceous backside.
She smiled and flipped her hair. “Hi, I’m Leah.”
Jesse shook her hand, his playboy days coming back to him. “Jesse,” he introduced himself, then added, “Can I buy you a drink?” because he convinced himself it was the polite thing to do.
She nodded. “Vodka tonic,” she told the bartender.
Jesse paid for the drinks as he turned to her. “Miss Leah, tell me what you do.” His old charm came back to him easily as he continued to drink.
“I’m an actress playing the part of a student. What about you?”
Jesse smiled. He knew younger women were fun.
“I work for FDNY.”
“Oh! I love firemen!” she exclaimed and moved closer touching his chest. He glanced down, seeing straight into her blouse and smiled as he pulled her out on the dance floor. The fireman thing worked every time.
***
“Last call!” the bartender yelled to the few people still drinking. Murph had left a couple hours earlier, leaving Jesse and Leah to better acquaint themselves. Jesse settled his tab with the bartender and turned to Leah. She leaned against him and went in for a kiss. He dodged it and put a quick peck on her cheek. It had been a fun night drinking and dancing, not having to hide his affection in public like he did with Katy but he wasn’t going to let it go any further.
“Thanks for hanging out,” Jesse said as he tried to step around her.
“I had a great time,” she whispered in his ear. Her warm breath on his neck made his hair stand up. She pulled his earlobe slowly between her teeth.
“Mmm…” Her lips on his ear felt good and he knew she’d be down for anything he wanted. It had been over a year since he’d had sex ...but no, he had Katy waiting for him at home even though he didn’t know when they’d actually cross that bridge. Leah’s lips nipped his earlobe and he didn’t stop her. Jesse muttered, “I need to go.”
She nodded and mumbled, “Me too.”
She took his hand and walked outside with him. Jesse followed to her car, not that she was in any condition to drive. Her hips swayed from left to right and Jesse felt all the blood rushing between his legs. Taking an extra-long step, he adjusted himself fighting the urge to push her against the car in front of him and have his way with her.
Her car lights flashed as she pressed the key fob and she turned around kissing him quickly. Lost in the moment, Jesse’s lips met hers as he ran his hands over her body then moved them under her skirt. It’d been too long since he’d felt a woman’s touch like t
his. He wanted, no, needed this. Stop, Jesse, you’ve got a good girl at home, his conscience told him. Finally, he broke the kiss and stepped back putting her an arm’s length away.
“I really need to go.”
Leah stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. “You led me on all night and I don’t even get anything?”
He kissed her cheek and politely tried to brush her off and said, “You seem like a great girl.”
Leah moved in for another kiss, her hand sliding over his jeans where he was throbbing inside. “Let me prove it to you.”
Jesse jumped, surprised by her sudden movement and pushed her hand away. “Oh I believe you could, but...I have to get home to my family.”
Leah let go of him and frowned. “You’re married?”
Jesse didn’t answer. Before she could try to tempt him again, he hailed two separate cabs for each of them. He crawled into the back of the taxi to go home to Katy and Nicky—his family.
CHAPTER SIX
Glancing at the clock, Katy decided she had time for a quick run before she had to head to work. It was Thanksgiving morning and the guys had just left to go to Jesse and Nick’s parents’ houses. Nick and Jesse grew up next door to each other and celebrated every holiday together their entire lives. Katy had taken the day shift at the hospital so she would catch up with them later.
As she laced up her shoes and walked out the door, she smiled at the jack-o-lantern that still sat on the front porch. A week had passed and the memory of the night they carved the pumpkin came back to her as she took off down the driveway. Neither she nor Jesse mentioned what happened in the bathroom. She worried Jesse might be frustrated with her for more than one reason, but instead he had been even more caring and patient than he normally was. She knew she couldn’t keep leading him on and not be intimate.
Katy pretended she didn’t know where her fear of intimacy with Jesse stemmed from but she knew exactly what that fear was. She was afraid that sleeping with Jesse would mean she was over Nick. She was afraid that for every time she enjoyed being with Jesse, it would take away from the good times she shared with her husband. She was afraid of replacing Nick with Jesse. She was afraid making love to Jesse would be a betrayal of Nick. She knew Jesse thought the same way. He never pushed her, although she could tell waiting was starting to take its toll on him.
Then there was the fact that Jesse had always been a ladies’ man. When she and Nick were together, her husband used to tease Jesse about his flavors of the week. It wasn’t until Nick died that he finally committed to one woman—her. She didn’t want to tie him down with her family but he’d said that he’d loved her and if she’d learned anything from Nick Garrity, it was that she needed to love unconditionally and not worry about the what-ifs.
The time had to come soon. Maybe tonight? They’d put Nicky to bed, visit with the families, then she’d head up to bed at the Garrity’s, and he’d go to his parents’ house. She would sneak out like a teenager and they could go somewhere quiet and secluded. Should she pack something special or would her bra and panties be okay? She didn’t want him to realize she’d thought it out but she wanted it to be special at the same time.
HONK!!!
Startled, Katy looked up at the flashy SUV in front of her. She’d been too busy daydreaming to notice that she’d stepped out in front of a car. The driver glared at her and honked again. She waved to apologize and turned around to head back to the house. Her body was filled with adrenaline as she ran on shaky legs. She never thought clearly when sex was involved.
***
“There are my boys!” Jesse heard his mom, Cathy O’Neil, shout as he and Nicky walked up the driveway. She took Nicky from him and planted a wet kiss on both of their cheeks as they walked into the house.
