Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  “That’s fine. She’s got some other shit she’s dealing with right now, so I doubt she’s in a big hurry anymore.” Bobby set down the Jack bottles and moved on to Jose.

  “Oh? What’s going on? Everything okay?” All that effort to sound casual went right out the window.

  He set down his bottles mid pour. “What exactly is going on between you and my sister?”

  “Nothing.”

  Bobby cocked his brow skeptically.

  “No, really. I mean, I hung out with everyone at the house last weekend, but I haven’t talked to her since.” Why bother holding back now?!

  “You hung out with Wyatt?”

  I nodded. “Your aunt was there, too.”

  Bobby stared at his half empty bottles thoughtfully. “Wyatt’s dad is taking Joss back to court for custody. It’s a fucking disaster. She went through this three years ago and it was goddamn torture for her. I don’t know how she’s going to get through it again. Especially now, after having raised him all this time.”

  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was some part of that I wasn’t following.

  “What do you mean, now that she’s raised him all this time? Was he with his dad before?”

  Bobby was staring at me like he was contemplating how much he could say. Then, with a swift sense of determination, he threw his bar rag onto the counter beside the bottles.

  “Fuck it.” He walked around the bar and had a seat beside me. “Here’s the thing, Wyatt isn’t Joss’s kid. I mean, he is now, but she didn’t give birth to him.”

  What the fuck? “Then who’s his mom? And where is she?”

  “Wyatt’s biological mother was this girl named Cara Leroux. Joss and Cara were best friends practically all their lives, starting when they were like five years old or something. Anyway, Cara wound up pregnant a few years back. It was a one night stand and she never talked about who the dad was. I think Joss just assumed Cara didn’t know enough about the guy to make it worth the conversation.

  “Of course, Joss was with her for everything. Every doctor’s appointment. The stupid birthing classes – I can say that, because I had to fill in for her once – and then the actual delivery. Joss was around for all of it. And she didn’t stop there. I mean, they were roommates anyway, but still, Joss didn’t have to do everything she did. Except of course, she’s Joss, so she doesn’t know how not to do what she does. Whatever. Not the point.” Bobby was shaking his head and I wasn’t sure if it was directed at himself for sharing all of Joss’s business with me, or her for taking on things that weren’t ever hers to carry. I didn’t ask though. Just waited for him to continue.

  “Everything was going pretty well. They had a good routine going. Then, when Wyatt was seven months old, Cara was in a car accident. Drunk driver hit her in an intersection. Killed her instantly."

  “Shit.” Things were quickly making so much sense. Not just the situation with Wyatt, but Joss as well.

  “Shit doesn’t even begin to cover it. Joss was a wreck. She and Cara were like fucking sisters. Then, next thing she knows, some social worker is showing up for Wyatt and because Cara had no living family members to speak of other than her son, he winds up in a foster home.”

  Judging from the expression on Bobby’s face, he hadn’t come to terms with any of it any more than I assumed Joss had.

  “So how did she get Wyatt back?”

  “Turns out, Cara had a will. Since she didn’t have any family left, she saw to it that Joss would be his legal guardian in case anything ever happened to her. Met with a lawyer when Wyatt was only three months old and never even told Joss.”

  “Wow.” I felt like a fucking idiot, all these one word responses. But what else was there to say?

  “Yeah. Except of course, while DCF had Wyatt, they took it upon themselves to track down his father. Wasn’t too hard either because apparently Cara had known who he was all along. Had even listed him on the birth certificate. Which naturally, complicated things when her will was brought to the forefront. Legally it wasn’t real clear who had rights to Wyatt. Judge decided early on it was in his best interest to stay with Joss while they sorted the whole mess out since it had been his home from day one and since she was already a familiar and loving presence in his life.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair several times, still trying to put it all together.

  “So, when Joss found out about Travis, why didn’t she let him be a father to Wyatt? I mean, not to sound like a complete dick, but why fight so hard to keep a guy from his own kid?” I didn’t know her well, but somehow, what I did know didn’t match up with that line of action.

