Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  ''My first one... ‘No Regret’ on my chest. It marked the beginning of the new path I was ready to take in my life. As you know, I'm a lawyer, too. My father is one of the best lawyers in the state of Washington and I was always pushed in that direction. Following in my dad’s footsteps seemed to be the way to go, but in my heart, I was an artist. I was into writing, drawing, you know... I had been working with Dad for two years when I decided to quit. I wasn't happy and he knew it. That day, I got my first tattoo. I had started tattooing with Kyle on the weekends. He’s like my brother, he taught me everything he knew.''

  ''How did your father react?''

  ''He wasn't happy but to be honest, I didn't expect him to be either. A few weeks after I started tattooing, Kyle and I opened our own shop and the business never stopped. Months ago, I moved to the East Coast, since I wanted to open a shop over there. I worked with very a talented artist and learned a lot. In the end, I decided it wouldn't be worth it. The economy isn’t really doing well right now. So I came back and found you standing behind the bar.''

  I smiled. ''Yeah, I remember that day. You asked for a smile.''

  ''It wasn't the first time I saw you. I’d seen you a couple of times before, but I’d never talked to you before that night.'' He squeezed my hand.

  ''You irritated me as much as you fascinated me.'' It was the truth - that’s exactly how I’d felt about him. His smile from that first night still lingered in my mind.

  ''I still do.'' He laughed. ''You’ll get used to me, Rock Star.''

  ''I guess I will.'' I watched him as he concentrated on the traffic, admiring how handsome he was.

  ''Are you thinking of getting more ink done?'', Levi questioned when we stopped at a set of traffic lights.

  I laughed out loud. ''Are you serious? Hell, no.''

  ''Why not?'' he asked, his tone serious.

  I swallowed back the laughter, worried I might have offended him. ''My mom would kill me. She will kill me if she ever finds out about this one.'' I brushed my fingers across the tiny star.

  ''It’s your body, your life. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. So let me ask you again, are you thinking about having another tattoo?''

  ''Not, right now. The idea hasn't crossed my mind... yet.''

  ''It will.'' He kissed the top of my hand. ''It’s only a matter of time. Tattoos are addictive.''

  He smiled again, and I sat quietly, considering what he’d said about the tattoo thing. I wasn't sure he was right about tattoos being addictive. While I hadn’t thought about getting another one, I wondered if I could work up the courage to do it a second time, knowing how Mom would react if she discovered them. No doubt she would freak out, but Levi was right. It was my body. Time would tell, but my little star made me feel more confident somehow. It was a new addition that I loved, and I thought it was giving me a little edge, making me feel sexy.

  We drove in silence until we got at the shop. He released my hand, much to my disappointment, got out of the car and ran to my side to open my door. As soon as I was out the car, his hand reached for mine again and he hugged me tightly.

  ''I know you have things going on... just try to enjoy the day, okay?'' he demanded.

  I knew what he was alluding to, without him saying the name. ''I’ll talk to him tonight, Levi… he isn't what I want, I know that now. '' His eyes connected with mine, as though he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not, but I was certain. My body and soul needed him. It scared me to a certain extent, because it was so new and my feelings towards him had changed so drastically. Yet I knew Levi wanted to take care of me and I liked that about him. He was real and didn’t pretend to be someone else.

  ''I really want to kiss you right now,'' he said, his voice deep and sensual. It gave me goose bumps all over my body, hearing him saying he wanted to kiss me was.

  ''You and I both know that if we do, we won't get into the shop for another thirty minutes at least, and you've got stuff to do.''

  ''Just a small kiss, I swear,'' he begged huskily.

  I laughed and nodded my agreement. Levi was so freaking cute, he was obviously dying to kiss me and to be honest, it felt good to know how much he wanted me. He pulled me closer to him, until my breasts were pressing against his chest, and we just stared at each other for a minute. Our eyes seemed to connect us together so deeply, we didn't need to talk. His fingers danced across the skin on my arms and up to my neck, until he reached my cheeks. His palms rested against each side of my face and I closed my eyes, knowing what was coming next. ''You are so beautiful, Phoenix,'' Levi whispered against my lips before giving in to temptation. He was in control, going neither too fast or too slow. As far as I was concerned, he had reached a level of perfection. His kisses, his lips -everything about him made me want to push him back into the car and God only knew what would happen in there. He nibbled on my bottom lip before he released me and pulled away.

