Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  He’d never seen it that way until Missey put it in those terms. He thought back to the conversation he had with Murph on the way to the ball. He had been saying those same exact things. And apparently, his buddy had told Missey his secret so why should he feel guilty that he was taking over Nick’s life?

  He sighed and joined the guys from his crew where Murph was still telling tales of Ladder 28. As Jesse walked up to the group, Chambers muttered, “You’re an old has-been, Murph, who can’t even get a real date.”

  His drunk lieutenant threw down his drink and took a step toward Chambers. “I am not, you douchebag!” Murph pulled back his left arm and Jesse quickly jumped between the men, catching Murph’s left hook square in his eye. The two older men still tried to fight with him caught in between, hitting him more than each other.

  It took quite a few burly firefighters to break up the brawl between the crews of Engine 58 and Ladder 28. The men stood there in their tattered dress uniforms while blood trickled down their lips, waiting for someone to make the next move. The chief from another department gathered Murph and his men, taking them to the other side of the room while the crew of Ladder 28 was escorted out. The men of Engine 58 were next, but security was smart enough to not let them leave at the same time.

  Murph grabbed a beer as they waited. He took a long swig and laughed. “It’s been too long since I’ve been in a rumble like that.”

  Jesse held a cold bottle of beer to his eye, which was throbbing from where Murph hit him. He wiped his bloody lip with a napkin, then narrowed his eyes at Murph. Both men knew they’d be reprimanded come Monday.

  Jesse glared at Murph. “Where the hell did that come from?”

  Murph, who obviously had a few too many drinks, commented, “Someone had to defend the Garrity women!”

  Jesse spit blood into the napkin as he shook his head. His comment was a low-blow and Murph knew it. The old man draped his arms over Jesse’s shoulders and in a not so quiet tone slurred, “I thought it would be you, but apparently a certain Dr. Garrity is too hot to keep your hands off of.”

  Jesse glanced around and saw the guys looking away pretending that they hadn’t heard their lieutenant's words. So this was how the crew were going to find out. He shoved Murph off him and faced his FDNY family.

  “You heard him, it’s true. I’m messing around with Nick’s wife.” Jesse wasn’t about to admit that he was in love. He turned to Murph and asked, “Happy?” He threw the beer bottle on the table with the napkin and stormed out of the room.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Jesse wound up at O’Malley’s. When Nick was around, his buddy would run home to Katy after a bad day, while Jesse would turn to O’Malley’s, looking for the flavor of the day. He sipped a whiskey at the bar, not making eye contact with anyone as he tried to organize his thoughts.

  First things first—Katy. He squeezed his eyes tight, picturing her tonight. Her sculpted shoulders, the soft, smooth back he’d run his hand over all evening…He shook his head, if he’d played it right, he’d be in bed with her right now instead of alone at the bar. Katy was the entire package. Smart, beautiful, athletic, motherly...and his best friend’s widow. But she loved him back, right? He hadn’t imagined that. He closed his eyes again, trying to picture life without her, but quickly opened them. He didn’t like that image at all.

  He took another sip of his drink. Okay, Murph. What was his problem? He’d seemed okay with his relationship with Katy, but then tonight he threw him under the bus in front of all the guys. He knew he’d be on proby duty for the next couple weeks. He didn’t care, it was worth it to not have to hide anymore. He figured when Murph sobered up, he’d discuss it with him then.

  He polished off his drink as he thought about the other factor in tonight’s drama. Nick Garrity was supposed to be his best friend. Jesse had sworn him to secrecy with information that would shake his entire family. Nick promised he’d take it to the grave with him and Jesse thought he had. However, after Missey’s comment, Jesse had reason to believe Nick had let it slip during pillow talk. He was clueless how to handle this one. He couldn’t let Katy know before he was ready to tell her.

  He ordered one more shot and threw it back quickly. Things were almost finished and he’d be able to tell everyone. He just had to find a way to know if Missey was talking about the same thing he was.