  “She would have if he hadn’t been a Class A piece of shit. Joss went to see him as soon as she found out who he was. Asshole tried to assault her and then threatened to kill her if she tried to take his son. She never even had a chance to tell him she wasn’t going to put up a fight.”

  My blood was coming to an instant boil. “What did she do?”

  Bobby shrugged, a glimmer of pride in his eyes. “What she always does. Kicked him hard in the balls and then went to war with everything she had to keep Wyatt as far away from him as possible.”

  “Did he ever try to make good on his threats?” Mentally I was already trying to figure out how I could park my truck outside of her house night after night without her noticing. If this asshole was back in her life, I wasn’t about to give him free access to her and Wyatt. He’d have to come through me first. And that’d be fucking impossible.

  Bobby’s face turned grim again. “Travis was stalking her all throughout the custody battle, couldn’t ever prove it though. Since the cops wouldn’t do anything, Mattie and I started taking shifts on her couch, along with a couple of the other guys.” He nodded over at the main bar and I knew he meant members of his crew when he said ’other guys’. “The night after Joss won the case, there was a massive fire. Her whole place went up in flames. Fucking miracle everyone got out alive. The house was old and they wrote it off as bad wiring, but I’m telling you, it had Travis written all over it. He must have been worried too, because that was the last we heard of him. Until now.”

  “So are you back to crashing at her place then?”

  Bobby shook his head. “I can’t. Her new house is so fucking far away I’d never get any sleep. I’d be too busy driving back and forth all the damn time. Besides, Aunt Deb is there most nights and so far, Travis hasn’t done anything to suggest he’s stalking Joss again.”

  Somehow that didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

  “I could do it.” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

  “You could do what? Crash at my sister’s and keep an eye out for her stalker? No offense dude, but you offer that right now and you’re going to come off just as creepy as Travis.” He slapped me on the back and chuckled. “I appreciate it though, man. And if it gets to the point that I think she needs it, I’ll let you know.”

  I nodded, but managed to keep my goddamn mouth shut this time. I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking. I barely knew Joss. But then, you didn’t spend over a decade as a SEAL and not come out with some sort of an ingrained need to protect the weak and vulnerable at all cost. Maybe that’s all this was. My instincts running rampant. Maybe after nearly a year of no action, I was just desperate for a mission. No matter what it was.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  My lawyer had just said her goodbyes and taken off after spending twenty minutes reassuring me that everything would work out. I was trying hard to convince myself she knew what she was talking about, but the more I went over it in my head, the closer I came to determining it was all bullshit and she was just bluffing for the sake of my sanity.

  As if he could sense my moment of vulnerability, Travis came slithering over from whatever dark hole in hell he spent the bulk of his time.

  “Won’t be long now.” He was smiling as usual. It took everything I had not to claw his fucking lips off of his smug face.


  “You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to let you get anywhere near my son.” I didn’t shout. I didn’t place my hands on my hips defensively. I didn’t even scowl or squint. In fact, I smiled right back at that asshole. He’d never know how terrified I was of what he could do to me. What he could do to Wyatt.

  “There you go again, getting all confused. I’m his father. You…you’re nobody to him. And soon he’ll know that.” Even though he was trying not to show it, I knew I’d gotten to him by referring to Wyatt as mine. Because that was, after all, what this was all about. I had something of his.

  I laughed. It hurt. Physically. “You’re an idiot, Travis. And I feel bad for you because you’re so stupid you can’t even see how everything you do and say just proves how unfit you are.”

  “If I’m so unfit why did the judge agree to reopen the case? Huh?”

  I shrugged. “Because you found a way to look good on paper. You’re not the only one who can do that, you know?” I nodded, agreeing with myself. I’d made a good point. So what if Travis had gone and gotten married and found a real job. Who was to stop me from doing the exact same thing?