  ''Again, Lev, more,'' I begged.

  He laughed, pressing his forehead against mine briefly. ''I have to get going now. But I'll take a rain check.'' He kissed the tip of my nose and we walked into the shop. My heart was beating fast and I didn't just have butterflies dancing in my tummy, I had hummingbirds flapping around in there. I was rapidly falling in love with him, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

  Kyle was looking at us with a huge grin on his face when we came in. He was sitting at the drawing table. ''I'm glad you guys came up with some kind of arrangement... it might help with Lev’s mood swings, stop him from being so cranky.''

  ''Shut up, man.'' Levi frowned.

  I laughed out loud. Had I really been giving him that hard a time before? ''Was I the reason for your bad mood?'' I asked, with a smile on my lips. He avoided looking at me. ''Really, Levi?'' I tried again, pulling him closer and circling my arms around his waist, but he was still avoiding eye contact. I felt bad, but soon his arms wrapped around my shoulders and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before our eyes met again.

  ''At least now you know how I feel,'' he said quietly.

  ''I do.'' I kissed his chin and pushed him away. ''You’d better get to work now, you don't want your customers to get moody with you, right?'' I teased gently. I bit my bottom lip to stop from giggling and walked away. I settled in the waiting room and grabbed a tattoo magazine from the table.

  ''Do you really think you’re going to sit there alone all day?''

  I glanced up and found Levi standing in front of me, his hands on his hips. To be honest, I had no clue what I was going to do here all day. I shrugged my shoulders.

  He shook his head and a tiny smile played on his lips. ''Come on, you’re part of the crew now. You’re our receptionist for the day.''

  I raised an eyebrow. ''What? Me?''

  Kyle laughed.

  ''Is that why you brought me here?'' I demanded.

  He caught the expression on my face - I must have looked pissed because he hurried to my side. ''No, Rock Star, I brought you here because I want you with me. There isn't much for you to do, but I just want you close. Hang out with me and Kyle.''

  ''Okay.'' His voice was my weakness. He could tell me anything he wanted with that sweet, sultry voice of his and I was lost.

  I took his hand and he gave my fingers a little squeeze. I walked behind the counter and sat with them. Levi had a beautiful smile on his lips. He was truly happy to have me here and he made me feel like I belonged.

  ''I don't know if you knew, but I work at the music store nearby and I think I'm going to quit. I'll have to do it sooner rather than later,'' I casually mentioned as I studied the appointment book.

  ''Why do you want to quit?'' Levi seemed surprised.

  ''Because he works there too.'' He knew exactly who I was talking about.

  ''Yeah. I remember now.'' I saw his jaw tense.

  ''I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep working there. Especially after I tell Tristan I’m not going to see him anymore. It’ll be too uncomfortable. I'll spend my
days here or with Bekka. I get enough tips to pay my rent and bills. I’ll be fine.''

  ''You can work here if you want,” Kyle offered. “We could use the extra help. Cleaning up our stations is a pain. We hate doing stuff like that, right Levi?''

  Levi glanced up from his desk and nodded. ''He’s right. If you want it, the job is yours.''

  ''Alright, I’ll have to think about it though.'' I decided to play with them a little, and made it sound as if I had a multitude of job offers lined up.

  ''Think fast, because we’ve got a long list of students looking for a job in a tattoo shop,'' Kyle said, pretending to search for the list amongst the pile of papers on his desk. “A huge list.” He grinned.