  ***

  Bright red digital numbers told Katy it was three in the morning. Her eyes had just fluttered shut as she drifted off to dreamland. She lay in bed analyzing every moment of the evening, wondering what had happened with Jesse. Normally, she would have called Tiffany to obsess over the evening’s events, but it’d been a month and they still hadn’t talked which was a whole other reason to worry. Finally, after a couple hours of this torture, she gave up and tried to sleep.

  She hoped she’d meet Nick in her dreams. He sometimes came to her. He never spoke, instead he held her and reassured her everything would be okay. The months following his death, she’d fallen asleep to this image almost every night. The further time got away from the last time they were together, the less he came to her.

  She hugged a pillow, imagining it was him. She tried to remember the last thing she’d told him, but for the life of her, she couldn’t. As she racked her brain, trying to think of only a few words, she felt herself being pulled into an embrace. She rolled over to snuggle into his chest. As she wrapped her arms around him, she realized she wasn’t in a dream. Jesse was lying beside her with his arms wrapped tightly around her.

  She touched his cheek and whispered, “What happened tonight?”

  He winced as her hand touched his face. “Ow,” he mumbled.

  Katy reached over him and turned on the light. She gasped as she saw his enlarged, bloody lip and his right eye almost swollen shut. She started to jump out of bed, but he grabbed her hand.

  “I’m okay. Just lie with me, please.”

  Katy bit her lip, knowing his eye needed ice, but she sat back down beside him. “What’s going on, Jesse?”

  He moved his head to her stomach and instinctively, she ran her fingers through his hair. “With us? I freaked out. My face? Murph punched me and then told the guys about us.”

  Katy wanted to ask more, but instead she laughed. Jesse smiled and ran his hand over her leg. “Do you forgive me?” he asked softly.

  Her hand stopped as she nodded. “Yes, but only if you don’t do it again.”

  She lightly touched his chin so that he’d look up at her. He did, grimacing in more pain as he turned to her. She ran her finger along his chin line. “There’s no need to freak out. I love you, Jesse O’Neil, and whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”

  Jesse ran his hand under the FDNY t-shirt she was wearing. He smiled as his fingers ran over her lace panties and she reached in the nightstand for a condom. Holding up the condom, she announced, “Ice first and this later.”

  Katy sat the condom on the nightstand as she sashayed out of the bedroom while Jesse quickly undressed. She returned topless with a bag of ice a few minutes later. Jesse lay naked under the sheet and liked what he saw with his left eye. She crawled over him, pushing him to lie back.

  She turned off the light and kissed his neck lightly as she placed the ice on his eye. Taking an ice chip from the bag, she rubbed it over his nipple. He yelped as she did and she squeezed her thighs tightly. She smiled as she prepared to make him pay for his freak out.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Flowers sat in front of Katy’s locker in the doctors’ lounge. She smiled and knew exactly who they were from. Only one person ever sent her tulips because he knew they were her favorite. Flipping the card over, she read, “Happy birthday, Knockout! I hope all your birthday wishes come true. XXX, Jer.”

  She inhaled the scent of the flowers as the door flung open. Tiffany waltzed in and rolled her eyes as she nodded toward the flowers. “Why does he always get those?”

  Katy picked up the floral arrangement, tensing slight
ly at Tiffany’s entrance. “He knows they’re my favorite,” she said defensively, although she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to defend her relationship with Jeremiah.

  Tiffany cut herself a piece of the birthday cake one of the interns had made for Katy. She licked some icing off her finger and took a bite. Turning to Katy, she let out a long sigh and said, “Look, Kit Kat, I wanted to apologize about what I said.”

  The best friends hadn’t talked since their argument in February, almost two months ago. Katy had been hurt by what Tiffany said, but she realized something else must be going on in her friend’s life. She had missed Tiffany too much to continue being upset, and reached up to give her a hug. Tiffany reciprocated with a bear hug of her own. Both women spoke at the same time which resulted in laughter.