  “See you in court, Travis.” I winked at him as I strolled past as if I didn’t have a care in the world.

  I was halfway to the parking lot when I heard him shout, “A lot can happen in a month, Joss.”

  There wasn’t much need to get creative about what he was insinuating. Travis was back in full force and I’d be sleeping with one eye open for the foreseeable future if I intended to survive him a second time.

  It was already after five by the time I was driving out of there. With traffic working against me, I wouldn’t be home in time for Wyatt’s bedtime as it was. Which might have been better anyway. No matter how much I tried to shield him from things, he was an extremely perceptive child. There was no way he wouldn’t pick up on just how excruciatingly tense and terrified I was right now.

  I sat at the stop sign lingering over my choices. Left would take me home. Right would take me into the historic part of downtown and the Flying Monk. If I was really going to make good on my threat to match Travis on paper, there was no time like the present to get the ball rolling. So, I went right.

  Twenty minutes later and I was barreling through the doors of my brother’s bar and marching straight for the back counter where Mattie was working. Squeezing in between Howie and Ralph sitting in their regular spots, I took one quick look around the place. My brother was nowhere in sight. Good. Bobby’d probably just tell me I was being crazy and kick me out if he heard me.

  “Mattie!”

  He looked up from the beer cooler, two bottles in hand. “Joss, what’s up?” He placed the drinks down on the counter to replace two empty ones and then strolled over to meet me.

  “I need a favor. I need you to marry me.” Shit. I was being crazy.

  Mattie snorted. “That’s a pretty big fucking favor.”

  My face gave way to a pained expression. “I know. I wouldn’t ask, except Travis is back and he’s fighting me for Wyatt again. Apparently, he went and got all cleaned up while he was gone. He’s fucking flawless on paper. Good job. Married with kids! I need to level the playing field.”

  Mattie flipped his bar rag onto his shoulder and leaned over the counter so he wouldn’t have to shout. “Look, Joss. I get what you’re saying, and if things were different I totally would. But I can’t marry you.”

  “Why not?” I sounded like a petulant child who’d been denied dessert.

  “Because,” he shrugged like it was obvious, “Bree.”

  Right around then was when I abandoned all reason and flew completely off the handle. “What do you mean you can’t marry me because of Bree? You two have been dating for like two seconds. You and I have been friends for eight years!”

  Mattie’s eyes went wide. I was pretty sure I’d scared him a little with my outburst. Maybe a lot, judging by the way he was moving his rag from his shoulder to hang from his belt in front of his crotch.

  “It’s not that,” he hissed, “Bree’s pregnant. Just found out yesterday.”

  Any normal person would have offered a congratulatory handshake at this point. But I was no normal person. Clearly. “Are you fucking kidding me? What is so hard about strapping on a motherfucking condom, Mattie?”

  I was well on my way to alienating one of my oldest friends.

  “Shit, Joss. Excuse me for having a kid of my own and not being able to help you with yours.”

  Then, out of nowhere, or rather, two seats over, I heard, “I’ll do it.”

  Derek. I hadn’t even seen him before now. I leaned back to get a better look at his face. “You’ll do what?”

  He was turned sideways in his barstool, Heineken bottle in hand. “I’ll marry you.”

  I was stumped. “You want to marry me?”

  Keeping with his casual tone, Derek nodded to confirm. “I do. Tomorrow morning good for you?”

  Still talking over Howard, who was placed uncomfortably between us, I threw one hand up on my hip and squinted suspiciously. “Why?”

  “Well, the courthouse is closed for the day and I have a job in the afternoon, so I really only have the morning. Unless you want to wait until Thursday…” He was explaining everything so matter-of-factly, I had no choice but to conclude he was even crazier than I was. This had bad idea written all over it.

  “No, not why tomorrow morning. Why do you want to marry me?” I had a lot of nerve using a tone that suggested he was the one sitting in the mental ward, but then, nerve was all I had these days.

  Of course, he was also kind of asking for it. And apparently didn’t mind it.