  ''I guess I’ll take it then,'' I said casually. I was very excited about the prospect, but at the same time, my mom’s reaction loomed in my mind and I knew she would be horrified if she found out. She had done everything she possibly could to keep me away from this world and these sort of people, and I knew she’d be furious to discover my relationship with them, particularly Levi. It all revolved around the tattoos, she hated them with a passion and held a massive amount of prejudice against people who had their bodies inked. I knew my Dad had tattoos and he’d abandoned Mom when she found out she was pregnant with me, and she’d always insisted that tattooed people were dangerous, had addictions to drugs and alcohol and were prone to abuse and breaking the law. Despite everything she’d drilled into me over the years, I didn't find Levi or Kyle dangerous. There weren't like Mom told me they would be. They had good values and showed respect to those around them. They were good guys, but I knew she would never get past how they looked, she would never try to understand that the way they chose to decorate their bodies didn’t make them bad people.

  ''Is everything okay, Rock Star?'' Levi stood right in front of me and I hadn't even noticed him. I was lost in my thoughts, realizing how disappointed Mom would be when she found out about Levi. My heart hurt because I liked him so much already, but I knew he would never meet with Mom’s approval.

  ''Yes... I... um. I’m fine.'' I forced a bright smile. ''Where do I start?''

  ''I’ll show you,'' Levi said, although he still looked concerned. I smiled again trying to prove I was okay, wanting him to let it go. He placed his hand on the small of my back and led me around the shop. He showed me how to keep the stations clean and sterile, and where the supplies were kept. It seemed easy, but I took some notes to make sure I wouldn't forget any of the steps.

  Levi’s first customer arrived not too long after he finished showing me everything. Adam was here to get a half sleeve and today Levi would only be working on marking the outline. My tattoo boy had everything ready. His stencil was done in advance. They chatted a bit about the Mariners game coming up and the colors he wanted to add to his tattoos.

  I felt like a stalker, spying on my victim. I was watching Levi, listening to his every word and falling deeper and deeper for him with every passing minute. His passion, his devotion to his job was overwhelming. He enjoyed it more than anything, he looked happy and it really suited him. It was his environment, his world. He was a listener; he remembered little details Adam had specified earlier. When he was working on each specific part of the tattoo, he made sure the outline would later allow him to do exactly what Adam wanted. He was very professional and I was impressed by his attitude. My little tattoo felt so small and boring next to this amazing piece he was working on.

  Kyle sat with me after his first appointment was completed and we talked for a while. He was a lot like Levi, not physically, but their personalities were similar. Kyle had his hands and fingers covered in tattoos, whereas Levi kept his unmarked.

  ''You know, I’ve seen Levi with other girls before, but it never looked like he really cared. There’s something going on with you, little girl. You’ve got him hooked.''

  ''Well, he’s got me hooked too,” I admitted, “and it’s the first time I’ve ever felt so strongly about someone. There’s an amazing connection between us, and I think I can learn a lot from him. He inspires me.''

  ''I can see the connection between you.'' He squeezed my shoulder gently. ''I'm sure the two of you together, you’ll be able to face anything. You’re both strong and honest, I can sense it.''

  I didn't know Kyle all that well, but I presumed Levi had talked about me before. It was probably why Kyle knew more about me than I knew about him.

  Levi was done with his client within two hours. Adam was a real trooper; he never complained about the pain I knew he was going through. He was happy with the first part of the tattoo and anxious to schedule his second appointment. I knew I would probably have cried if I’d had a tattoo the size Adam was having done. Pain wasn't something my mind was able to forget easily. Maybe it was better this way, it might keep me from getting more ink done. I loved my little pink star, but the thought of adding more was scary.

  We ordered pizza and chilled on the leopard print couch. Levi wrapped his arm around my shoulder and he kept gazing at me and giving me small and discreet kisses. His lips would touch my temple, my cheek or behind my ear. It sent shivers throughout my body and I’m sure I blushed a couple of times, even though Kyle was discreet and didn’t tease us.

  ''What will my schedule be like?'' I questioned as we finished up the pizza.

  ''You can work when you want... I know you work late at night and you’ll still need to get your sleep, so we won't be too difficult with you. I just want you around here as much as possible,'' Levi responded.

