Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  “Um, just a little. I’ve…”

  “Well, I will be giving you a board, you will solder on two through-hole components, two wires, four surface mount and two fine pitch. You have a time limit of no more than twenty minutes but in reality, if you can’t get it done within ten you probably need to find a different position.”

  Stefanie turned her back, grabbed parts and a blank circuit board and then placed them in front of me. She showed me where the soldering wand and all of the tips were and then showed me where to plug in my wrist strap. She looked at me for a second as if waiting for me to speak. Unsure of what to say I smiled at her.

  “Well do you have any questions?” she asked impatiently.

  “No, I’m ready.” I lied nervously. Good gracious, I’m thirty-one years old, I’ve been in charge of over twenty-four difficult employees, have had to grow the skin of an elephant to survive then thrive in a male dominated field and this one woman had me a shaking, nervous mess.

  She turned and looked at the clock. “You’re time begins now, I’ll be back to check on you.”

  I watched her leave the work area and walk away. The area I was in had about six work stations that were placed in a U shape with the opening of the U leading to a center walkway. There appeared to be five U shaped work areas going down the line, each station holding the necessary equipment to build and repair PC boards. On the other side of the walkway were various single stations and a huge machine that I later found out was called the solder wave machine. I watched people with large leather looking oven gloves picking up metal trays that held several PC boards, moving them onto a metal conveyor belt. I was interested because very few people over there stood still or were sitting. It seemed to be the action area on the production floor. The inside of the building was a large open warehouse that was broken up by machines, false half-walls and walkways.

  I grinned when I saw Melody sneak over to my work station and look over my shoulder. “How’s the test going?”

  “Oh my god, what was I thinking? I haven’t worked with such tiny parts. It’s crazy!” I whispered back.

  “You’ll do fine. Just focus and breathe. How’s Dad doing?”

  “Better. He is getting out of his chair and wandering around the house but the doc said he can’t go outside and work by himself. He thinks he got all of the infection but he doesn’t want him to fall on concrete or off a ladder until he’s 100% healed. Needless to say Dad is crabby.”

  Melody giggled, “Better you than me. I better go before we get caught. Good luck on your test, you’re going to do great.”

  “Thanks, Sis. Love you and I’ll see you later.”

  I saw a flash of blue ESD jacket and saw Stefanie wandering back to my area. Shit! I still hadn’t soldered anything on! I grabbed the appropriate sized solder wire and began soldering one of my through hole parts. She came in and looked over my shoulder. I felt her breath on my neck when she blew it out. I opened my mouth to say something but she turned and walked down the aisle. I had a feeling she had already written me off.

  I put my head down and focused. I was not going to blow this job. I needed the time to figure out what my next step was going to be in my career. I built friggin’ car engines; I sure as hell could solder some little plastic parts on! But that’s where I realized the major differences were. Engines were big and you had room to get tools and hands in places. These parts were tiny, including SOT’s, capacitors and resistors, and several times my parts moved because I breathed too heavy. As a second SOT moved off of the soldering pad my frustration and nervousness finally got to me and I felt tears start streaming down my face. It hit my gut like a ton of bricks. All of the hours, dedication and pride that I had put into my career that was ignored or taken advantage of by upper management. The health scares with my father, the pressure to succeed in a new job that I appeared to be floundering in. I was failing.

  I picked up another SOT with my tweezers and placed it on the board to solder. My tears were still flowing but I refused to give up and I blinked rapidly to clear my eyes so I could see what I was doing. I was so focused that I never heard Stefanie come up behind me.

  “How are you doing?”

  I let out a yelp, squeezed my tweezers too hard which caused my SOT to pop out of them and go flying up and hit Stefanie in the cheek.

  “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t hear you! Are you alright?” I babbled. Mascara smeared under my eyes and down my cheeks.

  “I’m fine, why are you crying?” she asked and I could tell by the look on her face that she was sincere, which touched me and caused me to babble more.