  “Because I can and Mattie can’t.” As if it was that simple.

  My arms slipped down to my sides, flapping and dangling like lackluster sails abandoned by the wind. “You’re serious.”

  Derek placed his Heineken on the counter and stood up from his seat. He took two steps toward me and then dropped down on one knee. I thought I might throw up.

  “Whooaaa, now. What are you doing?”

  He grabbed one of my limp hands. “Shut up. I got this.” He cleared his throat. “Joss Kelley, for the sake of saving your family and also because I’m hoping this will mean I won’t have to pay you for painting my furniture…will you marry me?”

  Holy shit. I mean, I knew it was a fake proposal. But HOLY SHIT.

  “You’re insane.”

  He didn’t move. “What?! This was your idea. You just proposed to Mattie two minutes ago.”

  “Yeah, but I’ve spent more than just one day with him.”

  Derek shrugged. “And that didn’t seem to work in your favor.”

  I gasped. “You motherfucker. Fine, but remember - You asked for this.”

  “Is that a yes?” Right around then I noticed he was still holding onto my hand.

  “Apparently it is.”

  Derek grinned as he got back to his feet. Then, in case the entire bar crowd wasn’t already staring at us like we were circus freaks, he lifted our hands into the air and shouted, “We’re getting married. Drinks on me!” Naturally, everyone cheered. Except for me.

  “What are you doing? You’re acting like this is a real engagement.” And if he didn’t quit I’d be tempted to believe him. The way my life had been going lately, I’d be all too happy to abandon reality for this kind of deluded fairy tale shit if he continued to throw it around so carelessly.

  “Relax. I know this arrangement is lacking the very vital romance component, but just because it’s a marriage of convenience instead of love, doesn’t mean it can’t be celebrated. Besides, you look like you could use it.” He nudged me gently in the side. “Plus, I’ll take that ‘you’re a fucking moron face’ you’re giving me right now over the one you had when you walked in here, any day of the week.”

  “Good to know. You keep this shit up and you’ll be seeing it a lot.” It was either that or my ugly cry face because he was quite literally moving me to
tears with all of his knight in shiny armor crap. Oh well, if he still wanted to marry me come morning, at least for one brief moment I would be able to claim I had a husband who was not only the sexiest man I’d ever seen, but knew his way around a tool box, was kind to animals, and spent his free time volunteering for children’s charities. Yeah, if I absolutely had to get married, I could do worse than marry Derek Tice.

  ***

  “Here, one round. Don’t go crazy.” I handed Mattie my debit card. I had no fucking clue what I was doing anymore. Apparently, I was getting married though. And, it seemed, I was happy about it. Not because I was looking forward to some fantasy of wedded bliss, but because for the first time since I’d left the Navy, I felt like I had something of value to contribute other than my occasional participation in the dog therapy program.

  I wasn’t hunting down terrorists or fighting for freedom in some repressed shithole of the world, but this meant something, too. Maybe it should have paled in comparison, but truth was, knowing that I could keep a son in the arms of his mother, keep them both together, keep them safe, it seemed like the perfect mission for someone seeking redemption. Not that I could ever truly redeem myself for what I’d done, but maybe, just maybe, if I could pay if forward often enough, I could someday be at peace with the debt I could never pay back.

  When I turned around toward the crowd I saw Joss still standing in the middle of the room, clearly unsure how to proceed. Well, we’d have to wing it because I didn’t know either.

  “Hey,” I tugged her elbow to get her attention. “Let’s step outside for a minute.”

  She pressed her lips together tightly and nodded.

  We walked to the door, followed by random cheers and congratulatory handshakes as we moved through. The deserted sidewalk was a welcome change of pace by the time we finally made it to the exit.

  “You don’t really have to marry me, it’s fine. I mean, it was ridiculous of me to come in here asking Mattie in the first place. I was just desperate.” Joss was rambling. “But seriously, I don’t really expect you to go through with that crazy proposal you made in there.”