He stopped by the living room for a brief hello to his father and Nicky’s grandpa, Andy Garrity. Nicky gave both the men big hugs and sloppy kisses then followed his mom to the kitchen. He watched her set Nicky in his high chair while she finished preparing dinner.
“Mom, don’t let him fill up on snacks.”
Cathy pinched her son’s cheek and smiled. “Look at you being fatherly, I thought I’d never see the day.”
Jesse shifted uncomfortably and headed into the living room to watch football with the men. He didn’t mind standing in for his friend as Nicky’s father, hell, he even enjoyed it. He considered Nicky his own, but he hated how Katy cringed whenever people called him Nicky’s father.
While Cathy had mourned the death of Nick, who was like a son to her, she was more than thrilled to have Nicky in her life, especially since she didn’t have any grandkids of her own. Jesse had been very clear with her though, that she was not to have Nicky call her Grandma, and Papa was strictly for Andy.
Jesse sat on the floor leaning against the couch. He knew Nicky wouldn’t last long in the kitchen and he’d be ready to play with the toddler when he joined them in the living room. His dad, Tom, filled him in on the game as the Cowboys scored another touchdown. The men sat in silence other than the occasional “oh” or “ugh” whenever a play occurred.
Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving was the hardest for the Garrity clan. The last time they held a Thanksgiving celebration at their house two years ago, Andy’s wife Lisa, who had cancer, had cooked a huge spread and decorated her house from top to bottom. It had only been three weeks since they met, but Nick introduced Katy to his family and later that day, they were engaged. Little did they all know, it was the last Thanksgiving for both Lisa and Nick.
At halftime, Nicky came running into the living room and flung himself at Jesse. He laughed and started wrestling with the toddler on the floor. Tom encouraged Nicky, shouting tips on how to tickle Jesse, not that the child understood, but he loved the attention and hammed it up even more. Jesse let up as Nicky laughed hysterically and gave him a chance to catch his breath.
He glanced over at Andy who was watching him intently, tears in his eyes. Jesse knew what Nick’s father was thinking. It should be his son on the floor playing with Nicky. Jesse knew it was a fine line he walked with Andy Garrity, and he never wanted to cross it. He never wanted Andy to think he was trying to take his son’s place. Jesse whispered to Nicky, who walked over and crawled up in Andy’s lap as the game came back on. Andy patted little Nicky’s head as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
***
The mood lightened once Abby and her daughters showed up. Andy relaxed as more of “his” family arrived. It was ironic how he had gone from being married to Lisa and raising two boys to now, when his only family left were his daughters-in-law and grandchildren. He loved Katy and Abby like his own, and had taken over both of their honey-do lists in the absence of their husbands. Trying to fill the void his sons left behind, he did anything he could for his grandchildren.
Cathy and Abby served pumpkin pie as everyone sat at the table, still stuffed from the Thanksgiving meal. Cathy placed a piece in front of Jesse, but he waved it off. He glanced at the clock and stood up.
“No thanks, Mom, I’m good. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go visit a few friends and I’ll be back a little later.”
Her eyes lit up. “Of course! I promise I’ll take good care of Nicky.” And by good care, she meant she was going to spoil him even more.
He kissed her cheek and gave a quick farewell to everyone else. He glanced at the clock one more time. Katy would be arriving around ten, so he only had six hours to get there and back. He warmed up his truck wishing his best friend was here. Nick was the only one who knew where he had to be and Jesse needed his advice.
***
It had been a busy day in the ER which was nice because it made the time go quickly. Unfortunately, Katy had been called into surgery toward the end of her shift and didn’t leave the hospital until after midnight. After the stress of the day she’d had, she made up her mind that tonight was the night with Jesse. She pressed harder on the gas pedal so she could get to the Garritys and O’Neils faster, mainly because she was a
fraid she would chicken out.
She imagined what it would feel like with Jesse’s naked body on top of her—No! She shook her head trying to think of something else, anything else. She didn’t want to be on edge before she even saw him. It would be their first time, her first time in a long time, and she didn’t want it to be over too fast.
She started thinking about Tiffany and the mystery guy she was dating. It was unlike Tiff to not kiss and tell. Maybe this guy was different. Katy could understand not wanting to jinx it so maybe Tiff was keeping it to herself until she knew for sure he was the one. She smiled, happy her friend had found someone, and wondered what he might be like.
A little before two, she turned into the Garrity’s’ driveway and turned off her headlights. Pulling down her visor, she opened the mirror to check her make-up one last time. Shifting into park, she turned the ignition off and got out of her Yukon which used to be Nick’s. She looked over at the O’Neil’s’ house, but didn’t see Jesse’s truck. Hmm, she frowned and headed inside Andy’s to check on Nicky.
She pushed the door open, trying to be quiet. When she walked into the living room, she smiled as she saw Andy snoring with Nicky fast asleep on his chest. Katy knelt beside the recliner and kissed Andy’s cheek. Her father-in-law stirred and woke up.
“Hey, Katy Bug. Cathy hogged him all day so I wanted a little extra snuggle time with my guy.”
Katy smiled and nodded. “It’s okay. Want me to lay him down?”
Andy shook his head. “I can do it.”
She stood up, rubbing her son’s back and said, “I’m going next door to get Nicky’s pajamas.”
Andy placed his hand on top of hers. “I can’t do it myself, but tell him I’m grateful for the way he’s taking care of you both.”
Tears tickled Katy’s eyes and she nodded as she walked back outside. She closed the door and saw Jesse’s truck turn into his parents’ driveway. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to stay warm as she made her way to him. This was it, no turning back now.