  “This job is so important to me. I can’t fail, not at this! I need to be able to do this job, to work here. I can’t screw this up but I don’t know what I’m doing. There are so many critters and my dad depending on me, I really need this job.” I spewed the words from my mouth like vomit, not giving her a chance to cut in or respond.

  She put a hand on my shoulder when I ran out of breath. “Celeste, breathe. It’s okay, you’re not going to lose your job just because you can’t solder a SOT on the board. It’s just a starting point to see where I need to start your training.”

  “But you said if I couldn’t do it, I need to find another position.” I sniffed.

  “Another position in the building, not another position at a different company. But by looking at your board you have potential. You’re through-hole soldering is pretty nice. I think you will do fine in add on, we’ll just train you a little more. Okay?” she asked.

  “Okay. What’s add on?” I asked feeling so much better.

  “Add on is where you solder various parts onto the board that can’t be run through the wave machine. The heat in the machine would cause the parts to melt so you have to hand solder them or add them on. Hence the name, add on.”

  “Cool.” I grinned. Maybe I misjudged Stefanie. She seemed gruff but had already shown me kindness during my mini meltdown.

  “Okay, let’s get to training. We have a busy week ahead of us.”

  FOUR

  The week flew by and I began mastering the art of hand soldering. Even Stefanie admitted that I was good and caught on fast. I was able to take my lunches at the same time as Melody so we were able to catch up on life and she filled me in on the company gossip. She had been at the same company for over seven years and a pattern had emerged. Every time the company threw an employee appreciation BBQ, ice cream social or pot luck, pink slips were given out the following morning. They had scheduled a 4th of July BBQ celebration in two weeks and already the rumors were flying as to who was going to be laid off and who would be staying. A meeting had been scheduled for the end of the week to quell those rumors. I looked forward to it because it gave me a chance to see how upper management handled the rumors and I could enjoy a cool Pepsi. I put my change into the machine, made my selection and went into the lunchroom looking for Melody. I found her sitting against the window with one of her friends. She waved me over and introduced me.

  “Brandy, this is my sister Celeste. Celeste this is my friend, Brandy. Brandy works over in surface mount.”

  Brandy smiled. “Hi Celeste! Melody has told me so much about you! Are you sorry you came to work here yet?” she laughed boisterously.

  I immediately liked Brandy. Her round face had laugh lines around her blue eyes and her long brown hair and freckled face reminded me of a childhood doll. I could tell she liked to laugh and joke and I was the same way.

  “Hi Brandy. No, I’m not sorry yet, just taking in the lovely ambiance.” I laughed.

  “So your sister was telling me that you’ve been divorced for awhile but she didn’t tell me you were engaged again! What a rock!” Brandy exclaimed, nodding at my ring finger.

  I felt my face go red, forgetting that I was still wearing my wedding ring.

  “Oh, she’s still single.” my sister broke in. “It’s just that she doesn’t want to have to deal with the guys that come onto her. She still wears her wedding
ring so they will think she’s married.”

  “Oh, does it work?” Brandy asked.

  I nodded. “For the most part it does. I still get some sleazy guys who hit on me even though they think I’m married but not as frequently as when I wasn’t wearing it.”

  “So do you miss being married?”

  “No, not really. I’ve built this amazing life for myself, I’ve got my property, my horses and hopefully I’ll be able to start raising Tennessee Walking horses soon. I loved the idea of marriage but my first one wasn’t anything like my idea.” I said.

  “Will you ever get married again?” she giggled and I could tell she was teasing me.

  “Hell no! Been there, done that. I’ll have my fun but I’m not going to make that kind of commitment again.” I laughed.

  I glanced up and watched more people making their way into the room. Space was getting tight and I watched some walk over to the far wall and lean against it. A few minutes before the meeting was supposed to start I watched a group of guys come walking in and make their way towards the wall. My eyes locked onto the second man in the group and I felt my heart beat a little faster. I nudged my sister and nodded in his direction.