  ''Alright, I’ll make sure I come in every day.'' I placed a hand on his leg and drew little circles on his thigh with my finger. ''I’m going to quit at the music store today and clear my schedule. I’ll go when your next customer arrives.''

  He didn't say a word, just gazed at me, his eyes intent, searching mine. I didn't understand what was going on, but I stayed quiet and waited for him to say something. There was a little hint of a smile at the corner of his lips, and for some reason, he seemed calm and happy. ''This is the beginning of us... our story... and I don't want it to ever end,'' he finally said, his voice low and full of promises as he poured his heart out to me.

  ''I know, Levi.'' I smiled and tried to hold back the tears which threatened to fall. I knew at that moment this man and what he offered would change my life. It was real and I truly felt it, even if it had only been few hours since I’d accepted Levi into my life. Maybe I’d known since the day he first showed up at the club. I didn't know what was happening between us, but I loved it. The doorbell rang and I knew his next client was due to arrive, so I got up and pulled on his arm. I wasn't very strong, but he didn't hesitate to haul himself up. ''Kiss me, please, before I leave,'' I asked.

  ''Will you come back afterwards?'' he asked, and I could hear a hint of anxiety in his voice.

  ''Yes.'' I placed a hand on his cheek and he lowered his lips to mine. I loved his kisses already, and he made me light-headed before I forced myself pull away. I walked around to the other side of the counter and waved goodbye.

  The music store was only a couple of blocks away. I walked faster than I normally would, in a hurry to get this over with and go back to the shop to hang out with the guys.

  When I got there, the first person I saw was Tristan. He was delighted to see me but I wasn't so happy. I hadn't planned on running into him today, goodness only knows why, given that he worked here. I’d been so focused on Levi since this morning, it just never occurred to me that Tristan might be working a shift when I arrived to hand in my resignation.

  ''Hey, beautiful! What brings you in here this afternoon?'' Tristan asked with a warm smile and a wink.

  ''I’m here to hand in my resignation.'' I took a deep breath and the words slipped out of my mouth without hesitation. ''Listen, Tristan, we had a good time, you’re a nice guy, but it’s not going to work between you and me. I’ve met someone else and… um… I think it's pretty serious.''

  ''Were you with him while you were with me?'' he demand
ed.

  ''No... No, no, no! It wasn’t like that. He was a friend and this morning, things changed. I don't want things to be weird, so I'm going to quit this job. I was only working once a week anyway, so...''

  ''Wow, I can't believe you’re dumping me.'' He sounded hurt and I felt terrible.

  ''I’m sorry, Tristan, but I guess I am.'' There was nothing else I could say, instead I walked passed him to the boss’s office. I knocked on the door and he invited me in.

  It was my first time quitting a job and I hope it was the last. It’s far from fun and I found it nerve-wracking. The boss was surprised but he didn't question me too much. Five minutes later and I was out of the store, feeling relieved. I almost ran back to the shop, I wanted to be near Levi so much. It was crazy, but I was missing him already. His smile, his eyes, his hand holding mine, I had flashes of these images in my mind. I’d become so attached to him, in such a short period of time.

  I was brought back to earth by the sound of my cell phone ringing. When I checked the screen, I discovered Bekka was calling me. It seemed like I hadn't talked to her in ages, with so many things changing since last night. I was at the beginning of a brand new chapter in my adult life.

  ''Hi, Bekka.''

  ''Hey, baby girl. Where are you?''

  ''Well... I just quit my job at the music store and I’m on my way to Levi’s shop, where I’ll be working part time.''

  ''You? Working for Levi? What the hell did I miss?''

  ''You missed a whole amazing make-out session in the kitchen.'' I laughed nervously. ''I know I was sure I hated Levi, but Bekka, you were right. You’ve been right since the beginning. He is what I want and need.''

  ''You naughty girl! I’m so glad I was right about you two.'' I heard her whisper the news to Tyler and he congratulated us in the background. ''What about Tristan?''

  ''I’ve told him it’s over. I've never felt like this before, Bekka, I feel strong, I feel sexy, and I miss him already. I've never been like this over a guy before.''

  ''You’re falling in love girl, big time.''