  Katy started over. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”

  Tiffany took a deep breath. “Mystery Man and I are over. I realized he was still in love with his ex and didn’t want to commit.” She shrugged. “I’m over it. I’ve been having fun with the guy from radiology.”

  Katy could tell her friend wasn’t over it by the tone of her voice, but if Tiff didn’t want to dwell on it then she wasn’t going to make a fuss either.

  She squeezed Tiffany’s hands, trying to find that familiar friendship the two shared. “So...details!”

  Tiffany laughed and told her a few embarrassing facts about the x-ray guy that Katy knew she wouldn’t be able to forget when she saw him again. Tiffany looked at her and asked, “So what about you and Jesse? Wedding bells in the future?”

  Katy frowned. “No wedding for a long time, but things are actually really good. His crew knows and hasn’t given him too much trouble.”

  After the St. Paddy’s fight and Murph ratting them out, there hadn’t been much repercussion regarding their relationship. Jesse and Murph sat down and had a man-to-man talk. It turned out he was still grieving Nick’s loss and in his inebriated state, he took it out on Jesse.

  Tiffany nudged her. “Your wedding days are over?”

  Katy bit her lip. “I guess it’s just the last way for me to hold on to Nick.” She twirled her wedding ring back and forth. Tiffany put her arm around her and clutched her shoulders.

  The door opened again and both girls looked to see who it was. Jeremiah grinned at both of them. He walked over, kissing Tiffany on the cheek first. She stiffened at his touch and moved toward the door as he kissed Katy in the same manner.

  Tiffany mumbled, “I’ll catch up with you later.”

  Katy waved good-bye as Jeremiah took her hand. “Love the flowers?”

  She laughed. “Of course. You’re the only one who knows they’re my favorite,” she said and gave him a small embrace before asking, “How’s my girl?”

  He beamed like the proud father that he was. “She’s growing like crazy!”

  Katy saw Charley every other week when the baby stayed with Jeremiah. She’d bring Nicky over while Jesse was at work and they’d dine on their favorite Chinese food. Katy felt like Jeremiah was more comfortable with the baby when she was around, but he knew what he was doing and that little girl was already enamored with her father.

  “Why don’t you come over tomorrow night and we’ll celebrate your birthday?”

  Katy pursed her lips. “You don’t have Charley tomorrow.”

  He nodded. “I know, but I thought we could just hang out. I’ll cook your favorite—tilapia and sweet potatoes.”

  Katy’s stomach growled as he mentioned the food and he laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  ***

  Jesse stood in the jewelry store trying to decide what to get Katy for her birthday. He knew she wasn’t ready for marriage again and he was alright with that. Even though things probably wouldn’t be much different than they were now, he wasn’t sure he was ready either. Still, he wanted to show her his commitment.

  He stared into the promise and engagement ring case, trying to decide if he should get one or go to Bath & Body Works to pick up lotion instead. Lotion seemed like the safer choice, but since when did he take the safe choice? He noticed the long pair of legs through the glass and followed them up to a pretty blonde.

  “Would you like to see one of the engagement rings?” She flashed him a seductive smile, not at all trying to sell him a ring.

  Normally, Jesse would have flirted back, but what she was implying made him freeze. “Umm...I’m...just looking.”

  She laughed. “That’s what they all say.” She opened the case and brought out a tray of rings. One immediately caught his eye and he reached for it. He put it on his pinkie to inspect it closer. It was a white gold band with diamond strips weaving in between each other and a line of rubies in the middle. It was the perfect ring for Dr. Katy Garrity.

  He looked up at that sales lady. “I’ll take this one.”

  ***

  Katy didn’t want to go out for her birthday. She had requested they stay in as a family, order pizza, and watch Finding Nemo for the hundredth time. Jesse cancelled the reservations he’d made at Mario’s. The movie wasn’t even halfway over when both Katy and Nicky had fallen asleep in his arms. Jesse sat holding her in one arm, Nicky in the other, and decided she’d had the right idea to stay in.