  “Speaking of having fun, who is that?” I whispered, unable to take my eyes off of him. He was tall and lanky; his Levi’s fitting perfectly around his derrière, not too tight or hanging off. His black hair was parted off to the side and his bangs swept across his forehead. I couldn’t see his eyes because of the reflective safety glasses he wore but his angular cheek bones and dimples in his cheeks reminded me of a pop star I had been crushing on since I was twelve.

  “His name is Sean. He works over in wave. He’s in the section right next to you; I’m surprised you haven’t noticed him before. He works swing shift so he’s coming in when we are leaving.” Melody commented.

  “Is he single? He’s hot! I would love to have a night with him I giggled.

  “Calm down, Celeste. Geez, you’re acting like a dog in heat! Last I heard he was single.” Melody chastised.

  I heard a tinge of jealousy in her voice and glanced at her. “Cut me a little slack, Melody. It’s been five years since I’ve been with a man. It can make a woman a little crazy. Are you interested in him? I won’t pursue him if you are.”

  “No, I’m not interested in him.” she said sullenly.

  “Good! Then find out if he’s single!”

  ***

  The weekend went by quickly. I was making arrangements to buy hay and working the horses so before I knew it, Monday arrived again. The handsome mystery man would pop into my mind occasionally and I found myself fantasizing about him, often making myself physically uncomfortable. Anyone who has been single for a while can relate to that, it can be painful at times.

  I dressed in jeans and a nice top and swept my long, blond hair up into a French twist. As much as I would love to wear my hair down, I found it often got in the way of my soldering gun and the smell of burning hair was not appealing. I put on some make up, some earrings and grabbed my purse to head out the door. I had fed the horses earlier before I showered so the only one to wish me a good day was my father. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and jumped into my truck.

  My truck was my pride and joy, a brand new Dodge quad cab that was pure snow white with tinted windows, black trim and white, molded running boards. I had custom rims and tires on it that helped give it a classy look. I loved my truck.

  I made it to work and started counting down the hours until I would run into Sean when I got off my shift and he was starting his. This went on all week as I tried to conveniently be around the lockers when his shift started or I had to get supplies, which were located in his work area. I used any opportunity I could to lay my eyes on him. Unfortunately my timing seemed to be off and I barely saw him. I was slowly getting frustrated and wondering if I should just give up.

  The following Tuesday I mindlessly went to my station and began my work. I was being praised for how quickly I picked up on the technique of soldering and there was talk of advancing me to the position of repairing boards that came out wrong or had defective parts. It was a skilled position that many vied for but only a few were qualified to fill. I was listening to my music and working on my board when Stefanie came up.

  “Hey, Mark wants to talk to you. He’s waiting for you in his office.”

  “Great, I hope I’m not in trouble.” I muttered as I shut off my equipment and made my way to his “office” which was actually just a cubicle off of the production floor.

  “Celeste! Come on in and have a seat!” Mark stood up and smiled and I felt a little uneasy at his overly friendly manner. He had two brown, woven arm chairs that had obviously seen better days, crammed within his four-by-four cubicle. He’d tried his best to make it look like a proper office and mentally I gave him credit for his attempt.

  “Hey Mark, is everything okay?”

  “Everything is great! Listen, you’ve been doing a fantastic job and everyone is really impressed. In fact, we are going to move you to repair and it pays fifty cents an hour more. Are you up for that?”

  “Yeah, that’s great.” I was very appreciative but had to hold a giggle. Raises in the automotive industry were given in the thousands. I was definitely in a different employment realm but thankful that my hard work was finally noticed and appreciated. That fifty cent raise was better than any bonus from my previous job.

  “There’s just one bit of change.” Mark interrupted my thoughts. “The position is on second shift. We need you to start tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Oh, okay.” I agreed absently. My mind had already kicked into gear trying to figure out when I was going to get hay, work horses, and do chores. Then I realized I would be working with Sean. Somehow I would figure out how I would get the chores done!

  I left his cubicle and immediately went looking for Melody. I needed to tell her I was starting a new shift tomorrow and that this would be our last day together. We agreed to meet outside for lunch and I went back to my station. Things were looking up and I was excited to see where things would go with Sean, now that we would be working on the same shift. Being tall, slender and blond I never had a problem getting dates and unless Sean was otherwise taken, I was pretty confident that we would have that date I had fantasized about. He could be fun for a little while and we could occupy each other’s free time for the summer.

  At lunch I grabbed my bag and met Melody outside. There were several picnic benches around the front of the door and people were already sunning themselves while eating their lunch. I led her down the sidewalk where I had seen another picnic bench, farther from the others that sat next to the man-made pond. It offered a view and the privacy I wanted. I could hardly contain myself and bombarded her with questions right away.

  “So, did you find out if he’s seeing anyone or not? How old is he? Has he ever been married?”

  “Can I answer now?” Melody teased. “Yes he’s single, no he’s not seeing anyone, he’s thirty-two and I have no idea if he’s ever been married or not.”

  “Sweet! I wonder if he would like to go out.” I mused out loud.

  “Actually he’s been checking you out all week, walking by your station to see what you look like and yes, he would like to go out with you.”

  “Oh my gosh, are you serious? That is awesome! Is he going to talk to me or do I need to talk to him?” I grinned.

  “I’m not sure but that’s up to you to find out. I’m no longer your middle man. Get your playmate on your own.” Melody tried to tease but I could hear some resentment in her voice.

  “Melody, what is going on? Why don’t you want me to go out with Sean?” I asked.

  “It’s nothing. You two will have fun.” she replied sullenly.

  “It’s something and I want you to tell me.” I pushed.

  “It seems like every guy that I am interested in, you go after. And let’s face it, Celeste, every guy you crush on you get.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’
t know. I’ll back off, you can have him.” I felt my heart drop.

  “Don’t bother, I already tried. He’s not interested in me.” she shared. “I’m just being silly. Go get your sex toy, I mean boy.” she smiled and I knew she meant it.

  “Thanks big sister. I owe you one!” I grinned and kissed her on the cheek.

  FIVE

  I couldn’t stop my nervousness. I was nervous to start work with a new group of people, I was nervous about starting my new position and I was extremely nervous about working on the same shift as Sean. I was hoping that things would go smoothly, on all counts. I dropped my lunch off in the lunch room and went to my locker to get my work attire and lock up my purse. I turned to go back into the break room when I saw him standing by the corner lockers. Damn he was hot. I walked towards him, thinking of subjects that I could use to talk to him about but when he looked up I felt my face turn beet red. I smiled and darted to the right into the break room. Through the glass walls, I watched him walk onto the production floor.

  “Real smooth, Celeste.” I grumbled to myself as I put my heel straps onto my shoes. I decided to go the back way onto the production floor so I could avoid running into him again and as I whipped open the door to get to my station in time, I was face to face with him as he worked on getting the wave machine up and running again.

  Once more turning beet red, I smiled at him. “Hi.”

  I’d like to say he said hi back and that we started a conversation but I was so embarrassed and flustered that I raced by him and have no idea if he even responded. I could definitely tell I had been out of the dating loop for five years, hell, I couldn’t even talk to a man without looking like an idiot. I found my new station and began to check to make sure all of the soldering tips and equipment I needed was there. Satisfied that I was fully stocked, I went over to the work rack and pulled down the next order to be repaired. I sat down at my station, put in my ear buds and turned on my music while my soldering wand heated up. I glanced around, looking for a possible familiar face when I saw Sean working on some boards. Suddenly he looked over in my direction and caught me staring at him. Great, my workbench faced his work area and now he was going to see me gawking at him throughout the night. He probably thought I was some crazed stalker chick. Not a good way to make a first impression. In my defense, it was really difficult to keep my eyes off of him. He was so tall. He had to be at least six-foot-two and with dark, black hair to boot. And his arms, oh my gosh, he had strong, hairy arms. I love man hair in moderation. His hands are large with long fingers and those sexy bulging veins on the back of his hands as he worked. Yep, I had a crush bad and the only thing that would fix it would be to sleep with him. Then I could get my hormones back on track and focus on my life like a normal human being. Now to convince him I wasn’t some weirdo was going to be the challenge.