  Even though they were both fast asleep, he didn’t move, afraid he’d wake one of them. The movie was almost over when his phone buzzed with a text message. He reached with one finger to scoot it closer to him. He picked it up and read the message. It was his lawyer.

  He slowly moved his arm from under Katy. Then he stood up and carried Nicky to his room, laying him in bed. Jesse made his way to the kitchen to return the text with a phone call.

  “I got your text. You really think it’ll be that soon?”

  His stomach churned as he listened to his lawyer explain things to him.

  “Father’s Day though? We could be done by then?”

  He relaxed as he was reassured he wouldn’t have to keep his secret much longer.

  “No, no, that’s awesome news. Thank you!”

  He hung up grinning. When he turned around, he saw Katy standing in the doorway. He hoped she hadn’t heard anything and decided to play along that she didn’t. He walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her then began moving south.

  “Mmm,” she moaned as he lifted her shirt and kissed her belly. “Who was on the phone?”

  Jesse ignored her and trailed his lips along her panty line as he pushed her pants to her thighs. Her fingers fumbled through his hair as he backed her against the doorframe, pushing her pants to the floor and spreading her legs. He kissed the inside of her thighs, rubbing her through her panties.

  She shuffled her legs trying to get her panties off for him. He stopped her and grinned. “I’m going to tease you first.” He nuzzled her over her underwear and blew his warm breath against her sensitive skin.

  He picked her up in both arms and carried her toward the bedroom. She kissed his neck and whispered, “I’ll let you distract me right now, but you’re going to have to tell me what’s going on sooner or later.” He threw her on the bed, pulling off his shirt. He nodded, knowing that the time was indeed sooner than later.

  ***

  Katy reluctantly let Jesse go to work. She had begged and pleaded that he call in sick and spend the day in bed with her. While he was tempted, they both knew he wouldn’t do it. Katy pouted enough that he’d jumped back in bed for one more round, finishing off the brand-new box of condoms he’d bought just a few days before.

  Katy stood in the hot steam from her shower, trying to relax every muscle in her body. It had been awhile since she’d be teased and pleased like she had last night. She smiled as she replayed every moment in her head. Jesse was an amazing lover and they were both making up for that year of abstinence.

  Her phone beeped as she turned off the water. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a pink towel as she read a text from Tiffany.

  Hope you had a great celebra
tion. Patient requesting you in the clinic.

  Hmm, Katy hadn’t worked in the clinic since her second year of residency. She mainly worked surgeries and the occasional ER shift. Katy’s heart sank as she remembered Jesse was at work.

  She texted back. Don’t tell me it’s Jesse.

  She stood in the bathroom, wrapped only in her towel unable to do anything else until she knew it wasn’t him. She waited for what seemed like an eternity until her phone finally beeped again.

  Don’t be so dramatic.

  Katy let out the breath she was holding. She had to figure out a way to get him to leave the department. She’d lost one too many men to the fire. She quickly pulled on a pair of jeans, an off-the-shoulder t-shirt, and flats, and then headed across town to the hospital.

  When she arrived, Tiffany caught her before she could check in on the patient requesting her. Tiffany was smirking as she walked Katy to the clinic, avoiding all of her questions. Katy was beyond frustrated when Tiffany stopped outside the curtain of a bed.

  She turned to Katy and grinned. “It’s a well-woman check.”

  Katy looked at her confused until she pulled the curtain back. Katy looked at the patient in the bed and her jaw dropped as she saw her niece.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Katy performed the exam without asking a single question, or really even saying a word. Alayna didn’t speak either except for the occasional awkward yelp from the pap smear. Katy discarded her gloves in the trash and wrote on the teenager’s chart. Alayna sat uncomfortably in her paper gown on the table.